Work Text:
It was a surprise visit.
'Hikaru' was in Tokyo, impatient for Yoshiki to leave his workplace and see him.
He worked so hard for this. He couldn't be more excited. But-
All he felt was his non existent heart sink into his stomach at the sight of Yoshiki, with a bunch of friends surrounding him, and a girl holding on his arm.
Yoshiki was laughing, he seemed to be happy with them.
When he reached where stood 'Hikaru', their eyes met, Yoshiki recognized him, but he didn't stop.
He kept laughing with his friends, walking past him.
He ignored him.
Never in his entire life as a human, did 'Hikaru' feel such an intense pain in his small chest, in his entire body, his heartbeat increased, his limbs felt numb, he was sweating, hyperventilating, only one thought was on his mind "I wanna die-"
☆
Eyes were open and all that faced them was a blurry ceiling, blurring from his tears. 'Hikaru' was crying.
It took him a second to realize what woke him from his nightmare was the phone buzzing by his side.
Yoshiki was calling.
'Hikaru' had to take a deep breath in then let all those negative thoughts out in a long sigh to finally pick up, getting worked up yet again the moment he heard Yoshiki's voice.
" 'Hikaru', hey, how are ya ?"
"F-fine, how about ya ?"
"What's with yer voice ? Are ya tired ?"
"No, was just sleeping ."
"So i woke you up ?"
" 't's okay, i'm not supposed to be sleeping at such an hour anyway ."
It was night time, 'Hikaru' has been asleep since the afternoon, he knew a sleepless night was coming.
"Guess what ?"
"Ya got new friends ? Or a girlfriend-" was what crossed 'Hikaru's mind thanks to his nightmare, but he kept those thoughts to himself, saying the second thing that came to his mind.
"Got a new job ?"
"How did ya know ???"
"I got it right ?!"
The two laughed, 'Hikaru' easing down a little, he chose not to overthink it, he should at least enjoy these few moments when he gets to hear his voice.
"What's it about ?"
"I'm working in a bakery ."
"So yar a baker now ???"
"I'm a beginner, i only make easy stuff like crepes, even those i mess them up .. but actually, while messing up one, they all seemed pleased with the final design and decided to add it to the menu, wanna see ?"
"Yeah, send ."
Still having their call, 'Hikaru' soon received a picture and he let out an eww the second he saw what a mess the decoration was, between the melted white cream and the chocolate syrup on top.
Yoshiki didn't feel offended at all by the reaction, if anything, he agreed.
"Right ??? It doesn't look appetizing ..."
"How come they liked it ?"
"They said it'll be popular during the Halloween season since it looks all spooky, i also had to name it ..."
"What name did ya give it ?"
"The ... mixed up crepe ..."
'Hikaru' needed a moment to process the name and finally understand what it was about.
"Now i get why the patterns kinda looked familiar ."
He laughed, because the decoration was so similar to his insides, he also didn't get offended, he felt happy, that even in his part time job, Yoshiki had him on his mind.
"I'm also living alone right now ..."
"How is it going ?"
"It feels lonely ..."
Silence followed. Both felt just as lonely and they knew the reason was because they weren't together.
Yoshiki had to gather all the courage to ask his next question, he felt embarrassed but still needed to bring up that topic.
"Did ya .. talk with yer family .. about coming to Tokyo ?"
"Mmmh ... mom was sad, she blames ya for wanting to take her son away from her, she hates ya now ."
"For real ???"
"No, just joking ."
Yoshiki sighed while 'Hikaru' chuckled, he needed to ease the tension, the image of Yoshiki with his Tokyo friends and girlfriend still running through his mind.
"She's sad though, especially about the family business ."
"So ... what are ya gonna do ?"
Yoshiki was afraid 'Hikaru' would change his mind, he really wanted to have him by his side.
"It may take more time, but i'll manage to convince her ."
A sigh of relief escaped from Yoshiki's lips, but 'Hikaru' didn't hear it, he still had those images playing over and over in front of his face, even when he laid on his back and shut his eyes.
"For ya also, to have an idea of what Tokyo is like and be sure about yer decision to move here, come with my family this weekend, they'll visit me and i'll take them to different places around here, Kaoru is excited about the Zoo ."
"Doesn't matter what Tokyo is like, all i care about is ya ."
'Hikaru' didn't think twice before he let out these words, only silence was his answer, he had to fix it, quickly sitting up and adding.
"I- i'll be coming with them ."
"Mmh ... will let them know ."
Yoshiki's heart was jumping in his chest, while 'Hikaru' wondered if he should ask the question stuck on his mind- but then he thought fuck it ! and said it anyway.
"How about ya ? Ya probably have .. new friends now .. bet ya even got yerself a girlfriend-"
There was no pulse, no heartbeat, no breathing, not like 'Hikaru' needed any of those, but he totally forgot how to function as a human in the few seconds he waited for Yoshiki's answer.
"I do have comrades at Uni and work colleagues but i wouldn't go as far as to call them friends, plus, how many times did i tell ya i can't get a girlfriend ?"
"Ya keep saying that yeah ."
'Hikaru' was laughing, in fact, he never felt himself relax as much as he did at that moment, part of him hated how his insecurities were showing.
Though, his relief withered away at Yoshiki's next line, replaced with joy and exaltation.
"The only one i care about is ya too, i miss you-"
After 'Hikaru's bold lines, Yoshiki was tempted to be honest as well, a wave of embarrassement coming right after that honesty, he quickly added to ease this too awkward situation.
"So make sure ya convince yer family ! I'll leave ya now- good night ."
He was about to end the call until he heard 'Hikaru' mutter on the other side of the line.
"Good night and- i miss ya too ..."
The call ended. Yoshiki was panicking, he never thought their relationship would develop so much thanks to the distance between them. Knowing what 'Hikaru' was, and what he wanted, he never had any hope, and resigned to the reality that 'Hikaru's love will never be the same as his.
While here was 'Hikaru', questioning what he was, and what he wanted. He thought all he was interested in was Yoshiki's soul but thanks to the distance between them, he realized that it had to be Yoshiki's soul, in Yoshiki's body.
He wanted both. 'Hikaru' wanted all of Yoshiki.