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The evil chicken giant.
Once upon a time there was a chicken, the chicken was the biggest chicken to ever exist. The chicken Was as tall as a building, larger than a house, and as big as a dozen cows. It had a big body but a small head because a big chicken head would be unrealistic. (1)
And then there was a rabbit, bigger than a normal rabbit, slightly bigger than the average man, yet still smaller than the chicken.
Unfortunately for the rabbit, the chicken was a rabbit eater! The chicken loved eating rabbits, it was her favorite food. The rabbit begged and cried ”Don’t eat me! Don’t eat me!”. But the chicken didn’t listen, it was like it never reached its ears. ”Nom nom…” said the large chicken. (2)
The chicken reached down with its bigger-than-a-normal-chicken but smaller-than-it-should-be-for-that-body wing to grab the rabbit. But before it could reach the rabbit it was stopped by something. It was batman! Batman had come to rescue the poor rabbit, luckily. ”Do not worry rabbit! I’m batman, I will save you!” He called in a really really deep voice. (4)
Batman ran towards the rabbit but was stopped short as he saw him. The Joker. The Joker was staring in front of him, blocking the way. Batman never reached the chicken because the Joker was standing right behind it. And as batman was busy fighting the joker the chicken again started reaching for the poor rabbit. But then, dramatic pause, the Superman appeared behind the Joker. Instead of saving the rabbit Superman tried to fight The Joker too. Superman did it because his only goal here was to show he was better than batman, but in a cool, laidback and smug humble way. (5)
What he didn’t expect was The Joker to pull out kryptonite! Gah! His only weakness! The Joker did this because he did not like Superman. He was a villain but even he understood it was rude to interrupt other peoples fights. He kept on fighting batman now that Superman was out of the way. He was holding the kryptonite out to Superman in one hand while fighting with the other.
Suddenly, Harley Quinn appeared! The Joker was annoyed, this was his fight. But he didn’t show it much hoping she would stay out of the way. But Harley Quinn held out a gun, pointed towards him. She had switched sides. She was helping batman! That betrayer! (3)
What was he supposed to do now, he had gun pointed at him! Fighting batman with one hand, kryptonite in other he did not have any hands left.
Luckily for him, Poison Ivy appeared! The love of Harley Quinns life. Seeing Poison Ivy she got very happy and very distracted. Harley loved Poison Ivy so instead of treating The Joker she happily talked to Ivy.
Robin was also there but he was crying because he was an orphan.
Batman and The Joker kept fighting, Harley and Ivy talking (lovingly), Superman standing there and Robing crying. There was no one to stop the chicken. The chicken again reached for the poor scared rabbit. The rabbit, being scared, jumped around trying to escape the grasp of the giant chicken. This did not help the rabbit much but it forced the chicken to move. The chicken stepped on the Joker.
The Joker died.
Batman saw The Joker die and he was sad. Devastated. The batman obviously loved The Joker even though they were enemies. He ran to The joker, hoping to do be able to do something. He had waited his entire life. He denied ever loving someone for he saw himself cursed. Cursed to forever grieve the love he could have had, the love he didn’t deserve, the love he missed both in longing and in the past. But he was once again too late. Always. Too. Late. (6)
He was just as late to save The Joker as he had been to save his parents. He had lost the love of his life from a life he never chose and a love he never got.
Batman died of heartbreak.
Superman, having no other things to prove now that batman dead, happily danced. Robin cried harder as he was now the first ever double orphan.
The chicken now free of distractions went for the rabbit and this time she did not miss. What the evil giant chicken did not expect was for the rabbit to have fire superpowers!!! The rabbit spouted fire at the chicken in order to defeat her. But. What the rabbit did not know was that the chicken was made out of armor. Un-meltable metal! But the rabbit also had wings and a sword!
The chicken did not flinch. The rabbit expected the chicken to be scared and surprised, it was not. The rabbit was really really really confused. The chicken just looked smug. And hungry. Out of the sky the rabbit saw little dots becoming bigger and bigger. Which made the rabbit more confused. The sounds reached it’s ears before the sight caught up to it’s ears.
It was the chickens chicks! Mini chickens! Evil baby chickens! The baby chickens actually were the normal size of baby chickens.
Surprised by the miniature wannabe ducks the rabbit just stood there for a moment. A moment long enough for the sidekick birds to attack the rabbit! It hurt, their little beaks pecking him on the ears and the rest of the non-ears body parts. The rabbit bled a little and in rabbits eyes it seemed a lot. Especially if those eyes were covered by flying small, fluffy, weirdly-shaped traffic cones.
The rabbit used its fire powers to burn the chicks. The clearly rabbit wasn’t very smart as it had forgotten who their mother was. Their mother was the big, evil metal chicken. Stupid rabbit. The fire did not affect them. It only made them angrier. Which shouldn’t be possible as they were born angry and evil. (7)
The rabbit could also throw magical stoned out of his sword. The rocks weren’t magic because they could do anything special. They were simply magical because they came from a magical sword. The rocks didn’t do anything at first but the more the rabbit threw, the heavier it got for the babies. They ended up buried under all the stones and rocks.
”My babies!” The big mother chicken cried.
Mario, seeing the scene, cried. It reminded him of the fact peach had broken up with him. Mario and Luigi had come to watch the show a couple minutes earlier. Luigi had popcorn. Mario did not. Luigi did not give him any as he was scared of Marios tears making the popcorn damp and disgusting.
The big mother chicken cried and cried til the rabbit begged of her to stop out of fear to drown.
The mother kept crying and crying for she was so stricken with grief that any other possibilities washed away together with her tears. She cried so much her tears were mistaken for a small saltwater river by a mermaid.
The mermaid had beautiful red hair and lovely yellow eyes. Her black tail shining in the water like the moon in the night.
(The mermaid was based off of Crowley because Adam always thought her hair looked like Ariels. If the mermaid looked a bit too much like Crowley, well, that’s between Adam and God, and Brian, Wensleday, Pepper, Arthur and deirde Young, Anathema, Newton, Rp Tyler, Aziraphale, Crowley and one or two unfortunate dog walkers.)
The mermaids name was Crowley Crawley.
The mermaid swam, no idea where she was going but she was going somewhere. That was better than staying. She didn’t get very far. She never did. Oh she tried. She always did. Because underneath it all, she was an optimist and it was her greatest flaw.
She was caught by Pinocchio.
Pinocchio stood there, net in one had and a proud smile on his face. His wooden nose long enough to display all his lies and atone for his sins. He had captured her and now he was going to eat her. The cricket, Benjamin, told him not. But Pinocchio had lost his conscious a long time ago, no idea why the cricket still hung around. Maybe he blamed himself. Maybe he hoped for a day when his world would shine once again, bright with innocence and wonder he once had. Or maybe he was just as hungry as the boy himself.
Pinocchio set up a fire near the river made by a mother’s grief. The river once so clear with newly shed tears now grime and dirty from guilt and bitterness. The flames hands reaching for the air, greedily eager for a chance at life but tainted of sorrow by the past of its surroundings.
He placed the beautiful mermaid over the fire. He and Benjamin were going to eat good for the night. But her screams were not of fear but of pain as pure as a newborn child. Something Pinocchio never had been himself. He couldn’t stand it. No one could. The angel from the sky heard her cries and felt a pang in their chest they had never been made to feel. She swooped down to save Crawley, the mermaid, from the fire licking at her scales.
They fell inlove as the fires greedy hands reached for the angels locks of divinity.
The big chicken mother died of heartbreak and the angel sent her of the heaven. (8)
The rabbit ran away to lick its wounds and celebrate its victory at the expense of others.
Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy went over to the pile of stones burying the baby chickens. They picked of the stones and there they lay. Alive and wounded but still as alive as they always had been. Harley Quinn saw and Poison Ivy saw the motherless chicks and decided to adopt them. They gave them new names such as Albert eggstein, Angelina jopeep, Mary poopins and Henifer Aniston.
Everyone got a happy ending!
——
”That’s sexist!” Exclaimed pepper.
”No it isn’t!” Argued Adam back.
”The big evil chicken didn’t even get to be evil. Women can just as evil and brave as any man! What if she didn’t want to be a mother!”
”She did!”
”Anyways, everyone didn’t get a happy ending.”
Adam thought about it and came to the answer that, no, not everyone did. But not everyone in life got one, what about them? They were just as important in stories as other people were. And anyway, he didn’t have time to rewrite the story! He had other stories to write! He had gotten a very good idea about pirates and aliens that was going to make a perfect story.
He should be an author.