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Methodical Means

Summary:

Eris falls for the stupidest trap of his life and, of all people, Elain Archeron is the one to have sprung it.

Notes:

It's slow season and I need a pick me up. Back to writing I go. Hello, ACOTAR fandom. Please be kind.

Work Text:

The broadly spoken of appeal regarding Elain Archeron was something that baffled Eris Vanserra entirely.

All throughout the realm people whispered of the unmatched beauty of the sister of the Curesebreaker. Her inherent grace and quiet nature; her soft smile and lovely gardens. Absolutely nothing of interest or substance. Not a single murmur of skill, power, or backbone. A doll living in her sister’s playhouse.

Between the talk of the beautiful female who minded her manners was a whisper of a bizarre mating bond. Chosen by the cauldron and coveted throughout Prythian, the mating bond was a rare, precious thing. Particularly when it involved one Lucien Vanserra: the youngest son of Autumn and a renowned political player in multiple courts. Many said it added a level of intrigue to an otherwise dull, yet undeniably gorgeous female.

To Eris, it added an extra layer of flaw. Not only was she good for nothing beyond what a bouquet of flowers or a particularly ornate tablecloth could accomplish, but she was undeniably, inarguably stupid.

While his youngest brother had no shortage of flaws (Eris kept a detailed log of bad behavior that spanned centuries) Lucien was a good male. Infuriatingly noble, irritatingly loyal, and his heart seemed to bleed on every surface he encountered. Lucien had all the cleverness of Autumn with a sense of compassion that could have only come from their mother. Even with their turbulent relationship it infuriated Eris to see his brother swallow the silence from his supposed mate. Watching Rhysand and his fucking bats dangle Elain in front of Lucien to keep him under his ego-centric thumb was enraging.

Which was why when Eris winnowed into the hidden canopies of Spring to meet Lucien in secret for an urgent matter only to see none other than Elain Archeron blinking her meek fawn eyes at him from underneath the hood of a cloak, he opened his sharp mouth and spat, “What is this?”

Elain straightened her shoulders in surprise. Her long, dark blonde hair was braided in a crown clearly inspired from her sister. Either an attempt at softening him up by reminding him of the sister he proposed to or a clumsy attempt at copying Nesta to emulate her older sister’s strength.

Eris could not decide which was more pathetic.

 “I needed to speak to you. It’s urgent.” The middle Archeron sister spoke quietly, as if the words were something she had practiced speaking before this.

“I came here to speak to Lucien, not his sorry excuse for a mate.” Eris glared at her shrinking stance. What fuckery was afoot from the Night Court now? He readied the dagger tucked in his sleeve just in case.

“It’s about Lucien. I need your help.”

“What possible situation would Lucien need any aid in that you could attempt to provide, little sister?”

The barb rolled off her in silence. She did not rise to the bait. Silently, Elain frowned and reached into her cloak pocket to pull out a sealed letter. “I need you to give this to the Lady of Autumn.”

“My mother?” Eris scoffed, his blood searing with anger that this stupid female dared to speak of her.

“Yes.” Elain nodded primly, her lips in a tight line. “I’m sorry for tricking you into coming here, I-”

“There was no trickery.” Eris scoffed, waving his hand dismissively in the air. He would rather be boiled alive in the Cauldron than admit that Little Miss Witless had successfully lured the heir to Autumn under false pretenses. How did she get access to Lucien’s official stationery to write the invitation? Or mimic his handwriting with such precision?

Elain nodded diplomatically, her eyes looking at him patiently. Her eyes had always unsettled Eris deeply. They were far too doe-eyed for someone who likely had seen the time and place of his death. “Of course. I apologize for the insinuation, Lord Eris.”

The redheaded male rolled his eyes dramatically. She was so stiff. Truly why had the Cauldron saddled poor Lucien with such a dull male? Hadn’t he suffered enough throughout his life? “What is the nature of this ever-so important letter anyways? What could it possibly have to do with my mother?”

A dusting of blush coated the seer’s cheeks. She fidgeted her cloak in her hands slightly. “It is a personal matter.”

“Pft, ‘personal’ has no fucking weight in my court, little sister. Any correspondence from Rhys and his bat cave of a court will be personally read by myself.” Eris reached forward and yanked the letter from her small hands, earning him a sharp cry. Elain darted forward to take it back, but Eris simply opened his hand and shoved it right in her mousy face to push her back.

Elain grunted in shock unsurprisingly unfamiliar with any kind of fighting or physical violence. Her unsettling eyes shot open in indignation as she fisted her hands and spun towards him. “Do not read that you- you mean male!”

“A truly inspired retort.” Cauldron, how was this female supposed to be his brother’s equal with such a dull tongue? Elain once again leapt for the letter and Eris rolled his eyes. A wave of fire suddenly burned between the two causing Elain to stumble and fall to the ground.

Seeing her collapsed in a rosebush crying out from the thorns did make this encounter almost worth it. Served her right for being so cruel to his brother over the last two years. If Lucien was driven insane by the mating bond over this silly little creature Eris would personally take a hammer to the Cauldron and smash it.

“So dramatic.” Eris chastised as he ripped open the letter. His russet eyes quickly widened as he read. Eris blinked feeling entirely blindsided for the second time today. “You’re writing to my mother for… recipes?”

“I need to know exactly how to make them so they’re perfect, you prick!” Elain cried out. Her hands clenched and suddenly the roses seemed to retreat from their grip on her. What the fuck?

Eris barely had time to question Elain presumably controlling the flora before she stormed up to him, her meek face contorted in simmering rage as she pointed a finger at him. Her hair had come undone and bits of flowers were stuck in the loose curls. For the first time in centuries of political training, Eris Vanserra found himself struggling to keep his true feelings hidden. Taking Elain Archeron seriously may have been the only thing he could not convincingly fake. “What’s your game?”

The red on her face morphed from hot red to flushed pink. It reminded Eris of a child who tried to hold their breath too long. “I want to accept the mating bond with Lucien.”

“This involves writing to my mother for…”

“Her recipes. All of Lucien’s favorite foods are hers. I’ve created a menu for it and was writing to see if she would be kind enough to share her recipes with me so I can cook them for Lucien to eat.”

A tick of irritation left him. It was quickly replaced by shock. “You stole my brother’s- an official diplomat of Night- stationary, forged a letter for a secret meeting posing as Lucien, to give me a letter to give the wife of the High Lord of Autumn asking for her recipes?”

“Yes!” Elain nodded eagerly. “That’s exactly what I need. Will you please hand this to her on my behalf?”

Eris pinched the bridge of his nose. “Are you aware of how many court-wide laws you have just absolutely shit on?”

“Please. I’m asking for Lucien. I need this to be completely perfect for him. He’s been so kind and patient since we met and I…” She took a deep breath, her too-big eyes saddened. “I love him. Getting this right is so important.”

Ick. Eris feared a cavity after that admission. “Why would I help you?”

“It would be helping Lucien.”

“No, it would be helping you. Lucien hasn’t said a word to me about any of this. For all I know this parchment is charmed and will explode when I hand it to my mother.”

“What? You can’t possibly think that I-”

“You have not provided a shred of evidence for giving my brother the opportunity to so much as shake your damned hand. Forgive me if I side eye your alleged romance.”

“What will it take for you to deliver this?”

“I can assure you, little sister, there isn’t anything you could possibly offer that would hold any value to me.”

Elain’s eyes sharpened. She sat up straighter with determination. “I am a seer. I could tell you information.”

“I have an entire network of spies spanning multiple courts. If anyone knows any valuable information here, it certainly isn’t you.”

“I doubt that.” Elain looked at him unnervingly. “I could tell you about your mate.”

“Oh do grow up.” He rolled his eyes dramatically. After all the nonsense with their family and mating bonds, Eris Vanserra wanted no part of that fated horseshit.

 “The death of Lord Beron, then.”

“There’s nothing to learn. We both know I’ll be the one to sever his head from his neck.” After everything that happened to Lucien’s fiancée, nothing less would do.  

The seer let out a huff of frustration. “The pups in your upcoming litter, then.”

That gave him pause. “No, but you’re on a better track.”

Elain crossed her petite arms over her chest and scrunched her nose.  “I know you give this letter to your mother. I’ve seen it. Why don’t you just tell me what you want to know?”

“Why now?”

“What?”

Eris glared at the petite female in front of him, his disdain evident. “Since you’ve been made you’ve snubbed your prissy little nose up at my brother at every opportunity. You’ve whored yourself out to Rhysand’s bats with Lucien upstairs.” Her eyes shot open as he ranted, her face swallowed by shame. Eris pressed on. “Every year my idiot brother gives you a gift for solstice and every year not a single person in that house returns the gesture, especially you. Mating bonds drive males to madness yet you’ve been content to sit and sulk and bat your eyes in every other direction but my brother’s. Do you truly think you can trick me into whatever this little scheme of yours is? You truly are as pathetic as they say.”

Eris turned to winnow away. He took a step forward only to feel his foot tethered to the ground. A vine had penetrated the soil to wrap itself around his ankle, rooting him in place. When the fuck did her gardening get so advanced?

He lit the vine on fire with a wave only for ten more to sprout, further locking him where he stood. Oh, absolutely not. There was no way this porcelain doll of a female was going to snag a future high lord with the power of flowers.

Eris continued to extinguish the vines with flames, but they continued to explode from the ground. A bead of sweat formed on his brow. A very determined looking Elain Archeron padded forward towards him, her face stained with tears that continued to silently spill out. “I know everything you say is true. I was an absolute wretch to Lucien. That’s why everything needs to be perfect from me going forward. Let me show you.”

Elain lifted a delicate hand up towards Eris’s face contorted in horrific shock. She gently pressed two perfectly manicured fingers painted pink against his forehead. The world fell apart. Images exploded in the male’s mind of Lucien opening his apartment door for Elain and beaming, of afternoons in the garden with dirt smeared on their faces, of letters exchanged in secret. The seer dropped her fingers from his forehead and Eris blinked until all he saw were those unsettling doe eyes peering at him.

“I see the kitten has claws.” He ground out through his teeth. How the fuck did she do that? None of his sources had ever mentioned her doing anything beyond baking or cross-stitch.

“A lady must keep some things private.” Elain stated sweetly, smoothing out her cloak. “Will you give this letter to your mother now?”

Eris paused his inner reworking of his spying networks to remember why she had orchestrated this whole charade in the first place. “Yes. On one condition.”

“What?”

“Tell me- who else knows of your little flower powers?”

“Lucien.” Elain breathed quietly, a far off look in her eyes. “He’s been helping me the last year.”

“No one else? Not even one of your meddlesome sisters?”

“No.” She answered with a shake of her head. “They know I garden, but they don’t know that the plants listen to me.”

“Right.” What a deeply unsettling thing to hear with such casualty. “I will pass this along to my mother, then.”

“Thank you, Eris.”  Elain broke out into a large smile as she fell into a curtsey. She gathered herself back up and turned to walk away. “See you soon!”

Soon. As if the cursed creature didn’t know exactly the next time they would come in contact. Her nonchalance with her powers was deeply unsettling. Eris grimaced as he stared at the envelope in his hand. The idea of having Elain looming at Lucien’s side for eternity caused his stomach to churn with unease. He made a note to have a chat with his brother on avoiding Archeron sisters entirely.  

~ ~ ~

“Oh, that sweet, lovely girl.” The lady of Autumn cooed warmly through her red lips as she drank in the message on the parchment in front of her. She traced a delicate, pale finger over the paper as if it was infinitely precious.

Eris made no attempt to hide the downward curl of his lip as he read over her shoulder. Elain had kept her letter to his mother short and brown-nosing. Her attempts at flattery could have been detected by even a jester in a court. Yet his mother reread the letter with untold softness in her tired eyes. Joy danced in her warm eyes- the sight hauntingly unfamiliar to her son.

“This is wonderful.” She sighed, clasping her hands together as she closed her eyes. A large smile blossomed on her face and Eris wished more than anything else in the world that he could see his mother like this more often, even if the source of her mood was that unsettling Archeron girl. Why did every creature she encountered come away enchanted with her? The phantom feel of thorns on his ankle prickled his skin even now. There was something dangerous about that girl.

“She is not to be underestimated, Mother.”

“Underestimated?” The redheaded woman echoed. Her red brows furrowed. “Eris, this female is to be your sister. Be nice.”

Eris bristled at the order but remained silent.

“Lucien-” She began softly, her eyes still closed. Pain latched onto her voice as she continued. “All I have asked the mother for since your birth is that you all may find love. Lucien has suffered so, so much. To see him blessed with a mate this kind is so the most wonderful thing.”

His mother had always been a hopeless romantic. Given her violent relationship with his father, Eris had never understood it. Love was a stranger to the Autumn Court.

“I understand that, but the Archeron girl is odd. Dangerous. She trapped me in a vine to force me to deliver her letter.”

“Did she?” She whispered with a wicked gleam in her weary eyes. “What a brave little thing.”

“Brave?”

“Yes, my darling son. You have quite a name for yourself among the land. I’m sure given your encounters with both Feyre Cursebreaker and Lady Nesta Archeron that dear Elain is quite familiar with your reputation. She tricked you into a meeting and persuaded you to deliver her letter for the sake of Lucien. It’s all so achingly romantic.”

Eris peered over her shoulder at the letter. Deceptively delicate handwriting claimed his brother in the name of love to their mother. Elain’s flawless handwriting was peppered with praise and a sense of earnestness that Eris found sickening. Of course that little witch dotted her the I’s of her name with flowers. Anyone who encountered her would know that it was a clear, evident threat of her earth-fueled powers.

“She committed identity theft, threatened to foresee a political assassination, and ordered the land itself to imprison me, Mother. To ask you for recipes.”

“Still Lucien’s favorite, even after all these years.” His mother sighed happily. “I’m so pleased he’s told her about my cooking. I hear she herself is quite the baker. How thoughtful of her to arrange all this for Lucien. She said she wished it possible for me to attend their ceremony, you know.”

“Yes, yes. How ever so kind.”

“She truly is. The Mother above is so generous to gift me a daughter, especially one so lovely, and Lucien’s mate at that.” A far-off look clouded her honey-colored eyes.

“I hope to one day meet her face to face. Letters will have to do until then. You will deliver my correspondence, won’t you?”

“Of course.” The words came with no hesitation. He had never been able to deny his mother one of her rare requests. Even if it involved his brother’s chilling mate.

The smile he received in return made it all worth it. “Thank you, Eris. You’re a good son.” His mother rose up gently, her frail body energized with a rush of maternal pride. “I will send this immediately. By the Mother, I am blessed. Such a sweet, clever female for Lucien.”

Eris’s teeth physically ached as he ground his teeth to refrain from a comment. His mother was rarely happy and he was determined to continue her mood as long as possible. Still, even if Elain Archeron had fooled his normally perceptive mother, Eris was not so easily tricked. The middle Archeron girl was conniving- someone to keep an eye out for.

It was the closest thing to approval he would allow himself for her. What did people see in that unsettling little creature anyways?