Chapter Text
Selina Kyle was a known super thief. A cat burglar. Literally. The infamous Catwoman loved poking fun at the terms that others would use to demonise or criticise her. Hence the ears and tail on her costume. Plus it made her look cute.
Her world was a lonely, dangerous world. She could only afford to look out for herself. For years she thought that she would die alone… then…
He was about seven years old… he was sitting in an alley, all by himself, shivering in the rain and crying. Selina wasn’t usually one to be all selfless and noble… but she couldn’t bear to hear him crying. So she slipped down from the window of the apartment she had been about to burgle, and landed beside him.
“Hello?” She said gently. “What’s your name?”
The little boy jumped and stared at her, tears still spilling down from his eyes.
“It’s okay,” Selina assured him. “I’m not gonna hurt you.” She took off her mask and let him see her face. “My name’s Selina. What’s yours?”
He sniffed. “Richard. My mom and dad call me Dick.”
“And where are your mom and dad?”
Dick’s face started to get all twisted up again, more tears incoming. He started bawling before he could get the first word out, gasping for air something awful. “Th—the—they fe—ell! And—and they wou—wouldn’t—n’t wake up!!”
The sound of his cries was just unbearable. Selina felt tears of her own starting to cloud her vision as she wrapped little Dick in a hug. The poor thing… what on earth had happened?
After a while—after his crying had calmed down a little—Selina tried to ask more questions, soothingly stroking his dark, shaggy hair in an attempt to comfort him.
“What are you doing out here in the rain?”
“I g-got scared… I don-n’t wanna go bac-back…”
Selina tightened her hug.
Taking him would make her a criminal… heh… good thing she already was one. But what about the rest of his family? What about the police? What about the fact that she had no idea how to take care of kids? She sighed and tried to wipe away Dick’s tears.
“Hey… it’s gonna be alright… why don’t we go down to the police station? They’ll know what to do.”
Dick suddenly looked up at her, panic-stricken. “Are you gonna lea-leave?!”
Selina tried to let her own feelings get drowned out by the sound of the pouring rain, but it was no use. His face was too soft and round, his eyes too big, and his lip was quivering too much.
“No,” she said quickly. “No, I’m not going to leave.” Again, she hugged him, holding him close enough to warm his cold skin. “I promise.”
Eventually, she was able to lead him away from the alley and, holding his hand, took him carefully through the back doors of Gotham until they reached her apartment. Feeling a bit overwhelmed, she quickly gathered her senses and started looking for a towel to dry Dick off and then turned up the heat on the thermostat.
“Do you like cereal?” She asked from the kitchen. It was about the only thing she had at the moment, but it was better than nothing.
Dick was sitting on the small sofa in the living room, watching the rain fall down the windows. Gotham was blue and gold with a cold, cloudy sky fading into warm streetlights.
“Cereal’s fine,” he eventually said, pulling the towel tighter around his shoulders.
A minute later, Selina and Dick were sitting around her small kitchen table, eating Froot Loops. Dick had calmed down a lot, but his eyes were still red. Selina began to wonder what she was going to do with him. Was she really considering letting him stay? Where would he sleep? What would he eat? Wear? Do all day? She couldn’t enrol him in school. Again, she thought she should hand him over to someone else—someone who knew what they were doing—but then he looked at her with those big blue eyes of his and… she couldn’t bear to let him go into a stranger’s hands. Would they care about him like she knew she could? Would they know the kind of loneliness that Dick was feeling now? Maybe there was a reason the two of them had crossed paths tonight.
Again, she reassured him that she wasn’t going anywhere, and if he wanted to stay, he could.
“Just for tonight,” he had said.
Yeah… just for that night…
One year later…
Dick was still living with Selina, and she had been doing her best to take care of him. Now, when she burgled someone, she was doing it for him as much as for herself. She bought him new clothes, she traded her one bedroom apartment for a two bedroom apartment and got him his own bed and a few toys. She started reading books about taking care of kids and… basically, how to not screw up parenting.
So far, Dick seemed happy. He never talked about his parents, or his life before coming to Selina. It must have been too painful. Sometimes, Selina would imagine that he came from a troubled home where the husband and wife were fighting all the time, and that’s what had led to such a traumatic episode. It made her seem like an angel by comparison.
As far as school went, she remained convinced that sending him to public school would be a bad idea, so she thought she could take a whack at trying to homeschool him, and homeschool him she did, but not just in math and spelling. Dick had taken an interest in her… ahem… “work.” Selina felt flattered, and started teaching him things like slight of hand. Pickpocketing. Being sneaky. Oh, she never taught him so well that he could pull something on her, she was smart enough to know better, but as an eight-year-old, she had no reason to worry about him just now.
Strangely enough, Selina never saw a missing poster or heard Dick’s name come up anywhere. There was a chance she was just not looking in the right places, or that their new apartment wasn’t anywhere near where the police might have looked for him, but either way, she couldn’t complain.
Dick was always so happy when she came home from a heist. He was eager to see what she had brought, and Selina would explain about how and why each item was valuable. The idea of “stealing” hadn’t really quite solidified in Dick’s mind, and the older he got, the more he came to think that it was as normal as grocery shopping.
Then, something unexpected happened.
Selina and Dick were out for a walk that Autumn, stepping on crunchy leaves that had blown over from the park, when Selina’s keen ears picked up a very specific sound coming from one of the alleyways. She knew Gotham’s alleys well. She knew that people threw things away there all the time, but she never would have expected to walk down into that darkness and find a cardboard box… with a little boy inside, fast asleep. He couldn’t be older than four, and his t-shirt and pants looked old and ratty. There were bruises on his arms…
The box didn’t offer any clues. There was no note or message scribbled anywhere. Selina tried calling out for anyone nearby who might know something, but as expected, the alley was deserted. What to do?
Dick peered over into the box and frowned. The boy was crying in his sleep.
“What’s wrong with him?” He asked.
“Probably having a nightmare, sweetie,” Selina explained, pacing a little.
“Where’s his parents?”
“I don’t know…”
Dick thought for a moment. “Can we keep him?”
“W-what!?” Selina blurted, her mind already racing with the extra expenses and more of her time eaten up by taking care of a four-year-old. “No, kitten, we… we need to take him to an orphanage, or…”
“Pleeeeeaase?” Dick’s eyes were getting dangerously wide. “He’s all alone, and he’s cold.”
Selina tried to hold on to her good sense… she tried real hard… but this child was even more in need than Dick had been. She made the mistake of looking down at him again, all curled up and tiny with those scrawny, bruised arms and ratty shirt…
What would be the harm? Dick would get a little brother out of it. Someone to play with. And he was old enough that he could start to help out a little.
“…Okay,” she said tentatively, hoping that she hadn’t just made a huge mistake.
Dick smiled wide and immediately turned to nudge the boy awake. Selina noticed how gentle he was being as he said, “Hey… wake up…”
The little boy’s eyes opened blearily and the first thing he did after staring up at Selina and Dick was start crying very loudly. Did he have any idea of what had happened to him?
“Shh, it’s okay,” Dick tried to reassure him, and he reached out to give him a hug. “We’re not gonna hurt you.”
Selina’s heart melted when she heard that. The very same thing she had said to Dick one year ago…
“He’s right, munchkin. It’s gonna be alright.”
After he’d calmed down a little, she scooped him up and held him for a while. They waited there, in the alley, hoping that someone would come by… but no one did. It looked like there would be one more for dinner.
Dick was very excited when they got back to the apartment. He wanted to show his new brother around and cheer him up, but Selina had to tell him to wait for all that. The poor thing was still crying terribly, sobbing “Mama…” over and over again into Selina’s shirt. They went into Dick’s room and tried to set him down on the bed, but he refused to let go of Selina. She ended up holding him and rocking him for a good twenty minutes until he started to fall back asleep.
Dick had grabbed them some snacks to eat in the meantime (goldfish crackers), and when the little tyke finally did nod off, Selina tucked him into Dick’s bed and went to start on dinner.
Then, when he woke up again an hour later, the whole thing started all over again. It was a long first night… but by the end of it, Selina was finally able to ask him some basic questions. Like,
“What’s your name, hon? Hm?”
“…Jason…” he said through chubby cheeks.
“Jason,” Selina smiled. “Everything’s gonna be okay now. You hungry? You wanna eat something?”
Jason didn’t eat anything that night, but that was fine. Breakfast wasn’t far away.
He and Dick wound up sleeping with Selina, to be right there if he woke up again and started to panic. She was determined to let him know that he was safe and loved. She didn’t want him to ever feel like something that had been thrown away mere hours before.
She wasn’t able to learn much from Jason. Just his name. Everything else, he had no idea how to put into words. He did ask a few times, “where’s Mama?” “When’s mama coming home?” Once, she even caught him standing in front of the door, waiting… and Selina had to tell him,
“Mama went away for a little bit. But I’m sure… she might come back.”
Autumn turned to winter, and Gotham turned white with snow, but still, Jason’s mother did not turn up. He didn’t ask about her quite as much anymore. In fact, by the following spring, Selina found herself the owner of the name “Mama.” She’d just about started crying when Jason said it for the first time. He had run right up to her, excited as a little kitten, and had shown her a picture he had drawn with crayons, saying,
“Mama! Mama, look! Look, Mama! Look I did!”
Dick was right beside him, encouraging him. He had been a good big brother so far. He enjoyed showing Jason around the apartment, and how to do things, and how to play games. He enjoyed sharing a room together, and Selina was grateful that it wasn’t solely up to her to entertain the both of them. They managed just fine on their own most days.
Those bruises on Jason’s arms healed up nice and fast, and his new clothes made him look like a whole new kid. Thank goodness Jason was mostly potty-trained, otherwise Selina would have had a full blown break down, but he was still transitioning out of pull-ups, and… there were a handful of messes made… but nothing a trip to the washing machine and the bathtub couldn’t fix.
Before long, Jason was joining them on their trips to the park where Selina would grab a cup of coffee, the boys would each get a hot chocolate, and then she would watch them run around with the other kids while she breathed in the clean spring air. Or, well… as clean as it ever got in Gotham, anyway.
Selina continued to teach Dick, and now Jason, as best as she could, and she began stealing a little more often. She wanted to give these boys the best life she could. She wanted to give them everything she never had.
The next Christmas was especially fun. Now that Jason was a lot more adjusted, he was able to enjoy himself, and Dick flipped out when he saw the new game console that Selina had bought for him. Then, Dick revealed that he had a gift for Selina. It was a gold watch. Selina asked how he could have possibly gotten this, and Dick revealed that he had nicked it off a lady at the park the other day. He had been practising, you see, and this was the very first thing he had managed to swipe. Just for her.
Selina didn’t know what to say… mostly because she didn’t know how to feel. She suddenly felt as though maybe she shouldn’t have taught him all those things… that maybe she should be guiding him toward getting a good paying job… but then all her feelings against the systems society had put into place came back to her… and she was left with the overwhelming gratitude she felt toward her adopted son. He’d done so well and had made her happy. That’s all that mattered to her.
A few more years went by, and Dick and Jason just kept getting bigger and bigger. Dick was twelve now, and Jason was eight. They’d had to move house once because… well, Selina hadn’t told them, but it was because she was afraid her cover might have been compromised. So now they were in a new place, but still doing the same things. Dick and Jason enjoyed playing video games together, practising stealing and sneaking around together, and Selina had to admit they were getting good. Really good. They would go to the park on weekends, do schoolwork on weekdays, go to the movies if they felt like it, or a baseball game, or the arcade. At night, Selina would get to work, pulling off big heists that had taken her weeks to plan, but so far, she’d yet to be caught, and neither had any of her black market buyers. She was making a pretty little penny off of her burglaries.
Life had settled into a nice, steady rhythm, and the three of them were happy.
But their family was not quiet complete yet.
It was around that time that they met another little boy named Tim. Tim was about six years old and an orphan. He’d been an orphan for most of his life, and he hated the orphanages in Gotham. He hated the foster families even more. He ran away all the time. Or, he tried to, at least. He was six. This time, however, he managed to sneak off and got all the way down to the park where Selina and Dick and Jason were hanging out. It was summer, late in the afternoon, and Selina was in the middle of getting the boys ice cream when she saw him. She recognised the signs. Checking over his shoulder, not making eye contact with people, jumping at small sounds. She offered to buy him an ice cream and they talked a little bit on the park bench. Selina tried to encourage him to go back to the orphanage, but he ultimately wouldn’t budge. He was just gonna sit there and be miserable.
As Selina and the boys were leaving the park, she pulled out her cellphone and made a call, telling the police where to look for a runaway boy. She, Dick, and Jason went back home thinking that would be the end of it… and then, when Selina went to take out the trash that night, she found Tim asleep outside her door. He had followed her!? Oh boy…
After the garbage was taken care of, she came back and woke him up. He really needed to go back to the orphanage, he couldn’t stay here. But, stubborn as a mule, he planted his feet and refused to move, or be picked up. Selina said, “fine,” and went inside, pulling out her cellphone again. Just before she hit “call” however, she looked over at the living room and saw Tim sitting with Dick and Jason watching tv. This was unbelievable. How had that little—you know what, it didn’t matter. She was going to take him back herself whether he liked it or not, but then,
“Do we have to?” Dick asked.
“Can’t he stay one night?” Jason added.
By now, Dick didn’t see the harm in letting him stay, (he was used to just taking things if he wanted them), and Jason was used to following Dick’s lead. They had both been adopted… why not let Tim stay? He seemed to want to anyway.
Selina asked to talk with Tim alone for a moment. She wanted to know why he wouldn’t go back. Why was it so bad that he had to stay here?
And Tim said, “…Nobody likes me… the older boys steal from me… push me… the girls laugh… the grown ups don’t care… sometimes they laugh too… I hate them…”
Selina felt her heartstrings getting pulled on again. But she couldn’t just adopt him, she’d never get approved, and last thing she wanted was someone doing a background check on her. She’d have to take him in without consent—basically kidnapping—and then keep the police from finding out—
She took him in.
Come on, she was a criminal. She didn’t care about the law. What was one more, anyway? Dick and Jason had both been sweethearts, and technically there was no one around to stop her, so… why not?
Now, Tim couldn’t go out for a while—had to keep a low profile—but he was okay with that. Summer was ending, the colder weather was starting to set in, and he actually enjoyed being with Selina and the other boys, watching tv together, reading together, making hot coco together. They were nice to him. Gave him things. Made him food. Played games with him. For a six-year-old, that was everything. Bit by bit, his hard exterior began to fall away, revealing a smart, nerdy boy who liked watching shows like Star Trek and Transformers and who was fascinated by computers and engineering. Selina didn’t always understand him, but she was glad to see that he was opening up and enjoying himself.
Before long, Dick was asking Selina if he could go on a heist with her, but she told him that he wasn’t ready for something like that. You had to seriously practise. One mistake, and you’d be done for. So Dick started practising, and because he was the oldest, Jason and Tim started practising too. Selina thought they made an adorable team of little cat burglars, and once they found out she had a code name, they wanted code names too. Dick wanted to be called “Black-Claw,” Jason wanted to be called “Shadow-Fang,” and Tim opted for “Night-Stalker.” Together, they would “plan heists” in the living room and try to “steal jewels” or other valuable items.
Selina had to admit, it felt nice having a family. One that legitimately had her back and she felt she could trust.
Perhaps she had liked that idea too much…
The family had just moved house again, for safety reasons. It was a slightly nicer neighbourhood this time, (they had recently pulled off a particularly lucrative heist), and everyone was really excited about it. Selina loved spoiling her boys, and they loved spoiling her.
She got up early the next morning to exercise (going for jogs was a great way to case the neighbourhood) but when she opened the front door… she stopped… and looked down… and there, at her feet, wrapped in a blanket, was a sleeping baby boy. He couldn’t be any older than a year and a half. Someone must have seen them moving in… and thought that she would be able to give their boy a better life… She had heard that it happened from time to time in Gotham… but she’d never actually seen it for herself. Oh boy…
She had no idea what to with him… she just picked him up and started pacing in her kitchen. The little guy was cooing softly, his chubby little cheeks and nose and everything just too precious to ignore. She could easily get rid of him—she didn’t even need to lie. She could just go to an orphanage, drop him off and say, “I found him outside my door. Don’t where where he came from.” Buuuuuut… the other three boys had been turning out so well. They were such a big help.
Dick came in just then and spotted the baby in her arms.
“Mom?” He asked, bewildered.
“Someone just left him on the doorstep,” she explained.
He came over at once to look at him. “He’s so weird-looking,” he laughed.
“Aw, he’ll grow into his looks.”
“Are we keeping him?”
Selina thought for a moment. It would be more difficult. He’d need more attention. Then there were the… diapers… egh… but… but that face… and he had no one else, and… what if he didn’t land in such a nice home?
She decided she would give it a try.
“We have a new brother, you guys!” Dick went calling into their bedroom.
Jason and Tim came out with pyjamas still on and hair sticking up, all excited to see the new baby. Tim eyed him sceptically.
“What’s his name?” Jason asked.
“I don’t know,” said Selina. “I guess we’ll have to give him one.”
“Oh, Fang!”
“No, that’s stupid. How about… Chase?” Dick suggested.
“Bert?” Said Tim.
“I’ve got an idea,” said Selina, sitting down at the kitchen table with him. “How about… Damian.”
“Damian?” Dick repeated, scrunching up his nose.
“I read it in a book once,” Selina explained. “Always liked the sound of it.”
“I still like Fang,” said Jason.
“That’s because it’s in your code name,” said Dick.
“Well, why don’t you boys pick out a code name for him? I know you’ll think of something good.”
And so it was that little Damian was dubbed “Screecher” after their first night together where he would not stop crying.
Selina had her hands full trying to set up a cradle in her room for him, get a high chair, a stroller, and a million other things. The boys enjoyed helping too, though they had their limits. Damian wasn’t cute all the time. They learned that very quick. But, he was family now. Baby brother Damian.
For a long time, that was their biggest adventure; learning how to take care of a baby together. The second biggest was becoming the single most revered cat burglar squad in Gotham’s underground.
When Dick was thirteen, Selina decided to take him on his first official heist. Something small and low risk. A little apartment on the other side of town, no security, no animals. The resident was out of town. The goal was to swipe a single spoon from the cutlery drawer, and then get out. It wasn’t about the value of the object, but about Dick’s proficiency at cat burgling. He passed with flying colours. Blackclaw was an official thief now.
Jason followed not long after, taught to steal at an even younger age than Dick, though he was mostly tasked with providing lookout while Selina and Dick did all the actual stealing. Dick as Blackclaw became the most nimble thief out of them all, able to break in to any building without making a single sound. Jason excelled at self defence, and grew strong and tall, making him the perfect bodyguard. Tim took to electronics like a fish to water, and soon his side of the boys’ room looked like a hacker’s playground. He would handle cameras, alarms, anything with a pulse of electricity going through it, allowing the crime family to pull off even bigger heists. Then, there was little Damian, seven years old now, and eager to catch up to his mom and big brothers. Though he couldn’t do much besides watch over Tim’s shoulder as he worked, which bugged him to no end. He also loved helping to plan the heists, for what little help he could be.
They lived a lavish lifestyle, doing whatever they liked so long as they continued to steal worthwhile items and sell them on the black market undetected. But lately, they’d been having trouble. There was this so-called superhero in town. Everyone called him “Batman.” Tim had become obsessed with him, tracking down footage of him and internet chatter—this guy was a serious fighter, and he’d been taking down gangs and crooks left and right. If they weren’t careful, they could wind up on the other side of his fist. Selina promised, no more high-risk heists for a while. They’d let this superhero pass right by them.
Dick was seventeen now, and this little break in activity lent itself well to address something that had been weighing on Selina’s mind. What did Dick want to do once he turned eighteen? He didn’t have to stay a thief. If he wanted, he could do anything his heart desired. He was never caught, so he didn’t have a criminal record. Dick just shrugged. He liked the family business. What did she expect him to do? Go flip burgers? After everything he’d been through? No way. Besides, he couldn’t just leave Selina. Who would watch her back on heists? Especially with that Batman guy hanging around, there was no better reason for him to stay close a little while longer.
So, for the next year, things were quiet. No major mishaps, no injuries, no run-ins with the cops… but then…
One night, Selina went out to do a caper by herself. She didn’t tell the boys. She just wanted a little alone time. A little space. The need for it came up every now and then. She lived with four boys, how could it not? Anyway, it was an easy target; a jewellery box in an empty apartment. It should have been in and out.
The next morning, Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian woke up to find Selina gone. At first, they thought that maybe she was out on a jog, but her running shoes were still by the door. Dick had a bad feeling…
Before the worry could really set in, Selina suddenly came in through the window.
“What happened?”
“Where were you?”
“Are you alright?”
“I’m fine, I’m fine,” she tried to reassure them. “Just… took the long way home last night, that’s all.”
“You went out on another solo mission, didn’t you?” Dick asked, frowning.
“Yes, I’m a seasoned professional, kitty, I know how to handle myself.”
“But what if Batman found you?”
Selina stopped and hesitated. What they didn’t know was that he actually had found her. They had spent most of the night together. He had almost arrested her—it was the first time in years she had been handcuffed—but she knew how to get out of sticky situations. Manipulating that Batman was a piece of cake… and yet, she hadn’t been able to lose him. He found her again, and when she tried to shake him, he persisted. She had never, ever met anyone like him before. Someone so smart and talented… and who looked good in a skin-tight suit…
Let’s just say, there were some things that happened during the night that she would never discuss with the boys.
Speaking of which, back in the present, Selina insisted that nothing went wrong and that she wasn’t planning on making this a habit right now. She knew it was dangerous to be out and about alone with Batman hanging around. Dick didn’t need to worry, none of them did. Everything was totally under control.
A few more weeks went by, and Damian woke up in the middle of the night from a bad dream and went to her room, but she wasn’t there. He immediately woke up his brothers. Selina had gone off on another heist without them. Dick couldn’t handle the worry. He just needed to know if she was alright.
All four of them suited up and tracked Selina down. She was pulling a heist alright. A regular old heist. Small potatoes. The kind she used to do way back when. But there was something off about it. Selina wasn’t being nearly as quick or professional, she was sloppy… and Dick could tell that she was doing it on purpose.
Then, someone else appeared. A shadow. Someone Selina seemed to know. The boys used their high tech night vision goggles that Tim had whipped up and saw that it was none other than Batman. Selina had been sneaking out… to see Batman?!
There was a scuffle inside. Selina was being chased. They had to do something!
Into the building they jumped, and before he could lay a single hand on her, Dick and Jason pounced.
“You stay away from her!” Dick declared.
“Boys?! What are you doing here?!” Selina cried.
“Boys?” Batman repeated.
“Leave her alone!” Added Damian, kicking Batman in the shin.
Selina quickly pulled them all aside. “I said, what are you doing here?!” She hissed.
“What are we doing here—what are YOU doing here!?” Dick hissed back. “What, do you know him or something?!”
“You promised you wouldn’t go out again!” Said Jason.
“I know, I know—”
“It’s really him… it’s Batman!” Tim was having a little geek-out session, completely separate from the rest of the conversation.
“—But he’s not going to arrest me.”
“How do you know?” Dick pressed.
There was an awkward pause, during which time Selina blushed.
“Oh. My. Gosh—forget I asked!” He cringed, closing his eyes and trying not to picture it.
“What? What does that… oh… oh no! No! Are you serious?!” Jason was cringing now too. “Him?! How long has this been going on for?!”
“He’s gotta tell me how his grappling hooks work,” Tim was still going on, eyeing him.
“What are you all talking about?!” Damian demanded to know.
“This is not how I had pictured this night going,” said Selina with a sigh.
Batman cleared his throat uncomfortably. “I suppose… they’re all yours?”
“You better believe we are,” Dick growled. “I’m Blackclaw, that’s Shadowfang, Nightstalker, and Screecher. Anything happens to her, you mess with us. Got it?”
Batman remained unfazed. “Got it.”
“Boys,” said Selina suddenly, and she grabbed them and pulled them away. “This is none of your business—I want you to go home, now.”
“Mom, how could you pick him?! Out of everyone in Gotham!” Jason cried.
“I think he’s cool,” said Tim.
“Home! Now!” She ordered. “We’ll talk about this in the morning.”
The boys huffed away, eyeing Batman for as long as they could. When the adults were finally alone, Selina tried to apologise.
“They mean well,” she said quickly, “but they worry about me. Especially D—Blackclaw.”
“I didn’t know you were married,” said Batman quietly.
“I wasn’t. They sort of… fell into my life.” She smiled as she recalled it. “They’re good boys… I’m sorry. I probably should have told you sooner.”
“It’s alright… I… haven’t been completely honest either…”
“Hm?”
* * *
Dick was pacing when Selina got back, just before sunrise. Damian was asleep, but the rest of them were sitting on the couch, waiting up for their mother.
“So when were you going to tell us?” Was the first thing Dick said when he saw her.
“I wasn’t sure I needed to,” she replied coldly.
“Didn’t need to?” He repeated, disbelievingly.
“I didn’t think it would last as long as it has…”
“And how long is that?”
Selina frowned. “Two months… not that it’s any of your business.”
“None of our business?”
“He could have arrested you,” Jason said, standing up. “Or worse.”
“I’m fully aware of that,” she bit out. Then she started fingering the counter she was standing next to. “But Batman’s… not what I thought he would be. He’s… different.”
“You mean you like him?” Tim’s eyes were wide.
“Wow, way to keep up with the conversation, T,” Jason snarked.
Dick fell into one of the armchairs in the living room and crossed his arms. He was scowling hard at the floor.
“Dickie, there have been… people… in the past,” Selina started slowly.
“No there haven’t. Not really. You always said, ‘play it close to the chest. Don’t let anyone ruin a good thing you’ve got going on.’ He’s. A. Superhero. That’s basically a cop! Sooner or later, he’s got to arrest you, and then he’ll come after us! Don’t you care about us?!”
“Of course I do!” She yelled, her throat feeling tight. “You boys mean more to me than anything… but… can’t you let me have this? This is something that I want… it… might even be something I want for you, too.”
All the boys stared at her.
“You’re not serious…” said Jason.
“You mean, like… like a step-dad?” Tim asked.
“I don’t know…” Selina said with a sigh. “It… might end up being nothing… but…” she looked at Dick who was still frowning, “…wouldn’t it be nice if you did… finally have a father… figure?”
Dick looked away. It had been something he’d mentioned once or twice before… he just never thought it would be someone like Batman. He didn’t even know that much about him besides what Tim had been able to find out online, but it all sounded bad. He was a ruthless, well trained, goody-two-shoes, which meant that he was a threat to their entire operation… and to Selina.
“I think… you’re letting your feelings cloud your judgment,” he finally said.
Selina’s expression hardened. “My feelings are just fine, thank you, Richard.” Then she took a breath. “Look… you’re eighteen now… you don’t have to accept him into your life… but don’t start making decisions for mine. I’m going to see him again. Nothing you say or do will change that. Now, I’m going to get a few hours of sleep. Goodnight.”
Well, that ended roughly.
For the next few days, no one could think about anything else. Especially Dick. He started contemplating moving out… but he couldn’t just leave Selina alone. What if that Batman guy did hurt her? Instead, he and his brothers continued to spy on her whenever they discovered that she had snuck out. It was hard watching the two of them together… Selina and Batman… but at least this way, Dick felt like he was doing something about it.
On the second night they followed them, however…
They were up on a rooftop, watching Selina and Batman a few buildings over.
“Are they done yet?” Tim was asking, burying his head into his computer.
Dick grimaced. “Not yet.”
Jason had his hand over Damian’s eyes. “Seriously. Gross.”
“What does she even see in him?” Dick grumbled. “What’s so great about a guy who wears his underwear on the outside of his uniform? And seriously? BATman? What kind of a name is that? Bats are lame.”
“Hey! You throwing shade at our dad?”
The cat boys turned around, fists at the ready, and came face to face with four masked vigilantes, all of them sporting capes and bat ears like Batman’s. They were glaring hard, arms crossed or cocked on their hips. The purple one—the one with blonde hair—had been the one to speak.
“Well? You got a problem with bats?” She continued.
Dick narrowed his eyes. “Wait… are you…?”
At the same time, the oldest one—with the long ginger hair and the red and black bat suit—also started squinting. “Don’t tell me you’re…”
“BATMAN’S DAUGHTERS?!”
“CATWOMAN’S SONS?!”
“They’re related?!” Tim cried. “But people online—the video tapes—I thought they were just partners!”
“What are you doing here?” Said the red one in a bossy tone.
“None of your business,” said Dick, rising to meet her.
“Batman’s our dad, so that makes it our business.”
“Oh yeah? Well Catwoman’s our mom, so I guess it’s our business too.”
“Yeah!” Damian puffed out his chest, trying to look tough.
“And just what are YOU doing here?” Jason asked, pointing a finger at them. “Planning an ambush? Are you gonna throw our mom in jail?!”
“I would if I could,” the red one snapped. “And my name is Batgirl.”
“So why don’t you, Batgirl? Throw her in jail, I mean,” said Dick threateningly.
She scrunched up her face and sighed.
“‘Cause, for whatever weird reason, our dad has the hots for your mom,” said the purple one. “Don’t ask me why.”
“Please don’t ever repeat that sentence,” Jason shivered.
“Agreed,” said the yellow one, crossing her arms.
“So you’re here… spying on Catwoman?” The black one guessed.
“We’re making sure Batman doesn’t hurt her,” said Dick.
“Well, we’re making sure that Catwoman doesn’t hurt him,” said the yellow one.
There was a moment when they all made eye contact and something started clicking in their brains.
“You don’t want them together either?” Dick asked.
“Heck no!” Batgirl cried. “A superhero and a supervillain?! What’s up with that?!”
“Exactly!”
“Plus it’s like, suuuuuuuper gross!” Said the purple one, shivering.
“That’s what I said!” Jason exclaimed.
“I mean, I think Batman’s pretty cool…” Tim mumbled, at the same time that the black one muttered,
“Catwoman doesn’t seem all that bad to me, but whatever…”
“This is really weird,” was all Damian had to say.
“By the way, this is Orphan—” Batgirl explained, pointing to the girl in black, “—Spoiler—” the girl in purple, “—and Nightlight,” the girl in yellow.
“Pleasure,” said Dick in a dry tone. “Our code names are top secret.”
“Blackclaw, Shadowfang, Nightstalker, and Screecher. We read your files,” said Batgirl matter-of-fact-like.
“We have files?!” Tim sounded way too excited about that.
“So…” Batgirl began.
“So?” Dick asked.
“Where does this leave us? The enemy of my enemy?”
Dick puckered his lips in thought. “What are you implying?”
“I’m implying… that none of us wants our parents to be together. Especially since…”
Dick had the horrible realisation. “Yeah, no thanks. We really don’t need any more siblings.”
“I agree. Which is why I propose we—”
“Work together? To split them up? Really? Isn’t that kind of… I don’t know… cliche?” Jason asked.
“Do you want your mom to hook up with our dad or not?” Nightlight asked.
Again, Dick thought about it. He really didn’t… but to work with known superheroes? It just didn’t sit right with him. They could double cross them at any turn or—
“Ahem.”
“What’s going on here?”
Everyone jumped back, trying to act innocent as Batman and Catwoman stepped onto the roof.
“Girls!” Batman barked.
“Boys!” Catwoman snapped.
“They were here first!” Said Batgirl.
“Liar!” Dick shouted.
“All of you,” Selina grumbled, coming over and pulling them aside for the second time. “I cannot believe you.”
“We just wanted to make sure you were safe,” Tim said innocently.
“And I appreciate that,” she said in a soft tone which vanished the moment she looked back up at Jason and Dick. “But you have no right to spy on me when I’m trying to have some alone time!”
“Didn’t look so alone to me,” Dick muttered under his breath.
“Dick!” She blurted without thinking. He scowled and crossed his arms even harder.
At that same time, a very similar conversation was unfolding on the other side of the rooftop.
“You lied to us!” Spoiler declared, pointing a shameful finger at Batman. “You said you were going out on patrol!”
“I was,” he frowned at her. “And you broke the rules. No going out by yourselves. You’re grounded.”
“What?!” They all cried. “You can’t be serious!”
“Oh, yes I can. One month serious.”
“Oh, come on!”
“I told you this was a bad idea!” Orphan shot at her sisters.
“Yeah, because you know everything,” Nightlight shot back.
“Everyone stop—I don’t want to hear another word until we’re back at the manor, understood?” He waited for them to answer. “Is that understood?”
“Well how can we answer? You said we couldn’t say another word,” said Spoiler with a grin.
“Don’t push it.”
“Yes, Batman,” they eventually sighed, some of them rolling their eyes under their masks.
The whole debacle was eventually untangled, and Batman and Catwoman parted ways for the night, towing their miffed children behind them. It had been an uncomfortable night, but it wouldn’t be their last.
In fact, that was the start of a whole new adventure.