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Chapter Text

"He purposely let me win!" James taunted, still in his sweaty attire as he walked in the Gryffindor common room. He threw himself on the next couch, not even seeming to care about the win anymore. Sirius sighed, flopping down next to him.

"We are in the finals, James. Who cares?"

"It's not a real win! Not if Regulus let me win! I want to be in the finals because we earned it, not because your stupid brother purposely slowed down while we were both reaching for the Snitch!" James complained, throwing his arms in the air. He groaned, rubbing his hands over his face. Sirius sighed.

"James, let's be real. Why would Regulus do something like that? It would be counterproductive for him. There's no outcome for him. His team would probably only hate him for it"

"Because he thinks this will resolve our-" James stopped mid-sentence, freezing in place too. He groaned again, drove a hand through his hair and jumped up from the couch.

"I have to talk to him" He clarified, nodding to himself.

"James, what is going on with you?" Sirius asked, though James was already heading towards the painting to get out.

"Sorry, I can't waste any time" He gave a short wave before disappearing through the painting. James hurried through the wall, not stopping for anybody that passed him on the way, gratulating him on the win. Usually he would pride himself over a win.

But this wasn't a fair win.

This was a false one.

He would have lost.

It shouldn't be like that.

James stopped in front of the common room of the Slytherins. Though he still had to wait until some Slytherin opened the door. When it did, he peeked inside to see Regulus talking to two boys, though he had a book placed in his lap, his hand in it to keep his page.

"Regulus Arcturus Black!" James called, crossing his arms over his chest. The boy stopped laughing with his roommates in order to look at him, frowning before replacing it with an unsure smile. After placing the bookmark between an open page, he closed the book before putting it on the armrest of the armchair.

"Yes, James?" Regulus asked, stopping in front of him. He did not know what to do in this situation — not knowing in what way this would turn and why James was here now. Perhaps they have had a little argument — a week ago. James wasn't mad then. James gave him the silent treatment, for a week, which was honestly way worse. Regulus had been trying to make up for it again but he wouldn't give in. No homework notes or cuddles apparently made up for it. He had apologized, five times, too. Regulus hoped that if James won, bringing the Gryffindor's to the finals, this would finally be forgotten.

James seemed to hate him more than in his first year though.

"You." James growled, uncrossing his arms, though only to thrust his pointy finger against Regulus' chest "You let me win! You purposely drew back, so that I would win, didn't you??" He snapped, each word another thrust against the wizard's chest. Regulus stared down at the finger against his chest before looking up at James, his look blank. He didn't want to get into this now. Regulus tried to walk around James but he was faster and grabbed his arm, so Regulus stopped and sighed.

"So what, if I did it?"

"You. let. me. win. Either I do it on my own or I don't. Simple as that. That was against my honor, you twat" James snapped, his fingers gripping onto the pale skin on his wrist. Usually, he would fuss over him, worrying about just the smallest kind of marks — because his skin was so soft and white and just perfect.

Gritting his teeth, Regulus’ eyes locked with James. Usually, he would let it slide. Just let James get mad, not fight back. Let James get his frustration out.

But not now.

Something in him wanted to fight too.

"You think I care about your stupid honor?" Regulus gritted out, trying to pull away from James, though the boy just held onto him tighter "I can do what I bloody want, James. And right now, I just wanted you to stop giving me the silent treatment, which worked, so, hah!, I win" James huffed frustrated — because he didn't know how to come back to that with words. So instead, he just started to walk away again. When Regulus grabbed his wrist and pulled him back to him, he couldn't help the glare as he tumbled towards the other wizards, who pushed him against the wall. With his manicured nails digging into James' olive skin, on his wrist and waist, Regulus kept him in place.

"You don't get to just walk away, James. Not now. Not after a whole week of acting like I don't even exist. Understand?"

"Don't you ever let me win — ever again, understood?" James snapped, though all Regulus could do was smirk, which irritated him even more as all he wanted to do was punch it off his stupid face — or kiss it off, that was a possibility too, though he wouldn't give in like that "What's with that smirk?"

"You're so easy to rile up" Regulus said, leaning closer to James. There used to be a time where he would back down from an angry James, but right now he couldn't care less. Maybe getting James angry enough would just get him to stop ignoring him "All because of your 'honor.' You're pathetic, Potter"

"Don't 'Potter' me, Black" James warned — because now it wasn't just some fun bickering but he was starting to actually get mad at the boy in front of him and he didn't want to be. He still loved Regulus after all but sometimes, and right now he was on a record, he was getting so much on his nerves that-

"Bloody hell you're infuriating" James grumbled before turning them around in order to be the one to press Regulus against the wall.

"And smug"

And perfect.

No.

He was not.

"And stubborn"

"And you're an idiot" Regulus snapped back, grabbing the fabric of James' shirt in his fists "I let you win in one of the things that you love more than me, and this is how you want to act?"

"Well, I don't want you to let me win. I don't want your help. I don't need help. I can do that on my own. How am I supposed to enjoy something when I didn't earn it?" James asked, pausing himself as he realized how ragged his voice sounded. Taking a deep breath, he tried to calm himself down.

"I didn't ask for you to draw back. Quidditch was the last place where this" He gestured to the both of them "was supposed to play a role. Why would you do this?" Regulus huffed at James' words, looking down at his fists. James was getting calmer again — which Regulus supposed was good. Though it was hard to look at James now, when he suddenly sounded calmer and softer.

"I... Maybe I wouldn't have needed to pull that stunt if you would have just stopped giving me the silent treatment! You've been ignoring me for a week, James, for God's sake. I just... wanted you to speak to me again" James paused at how soft Regulus' voice sounded as well, so vulnerable — so honest. With a huff, he drove a hand through his hair, still semi wet.

"I... Bloody hell, I'm not good at this, relationships and conflicts and all that bullshit. I didn't get that... it was that serious for you...? I'm sorry, Reggie" He said, seeing that it was just the wrong thing again from his boyfriend's reaction as a sarcastic laugh escaped Regulus' lips.

"You didn't think it would be that serious for me? That you completely ignore my existence?" Regulus snapped, his grip on his shirt getting stronger "What did you think? That I would just forget about it? Forget about you?"

"W-Well no. But I just- We bicker all the time and there was a lot going on with Quidditch and-" He paused again as he studied Regulus' face.

"And I just didn't think, again. I'm sorry, Regulus..." He said, all anger leaving his body with an exhale before he reached for the other again, his hand going to softly brush against Regulus' hand, ready for his to take, should he want to. The younger sighed, letting his anger melt away too. It was getting harder to act mad, especially now when James acted soft in front of him again. He wanted to get mad, to shout and yell but it was just so hard when James was acting so damn soft all of the sudden. He didn't say anything for a good hot minute until he looked up at James again, his voice a lot more vulnerable now.

"You really didn't think I would care you were ignoring me all week long?"

"I..." James sighed softly, stepping a bit closer in order to be in front of his boyfriend again. He gently took his chin in his hand in order to lift it up "I'm a stupid idiot, Regulus. I don't get all of that stuff. I'm sorry. Of course it doesn't leave you cold when I ignore you all week. I didn't mean to, not that long, really. Can we be nice to another again?" He paused before adding "Or better; can you forgive me?"

"You're going to have to work for my forgiveness, James" Regulus mumbled, a pout forming on his lips. At that, James couldn't help a soft grin as he leaned closer in order to whisper into Regulus' ear.

"Oh, I can think of many say how I can 'work' for your forgiveness" He whispered, breath hot against the other's skin before pulling away as he turned serious again, though he couldn't help ignoring the soft blush tinting Regulus' pale cheeks "That is, if you let me, Reggie"

"You're a menace, James"

"But your menace, right?" James asked, slightly pulling away again, though just enough in order to face Regulus, smiling innocently at the boy. Regulus rolled his eyes at the question, though he couldn't help the smile that appeared on his lips.

"You're my menace, James... Yes. Just don't ignore me again for that long, ever again. Got it?"

"As long as you don't ever let me win in Quidditch again" James said, shrugging nonchalantly as he stretched out his hand to the other boy. At the action, Regulus couldn't help smirking.

"Shake on it, Black?" He nodded, reaching for the hand.

"Shake on it, Potter"

"Amazing" James couldn't help the soft grin as he pulled away. He looked around the hallway for a moment to make sure that no one was looking before he quickly pecked Regulus on the cheek.

"We will see us later tonight?" He asked, already stepping away as he realized just how close they had been. Regulus still had a small smile on his lips as he nodded, suddenly feeling so light.

"Yeah, see you tonight" Regulus replied, and even though he wanted to hold on to the idiot for a minute longer, he let go of his hand. Nodding, James send him an unsure smile before he started to walk away, though he continued to look back every few steps to see if Regulus was still watching him. As he turned the corner in order to get to the stairs, he knew that the boy wouldn't be able to see him anymore and stopped looking back.

James didn't get far into the evening though before, suddenly, a very mad looking Sirius was standing in front of him. His chest was heaving and his face was red from anger, hands into fists before he grabbed James by the collar to drag him into the staircase to the boy's dormitory.

"Sirius, what-" James started as he got pulled away from the common room before being hardly pushed against the wall. His best friend positioned himself right in front of him, only letting go of his collar in order to cross his arms over his chest.

"I want to talk to you, right now!"

"What's... going on? What happened?" James asked, keeping his voice cool — because there could be all sorts of things that made Sirius lose his temper.

"What's going on??" Sirius repeated, his voice getting louder again. He ran a hand through his hair as he started pacing around the small area of the stairs case "What's going on, James??" He snapped, stopping in front of his best friend, looking up at him angrily "Don't lie to me, James. Snape told everyone"

"Everyone? About what?" James asked, now clearly confused. Sirius raised an eyebrow at James' expression, letting out a laugh.

"About you and Reggie, of course!" He yelled, crossing his arms again before starting to pace the area "He saw you and Reggie in the hallway, alone. Said that you were standing very close and... and... That you were doing... something. And then Snape said that you two- Well" He stopped himself for another huff.

"I was trying to figure out why he would let me win. I tell you, he drew back on purpose" James tried to explain — because it was the truth, partly. It wasn't the entire truth but he didn't lie to him either, at least now. That was the original reason on why he went over to the Slytherin's dormitory.

"He let you win? He just let you win and the two of you stayed in a hallway, alone, for that?" Sirius said with a huff, before pausing "And you expect me to believe that's all you did?"

"Well what am I supposed to be doing with Regulus, your little brother?" James asked, crossing his arms over his chest, though he knew that he was the one in the wrong here, not Sirius, who just happened to finally figure it all out.

"You are supposed to not do anything with him! He's my little brother, James! He's sixteen, he's-" Sirius cut himself off, running a hand through his hair in frustration "Bloody hell, is it true then??"

"W-Well, that depends on what 'it' means, really" James said, trying to be nonchalantly about it — because this might as well be the last conversation he would ever have with his best mate. He didn't think that he would have to talk to Sirius about this now — and all because of stupid Sniverus? He was going to curse him the next time he saw him, no matter how many house points he would lose for it.

"Don't give me that bullshit, James" Sirius snapped back angrily "Did you actually sleep with my little brother or not? Simple as that" Sirius' hands were balled to fists at his side, knuckles whitening with how tight he was gripping them. He knew the answer by now but a part of him still wished James would say 'no', because he really did not feel like punching the boy if he said yes.

"W-Well... if you're asking like that, then- then the answer will have to be yes, I guess. But we didn't plan this, I swear. It just happened and then-"

James saw the punch coming.

He had seen it coming when he first felt his heart skip a beat upon seeing Regulus walk into the room. He had seen it when his lips first touched against Regulus' soft ones. When his fingers discovered new bits of perfect skin to touch. When he thoroughly listened to the boy letting out soft moans for him. When he wished to drown in the boy's cologne or be forever lost in the color of his eyes.

He knew it every time.

He still didn't anticipate it and could only hold his hands up once Sirius' knuckles had already connected with his face, the area starting to throb immediately. They had fought before, but never for real, with full force. It was just playing around, a few pushes and shoves to get rid of energy while throwing insults at each other's heads. This time was different though, not only because they were both older and therefore more capable to actually hurt one another, but also because it was different from the reason they fought.

"Sirius, what the hell??" was all that James came up with, his side still throbbing as he tried to soothe it.

"Don't you 'Sirius, what the hell' me" Sirius snapped, stepping closer to James to shove his shoulder "Did you really sleep with Reggie?? Did you really??" He didn't give James the time to answer, though, as he shoved him a second time.

"Sirius-" James attempted as he got shoved back, stumbling over his own feet as his back collided with the wall. He groaned softly, side aching as it had hit something "I just told you, i-it just happened. I didn't want this either, okay? But it just... it just moved that way..."

"Shut up!" Sirius gritted out, shoving James again, a lot rougher this time and not caring at all about his friend's wince "You think I care that it 'just' happened?? Do you think I care that you didn't want to?? You slept with Reggie! My little brother!"

"Sirius-" James attempted as the air got knocked out of him again.

"Sirius, I swear- Just calm down, will you??" James snapped, trying to finally regain some part of control over this situation as he grabbed his best friend. He knew that Sirius was angry, a lot, and he had a right to — but he didn't have to beat him to shreds for that.

"Calm down?! You want me to calm down?!" Sirius yelled back, slapping James' hands back to shove him again "How am I supposed to calm down when you just admit to sleeping with Reggie?? You know how important he is to me! Or did you just forget everything?? I thought that you were my friend!"

"Sirius, I... I know that Regulus is precious to you and that he's the only real family you have but- I can't help it! You can't really change feelings and I was trying so hard to not act on those feelings but- Goddamnit have you seen your brother??" James snapped back, though he realized that this was obviously not the right thing to say — because it earned him another punch in the face.

"Don't you dare speak to me about Reggie like that!" Sirius hissed, grabbing James' shirt with his hands to hold him in place "It doesn't matter how he looks like, you're not supposed to be looking at him in the first place!"

"I-I know and I wasn't at first either, I swear! I knew that he was off limits- but I just- And he- and- Bloody Hell, Sirius, stop shoving me!" James yelled, trying so hard to keep the other at arms length, though his throbbing pain was making it hard to concentrate, or see straight for that matter. That didn't seem to stop him though and instead, Sirius just punched him again, his grip staying on James' shirt to stop him from protecting himself.

"You don't get to complain, damn it!" He yelled, using his strength to push the boy against the wall. James hit his head against the stonewall and couldn't help groaning as everything swam for a moment "Not when you apparently don't care that you slept with my brother!"

"I do care! When did I ever say that I didn't care about him??" James yelled, clawing at Sirius' hands as it was becoming harder to breathe "Bloody hell, Sirius, Reg and I, we... We don't just snog, we also... you know, do more, like dates and so on and- and I care about him. Really. Please"

That one earned him a kick in the ribs. James couldn't help groaning, buckling over as he tried to shield his stomach with his arms from another hit, just in case. Sirius wasn't making it easy though, keeping a tight grip on his shirt to keep him upright.

"Sirius- Sirius, please. Try to to understand" James said, trying to reason with him.

"Sirius, I... I love Reggie..."

That was it. The moment that James said those three words, he saw Sirius snapping completely. Without even a bit of self control, his friend drew his hand back again before punching him in the face for the fourth time.

"You better watch your words, Potter!" Sirius hissed through gritted teeth. Yet again another difference between him and his brother. Regulus' anger was cold, with narrow eyes following your every move and coming up with a quiet way to make one pay. Sirius lacked that control though and rather acted on his hot impulses, which ended up in more injuries, usually. James was normally not the target of either of those though.

"You do not love my brother! Don't you dare to say that!"

"Sirius-" James stopped as he had to cough, his stomach churning painfully and his knees buckling.

"Please" He pleaded, blindly reaching for his friend's arm to grasp it. He wouldn't fight him, not anymore — if he even could do so, because he knew it was going to happen and he deserved it. He slept with Regulus. He slept with his best friend's brother, multiple times. Bloody hell, they were dating, in secret but still doing so. Or well, not so secret anymore, apparently.

"You don't get to beg me!" Sirius snapped back, pulling his arm out of James' reach to shove him again, keeping the boy pressed against the door "You don't get to beg me, you asshole! You already slept with Reggie, there's no way for you to fix that!"

"I-I know. I know, Sirius. I... I'm sorry, okay? But..." James trailed off before the breath was knocked out of his lungs again as another punch hit him. He couldn't even concentrate enough on where it landed, feeling as if he was tipping to the side.

"Sorry doesn't make it better! Sorry doesn't fix everything! It doesn't do anything! You slept with Reggie and-" Sirius stopped his yelling as he paused, only gripping James' shirt to hold him against the wall "And... how many times?"

"What...?" James rasped, wiping over his mouth with a shaking hand, having to make sense of the words first, trying to shake the fog, though it was of no use. He paused before frowning "How many...? As if I would tell you that. That's something highly private"

"Like hell that is private! You slept with my little brother and I have the right to know how many times!"

Sirius was about to punch James again when suddenly Remus had pushed himself between the two, one hand grabbing his boyfriend's shoulder to keep him in place while the other stopped his flying fist in an attempt to shield James, who clearly seemed to be the one needing the shielding this time. As soon as Sirius' hands left James' shirt, the wizard could only groan as he slid down on the wall.

"Mate, what's going on here? What's with all the yelling, and punching? Everyone is getting worried"

"It's nothing for you to worry about, Remus" Sirius snapped back, pushing against the other boy to try and get closer once more, so that he could continue punching James, though Remus just trapped him in his grip further "This... this is just a small disagreement, nothing to concern you"

"'Small disagreement'?" Remus asked in disbelief, just tightening his grip on Sirius' arms. He looked back to James, who was holding his stomach. As he turned back around to face Sirius, his voice was softer again "I don't think so. What's going on, Padfoot?"

"Remus, I'm fine" Sirius responded, trying to free himself from the other's grip again "I'm just... trying to talk with James here and he won't listen to me..."

"You did what??" Regulus yelled upon having heard about Severus’ little stunt, trying to decide if he should hex him right then or search for James first because he could guess what was bound to happen once his brother found out about it all "In what world do you think that you have a right to confirm such stupid rumours! You-"

"I heard there's a fight at the Gryffindor tower" A Slytherin yelled and that was all it took for Regulus to start heading over there — because he could already guess which two people were involved.

Upon seeing the scene in front of him, Regulus couldn't help gasping softly, his legs immediately carrying him over to James. As he saw him injured, he sank down in front of him before cupping his bloody face to lift it up.

"What the hell happened?" He asked, not even having noticed Remus still trying to hold off a furious Sirius.

"Reggie?" James asked through the fog, having his cologne all in his lungs again. He could feel two slender hands cupping his face and pulling him up, though he couldn't help groaning at the impact, even if the other was probably careful.

Where had Sirius gone to?

James doubted that he had just vanished.

"Shhh, shhh... It's me, I'm here" Regulus whispered, gently guiding James' bloody face up so that he could look at him. He attempted to wipe away some of the blood, though he had no idea where all of that was coming from. However, before he could ask more questions, he was reminded of Sirius' presence when he could hear him yell again.

"Sirius, for God's sake, you're making an idiot of yourself!" Remus yelled, trying to get him to calm down as he pushed him back, away from seeing James, especially now that he was occupied with Regulus, which would probably only cause him to lash out again "Just calm down for fuck's sake!"

"Why should I calm down when he slept with my little brother!!" Sirius shouted, still trying to free himself from Remus' grip so that he could reach James again "You can't expect me to be calm in this situation! He slept with Reggie!"

"I don't expect you to be calm but I also can't let you lose it on your best friend! James is bleeding because of you!"

And not that little either, as far as Remus could tell.

At the pause of conversation, James requested Regulus to pull him up. Gripping him on his shoulder and waist, James tried to stand up, though couldn't help wincing as his ribs ached in protest. Immediately, Regulus' arm found its way around his torso to take some of his weight as he leaned against the wall for support. In the light, Regulus couldn't help wincing as he saw the bruise on his eye already forming, aside from the one on his jaw.

"Bloody hell, you look bad... Sirius really did a number on you, didn't he?" Carefully, he reached up to wipe the blood from under James' nose, who just winced at the contact before drawing away from him.

"'t's fine. Deserved it anyways. Don't worry, Reggie" He mumbled, trying to wipe over his nose himself to catch some of the blood before he was bleeding even more onto the floor.

"Don't you dare say that you deserved this" Regulus hissed, gently grabbing James' hand because he was just smearing the blood all over his face "You deserve getting yelled at, and maybe a little bit of shoving — but this? That goes too far" James ignored Regulus' words, though they were soothing as his hand was so warm against his, still holding onto him, despite his sleeve being bloody and his hands shaking and-

James turned to instead look up at Sirius, not being able to find any words though. He didn't know how to ask for forgiveness.

How could he ever do so?

He had caught feelings for his best friend's little brother.

"I'm sorry. I messed up, I know, Sirius... But I swear, I never... meant for this to happen, as stupid as it sounds. But it did and... and I can't change that anymore..." James groaned, shifting his position on his boyfriend, who still took most of his weight "I'm sorry, Sirius. I really didn't plan on it... It just... Well, it just happened..."

"And that's supposed to make things better?? That you 'just' slept with my little brother??" Sirius yelled back, still only at distance for Remus holding him back "Damn it, James! I told you to stay away from Reggie! How the hell did this happen anyways?!?"

"I know!" James said, hot tears burning in his eyes, though he couldn't tell if it was from his physical or emotional pain "I know that you did and I wanted to and I didn't mean to act on it but-" James eyes wavered over to Regulus and his voice gave out again.

Because, how could he ever say 'no' to that face?

"They're going to the Poppy, now" Remus explained, shooting Regulus a quick glance to direct him to the door before he focused back on his boyfriend, only losing his grip on Sirius momentarily in order to pull him out of the stairwell, careful to keep himself between his two roommates "And we two are going for a cigarette"

"Guess we're going to the hospital wing then?" James asked, once Sirius was gone as he tried to brighten the mood again — because he noticed just how awfully quiet the party had gone. He tightened his grip on Regulus, his hand pulling on the shirt on his waist while the other was over his shoulder to hold onto him there. He wanted to apologise because he was wrinkling his beautiful clothes and he couldn't help fussing over the fact that Regulus always looked so delicate but no words came and he could hardly stop leaning onto him.

"Guess we are" Regulus responded and though he was still quite pissed at the whole situation, the slight whimper from James as he tightened his grip on his waist almost made him forget his anger. He sighed softly before starting to move, only a small step to assess James' situation. His boyfriend followed him, though couldn't help pulling a face — all the while refusing to lean further onto him though.

"Quit that already. You can't walk to the hospital wing by yourself"

"I'll be fine" James grumbled softly, getting some distance between him and Regulus, at least as long as they were still in the Gryffindor common room. Once in the hallway, he couldn't help staggering, though Regulus made sure to catch him.

"No, you're not. Quit being stubborn, James. You're not going to lose your pride just by admitting to be in pain right now" Regulus gritted through his teeth as he tried not to focus on all of James' injuries. Seeing him wounded like that just angered him even more and he would hold a thorough conversation with his brother later on, once James was taken care of.

The stairs were even worse, even with Regulus taking most of James' weight at this point, so he just went to carry him, despite the protests until the two arrived in front of the hospital wing. Once inside, Madam Pomfrey had hurried over to them before James even reached the first bed, wanting to just collapse on it.

"Oh dear, what happened to you? What did you do this time, James?" She asked, already starting to fuss over him as she inspected his injuries. The boy just shrugged.

"Just... you know... Quidditch. Fell off my broom" James mumbled because having to explain the whole fiasco with him and the Black brother's was not in his capabilities anymore, at least not now. And he has had his fair share of injuries from falling off during stunts, though even Remus could probably tell that his injuries couldn't possible be from falling off a broom.

Regulus rolled his eyes at James' answer, even if he could understand why the other didn't want to tell the nurse what had happened. Instead of making a comment about it though, he just tried to help her as best as he could, holding James' as still as he allowed him to while she was checking for any serious injuries. After a quick once over, she instructed him to get James to the closest bed while she would get whatever she needed.

"You know, you could have just told her what really happened, that you got in a fight" Regulus muttered, so that only James could hear him as he lowered him on the bed. James just shook his head, honestly too exhausted to care much anymore.

"Not right now"

"Alright, not now then" Regulus whispered, voice soft as he drove a hand through his boyfriend's hair. After some medicine for healing his injuries and another draught to get him to fall asleep, James soon found himself laying in the hospital bed. He could barely concentrate as Regulus was tugging him in, still having that grim expression on his face. Once close enough, James reached over to grasp his hand. Upon noticing, the younger turned around to face him, giving his fingers a soft squeeze as he waited for him to say something.

"I'm sorry" He whispered, even though he didn't quite understand why he said that. He wanted to ask Regulus if he wanted to come under the blanket because it was so cold, originally. Regulus shook his head, sitting down on the edge of the bed as his thumb rubbed over James' knuckles.

"You have nothing to apologize to me for, James"

"I do. I ignored you for a week. I'm sorry"

"Don't apologize, I just told you" James sighed, though then couldn't help chuckling softly, even if his ribs were still aching.

"Well, Sirius knows now. So, at least I can kiss you now, outside of closets and bathroom stalls" Regulus huffed, shaking his head at James' words. Leave it to him to think about kissing even while in such a state...

"James, we're in the hospital wing, you idiot. Do you really think that this is the moment to think about kissing?"

"I meant in general but I wouldn't have something against a goodnight kiss?" James suggested, his lips turning into a loopy smile as he forced his eyes open again. Regulus couldn't help huffing out another laugh as he shook his head.

"You can't be serious, James. You're almost asleep right now. You couldn't even kiss me properly"

"You could still kiss me. I love your lips on mine. They fit perfectly. And taste perfectly. You're perfectly" James continued, brain already clocked out to realize that what he was saying didn't make much sense anymore.

"Goddamnit, James, you're such a sap when you're tired" Regulus muttered, though then leaned down to gently kiss him. James couldn't help smiling even wider as he could feel Regulus softly kissing him, though he was barely able to kiss back before he already fell asleep, out cold. Upon feeling the boy fall limp, Regulus pulled away, not being able to help the fond smile. He reached out to gently run his fingers through the James' messy hair, pushing some of the strands away from his face.

"You are damn lucky that you're cute, you idiot..." He muttered.

Chapter Text

Regulus couldn't help the way his nostrils flared as he made his way over to the Gryffindor tower again. James was still laying in the hospital bed, finally asleep. His hands were tinged red from his blood but he didn't bother to hex it clean, not yet, not as long as he hadn't talked to Sirius. He could as well just see the damage he had done.

After muttering the password to the painting, the younger Black slipped into the common room. He and Sirius had exchanged the passwords at the start of each school year, for emergencies. 'Emergencies' were thought to be heavy nightmares and alike, but this might as well be one.

The party was still going on, if being tamed down by now. Regulus ignored it and ignored the people, even brushing past Peter, who had barely opened the door to the Marauder's dorm room when he arrived. The other quickly dashed downstairs though.

"Sirius Black" Regulus called before he had even entered the room completely, the door slamming shut behind him. His brother had lazily rested on the bed, though got up upon seeing him.

"Little brother, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Cut the chase, brother" Regulus retorted with a scoff as he strode over to his brother, wand in his hand and pointing at Sirius' chest before he had even realized it "Why the hell would you beat up James like that?"

At that, Sirius froze, scowling.

"He deserved it"

"'Deserved it'?" Regulus echoed, the tip of his wand getting thrusted in Sirius' chest "For what? For being my boyfriend? C'est quoi ce bordel, Sirius??" He was barely able to control his voice, anger so close to the surface that it was almost burning him from the inside — so telling English from France, or another language, was too much at the moment.

"Don't point your wand at me" Sirius hissed, his eyes flashing dangerously as he swatted at his brother's hands "I don't like him dating you. You can do better"

"You don't want anyone dating me! But I'm almost seventeen. I'm not a kid anymore and I'll have a love life. I have a love life. So get over it, Sirius"

He had always been grateful for Sirius, his big brother, taking the blame and standing between him and their parents.

But this wasn't the same.

"You think you're so grown up just because you've started dating someone? You're still just a kid. You don't know anything about love or relationships"

"Well, what about you?? You're supposed to be such a professional in love or what? Oh please. Remus and you have been eye fucking another since my first year and you just barely noticed it. You don't know anything" Regulus snapped before jabbing his wand in Sirius' chest again.

"You keep your nose out of my relationships. I know what's best for you. And it's not some stupid Gryffindor Seeker"

"If you know what's good for me, then you wouldn't have tried to get between me and James" Huffing, Regulus brought up his wand again "I don't even expect you to support it, but treat James with decency or otherwise I will make you regret it. Not Snape, not our parents, but I will"

"You can't threaten me. I'm your older brother. I know what's best for you, which is not dating Potter. He's a bloody idiot"

"Baubillious" Regulus muttered, a white strand of lightning extending from his wand to his brother's chest before extending over the fabric. The words had left his mouth before he even realized it but he knew that it wouldn't be enough pain to even bother Sirius for more than a moment, not after the many years at Grimmauld Place 12.

"Don't call him that"

"Don't call him that, huh?" Sirius repeated, a bitter scoff escaping his lips "Don't tell me that you're going to defend him over me, your own brother?"

"Well, you're a danger to him right now, not the other way around. We both know that James would never lay a hand on you but you just did, and he's in the hospital wing, so- yes, I will. Don't tempt me, Sirius" Regulus didn't remember when he had grabbed his brother's shirt, fingers curling around the fabric until his knuckles turned an even paler shade. He hated this. Hated how his parents had affected him. Hated how he couldn't keep his facade up whenever it was about Sirius — or James, as of late.

"I'm a danger to him? You think Potter is some innocent little angel? He's an arrogant prick, and he doesn't deserve you"

"He is your best friend" Regulus shot back, another hex flowing out of his wand. This time, Sirius deflected him though.

"He was my best friend. He stopped being that the moment he started dating you"

"Well, if it's-" Regulus huffed, his wand sinking down again "If it's like that, then I won't talk to you either" He finally stated before turning on his heels to walk out, shoulders straight and head high as if he didn't have to bite back the tears.

"Alright, go then! I don't need you, just how I don't need James!" Regulus didn't reply, simply casting his brother another glance before he walked out and was on his quickest way downstairs. He slipped into the hospital wing again, slowly sinking under the covers until he could hear James' heartbeat, anger subsiding enough to lull him to sleep.

The next weeks went... relatively well.

Actually, no, they didn't but Regulus could pretend.

And he was very good at pretending that everything was alright when in reality, it was falling apart.

He and Sirius didn't talk and neither did Sirius and James, or at least it didn't seem like it. The Gryffindor table was quiet at the Marauders area during meals and in class. Sirius would always glance over to the Slytherin's table, tired eyes seeking for the reassurance that Regulus was doing just as bad without talking to him. Not only had he lost his brother but also his best friend at the same time. Usually, he just went to the other when one of them broke away but now both were unreachable. Well, not really, Sirius could come and talk anytime that he wanted — but he would need to apologize then.

Sirius didn't apologize.

Even though Regulus had always liked to scowl at the pranks that the Marauders were pulling, he couldn't help missing them. School was awfully quiet without them. He couldn't blame them either though. Usually, James and Sirius had been the ones to come up with the ideas, just to have Remus and Regulus put them into action — mostly Remus though. He only stepped in when it was too boring.

James avoided Sirius as best as he could and Peter would usually just avoid the conflict at all times. In the end, all Remus could do was throw worried glances at his friends, though he never opened his mouth about it.

As if all of that hadn't been enough, James and Regulus could barely meet up either anymore. Even the hidden corners of the school or empty classrooms or the Astronomy tower past midnight were hard to find these days. James was doing his best to try and mend the edges of their relationships, though even he couldn't do it this time — because it wasn’t just one Black he had to deal with but two, against another.

And so, Regulus was left on his own for the most part, nightmares growing even worse until he barely slept at all. He could deal with that though — he was used to walking around like a person on the brink of turning into a ghost. It wasn't a problem but he was longing for this reassurance, this closeness that he had been able to enjoy those past years, and especially months with James on his side. He couldn't sneak into Sirius' bed for late night cuddles or midnight talks, as childish as it sounded, but he couldn't send James any letters either. So, he was left aching and pretending like everything was okay — because he would frankly not back down first. He never had and he surely wasn't going to start doing it now.

Sadly, his older brother was just as stubborn as he was.

When Yule rolled around, the two of them still hadn't spoken a word to another, which had been longer than ever before, to be honest. Their parents were the same as always. His mother was glad that the two were at home again, so that she could let out her wrath somewhere that wasn't a stupid expensive vase. No, she loved to put it out on them anyways, watching their trembling forms as they couldn't move from the floor on the dining hall until either Kreacher came and brought them a healing draught or manoeuvred them upstairs himself.

Regulus merely groaned as someone appeared next to him to show that he was awake. It was probably just Kreacher anyways. No doubt, the house elf had appeared at his side, casting a worried glance at the wizard.
His body was still spasming every few moments and his hand writing was shaky but he so desperately wanted to finally write that letter to James. It was still hard to think straight but somehow he had managed to get started.

"Young Master, Master Sirius wants me to tell you that he would like you to come to his room, shall he be capable"

It only earned an eye roll from Regulus.

"Well, tell Sirius then, that he can bloody come over himself" He grumbled, having to support his head with his hand.

Unsurprisingly, his brother came barely five minutes later.

Regulus was still sitting at the desk, just signing his name when the door opened again. He didn't bother looking back to who it was. He had recognized his brother's footsteps as soon as he was out of his room. As Sirius continued to just hover in the doorway, Regulus sighed and put down his quill, though kept staring ahead, not facing him.

"What are you writing?" Sirius asked, his voice neutral, though Regulus knew. He could practically feel his brother's glare in the back of his head, so he just stayed quiet, having to try so hard to stop the tremors in his body.

He would not give in first.

Besides, the silent treatment always pissed of Sirius the most.

"Answer me, damn it. You were writing a letter, weren't you? To James?"

"Perhaps. What does it matter?" Regulus asked, his own voice cold. He still didn't face Sirius, at least not until his chair was yanked around, so that he had to face him "I've told you, I'm not talking to you until you apologize to James"

"Apologize to James?" Sirius sneered, his jaw clenching "Why the hell should I apologize to him? He's the one who's dating you" His eyes narrowed on the younger Black though "Are you alright, mon petit roi?"

"No, I'm not. You beat up your best friend, because he fell in love with me" Regulus muttered grimly, crossing his arms over his chest to hide the tremors, the pain of their mother's hex still cursing through his body.

"You think I don't know that? I know I messed up, but he's supposed to be my best friend"

"Why can't he be your best friend and my boyfriend?"

"Because that's not how it works"

"Why not?"

"Because it's just a stupid crush! And one of you will hurt the other and I will not watch that unfold"

"But I started that relationship, not the other way around. I asked if I could kiss him. I asked if we would want to go on a date. I asked James to be my boyfriend. Not the other way around, because James is your best friend and knew that you didn't want him to. But I do. I want him, mon étoile brillante. Not all to myself, but I want part of him at least" At his words, Sirius did soften a little, his own shaking hand reaching out to caress Regulus' cheek.

"You don't know what you're getting yourself into. You're only sixteen, and James is... he's not like us. He's carefree, thoughtless, impulsive"

"As if you weren't all of those things either. I can still recall you setting your room alit because you thought that it would fix things raining in. If it's not impulsive, it's stupid — and perhaps you are both. I don't care anymore, Sirius" He did but he wouldn't say that, not now because he wouldn't back down from a challenge. His brother sighed heavily, scrubbing a hand down his face.

"You're just like me, aren't you? Stubborn to a fault" Sirius knew that he was stubborn. He was awfully aware of how his pride was getting in the way of talking to his brother and best friend but he just couldn't stop it, not yet.

"We're Blacks, of course we're stubborn" Regulus mumbled under a scowl, slouching further into the chair because he knew that Sirius was going to back down now, he always did when he was feeling in control "However, mon étoile brillante, you will back down from James"

Sirius let out a soft scoff, a hint of a smirk crossing his face.

"Oh really? And what makes you think I will?"

"I know you've been missing me. And if you don't back down, I will not continue to be nice to you, until you're all alone" Regulus didn't mean to be cruel, at least not to his brother, but James was as important to him as Sirius was at this point. Maybe even more important, the nightmare hexes this Yule solely consisted of James laying dead on his feet — and not Sirius anymore.

"You wouldn't"

"I will, if I have to" Regulus warned, pushing Sirius away in order to get some distance between them before he got up "Don't make me, just don't"

"You're bluffing" Sirius muttered, trying to keep his voice firm — because he still couldn't wrap his mind around apologising. Why couldn't he just do it, for God's sake?

"Am I?" Regulus threatened, glowering at his brother. He didn't want to. He really had no desire to put a wall between the Marauders, especially because Remus would be caught in the crossfire and he had just befriended the werewolf. But James- He would do anything for him, whatever he would need to do. He knew that Sirius knew that he wasn't going to back down from this. He knew him well enough, after all.

After what seemed like a half eternity, Sirius sighed heavily, finally meeting Regulus' gaze again.

"I will have to apologize, won't I?" He grumbled, his tone bordering on frustrated.

"You will, no matter what you think now. It just depends at what price it will happen. But, well, better do it now then later. I'm just saying, before anyone gets hurts. Don't you think so too, brother?" Regulus asked, putting on an innocent smile like he had done so many times before when they were standing in front of their parents. It only resulted in Sirius huffing but he already knew that he had him.

Regulus had him the moment that he sent Kreacher over.

"You're truly something, you know that?" Sirius asked, driving a hand through his unruly hair again as he shook his head. After another half eternity, another sigh left his chest "Alright. Fine. I'll apologize to bloody Potter, you damn brat"

"And you forgive him. You will treat him like the best friend that he is because he did nothing to deserve what you're doing to him right now" Regulus followed up, though he knew that Sirius giving in meant that he would be able to steer him whichever way. Sirius did not bend to anyone's will, however, Regulus could whisper sweet things in his mind and make him think it was his own idea.

He had always been able to after all.

It was just a matter of time with Sirius.

"Fine, I'll forgive him. I'll treat him as if he never dated you at all"

A part of Sirius, a part that he wouldn't admit out loud, knew that James hadn't done anything wrong.

But his jealousy and pride refused to allow him to see it.

"Alright then. If you treat James like a best friend again, then... I guess that I'll be able to forgive you as well" He eventually said, adding a soft eye roll — because who would stop him?

"Great, so not only do I have to deal with your bratty behaviour but also with Prongs' annoyance again"

"Oh please, as if you haven't been dreading having to go back home for Yule. You would have preferred to stay at the Potter's, just like the last two years" Regulus mumbled, sitting back down on his chair as he was still quite exhausted, though he was starting to relax again — because Sirius had said, he would apologise.

"I would always prefer the Potter's over this shithole"

"I know, we both do. But unlike me, you could have actually had that, if you weren't so jealous and prideful all the time" Regulus mumbled, turning serious again — because it was the damn truth. Sirius had always been the outbreaker, trying to wring his way through their parent's rules until he just didn't care about them at all anymore. Regulus didn't have that choice. Regulus had to be perfect where Sirius lacked of it, because he was the spare who had to make up for Sirius' wrongs. And if he didn't, then it would backlash on Sirius and no matter what, he would protect his older brother (as long as it didn't interfere with James).

Sirius let out a deep sigh, his expression pained as his shoulders sagged.

"I can't help it, Regulus. The thought of you and Prongs together pisses me off. I don't know why. It's just..." Sirius let his voice trail off, not knowing how to continue.

"You just don't like to share. You never have and never will, that's why you and Remus match. You both are very possessive of another. And so am I of James, which will interfere with us if you can't handle it, Sirius. So don't try pulling stunts again, they don't work on me"

"I just don't understand why it had to be James. Why not someone else?"

"How am I supposed to know, mon étoile brillante? It just... happened. I don't know. He looks so cute when he panics and he's like really good in Quidditch" among other... sporty activities "And Sirius, God, have you seen him?"

Sirius couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"Oh, I've seen him. We share a dorm, remember? He's scrawny, with terrible hair and a stupid grin that never seems to disappear. And he never sleeps much past dawn, which is annoying during summer, honestly. Plus, he's never hungover. I don't get what you see in him"

"I know but have you ever driven your hands through his hair, especially in the morning when it's freshly washed? God, Sirius, I-" Regulus stopped himself because he truly sounded pathetic when talking about his idiot but he couldn't help it. He had spend an entire night, laying awake while just staring at his boyfriend but he never had enough, not of James. He wanted to watch him until he had every pore, every hair memorised.

"You sound pathetic, you know that, right? The way you talk about Prongs. It's like he's some sort of God. It's nauseating"

"He's not a God, don't be stupid" Regulus mumbled before sighing softly "He's a piece of art that I would never dare to steal, no matter the cost because he deserves to be looked at" After stifling the soft blush covering his cheeks, Regulus just muttered that Sirius was the same about Remus.

"Me and Remus are totally different"

"How exactly is that different? You're a boy, he's a boy, and you two are in love. So are James and I. It's the same"

"It's different because I said it is"

"Sirius, mon étoile brillante, you're in love and so am I. I know that you don't like that but it's the reality. Just accept it dammit, because it's not going to change" Regulus mumbled, starting to get defensive again because apparently, his brother still didn't get it.

"Fine fine, I know I'm being a hypocritical idiot. Happy now?"

At that confession, Regulus finally smiled softly.

"Yes, I'm happy now. I hated how we didn't talk" He replied, slumping back in the chair as another tremor shook through his whole body. He couldn't help scowling at Sirius' worried expression though.

"I missed you too, you know? I hated fighting with you" Stepping closer again, Sirius reached out to grasp Regulus' sweaty forehead, though the younger just brushed him off "You're still burning up"

"'m fine, just- just mother's hex still, don't worry" Regulus mumbled. Well, usually the two were all over another, especially after their mother had thrown one of her tantrums again. This time, they hadn't though. Instead, the two managed to get upstairs to their own room and this time, they stayed there through the night. It had felt weird and Regulus couldn't sleep.

But apart from it all, he was fine.

Besides, Sirius was talking to him again.

"Don't give me that bullshit. If you're still shivering like that, you clearly can't be fine"

"It's fine" Regulus replied, voice sharper than anticipated. He couldn't be the one suffering harder aftershocks than his brother after all, not when Sirius was being put under longer than he had been. That was just pathetic and he needed to be perfect.

So, no, he was fine.

"You're clearly not fine, don't even try to insist on that. I can tell" He let out a frustrated sigh "You and your damn need to be perfect all the time... It's going to get you killed one day, you know that?"

"Not being perfect will get us both killed" Regulus just mumbled, sinking further into the chair "I can handle it. Already got like three potions in me since dinner"

"I don't care about the amount of magic you've used, you're still feverish, so you're clearly not fine" Sirius snapped, his eyes roaming over his younger brother. Being apart for so long, he hadn't gotten a good look at him in weeks already. He seemed even paler than usually, his black suit a stark contrast. He seemed tired too, eye bags larger and his lips were bitten bloody, yet again a stark contrast to his white skin.

"I can handle it" Regulus protested, though he couldn't help groaning as Sirius just sat down on his lap like so many times before because it caused pain to flare up everywhere. However, he had gone so long without his brother's physical closeness, he just couldn't have said 'no' now, even if he wanted to.

God, he had missed him.

"Stop spouting nonsense. You look like you're about to drop dead, mon petit roi"

"Just haven't slept much, it's fine. Ignore it. It'll be gone by tomorrow morning, it always is, you know that" Regulus protested, his arms instinctively wrapping around his brother's wait to pull him closer against his shaking frame.

"You really look awful right now"

"Tell me about it. Will you sleep in my bed tonight? I couldn't sleep without you, not in this house" He had never been able to sleep alone, not in this house of looming shadows in every wall, looking for the tiniest mistake or just making one up to finally step into the light with a hex.

Running a hand through his brother's hair, Sirius nodded while humming softly.

"Yeah, I'll sleep with you tonight. I missed you too, you know?"

"Nice" Regulus mumbled before lifting up his head again "Mind moving to the bed though? You're heavy"

"Rude. Here I was, trying to comfort you, and all I get in return is complaints. Being the older brother is so not fair" Huffing, Sirius got up almost immediately. After a moment, he decided to pick up Regulus in order to carry him over to the bed before just laying down right next to him. When Sirius avoided his gaze though, the boy reached up to brush the hair out of his face before tilting his face until their eyes met again.

"What?" Regulus asked.

"I'm... sorry, I guess. I haven't exactly taken the news the right way. I'm very glad that you have found a partner"

"No, you're not"

"No, I'm not but it was worth a try" Sirius said under a light shrug of his shoulders while Regulus just buried his face in his brother's chest, only now noticing that his body was trembling as well. Staying quiet, he just wrapped his arms around him as well, bringing both of them closer to another.

"I am sorry though, mon petit roi" Sirius whispered after a while, kissing the crown of his brother, though the boy had already fallen asleep in his embrace.