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Contrary to what her grades in school implied, Yuasa Keiko drowned in thoughts.
Sometimes she thought about how the first thing she saw and felt after snapping out of that brainwashing were her hands gripping Izumi’s neck.
It rarely had a chokehold on her mind, but…
Biofeedback. Your will to fight… will change you into the ultimate weapon.
Right as she nearly drifted off to sleep, it took up space better suited for precious memories. Come on, could she not indulge in how pretty Izumi was when she smiled in a way that wasn’t just putting up a front to hide her wariness? That alone made Keiko’s day ten times better, so how dare the past push it all away?
Keiko grabbed a pillow and tossed it across the room. It bounced off the wall and flopped onto the ground. In the dead silence of her room, the otherwise pathetic flop felt cathartic.
Yet that guy’s voice went against her own will and squatted in her brain anyway.
Okay, fine. As much as she itched to resort to force, Keiko knew how to play the long game of patience. That’s how she and Izumi even- no wait, that’s only half true, but the point still stood. The long game was something she was willing to play (until she wasn’t).
That best 2 of 3 was still up in the air. She entertained the idea of finishing it now that they were probably more evenly matched, but she was starting to like it remaining unfinished.
The fight only started when all she wanted was to avenge Reiko’s death at the hands of the girl who came back to haunt her, and then picked up again when she-
Biofeedback. Your will to fight will change you into the ultimate weapon.
That can’t count. It was her hands that nearly snapped Izumi’s neck off that day, but it was never her will. And even back then when she wanted nothing more than to protect her friends and the city they lived in, the person she thought was a killer wasn’t one at all.
Like Reiko, she was kind and got caught up in something too large for a teenager to deal with.
An Izumi in her mind looking down at the still water, a smile dissolving into a distant gaze as she said something Keiko couldn’t quite hear.
They’d be on the legendary pier again, tearing each other apart with fists and knives until either of them fell into a watery grave. The Ice Doll that haunted her from a few months ago would be where Keiko thought she was once more, and..
Maybe they should start a fight from scratch where the only stakes were bragging rights instead. Not a half bad idea, but if Izumi said no she’d back off about it. Wouldn’t be nearly as fun if she wasn’t into it after all.
Keiko got out of bed and walked over to the washroom and turned on the tap to splash cold water on her face. She then went back to her room, picked up the pillow by the wall, and hugged it as she laid back in bed.
Damn it, that voice still kept looping over and over ! The absolute audacity of it all only strengthened her will to punch it straight where it hurt most.
It shouldn’t only have been up to Izumi to take care of that alone. She should’ve been there alongside her, overpowering that guy with the power forced upon them. Then, as the fire and explosions destroyed any physical remnants of the building, she and Izumi would walk back out into the world with heads held high.
Prom night would’ve still been ruined, Saori would’ve still been hospitalized, but it would’ve felt just a slight bit more hopeful. More than anything though, the best version of events would’ve been where she, and by extension the SSG, were able to take care of that prom-wrecker biofeedback soldier so no one was hurt.
Swimming through what ifs really wasn’t going to change what did happen though.
Like every other time she had nearly fallen into near death experiences recently, Izumi caught her.
It wasn’t lost on Keiko that she’d done as much as she could, but she felt and knew she hadn’t done anywhere near what Izumi deserved in life. As much as she wanted to, Keiko couldn't erase the pain from the past three years of Izumi’s life no matter how hard she fought to make it so.
That’s that. She had to accept it. Didn’t she already learn this lesson when Reiko died? Drowning in the past like the icy hands that murdered her wouldn’t bring her warmth back.
Now Izumi and her were 18 and alive. The least she could do was try getting out of the water before it went from nourishing to killing.
As far as they all knew, that guy’s dead. The voice looping in her mind was his final will.
Yet even after repeating all that, the thoughts were never put to rest. Still, Keiko kept fighting on like she always had, even if a frustratingly long stalemate seemed more likely than a clear win.
None of them exactly pretend nothing happened, but it was easier to eagerly run back into a normal life. The past sank into the water like Izumi’s old pocket watch, and now there’s the present to replace it.
With that, the voice quieted down enough for her to drift off into a sleep full of more resurfaced thoughts.