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Peggy clenched the white sink with both hands as she stared at the tears silently streaming down her face. It had been a minor miracle that she made it to the lavatory before they began to fall, and part of her brain mentally berated herself for allowing the loss of her cool composure in the office. The other part of her brain screamed back at the first part and told it to shut the bloody hell up.
The ring.
*The ring.*
Daniel had a *ring.*
And it wasn’t for her.
She was blind-sided. It was like walking down an empty alley and having a fist emerge from around a brick corner to hit her squarely in the face. She was dazed, unsteady, and in pain. But this time, unlike the real-life times in which she had taken an actual fist to her face, her chest inexplicable also ached.
She…
She just…
*Didn’t understand.*
After they closed the Stark matter, Daniel asked her to go for drinks. She had a prior engagement -- the rather important task of moving house after she was evicted from the Griffith – and she certainly didn’t expect that it would be her – their – only chance. But, in the days that followed, no further invitations had been forthcoming, and, the next thing she knew, she and all the other agents in the New York office were called into the conference room to congratulate Daniel on his promotion to Chief.
Of the LA office.
On the other side of the country.
As she stood there at the lavatory mirror, white-knuckled and staring at the watery tracks of her tears streaking down her no-longer perfect make-up, the memories of Daniel’s final days in New York came flooding back…
How the announcement that he was transferring to the Los Angeles office felt like one of the worst kicks to the stomach that she’s ever experienced.
How, from that moment onward, Daniel barely looked at her.
How, at their goodbye, he responded to her warm words of congratulations and encouragement with a brief handshake and an aloof, distracted, “It was nice working with you.”
How he hadn’t returned any of her calls.
After Jack told her that Daniel had asked for her in LA, she rationalized all that oddness away with an elaborate backstory that she easily convinced herself made perfect sense. It was all so obvious, wasn’t it? Daniel had been offered the promotion – which he would have been a fool to reject -- before he could extend another drinks invitation. Naturally, he couldn’t tell anyone about the promotion before it was announced, he felt awful about the timing, and, being the eternally thoughtful and sensitive man that he is, he didn’t want to risk sabotaging their nascent relationship by spending its early stages at long-distance; therefore, he opted to wait until he was settled in Los Angeles and could request for her to be sent out to assist him. They would then be reunited, during the day, as an exceptional team of agents, and, during the evening, as a new couple with the ability to begin and nurture a personal relationship amidst the warm, relaxed atmosphere of Southern California. Later, if they were both happy with the way things were progressing, he could arrange for her permanent transfer.
With this completely *obvious* explanation in mind, Peggy packed her carefully selected clothing and began the journey towards Los Angeles and her future, not sure when (or even “if”) she would ever return to New York.
Although the flight – or rather, flights – took an absolute eternity, her book remained mostly closed on her tray as she spent the bulk of time daydreaming in a way that she hadn’t done in over a year (and, if she was being completely honest, in a way that she hadn’t done since the otherwise unbearable weekly Sunday religious services at school). She was so eager to see him again. What would his hair look like? Would he still have it gelled down? Would he still be wearing sweater vests in the Los Angeles heat?
She imagined his face breaking into a wide and happy smile when he saw her walk into the room, and she remembered the light that lit his face when he looked at her.
And then… when she saw him, would she be the gushing schoolgirl that she felt like in the current moment, and would her heart beat out of her chest like something in a cartoon?
Would the other agents be able to tell?
During the case, they would spend late evenings together in the conference room, reviewing evidence over shared take-out. When the case was solved (finally!), he would take her out for their first proper date… maybe dinner at a nice ocean-side restaurant, after which they’d take a leisurely, romantic stroll along the beach. She’d catch a chill in the windy beach air, and he’d give her his jacket, which she would then need to stealth-ly return to him the next day without any of the other agents noticing. Then, they’d sit together in his office and laugh while they created an ever-evolving list of reasons he could use to tell Thompson regarding why he couldn’t send her back to New York yet.
Their dates would be lovely. And fun. Were there jazz clubs in Los Angeles like in New York? Did he like jazz? Was there a baseball team? Would he take her to a game and explain the rules to her?
Dinner with the Jarvises.
Would she have to inform the Jarvises and Howard that they were dating, or would they just know?
Howard completely embarrassing her when he found out.
Their first kiss.
Their first…
Peggy blushed. Would he be nervous about her seeing his leg?
The difficulty he had with it would make it even more special when he went down on one knee and…
At the memory of that thought, Peggy dropped her head and whispered venomously to the empty lavatory, “Dear lord, you are such a bloody fool,” before punching the ceramic sink in a way that caused the jostled pipes to echo throughout the tiled room.
It wasn’t every day that the future of which she dared to dream evaporated in a mere instant.
Or, rather… yes, it was.
In fact, that was all that ever happened to her future dreams.
With that, Peggy turned, walked into a stall, closed the door, and began to cry.