Work Text:
Dear Uzui,
I hope this finds you in good health. I must confess that as of late, I have been ill, though not of the physical kind. My heart and mind ache of thoughts, feelings too grand for even myself. I thought of you last night. You did not need to make a home of my mind like you did. You do not need to rest in my heart as you do. I thought of you, and my heart ached something terrible. But of course, it is in your nature to elicit such a dramatic response, and cause me to write such dramatic words. I thought of you, and what you said to me the night before I departed. How foolish I was, to take your easy smile and caressing hands and cradle them to my chest. You held me, and I felt whole, like heaven and earth had finally met just for that moment to be embedded in my being. I wish for more of those moments. You should not have allowed me to lie beside you. I feel lonely now.
Do you remember the headpiece you gave me? When I first invited you to watch kabuki, you gifted it to me. I was not then aware of why, or the effect it would have. I must admit I'm still unsure of how to wear it; it's meant for women, no? But it is something that I carry with me at all times. I hold it on nights when you are unable to hold me yourself. We are both foolish. Now, I want no other kiss I should not write about these things. It is unprofessional, between colleagues. But I suppose I am selfish, to want this one thing for myself. The ache you give me is a pleasant one, one I wish to never be rid of. If I see you again, speak to you, or even just witness you, I know the ache will grow. And if it means I can catch your hand, or hold an arm around your waist, then I will allow this ache to overtake me. The other day, before the night you held me, body and soul, you let me try some of your okayu from the same spoon, and the taste still lingers in my mouth. The taste of you the thought of you lingers in my mind, always. When I fight, I imagine you fighting beside me, with all your brilliance and stunning swordsmanship, and it quells any doubts I might harbor. For I know if you are there, in spirit and body, then I can not lose. You would not allow it, and you fight so fiercely I find myself infatuated. Do you hear me admiring? Does it sound as fierce as I feel? Can you hear me believe that you were simply created to be admired, that no one could possibly-- You motivate me. You push me to be better, because you have endured so much pain, and yet you still fight so elegantly. Your explosions match your personality, as my flame breathing reflects the burning of my soul. You are a powerful and devastating force, one that can not be stopped nor avoided. You exploded into my life, and I am left to face the damage. Your explosions are grace, and a protection so fierce I fear you may one day forget what it means to rest.
Dear friend, try as I might, you could not possibly know what you mean to me. I press my hands to my sides and lips, as a mock recreation of what I pray to not be a cruel joke. I long for the day I can see you again. I watch you shower your wives with affections, and feel a guilty stab of jealousy deep in my heart. I want to hold you in the sun. I want to kiss you and tell you of things hold your arm in mine. If I am jealous of those you hold most dear, what does that make of me? Do not answer. I'm not sure what I would do with it. But tell your wives hello for me, would you? And to stay safe. I miss them greatly as well. On cold nights I crave Hinatsurus warm meals, and Sumas theatrics are missed when I feel drab. Makio has made an offer of training together, and I still plan on taking her up on it, once this mission is done.
This will be my last correspondence for an undiscerned amount of time; my mission will take me on a train, can you believe it? I have traveled by railroad once before, and I can not imagine a demon willingly inhabiting one. But supposedly, there's one claiming passengers as victims, and I must put an end to these heinous crimes. One more odd fact: young Kamado will be accompanying me! Perhaps when this is done, we can go for lunch. After all, you promised me miso for my birthday.
I am hungry. I will make quick work of this mission.
With my heart,
Rengoku Kyojuro
Rengoku, dearest
You were beautiful, and brilliant.
You wrote of me making a home of your heart, and now I fear you will take mine to the grave.
I love you.
Rest well, beloved,
Uzui Tengen