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Steve’s sitting tied to a chair in an unknown Hydra base, if this was any normal scenario he’d break the chains and leave. But right now he’s staring down the barrel of a gun his best friend has trained on him.
“Bucky—“
The Hydra commander standing ominously in the corner barked an order in Russian and promptly left the room. Bucky’s eyes stayed trained on him.
He cocked his gun back.
“Choose your last words wisely.”
Steve stared into those sea blue eyes he’s grown to know so well, the pained and fogged look to them not lost on him. He thought back to his days in Brooklyn when they were just two stupid kids getting into trouble. When Bucky had to drag his ass out of dumpster alleys because he heard something bigoted and refused to let it go even if the guy was three times his size, he thought back to the countless nights they spent together because Bucky didn’t want Steve to be alone and Steve just wanted to be with him. He thought back to every time he got lost in the same blue eyes that were staring back at him now. The same eyes that had brought him so much warmth were so cold now. Steve opened his mouth to speak, struggling to think. There’s so much he could say. “You were my best friend.” “I know you.” “This isn’t you.” “Please don’t.” “Goodbye.” “I’ll miss you.”
He says none of it.
Instead, he looks up at Bucky, fondly remembering the life they almost had. The house he almost moved into, the memories they could’ve shared, the late-night dinners, the dates he wouldn’t have had to cover up by bringing girls, the bed they shared in the war to ‘keep each other warm’. They could’ve had so much.
Steve could’ve said nothing, he could’ve spent his last few moments tripping over his tongue and letting Bucky pull the trigger. He could’ve swallowed down his feelings and gave up. But Sarah Rogers didn’t raise a quitter.
“I love you.”
Steve saw Bucky falter, a flash of familiarity in his eyes before they went blank again.
“What?”
Steve gave a small smile. “I love you.” He repeated sincerely. “I love you, Buck. I wish I told you sooner.”
“That’s not my name.”
Steve chuckled. “No, I guess it’s not. Not legally, at least. But to me, you were Bucky.”
James paused, he should have shot Steve already but his finger was frozen on the gun. He clicked on the safety and hesitantly lowered the gun. Steve let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in.
“I thought you were dead,” Steve admitted. “They told me you died– I saw you die.”
“I’m not him.”
“But you’re you. I love you, every version of you, Buck. After you fell…” He chuckled out of nervousness. “I crashed a Quinjet into the Ice.”
Bucky’s eyes had a flash of fear.
“I remember thinking that if you weren’t in the world… well, I didn’t want to be in it either.”
“What about the girl?”
“What girl?”
“You… loved… her, no?”
Steve smiled a little, if Buck could remember anything that was a win for him. But the way he said ‘loved’. Like he wasn’t familiar with the word anymore.
“Peggy?”
Bucky gave a small nod.
“Peg was beautiful, Buck. She was great, but… she wasn’t you.”
Steve could hear the screamed Russian orders in Bucky’s comm with his heightened hearing. But before he had a chance to worry about them Bucky took out the earpiece and smashed it under his boot.
—
There were Hydra agents at the door within seconds. Steve broke out of his restraints and punched everyone that got close to Bucky while he covered Steve’s six with the gun he almost ended his life with. Funny how they can fall back into this so easily as if they’ve never stopped.
Bucky led the way to the garage, Steve got his shield back when he ran into some Hydra commander’s office who had it on their back wall like a plaque. Bucky has earplugs in now, not just for the sound of his gun shooting off or the broken-off sobbed pleas but for everyone screaming trigger words at him. Steve doesn’t have it in him to take a life so carelessly, he has who he wants there’s no need to kill unless he absolutely has to. Bucky’s a lot more trigger-happy, leaving bodies in his wake. Steve can’t help but wince at all the carnage. He dreamed of a future with this man more than once but every time they got anywhere near that happy lifestyle something would tear them away from each other. The war, Hydra, Peggy, Hydra, seventy years of ice. Steve started thinking what he wanted only existed in movies and sitcoms until he woke up in the twentieth century. People don’t hide here, same sex couples exist and while they’re still discriminated against they’re much more accepted. Then he found Bucky again.
He won’t let this man slip through his fingers again. He can’t.
—
Bucky closes the garage door when they run through and breaks the mechanism so no one else can get through.
They steal a Quinjet, Steve has become much more accustomed to them and, knowing Buck’s alive, will probably go against crashing this one. He figures he shouldn’t press his luck, not when his best friend and love of his life is in the passenger seat. Steve had pinned in the coordinates for SHIELD, but Bucky stayed mostly silent. Steve glanced over and broke the silence.
“Are you alright, bud?”
Bucky didn’t respond for a second before giving a small nod. “Just… remembering.”
Steve gave a solemn nod back. “Do you wanna talk about it?”
Again he gave a long pause before replying. “I don’t know.”
Steve looked back to the skies. “I missed you, y’know.”
“You missed him.” Bucky corrects.
“You are him.”
“I’m the Winter Soldier.”
“Were,” Steve counters. “You were the Winter Soldier. We just left Hydra and they’re not getting you back.”
“They’ll try.”
“Over my dead body.”
“They can arrange that.”
Steve huffed out a laugh. “I’m not giving you up. I didn’t then I won’t now.”
The rest of the plane ride was uncomfortably silent.
—
When they got to SHIELD everyone was crowding around the infamous assassin.
Murmurs followed them as they walked through everyone. It was supposed to be a quick in and out, then they go to Steve’s apartment and live a happy life. Except it wasn’t going to happen like that and Steve knew it.
SHIELD guards stopped Bucky on the way in and made him give up all his weapons, it was for the better that he did not have them. But Steve drew the line at the handcuffs, moving Bucky behind him and shielding him with his body. Bucky could handle himself, but right now Steve doesn’t care.
When the guards back down after contemplating if they really want to fight the good Captain over his long-lost best friend, Steve takes Bucky’s hand and leads him further into the compound.
The two of them came across dual doors, Steve wasn’t sure if he wanted Buck in the room with him while he spoke with Fury or not.
He opted for the latter.
—
“You brought a criminal into my organization!?” Fury yelled at Steve after he explained what happened.
“Nick-”
“That’s ‘Fury’ to you.” Nickolas interrupted. “How did you even get captured, Rogers?”
“Well…”
“It was Barnes, wasn’t it?”
Steve nodded, looking out the window instead of facing Fury.
“Goddamn it.”
“I’m sorry, Alright? I was expecting some stupid Nazi, not my best friend brainwashed!”
“You confessed your love to him in a Hydra base!”
“I panicked!”
“This ain’t no Disney “love at first sight” bullshit!”
Steve sighed, he knew he had done something stupid, when did he not? “Look, Fury, I just want somewhere to lay low, alright?”
“Stay at Stark’s tower for all I care. Just get the merc out of my workplace.”
“Fine.”
—
Steve brought Bucky to his apartment, a small place in Brooklyn that's just large enough to work for him. Buck is left to explore the space while Steve goes to go buy groceries. His fridge was empty and the only thing he had in the pantry was pop tarts. The Bucky he knew would have dragged his ass to the store to buy every ingredient known to man just to cook him dinners and save it in his fridge for later. Lord knows he would’ve burned his house down with boiling water if it wasn’t for that man.
He’s gotten better at cooking, at least.
—
When he got back to the apartment Buck was gently holding a picture frame in his hands, a picture of them from a past that seemed to be more of a story tale than real life. Steve walked over to the kitchen and started cooking pasta, using up two pouches of spaghetti to feed two super soldiers. Putting it on the table he could tell James wasn’t sure what to do with proper food. Steve’s heart went out to him, he couldn’t imagine how badly Hydra treated him.
They ate in silence, Bucky shyly asked for seconds and Steve was more than happy to provide him with another plate.
When they finished dinner Steve got up to wash the dishes, Bucky helped by cleaning off the table.
“Do you want to watch a movie?” Steve asked, wanting to make the most of having Bucky here with him.
“A movie?”
“Yeah, the moving pictures. Remember? It was the biggest thing when they got sound but now they’re all like that.”
Bucky nodded a little. “Sure, I’ll watch one.”
Steve returned the slight nod, smiling like an idiot. “I’ll pop the popcorn.”
—
They put on some cheesy Hallmark movie and put a giant bowl of popcorn between the two of them. Steve’s couch was small since all his friends were normal-sized in comparison to a super soldier –except Thor but he never came over to Steve’s place– so they had to sit pretty close together but Steve wasn’t complaining and Buck didn’t seem to mind.
Halfway through the movie, James went limp and gently fell onto Steve, his head on his chest. Steve’s smile softened at his sleeping best friend. He turned off the movie and slowly inched his way off the couch to let him sleep while he went to his own bed, planting a kiss on the sleeping man’s forehead.
—
The next morning Steve awoke to a familiar weight on his chest and warmth by his side, when he opened his eyes he saw Bucky cuddling up to his side. Steve just hugged him back and fell back into his sleep. Mumbling a soft “Love you” to the Soldier in his bed. To his surprise, he got a lazy “Love you too, idiot.”
Steve couldn’t help but chuckle. “Remember me so soon?”
Buck grunted. “You're difficult to forget.”
Steve kissed Bucky’s forehead the same way he did last night. James looked up at him and flicked his forehead. “Ow!”
“That’s for almost letting me kill you.”
Steve rubbed at his forehead, too distracted by the pain to notice Bucky leaning in and pecking his cheek. His face went red while Bucky just nuzzled himself back into Steve’s chest as if nothing happened.
“That’s for not giving up on me.”
“Till the end of the line, pal.”
“Sap.”
Steve chuckled and just pulled Bucky closer to him. Falling back into a peaceful sleep.