Archive of Our Own

Love is hard. No one said it is easy. 

Mikoshiba has faced plenty of challenges himself - demanding love interests who expect him to always be available for them but not the other way around, flippant ones who change their minds last minute right before their dates.

Never let it be said that galges are easy, mindless games for otakus to get 2D fictional girls to fawn over them.

But no one told him real life romance would be this–this–

Stressful. Hair-pulling, nerve-wracking stressful.

Mikoshiba stares blankly up at the white ceiling that he has long grown familiar with during his late night musings.

Issues of Monthly Girl’s Romance lie scattered across his bed, desk and floor.

He has a date with Mayu tomorrow. Their very first date.

And Mikoshiba feels like his mind is scattered like an unfinished thousand-piece puzzle.

There is a famous shojo manga artist a mere phone call away, but Mikoshiba would rather start drunk singing in the bustling streets of Tokyo than call Nozaki to ask for romantic ideas for his own brother.

And even though he trusts Sakura with his life, he does not trust her to keep a secret about ‘Mikorin’s love life’ from Nozaki, the ever-vigilant bloodhound on the constant lookout for reference for his manga. 

Mayu is no love interest from a galge, as much experience Mikoshiba has playing it there is little he can take reference from to apply.

So he continues his search for inspiration.

And then it dawns upon him - what better way to plan a perfect first date than to refer to a source famous for sweet romance?

Which has led him to this point - pouring over countless shojo manga the past few days.

Park date? Neither of them are too fond of staying outdoors for so long.

Movie date? Possible, but Mikoshiba thinks it’s such an overused first date trope.

Theme park date? Same reason as the park date, and as much as Mikoshiba likes to believe about his impressive levels of bravery, he thinks it may be a slight underestimation of how likely he will shriek on a rollercoaster. Not the kind of image he wants to impress upon Mayu.

Mayu likes it when Mikoshiba takes care of him. He said so himself. So that is what he needs to set out to do! He needs to be caring and good at looking after Mayu like he always does, showering his boyfriend with all his love.

Boyfriend. Gosh, that’s who Mayu is to him now, isn’t he?

Mikoshiba still struggles to refer to him as such without short circuiting. Granted, it’s only been a week since he responded to Mayu’s confession which officially started their relationship as a couple. But Mayu doesn’t seem to have any trouble adjusting to their new dynamics. Whereas Mikoshiba is stumbling like a newborn wet-eyed fawn.

Still, Mayu chose him. Of all the people in the world, Mayu still chose him. So he needs to step up his romance game and be someone that is worthy to stand by his side.

And that is the source of his sleepless nights. 

His phone buzzes, startling him out of his thoughts.

From: mayu

r u asleep yet

The whirring emotions inside him calms almost instantly at the sight of Mayu's name. A fond smile tugs at Mikoshiba's lips as he rapidly shoots back a reply.

From: Mikoto-san

no. can’t sleep!!

i’m a little excited about tomorrow

More like nervous to the point of blacking out, but Mayu doesn’t need to know that.

From: mayu

me 2

excited i mean. i can always sleep anytime

Mikoshiba laughs. Of course Mayu can fall asleep no matter how he is feeling. He envies this talent of his boyfriend’s.

From: Mikoto-san

man i wish i can do that too

let me leech off some of your napping skills

From: mayu

next time mb, when i nap w u

Mikoshiba chokes on absolutely nothing as his entire face burns up at the implications.

Stupid, stupid mind. Stupid, stupid Mayu.

From: Mikoto-san

enough!! you’re being embarrassing! again!!!

i’m going to sleep zzz

It takes him all of his self-control not to chuck his phone to the other side of his bedroom. He is about to shove it under his pillow when it buzzes again.

From: mayu

gnite Mikoto-san sleep well

Despite the fading heat on his cheeks, Mikoshiba smiles at the message and is able to drift off into a deep sleep.

“Okay, Mikoshiba Mikoto,” Mikoshiba stares firmly at himself in the mirror, “you can do this.”

The morning sky is a clear blue, the wind is cooling, his breakfast is warm. Today will be a good day.

He heads over to the train station, where they had agreed prior to meeting. He is on time, but he sees Mayu already there.

“Mayu!” He waves at him. Mayu turns at the sound of his own name and locks eyes with Mikoshiba.

“Mikoto-san.” Mayu says when he stops in front of him.

“Did you wait long?”

Mayu shakes his head.

“That’s good. Let’s go then.”

After days of teeth-grinding indecision, he eventually decided on an aquarium date. He couldn’t glean much from Mayu’s response when he suggested that over message, so now is a good opportunity to find out what he thinks.

“Have you been to an aquarium before?”

Mayu shrugs. “Parents took us once, when we were young. Don’t remember much, but I guess it was nice.”

A neutral opinion, but better than an apathetic one - Mikoshiba will take it.

“Okay,” he grins, “then let’s make new memories this time!”

Mayu blinks, and with a minute softening in his expression, he nods.

It takes them more than an hour to reach the aquarium by train, so it is a small blessing that they find themselves some seats for the long ride. The Saturday morning crowd is a colourful and lively mix of families, teenagers and couples. Mikoshiba spends the first fifteen minutes filling Mayu up on what he has been doing the past week - challenging coursework, lunches with Sakura, manga deadlines with Nozaki.

He pointedly does not bring up the embarrassing number of hours he spent researching for this date.

When he quietens, having finished his summary, Mayu continues to stare at him.

“...t else?”

Mikoshiba doesn’t catch Mayu’s response over the surrounding noise. So he leans into his space, pressing his shoulder and arm against his.

“What was that, Mayu?”

With a slight press of his lips, Mayu contemplates for a second before closing the distance even further. He leans past Mikoshiba’s face until his mouth is a hair’s breadth away from his ear.

It is only then that Mikoshiba registers how close they are. At once, he is both hyper-aware of Mayu’s warmth seeping into the places they are touching - cheek, shoulder, arm - and the fact they are so casually affectionate in public .

“I said, what else?”

Mayu murmurs into his ear, his voice low and gentle.

Mikoshiba’s spine snaps rod-straight and he jerks back.

Mayu tilts his head, confusion clouding his eyes.

“N-Nothing else, much. That was–that was all.” Tongue clumsy in his mouth, he can only manage with an awkward reply.

He turns away quickly and misses the way Mayu’s eyes dim in muted disappointment.

The next few seconds pass in awkward silence. Mikoshiba wants to bury himself into a hole. Of course he has to go and make mountains out of molehills with his abysmal ability to rein in his embarrassment.

As he continues to stew in his own shame, Mayu speaks up again.

“Mikoto-san, I’m going to nap.”

He startles and looks at Mayu. “Oh. Okay. We have quite some time until we reach, I’ll wake you up then.”

Mayu nods. Then, leaning against Mikoshiba, he closes his eyes and becomes still. Mikoshiba does not even have the time to tense up and react before the other falls asleep.

Mikoshiba darts his eyes up at the other passengers but no one is looking in their direction. Having so much physical contact with Mayu is not new to him. He cannot count the number of times Mayu props his head on Mikoshiba's lap during his afternoon naps, or whenever Mayu leans over his shoulder to look at whatever Mikoshiba is drawing at the time.

But being openly affectionate as a couple, and on their first date no less - he feels his heart threatening to leap out of his mouth.

At one point, Mayu’s head lolls sideways until it rests on Mikoshiba’s shoulder. His breath hitches at the increased proximity. But Mayu sleeps away, oblivious to the chaotic hurricane of thoughts swirling in his head.

He really envies this skill of his.

Attempting to distract himself, Mikoshiba pulls out his phone and starts scrolling through social media. He sees recent posts from his friends - Sakura with an aesthetic shot of a pretty cake, Kashima with a blurry photo of an angry-looking Hori-senpai, Wakamatsu with a simple picture of a basketball court.

Maybe he'll post one from the aquarium later. 

Mayu’s head is a comforting weight on his shoulder. With the gentle rocking of the train and the comforting warmth of his partner, Mikoshiba rests his head on the top of Mayu's. Letting out a low breath, he feels his eyes droop and shut.

“...oto-san? Mikoto-san?”

Mikoshiba pries open his eyes, heavy with grogginess.

“...Mayu?” He mumbles as he attempts to blink away his drowsiness. “What's up?” 

“Where do we alight? Are we there yet?”

Mikoshiba looks up at the display and squints to see which station they’re at now.

Oh, shit .

“Oh, shit.” 

They've completely missed their stop - thankfully only by three stops so they aren't too far off. Once the train doors open, Mikoshiba all but pulls Mayu by the hand as they scramble to the other platform to course correct their route.

“Sorry, Mayu,” Mikoshiba sighs in dismay as the train departs, "I promised I'd wake you up but I ended up falling asleep myself.”

Mayu shakes his head. “It's okay. I enjoyed it.”

“Enjoyed what?” The running and panicking? At least one of them is having fun. 

“Resting. With you. You were nervous, but you relaxed afterwards. And you let me be close to you.”

Mayu murmurs the last part with a downwards tilt of his gaze and a slight tuck in his chin, almost as if-

He's pouting , Mikoshiba realises in awe.

Ah, his heart really cannot take this.

“It's our first date,” he hastily jumps to explain, “I couldn't help myself from getting all antsy. It isn't that I didn't like to be close, definitely not! I was just…”

He gracelessly trails off, eyes darting between Mayu's collar and the carriage floor.

“But even so,” he works up the courage to continue, to get across what he truly thinks, “I want to be. Close, I mean. So we can try again–but later! I'm still nervous.”

He eventually pulls his gaze upwards to look Mayu in the eye.

To others, Mayu's expression does not seem different from usual. But to Mikoshiba, he sees the way the corner of his eyes soften with fondness.

“Mikoto-san is very cute.”

Mikoshiba bristles. “There you go again! Don't call me cute!”

“But it is true.”

“It's not!”

They finally arrive at their stop– again –and make their way to the aquarium. There are quite a number of visitors across all ages, being the weekend and all.

Mikoshiba picks up a brochure and skims through it. “Do you know anything about fish?”

Mayu shrugs.

Well, guess it won't be an educational date then.

They wander around the aquarium observing and admiring the colourful schools of fishes. The aquarium is dark, bathed in a deep blue light emanating from the waters. Sunlight reflects off the shiny scales of the fishes like a gentle caress, and as they languidly swim through clear waters they seem almost incorporeal. 

Mikoshiba peers through the glass and spots a fish cutting a lazy path across the water, looking as bored as one can imagine a fish to appear.

“This one looks like you, Mayu!”

He looks at where Mikoshiba is pointing. The fish is swimming with no thoughts in its small flat head.

“I want to be a fish too.” He says with conviction.

“Is that seriously your takeaway from this?”

“They don't need to study or work, they can sleep whenever they want…I want to be like them.”

“Fish don't have judo, though.”

Mayu lets out a shocked gasp in revelation. Mikoshiba’s face scrunches in disbelief. “Did that really not occur to you?!”

Mayu stares petulantly at the fish as if its very existence offends him, pulling a chuckle out of the other.

Suddenly, something in the water shifts–a current, perhaps. A change in angle. The soft light from water falls on Mayu's face, basking him in an ethereal blue glow.

Mikoshiba stares, wordlessly transfixed.

He only has a brief private moment to himself to admire Mayu’s profile before it gets noticed.

Mayu blinks. “Mikoto-san?”

Cheeks flushing at being caught, Mikoshiba shakes his head and wills his blush away. “It's nothing.”

Now is not the time to be fawning. He ought to take this chance and recreate a scene from shojo manga!

He tries to recall what happens at aquarium dates from all the research he has done. Lingering gazes, cute fun-fact-sharing moments–

Hand-holding.

He steals a surreptitious glance at Mayu, whose attention is on a passing stingray.

Taking a nervous breath, he experimentally brushes a hand against the back of Mayu's. At once, Mayu whips his head to look at him, gaze sharp.

As expected from a trained judoka, Mikoshiba thinks, to have his senses honed to be able to pick up a contact so minute.

“What's up?” Mikoshiba asks with faux innocence.

Mayu shakes his head, although there is a thoughtful set in his jaw.

Mikoshiba looks in the other direction, unable to meet his gaze. A turtle swims by and he gratefully takes the opportunity to put his attention somewhere else. Phase One has gone well, Mayu does not seem to be against the idea of touching hands. That is a good sign. Time to initiate Phase Two–

Suddenly, he feels a gentle tug at his index finger. Before he can react, warm fingers wrap around his. Light enough for him to pull away if he wants to, but firm enough for him to feel their presence.

Hey now, what's this? Mikoshiba feels his face and neck heating up. Isn't he supposed to be the one who takes the initiative? He's the older one out of them too, no? He's done all that research and now Mayu completely turns the tables with a single gesture.

To think a touch as simple as hand-holding has reduced him to a blushing mess. How embarrassing!

Mayu doesn't say anything. Mikoshiba doesn't think he can respond even if he does.

Still, he does not pull away. They spend the rest of their tour holding hands. Mikoshiba’s nervousness eases off his shoulders and he even starts to tug Mayu along when he spots a cool looking fish. Mayu silently allows to be pulled along, nodding and humming in response to his animated commentary.

Before they know it, they reach the end of the route. 

“Well, that was a nice experience, I'd say! What did you think?”

Mayu nods. He looks down at their intertwined hands. Realising that they have not stopped holding hands ever since Mayu reached for it, Mikoshiba abruptly releases his hold.

“What do you wanna do now?” He quickly asks before Mayu can comment on it.

“...Recharge.”

“Oh, do you wanna sit somewhere? We can find a place to eat, it's been hours since I had breakfast.”

Mayu's eyes light up at the word ‘eat’, which Mikoshiba surmises is what he meant by recharge.

They eventually find a ramen shop nearby. As the weather is beginning to get chilly, slurping on a hot bowl of ramen hits the spot. Mikoshiba offers a slice of his chashu and Mayu returns the gesture with his gyoza. Once they are finished, stomachs full and hearts warmed, they make their way back to the train station.

The streets are full of people going about their day. It seems to be a busy district with a few new shops and eateries opening along the street they are on. Mikoshiba thinks about bringing Sakura to one of the trendy cafes they just passed by - she’s been on a cafe-hopping binge lately, she’d love to visit that one.

Familiar sounds of clinking machines and excited hollering catch his attention. Mikoshiba turns to see rows of brightly lit claw machines tightly packed in a game centre, all filled to the brim with an impressive assortment of prizes.

A lightbulb goes off in his head. An arcade date. He's seen a few of those in shojo manga as well. The female lead sees a cute stuffed toy she likes. To impress her, the male lead gets all cool and goes to win one for her.

Perhaps he can win one for Mayu.

“Oh, that looks fun! Do you wanna check it out?”

Mayu follows his gaze and nods.

They walk up and look at the stuffed toys pressed up against the glass, begging to be won and taken home.

He sees a stuffed black cat with an uncanny resemblance to Mayu. It is large and round and possibly one of the most adorable things he’s ever seen. He grins.

“That kinda looks like you, doesn't it?”

Mayu blinks slowly at the cat plush, which stares back with endearing nonchalance.

“I'll win this for you, just you watch!”

He rushes off to exchange five tokens and begins to play.

The first attempt is promising. He finds a good position on the first try and it manages to pull it out of the squeezy huddle of toys.

The second attempt does not go as well. It misses the mark and brushes past the cat's head.

The third attempt teases him with a possibility of winning, picking up the cat and dragging it towards the hole. But before it reaches, the cat falls out of its metal grip and tumbles back to the bottom.

At the fourth attempt, his frustration has mounted to an all time high. Gritting his teeth, he glares hotly at the claw when it grabs at the cat, daring it to drop the cat prematurely.

It doesn't even manage to pick it up, giving it a pathetic pinch before going back up.

Mikoshiba lets out a loud groan. “Come on! This is totally rigged!”

Mayu has only been observing him silently so far. Then, just as Mikoshiba is about to insert his fifth and last token–

"Mikoto-san, can I give it a try?”

He sighs tiredly and puts the token on Mayu's waiting palm. “Help yourself.”

They exchange places and Mayu slips the token into the slot. The claw machine whirs to life again and he deftly manoeuvres the controls.

The claw grips firmly on the cat. Picks it up without letting go. And drops it straight into the hole.

Mikoshiba’s jaw drops with a gasp so loud that the teenagers playing behind them look over curiously. Not that he has the mind to care. He stares owlishly at Mayu who calmly bends down to extract the prize like he did not just one-up Mikoshiba in one try.

Mayu regards the cat plush in his hands for a moment before holding it up towards Mikoshiba.

“Mikoto-san. For you.”

Mikoshiba blinks.

Wait. Wait, wait, wait .

Did Mayu just turn the tables on him again ?

As he registers this in muted shock, he raises his hands in a robotic motion to accept the plush. It is stupidly big - a round creature the size of a beach ball and his fingers would only barely touch if he were to wrap his arms around it. It is also ridiculously soft to the touch. Crap, he can't stay frustrated for long when it's so soft.

“I didn't know you're so good at claw machines.”

Mayu shrugs. “I didn't know either. But you wanted the toy, so I tried to get it.”

“Thank you, Mayu.” He smiles, then chuckles, then is reduced into a fit of laughter at how ridiculous this whole thing is.

Mayu tilts his head in confusion.

“It's nothing,” Mikoshiba wheezes when he eventually catches his breath, “it’s just–it really has been quite a day, hasn't it?”

Falling asleep together and missing their stop. The hand holding at the aquarium. Mikoshiba’s disastrous attempt to win Mayu a prize and ended up having Mayu win it for him.

What a ridiculous first date. What an amazing first date.

Mayu takes in the sight of a breathless Mikoshiba.

“Yes, it has.” Is what he eventually says.

They resume their route to the train station and hop on the first train that takes them back. The cat plush is huge in Mikoshiba’s arms, earning a few subtle side glances when they hop on board. When they find some seats, he puts it on both their laps to share the burden of social embarrassment.

Mayu stares blankly at the plush for a few seconds.

“What do you want to name it?” 

Mikoshiba hums in thought as he traces his finger along its ears. It looks like Noa, but he's not going to name it after his actual cat. He considers naming it after Mayu for the fun of it, but thinks better of it at the last second.

“Kuro-chan. Since it’s a black cat.”

Mayu nods, seemingly satisfied.

Then, bending forward so his head rests square on the top of its head, Mayu shuts his eyes–and sleeps.

Mikoshiba blinks once. Twice.

And he chuckles. His chest swells with something fierce. He knows now that it is affection - a warm flame that grows with every second he has with Mayu.

It has been a long day, hasn't it. Mayu must be completely spent.

To make sure he doesn't fall asleep and miss their stop again, Mikoshiba begins to upload pictures he took at the aquarium onto social media.

A minute after he posts them, he gets a comment from Sakura.

cute!! it looks so fun

He smirks. Knowing Sakura, she’ll be needling him for the details the next time they meet.

He wakes Mayu in time to alight at the station they met in the morning, and they grab a quick bite nearby as an early dinner. After that, they both insist on walking the other person home. When neither gives in, they eventually decide to walk to the park, which sits between their apartments, and end the day there.

Reluctance tugs at Mikoshiba, but he imagines Mayu’s battery to be on its last legs. He doesn’t want a repeat of that incident years ago when Mayu just collapsed on the floor after a long day at school the moment his battery ran out. 

(And then his classmates just started frantically prodding him with their phone chargers - what was that about?)

“You should come by more often,” Mikoshiba pats the plush on the head, “you wouldn't wanna make Kuro-chan sad.”

Mayu seems mildly confused. “Why would it be sad?”

Letting out a carefree laugh, he gives the plush a light affectionate squeeze. “Why wouldn't it? You're the one who helped it find a new home. And now it has one – ours, thank you.”

Mikoshiba is too preoccupied staring at Kuro-chan’s round eyes to notice the look of awe that blooms on Mayu’s face.

“... Our Kuro-chan.” Mayu murmurs slowly, as if testing the words on his tongue.

Mikoshiba brightens. “Yeah, that's right!”

Mayu appears peculiarly stunned. Before Mikoshiba can ask what is wrong, his expression smoothens back out to its usual calm.

“Anyway, I had a lot of fun today! As far as first dates go, I think we did pretty great.”

Mayu nods. “I enjoyed today too.”

Gleeful satisfaction swells in Mikoshiba’s chest and rushes up to his head. He blames the giddy feeling for his next impulse choice of words:

“And I enjoyed being with you.”

To be honest, it's not the worst line he's uttered. And it is more sincere than most, if not all, ridiculous one-liners he's ever spewed. But he catches himself off guard as usual, mouth running faster than his wits can keep up.

Mayu is quiet, quieter than usual. The look in his eyes is strangely intense and bright. Mikoshiba smothers the nervousness bubbling out of him.

“You always call me bold,” Mayu eventually says, “but I think the bold one is actually you.”

Mikoshiba chokes and masks it with a cough.

“I–I guess that's a sign that we are done for the day. Get back safe, I'll see you on campus next week?”

Mayu nods. “Take care, Mikoto-san.”

They part ways and walk in opposite directions. Mikoshiba steals a few glances over his shoulder to watch Mayu's retreating back until he fades into the distance.

If this was a galge, he’d know if things have gone well by achieving a special CG scene. And if this was a shojo manga, there would be all those flowers and pretty accents in the background. But unfortunately, he does not have the stats nor special effects to gauge his performance. They missed their train stop, but they managed to hold hands (initiated by Mayu too, no less). He didn't win the prize, but Mayu did.

Whatever happened to Nozaki “I like it when you take care of me” Mayu?

Mikoshiba sighs. He is getting mixed results, maybe he should change his strategy for the next time.

“What do you think, Kuro-chan?”

Kuro-chan stares back with adorable big black eyes.

More research it is, then. Back to the drawing board it seems.

Mikoshiba finds his answer later, when he picks up the next issue of Monthly Girl’s Romance .

It is a winter special issue - the male love interest asked the female lead out during the first snow. Pure white snowflakes powdering their hair, the mist of their breaths mingling with each other, their cheeks dusted pink from the cold and their emotions both - the scene was so tooth-achingly endearing. And when the love interest gives his scarf to the female lead to keep her warm, Mikoshiba had to fight the urge to squeal.

And so he waits for it to snow. He checks the weather forecast daily - it should start snowing around this time pretty soon. 

In the meantime, he meets Mayu regularly after their lectures end and when he goes over to the Nozaki brothers’ apartment to help with the manga. Nothing as eventful as their first, though there is little that can really top that. It doesn't mean Mikoshiba doesn't enjoy them any less. Any time spent with Mayu is time wonderfully spent.

Sometimes, Mayu comes over to his apartment to spend their afternoons together. And every time he visits, he gives Kuro-chan a pat on the head before hugging it to sleep while laying on it like a pillow.

Mayu joins him, Nozaki and Sakura sometimes for meals, and so the trio more often than not ends up being a quadruple. Not that Mikoshiba is complaining. As much as he likes Nozaki and Sakura and has been pulling all the stops to get them together, he would rather not be a third-wheel if he can help it.

Still, they really haven't had a proper date in a while, especially since they see each other so often. Mayu hasn't said anything yet either. But just because he hasn’t brought it up doesn’t mean Mikoshiba can slack off! That’s bad boyfriend behaviour.

Mikoshiba needs to be a good and pampering boyfriend and all that Mayu deserves, so he needs to plan another date – and soon.

This nagging thought nips at the back of his mind late into the night, distracting him from his assignment in front of him. The brightness of the laptop screen dries his eyes and he blinks rapidly to reset his fraying attention.

After another hour of work, the words on the screen start to blur together and he knows that he is done for tonight. He spares a glance at the corner and sighs at the “1:03am” display flashing mercilessly at him.

Rubbing his drying eyes with a tired sigh, he leans back and looks out the window for a quick reprieve.

He freezes. Stares. And leaps out of his seat towards the window.

White specks float downwards in the air, stark and unmistakable against the black night sky.

Letting out a yelp of excitement, he scrambles to grab for his phone and messages the first person on his mind.

From: Mikoto-san

mayu!!!

look out the window

Mayu replies a few seconds later. Surprising. He thought he'd have been asleep by now.

From: mayu

its snowing

From: Mikoto-san

yes!!!!

let's go out i wanna see the snow

From: mayu

u can see it just fine indoors

From: Mikoto-san

nooo it's not the same

[image.jpg]

look!! kuro-chan is staring so cutely at the snow. it wants to go outside too

From: mayu

no its glad its inside whr its warm

Frustrated, Mikoshiba groans at his phone. Right before him is a perfect set-up for a romantic scene, he needs to seize this opportunity and not let it slip away!

From: Mikoto-san

is there any way i can bribe you

i'll do anything!!!

He waits for a minute before the reply finally comes.

From: mayu

anything?

Mikoshiba’s heart skips a beat. Stupid brain jumping into stupid conclusions. He glares at the word to force all ridiculous thoughts out of his head. A whisper of hesitation stills his thumbs before he pushes out a reply.

From: Mikoto-san

yea

Mikoshiba stares nervously at his screen, swallowing his anxiety that threatens to gurgle and spill out of his throat.

His phone pings with a new message.

From: mayu

i want to be fed

Mikoshiba frowns. He reads the line. Then re-reads it.

From: Mikoto-san

? 

like you want me to cook for you?

From: mayu

no nii-san cooks for me alr

eating is too much effort i dun want to do it

From: Mikoto-san

so you want me to feed you? 24/7? like your personal butler??

From: mayu

yes

From: Mikoto-san

??? you are unbelievable

fine i’ll do it for 3 days

From: mayu

1 wk

From: Mikoto-san

5 days

From: mayu

done omw  

Mikoshiba ruffles his hair in bafflement. What has he gotten himself into?

…No matter. Since he has committed to be a good boyfriend, he should go all the way. Which he supposes now includes hand feeding his own boyfriend.

Quickly pulling out his coat, he swiftly gets himself wrapped up and ready and he heads out. They agree to meet at the park, which should be a nice place to observe the snow.

He is the first to arrive, so he finds a bench nearby and sits while he waits. The wood is a freezing slab against his bottom and thighs even though the layers. He shudders and lets out a hiss of discomfort. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he desperately hopes that his lazy idiot of a partner arrives soon.

After his fifth attempt and making out an animal shape out of the fallen snow, he hears a soft crunch of boots against snow-dusted leaves.

Mayu is bundled up to his ears. A tired scowl etches on his brow.

“Cold.”

Mikoshiba pushes himself to his feet with a chuckle. “I know, I know.”

He walks up to Mayu and brushes stray snowflakes off his fringe. Mayu bends down a little to make it easier.

“By the way, Nii-san wants you to tell him your thoughts and feelings on this once we're done.”

Mikoshiba raises a brow. “Why would he say that?”

Mayu shrugs.

Oh. Perhaps Nozaki wants some reference on a first snow scene for his manga. As expected of a shojo manga artist, he has seen through Mikoshiba's intentions!

Mikoshiba shivers and pulls his coat tighter around himself. “Damn, it's really cold, huh?”

Mayu levels him with a deadpan look, silently expressing his exasperation.

“I know, I know. I called us out here. But I was just so excited when I saw snow!”

“Didn't it snow here last year as well?”

“Yeah, but last year is last year, this year is this year. And also, this winter is our first one together, so I was thinking…”

Mikoshiba casts his gaze downwards, feeling rather bashful saying something so silly.

From the corner of his eye, he sees Mayu adjusting his clothes. Before he registers it, warmth curls snug around his neck.

Looking up, he stands stock still in surprise as Mayu finishes tying his scarf around him. It is still cosy with Mayu's heat and scent.

“Oh, thank you. But won't you get cold now?”

Mayu shrugs.

Mikoshiba gives him a considering look, then he unwraps half of it and slips it around Mayu's neck.

“There, now we both can be warm.”

Mayu falls silent, eyes inched a little wider and boring down at him. It is when Mikoshiba can count the individual eyelashes curling on Mayu's lids that he realises how much, much closer they have gotten.

Mayu's hands move, and Mikoshiba feels them linger on his hips. Even through the layers, he can somehow feel the heat seeping through.

A fierce blush spreads across his cheeks and down his neck. Hastily, he tries to come up with something to distract himself from his abashment.

“T-The snow is pretty, isn’t it?” 

Mayu does not break eye contact to look at the snow. He stays staring right at Mikoshiba. “Yes, it is.”

A complete bust. The blush spreads even further, igniting his body with embarrassment. He swears he's going to burst into flames one day.

“Mikoto-san.”

“Y-Yes?”

“Can I hold you?”

It is not what he expects Mayu to say. He looks away, feeling terribly timid.

“D-Do whatever you want.”

Mayu drags his hands away from his hips to encircle him. And he pulls him close.

Mikoshiba tenses at first, hands hanging in the air at a loss. But then he unwinds enough to rest his hands on his back.

Mayu squeezes tighter as if he is trying to melt into Mikoshiba’s embrace. Mikoshiba has never been so physically close to him before and tenses.

“Mayu! You are going to squeeze the life out of me.”

“But you said I could do whatever I want.”

“Hey! Are you gonna pay for my medical bills if you end up suffocating me?”

“Mikoto-san won't suffocate.”

“You seem very sure of that.”

“Mm. Won't let you suffocate.”

Mikoshiba huffs. “Needy. What am I going to do with you?”

Mayu exhales into the crook of his neck, almost amusedly.

“Mikoto-san.”

“Hm?”

“I want to go back now. It's cold.”

“Yeah, it's really cold, isn't it? Thanks for humouring me, we should go back.”

They pull apart but are tugged back by the scarf connecting them.

Mikoshiba snorts and begins to unwind the garment but Mayu grasps his hand to stop him. At his questioning look, Mayu unwraps his end of the scarf and hands it to him.

“Keep it.” Is all he says.

Mikoshiba narrows his eyes. This is awfully familiar…

The scene from the shojo manga!

Why does Mayu keep ending up in the role of the male lead instead of him?!

Mikoshiba groans internally, but plasters on a smile. 

Over the next five days, Mikoshiba carries out his deal and feeds Mayu whenever they eat together. Mayu, the secret fox that he is, comes to look for him after classes or drops by his apartment to make good on his promise.

As much as Mikoshiba complains every time he does it, his heart softens at the sight of his boyfriend getting comfortable and relaxed because of him. Man, he sure is whipped.

He does not slack off during this time either. Mikoshiba buries himself back into heaps of shojo manga. He comforts himself with a determined puff of his chest, this is not the only opportunity for him to fulfil his own winter special romance scene.

It goes without saying that winter romance is not complete without Christmas. He's flipped through many shojo manga issues surrounding the theme of Christmas to get inspiration - romantic strolls under dazzling lights, dinners at fancy restaurants.

He should get Mayu's opinion on this too, see if he has any ideas on what to do.

From: Mikoto-san

mayu!!!

what are you up to

From: mayu

nii-san asked me to run an errand, got bk a while ago 

u?

From: Mikoto-san

taking a break from my work to play some games

also i'm all wrapped up in my blanket and being very warm and cosyyy

From: mayu

cn i join

want to stay in n sleep til winter ends

From: Mikoto-san

you can come by now! but it's still december, you can't stay sleeping for so long

From: mayu

watch me

From: Mikoto-san

whatever you say

let me know when you're here

Mikoshiba continues to warm the bed as he waits for Mayu to arrive. He gets a ping about twenty minutes later and gets up to open the door.

Mayu stands impatiently on the other side of the door, already starting to nudge his feet out of his shoes. He immediately makes a beeline to Mikoshiba's bed, barely shrugging off his coat and scarf before he burrows into it.

Mikoshiba sits on the side of the bed in fond exasperation and he makes eye contact with the lump that peeks out from his covers.

“Hey, you.”

Mayu blinks at him drowsily.

“How was your day?”

“Fine. Went for judo in the morning, then helped Nii-san buy some stuff.”

Picking at a speck of dust on his cover, Mikoshiba turns his next words over in his mind. “By the way, Christmas is coming up soon. Do you want to do anything?”

Mayu's gaze shifts to the side in thought. “Whatever you want to do.”

Mikoshiba cocks his head sideways. “So if I want to spend the entire day in Akihabara, on Christmas day, where there will be more people than atoms there, you'll go with me?”

Mayu’s eye twitches.

Mikoshiba grins and softly ruffles Mayu's hair.

“I'm thinking of staying in for a change. We spent our first date outside, and you humoured me by standing in the cold at night just to see some snow. I'll be nice this time.”

He sees Mayu's shoulders slump in relief. “I think Nii-san will be out with Chiyo-san that day. You can come over.”

Interesting. Time to wheedle some information out of Sakura this time. Last time when they talked about his aquarium date with Mayu, she was all over him like a ravenous paparazzi, starving for every last detail.  

“Alright, looking forward to it. Do you want to keep napping or watch the next episode of a trashy reality show with me?”

“The one where they were all on a remote island and caused an explosion?”

“Yep.”

“There are strange people in this world.” He says, but sits up anyway.

Mikoshiba grins and grabs his laptop to load up the episode.

All this while he’s been doing his research, there is something that has been on his mind. It is not a fissure that has caused any cracks in their relationship, but rather a dangling thread of thought that flickers at the periphery of his consciousness. The more shojo manga panels he has read, the more he is noticing it, or the lack thereof.

They have not kissed.

Sure, they kissed each other on the cheeks, nose, forehead, and whatnot. But not on the lips yet.

As an aspiring shojo manga male lead, he needs to step up his game! 

This Christmas date would be the perfect opportunity. Alone in the apartment, having an intimate dinner with some thoughtful gifts and festive mood - he has all the elements he needs for a flawless set up.

This time, he will succeed in manifesting his inner male lead to romance Mayu!

He gets everything prepared leading up to Christmas day. On the day itself, he just needs to gather everything and head over to the Nozaki brothers’ apartment in the evening.

When he is at the door, he sends Mayu a quick message to notify him of his arrival. A few seconds later, he hears muffled footsteps approach and the door swings open.

“Hello, Mikoto-san.”

“Hey, Mayu!”

Mayu’s gaze flits down at the full bags in his arms in mild surprise. Mikoshiba merely responds with a secretive smile.

Mikoshiba heads straight to the kitchen to store the food items he bought. He leaves one bag in the living room at an inconspicuous spot. The apartment is empty save for the two of them, it seems Nozaki has already headed out. 

“Don't worry, Mayu. I have everything sorted out for tonight's dinner. All you need to do is to sit back and relax” He puffs out his chest in confidence.

Mayu nods and is about to step out, presumably to rest. But he jerks to a stop at the last minute and turns back.

“Actually, I want to help.”

Caught off guard, Mikoshiba blinks at the uncharacteristic change of heart. He does want to be a pampering boyfriend, but it’s not every day that Mayu is so eager to do something. He supposes a little help won’t hurt.

“Well, if you can preheat the oven to warm up the chicken, that would be great.”

Tonight's dinner is going to be relatively simple. He managed to get his hands on some ever-so-popular-Christmas-staple roast chicken, some potato salad and cake. Everything on the menu is delicious and requires no cooking on his part - an effortless and satisfying meal. He just needs to heat up the chicken which has cooled a little on his way here. 

A rather lovely Christmas dinner plan, he'd rather say so himself. His stomach is already growling from the smell of well-marinated chicken being warmed up in the oven. He gives himself a mental pat on the back for a job well done. 

Dinner passes in a blur. Mayu is visibly pleased by the food with the speed at which he digs into the chicken and potato salad, which is a win in Mikoshiba’s books. Once they have finished, they clean and clear up the table before migrating to the couch.

Pressing shoulders with Mayu as they sit side by side, Mikoshiba decides to do a quick scroll of his social media as he takes a moment to rest from the chores.

“Oh, look. The other lovely couple are at a Christmas market.” He shows Mayu a photo that Sakura posted of herself and Nozaki a few minutes ago. Their cheeks are slightly flushed from the cold but the warmth in their smiles is unmistakable.

Mayu takes one look at it and hums noncommittally. “I think our date is better. Staying in is the best.”

Mikoshiba snickers. “Right? Nothing beats staying in and being all comfortable.”

Still, he thinks the night is not complete without some dessert. And like the genius he is, he had the foresight to get some.

“I’m not sure how much more I can eat,” Mayu says as Mikoshiba pulls out the cake from the fridge, “Mikoto-san has stuffed me full.”

“I beg that you never say a sentence like that ever again.”

Despite his initial complaint, Mayu eats two large slices of cake without taking a break.

“Is your stomach a black hole or something…?” Mikoshiba leans forward and gawks at him in amazement. “Where do all those calories go?”

“Mikoto-san should come with me to practise judo, if you are worried about gaining weight.”

He pales instantly, memories of him getting thrown around on the judo mat by Mayu like a ragdoll flashing across his mind. “How about a ‘no, thank you’?”

Mayu glances over at him, concealed amusement dancing in his eyes. He is most definitely recalling the same thing. The cheek of him.

“By the way, I've gotten something for you.” Mikoshiba gets up to retrieve the bag he had hidden when he first came in and pulls a neatly wrapped box out of it. “I was wondering about what kind of gift to get you for Christmas, and then when you visited my place recently it kinda gave me inspiration…”

He hands the box to Mayu and watches him nervously as he unwraps it with quiet curiosity. When the label peeks through the wrapper, his eyes widen - one of the more surprised looks he has ever seen on him.

“It's–”

An electric blanket. It is a velvety dark blue and is soft to the touch. Nothing too fancy, but he's tested it out himself. One of his coursemates has one at his dorm to keep the evening chills at bay - Mikoshiba tried it out of curiosity when he went over and immediately made a purchase the very same night.

“It's no kotatsu , but hopefully it keeps you toasty and helps you sleep better! Do you like it?”

Mayu stares at him for a long moment.

Then, he reaches a hand up and gently, gently cradles Mikoshiba’s face with it.

“Thank you, Mikoto-san.”

Mikoshiba’s breath catches in his throat.

“I'll–I'll take that as a yes…?” He blurts out, unable to handle the tension between them, taut as a string.

“Mm.” The corners of his eyes crinkle. He brushes a thumb across Mikoshiba’s cheekbones.

Hold on. This is the perfect opportunity for a kiss, isn't it? The moment that he has been building up to! So he should, he should–

Before he loses his nerve, he leans forward by a few inches. Up close, he watches Mayu's eyes widen and he feels the hand on his cheek tense.

With such a startled reaction, Mikoshiba falters and he ends up tumbling into Mayu's chest. Mayu catches him around the shoulders but Mikoshiba’s face still ends up pressed up against a firm chest.

“S-Sorry, I'll just–”

Mikoshiba begins to push himself off of Mayu, but the arms around him tighten and he is trapped in his current position.

“Mayu, wha–”

“It's okay.”

Mikoshiba falls silent. Like this, he can hear Mayu's heartbeat, a steady soothing rhythm against his cheek. It's not entirely comfortable, his back is slightly bent and he has to adjust his posture so that it doesn't ache.

But he doesn't want Mayu to let go. In his embrace, he feels strangely safe.

They linger like this for a while longer before Mayu finally loosens his hold to let him sit back up.

Their gazes lock and the next few moments pass in anticipatory silence, neither making the next move (which is what exactly, Mikoshiba wonders).

Mikoshiba is the first to break eye contact as he spares a glance at the clock. The time is leaning close to eleven.

“I should go. Your brother will probably be back soon.”

He begins to get off the couch but Mayu grasps his hand, almost pleadingly. “Stay.”

“I–but–…”

“You've stayed over at Nii-san's place many times when we were still in school. And you've spent the night here before.”

“But mostly to help him with his deadlines. And also, that was before we…” He trails off.

That is true, he hasn't stayed overnight at the Nozaki brother's apartment since he got together with Mayu.

Isn't it incredibly awkward to stay over at your boyfriend's place, where his brother who is also your best friend is also staying?

He knows Nozaki won't make a big deal out of it, but he also knows he won't be able to look him in the eye afterwards. He already spent the first week as Mayu’s boyfriend avoiding Nozaki like the plague.

Mayu looks down, putting on the most petulant look he's ever seen.

Ah, this is so unfair , Mikoshiba thinks, Mayu is truly unfair.

“Needy.” He grumbles as he sits back down. Mayu perks up, looking endearingly hopeful.

“So you'll stay?” Even his quiet tone takes on an anticipatory lilt.

Mikoshiba's chest sinks with a sigh. Gosh, he is so pathetically down bad for Mayu.

“Fine, yes, I'll stay. You're explaining to your brother though.”

Mayu nods obediently.

They sit around and chat until they eventually hear the click of the front door.

Nozaki does not seem surprised to see Mikoshiba. “Oh, hey Mikoshiba.”

“Hey Nozaki.” He greets him with a lazy salute.

He shuts the door with a click and begins to shrug off his coat. “How was your Christmas?"

“It was nice. What about yours?”

“I had a good time as well. It's gotten really cold outside when I was coming back after walking Chiyo to her place. You might want to head back soon before it gets cold enough to snow.”

Mikoshiba starts to fidget. “Oh, about that…”

“ Nii-san .”

Nozaki looks at Mayu.

“Mikoto-san is stuffed full because of me so now he can't move.”

Mikoshiba wheezes and doubles over in complete shock.

Nozaki stares intensely at both of them. Mikoshiba is so light-headed from the lack of air he cannot even lift his head, opting to bury his face in his hands out of shame.

Then, Nozaki lights up with revelation.

“I see! This is a code for judo practice on a Christmas date. I hope Mayu hasn't been working you too hard, Mikoshiba. We're all travelling back to our home town quite soon, after all.”

“He's working me towards an early grave, alright.” Mikoshiba mutters under his breath.

Mayu stares at him in confusion, oblivious to the cardiac stress he has been inducing upon Mikoshiba.

Maybe he really should start considering charging Mayu his medical bills.

Later, Mikoshiba offers to sleep on the couch but one puppyish sullen look from Mayu is all it takes for him to cave and be dragged into Mayu’s bedroom.

It’s not the first time they have slept on the same bed, though usually it is Mikoshiba’s bed that they occupy. And with the almost-kiss moment that they just shared…

Mikoshiba presses his hands against his face in growing embarrassment.

“Mikoto-san.”

Mikoshiba peeks through his fingers. Mayu is lying on the other side of the bed, staring quietly at him. The winter moon shines through the window, illuminating Mayu with a soft silver glow. Under the serene moonlight, his hair gleams in a captivating midnight blue.

Getting a little too engrossed admiring the sheen in his hair, he almost misses Mayu’s next words.

“I didn’t get you anything tonight.”

Lowering his hands, Mikoshiba stares at him in bafflement. “What about it? I’m not expecting anything in return. I got you something because I wanted to.”

Mayu’s eyes flicker downwards, seemingly not placated despite his reassurance. Mikoshiba is not aware that this bothered Mayu so much. 

“I had a great time today. I thought tonight’s date went really well.” And that is the honest truth. Minus the fact that he fumbled at the last second and ruined the set up to the kiss, but that didn’t take away his enjoyment tonight.

“Me too, but I want to do something in return.”

He looks up and right into Mikoshiba’s eyes. Mikoshiba tenses immediately, hyperconscious of where they are right now - in Mayu’s bed, mere inches apart from each other, locked away in the hushed privacy of an intimate space.

“You’ve done a lot already for me.” He manages not to stammer though he hides his white-knuckle grip underneath the blanket. 

“Maybe, but I want to do more.”

“Like what?” He dares himself to ask.

Mayu does not reply immediately. Instead, he leans forward until their noses are almost touching. Mikoshiba startles but does not pull back, staring in wide-eyed anticipation and with his breath caught in his chest.

Slowly, gently, Mayu raises a hand to rest it against his cheek, an echo of their positions from before. With his thumb he traces the contours of Mikoshiba’s cheek, touch featherlight. It rests at the corner of his mouth and Mikoshiba instinctively parts his lips.

“I want to take care of you too.” Mayu murmurs, a whispered vow woven into tranquil air. 

Mikoshiba doesn’t know who closes the distance first, all that he registers is the press of warm lips against his. Mayu is gentle, if not a little awkward, but Mikoshiba is faring no better. The bed sheet underneath Mikoshiba’s hand twists under his nervous grip.

But even then, despite that–

His heart is singing. His head is floating. His lips are aflame. Mikoshiba presses back, relishing the tender touch. He wishes he can stay in this moment.

Eventually, Mayu pulls back and Mikoshiba admits with almost little shame that he tilts his head forward, chasing. 

“Maybe you can afford to take care of me more.” It must be the late night delirium, but Mikoshiba’s filter has long stopped working.

A small huff escapes Mayu. “Rest, Mikoto-san. It’s late.”

“You’ll be here when I wake up?” Mikoshiba stifles a yawn as he asks.

Mayu closes the gap between them again to lightly tap his forehead against his.

“Yes.”

Christmas has passed but the festive mood still lingers in the city like a cherished memory. A few days have gone by since then and on a bright early morning, Mikoshiba, Sakura and the Nozaki brothers travel back home together to spend the New Year with their families.

When Mikoshiba arrives at the station, he sees Sakura already there waiting. She is snugly wrapped up in a thick scarf, pink-tipped ears poking out from the soft wool.

“Morning, Sakura!” He greets her with a casual wave, which she returns with an enthusiastic one.

“Good morning, Mikorin!”

He stops to stand next to her. “Did you wait long?”

“No, I just arrived. Nozaki said they'll be here in five, so they should be arriving soon.” She pulls her phone out to double check her messages.

Mikoshiba rubs his gloved hands together. “They better! I can't wait to get inside the train.”

She chuckles breezily. “It’s really cold, isn’t it? How was Christmas?”

“Good. I spent it with Mayu.”

Sakura raises a brow smugly, shamelessly fishing for more details.

He rolls his eyes. “We ate, talked, and chilled.”

“So stingy with your details.” She turns her nose up.

“Yeah, yeah. What about your Christmas with Nozak–”

She jumps in immediately. “So we went to this nice restaurant that we booked weeks ago, the food was amazing and the cake was so good! And then we went to the Christmas market a few streets down, it was so pretty and the things they were selling at the booths were so cute too! We explored the market for a bit before wandering to see the Christmas lights they had on display! It was so amazing, Mikorin, it was the best Christmas I’ve ever had! Oh, and after that, we went to get some–” 

Mikoshiba stares at her in exasperation as she rambles on. Guess there isn’t a need to pull information out of her after all.

Looking away from her, he sees two familiar figures approaching.

He raises his hand in greeting. “Hey Mayu, Nozaki!”

“Morning Chiyo, Mikoshiba.” Nozaki waves back.

Sakura beams. “Hello Nozaki-kun, Mayu-kun!”

Mayu nods. “Mikoto-san, Chiyo-san. Good morning.”

“Hope we weren't too late.” Nozaki spares a look at his watch and looks thankful that they are on time.

“Not at all!”

Mikoshiba impatiently tugs at the handle of his suitcase. “Let’s get inside before I can’t feel my legs anymore.”

They head inside to the platforms and wait for their train. It arrives on time and they get on board to find their seats, which are on the same row but opposite sides next to each other.

Sakura leans over the train aisle to catch Mikoshiba and Mayu’s attention.

“By the way, Nozaki-kun and I are planning to visit the shrine on New Year's morning. Do you two want to come along?”

“Yeah, sure!” Mikoshiba pipes up instantly. “Mayu, we should go and pray for good fortune together.”

Mayu's gaze drops slightly. “Does it have to be in the morning?”

Nozaki nods his head eagerly. “The earlier the better! So we can avoid the crowd as much as possible!”

Mayu is biting back a sigh, that Mikoshiba can tell without a doubt.

Nozaki goes on to add enthusiastically, “And also I'll be able to observe the visitors for a while longer before it gets too crowded to get good references in!” 

Mikoshiba and Sakura exchange a long-suffering yet fond glance.

“Mikoto-san,” Mayu's quiet voice tugs his attention back to him, “you want to go?”

He thinks about it and nods.

Mayu stares at him for a beat longer. “...okay. Then we'll go.”

“Great!” Sakura presses her palms together in delight. “So that settles it, then. I'm really looking forward to it.”

Mikoshiba feels a weight on his shoulder. Peering from the corner of his eye, he finds Mayu has propped the side of his head onto Mikoshiba’s shoulder, already halfway to dozing off.

He chuckles softly. “Did that take so much out of you?”

“Need to…recharge...” Came the fading mumble.

“Whatever you say.” Mikoshiba presses his cheek against the top of Mayu's head, almost nuzzling into it.

“Sleep, Mayu. I'll wake you up when we're there.”

He spends the next few days at home. Usually he plays games during the holidays, but there is something about staying alone that makes one more prone to homesickness.

On the late night of New Year’s Eve, he huddles around the kotatsu with his parents as they watch the television. Noa, obviously, is curled up at the kotatsu and purring away without a care in the world.

Fifteen minutes to midnight, his phone buzzes with a new message.

From: mayu

i want to c kuro-chan

Mikoshiba scoffs, but not unfondly. 

From: Mikoto-san

it’s back in my apartment, why would i bring it back home? i’m only here for the new year

From: mayu

child negligence

From: Mikoto-san

HEY WHAT

i have been nothing but a doting and devoted father

which is more than you can say for yourself

From: mayu

i hug it when i sleep

From: Mikoto-san

so you're only using it for your own gains, you are truly father of the year

From: mayu

ty

From: Mikoto-san

OI

sHAMELESS

The enthusiastic sounds of counting down reels his attention back to the television. Even Noa is woken by the commotion and peers up lazily at the screen. The moment midnight strikes, he sends off a rapid message.

From: Mikoto-san

anyway happy new year mayu!!

here's to another year of good health, good-er grades, and good-est food!

From: mayu

hny mikoto-san

it will b

“Morning Mikoshiba!” Nozaki greets sunnily,  looking way too excited at this time in the morning. The sun has not fully risen, the sky is still painted with a languid dawn blue.

Sakura is the first to arrive as usual and waves cheerfully. “Good morning Mikorin!” 

“...” Mayu looks absolutely miserable and does not even have the slightest ounce of energy to speak. Mikoshiba holds back the urge from laughing at the grumpy scowl on his face.

As the other two walk on ahead, he falls into step with Mayu. Surreptitiously, he slips a hand inside Mayu's coat pocket to intertwine their fingers together. For Mayu's comfort, he will set aside his embarrassment for a few moments.

The way Mayu's shoulders relax helps to stave off his panic, too.

“I miss the blanket.”

“What blanket?”

“The one you gifted me during Christmas. I’ve been using it.”

Mikoshiba’s heart blooms with delight. “I'm glad you're using it!”

“I think of you when I use it.”

His cheeks may as well set aflame. He imagines Mayu thinking of him when he wraps himself up with the heated blanket, keeping warm and comfortable. Legs curled and eyes drooping.

“Mayu really is unfair…”

Mayu tilts his head with puzzlement and Mikoshiba staunchly refuses to elaborate.

Along the way, there are stalls set up on their path to the shrine. The savoury smell of food being prepared wakes Mikoshiba up. He is definitely going to get some to eat when he comes back down.

When they arrive at the shrine it is already peppered with fellow morning visitors. They wait in line for a while before it comes to their turn. Once they are at the front, they make their offerings and say a prayer.

“Let's get omikuji !”

They take turns shaking a wooden box until a numbered stick comes out of the small opening.

Mikoshiba goes to pull out his fortune based on the corresponding number. His heart races in anticipation as he reads it.

He got sho-kichi - small blessing. He breathes a sigh of relief - he’ll take that.

“What did everyone get?” Curious, Sakura sweeps an excited gaze across them all. 

Nozaki nods sagely. “I got sue-kichi . I hope to think that means my future is a bright one, which also entails the success of Let’s Fall in Love .”

“That’s great! I got chu-kichi !”

“A middle blessing, there is much to look forward to!”

Mayu huddles up to Mikoshiba to peek at his omikuji . Mikoshiba reads his fortune out loud for the rest.

Sakura smiles. “That’s pretty good too!”

Mikoshiba looks at Mayu. “What did yours say, Mayu?”

Mayu holds up his to read. “ Dai-kichi. ” Great blessing.

The three of them descend into varying levels of shock and awe. 

“As expected of my wonderful and talented younger brother, success awaits you no matter where you go!”

“That’s amazing, Mayu-kun! I’m excited to see what the year ahead brings!”

“That’s selfish of you, Mayu! Spare some of your blessings for me too!”

Mayu stares blankly at all of them. “Let’s get some food. I’m hungry.” Is what he chooses to say instead.

Mikoshiba scoffs lightly, but follows him regardless to see the food stalls set up outside the shrine. Nozaki stays to take some references for his manga and Sakura accompanies him.

The two of them walk along the stone path, letting their noses lead them as they wander around.

Mikoshiba picks up an unmistakable smell of something he’s been craving and tugs Mayu’s sleeve. “I can smell takoyaki. Let's get some!”

They find the takoyaki stall and get some to share. The smell of freshly made takoyaki makes Mikoshiba’s mouth water. Mayu holds up the container with both hands and looks expectantly at him.

Mikoshiba clicks his tongue. “So spoiled.”

And yet, he picks up a takoyaki ball and hand-feeds it to him. “Be careful, it’s hot.”

Mayu takes a small bite out of it, mindful not to burn himself.

“Is it good?”

Mayu nods, tongue darting out to lick some sauce that got caught on his upper lip. He doesn’t manage to get it entirely.

Mikoshiba stares. At the pink tongue. At the stubborn spot of sauce that Mayu missed.

“You still have–” He raises his hand to point at the corner of his own mouth. Mayu tries to lick again but still misses.

“No, it’s–why don’t I–” With a low sigh, Mikoshiba reaches out to wipe it from his lip. He cradles the side of Mayu’s face with his palm as he lightly brushes his thumb across the corner of Mayu’s mouth.

It is now Mayu’s turn to stare at him. Mikoshiba, oblivious to the attention, is now wondering how he should clean his thumb. He doesn’t have any napkins on him and is too lazy to ask the stall owner for some.

So, like any sleep-deprived university student who lives alone and therefore has momentarily forgotten his sense of etiquette and manners, he brings his thumb to his face and licks the sauce off of it.

He innocently looks up just in time to see Mayu’s expression of blank shock as if he has grown two heads.

“...What?”

Mayu works his jaw as if he wants to stay something but is struggling to get it out. After a tense moment, he glances back down.

“Nothing.”

Electing to ignore it, Mikoshiba points at the half-eaten takoyaki ball. “Want the next bite?”

Mayu shakes his head and instead picks it up. “...You can have it first.”

Mikoshiba shrugs and takes a bite of it. The skin is crispy and fragrant, the filling inside is gooey and flavourful and absolutely what he needs to warm him up in this weather. Mayu watches him closely as he takes a moment to savour the snack.

“That’s an indirect kiss, Mikoto-san.”

Mikoshiba coughs and almost chokes on his food.

Mayu looks away but Mikoshiba catches the amused glint in his eyes. Smug asshole. 

“You–You…! You’re clearly doing this on purpose! Every time I try to do something romantic, you somehow turn it around and pull it off. How do you keep doing that?”

Mayu tilts his head in bemusement. “Do what?”

Mikoshia huffs.

“I’ve been reading all those shojo manga to get inspiration on how to be a good boyfriend. So I tried a few of the things that the male love interests usually do, but every time I either don’t manage to do it or you get to it first! How am I supposed to be a good boyfriend if I end up being like the female protagonist all the time?”

Mayu observes him quietly for a few seconds. Mikoshiba resists the urge to cross his arms.

“You are fine the way you are.”

His brows furrow. “...Really?”

“Yes. Mikoto-san makes a good female protagonist.”

“Hey!”

“But also,” Mayu continues calmly, “You have been romantic, in your own way. And I can feel your sincerity. That's what matters to me.”

That renders him stunned and speechless. His mouth opens and shuts as he struggles to come up with a reply.

“Well, what am I supposed to say in response? There is nothing I can think of that can top that.”

“Then don't say anything.” Mayu raises the container. “You can continue feeding me.”

Mikoshiba rolls his eyes, but he does as told with a tender smile on his face.

On the fourth day of the new year, they all head back to the city together.

“Mikoto-san.” Mayu suddenly asks as the train is taking them to their destination. Outside, the world passes by in a blur. Next to them, Sakura and Nozaki are dozing off.

“Yes, Mayu?”

“Are you free today?”

“Yeah, why?” He cranes his neck to glance at Mayu, trying to decipher what the cautiously hopeful look in his eyes mean. “Do you wanna hang out for a bit?”

The pleased glint in Mayu’s eyes is all he needs to know and it ignites a spark of satisfaction in him. He’s getting better at reading Mayu by the day, and it fills him with indescribable happiness that he is one of the few who are able to understand Mayu.

Even back then when they were texting as their aliases, Mayu is one of the only ones who saw and understood Mikoshiba for who he truly is. He’s glad he’s been able to do the same.

With that revelation, Mikoshiba smiles. Mayu regards him, slightly perplexed, but Mikoshiba gently waves his concerns away.

When they arrive at their station, they part ways with Nozaki and Sakura.

“See you both! And happy new year!” Sakura waves at Mikoshiba and Mayu as they go their separate ways.

“Same to you!”

The sun does little to warm up the afternoon, but the streets are bright because of it so it lifts his spirits somewhat. He pulls his luggage along, which is now packed to the brim with snacks from home. It’s going to last him a good four weeks, maybe two since he is going to share them with Mayu.

Mayu walks quietly by his side. Without any prompting, he slides his hand against Mikoshiba’s and curls his fingers around it. Mikoshiba ducks his head and cannot stop himself from smiling, even though his face must be an impressive resemblance to the vast shades of tomatoes in a supermarket.

The first thing Mayu does when they enter Mikoshiba’s apartment is to greet the cat. “Kuro-chan.” 

“Yes, yes, there’s your child right there.”

“ Our child.” Mayu insists and Mikoshiba trips over his own feet. Thankfully, he rights himself back up before he crumbles onto the floor. Seemingly ignorant of the graceless dance happening behind him, Mayu puts his things to one side before going for the bed.

Crawling under Mikoshiba’s covers, he swiftly curls up into a ball and lets out a deep sigh. Mikoshiba stares at his balled up form fondly.

“Mikoto-san.”

“Hm?”

“Sleep with me.”

“Okay, sure– huh?! ”

Mikoshiba snaps his head to gawk at Mayu, who stares back blankly.

“Y-You want me to– what? ”

“Sleep. On your bed. ‘M tired.” He blinks, eyelids heavy with growing exhaustion.

Oh. That’s what he means.

“Sure…” Mikoshiba agrees shakily, still weak from his initial shock.

He crawls in after Mayu. Mayu shifts around and lifts his head so that when Mikoshiba settles in he can lay his head on his lap. After a beat of thought, he also reaches for Mikoshiba’s free hand and rests it on his chest.

Mikoshiba’s heart hammers against his ribcage. He is surprised that Mayu cannot hear how loud it is.

With half-lidded eyes and a slow, calm breathing, Mayu looks utterly content. Mikoshiba instinctively follows suit and whatever nervousness that plagues him before seeps out of him.

“Are you comfortable, Mayu?”

Mayu hums softly in agreement. “Soft, warm. Bed smells like you.”

If Mikoshiba hasn’t been subconsciously conditioned to relax every time Mayu gets sleepy on him, he would have launched himself out of his bed and scurried away out of pure embarrassment.

Instead, he uses his unoccupied hand to comb his fingers through Mayu’s hair.

“Hm, is that so? Then you can stay as long as you like.”

Mayu’s fingers that curl around his hand twitch. Craning his neck, he stares up at him with an indecipherable gaze.

Mikoshiba peers down at him.

“Mikoto-san.”

“Yes?”

Mayu opens his mouth, then closes it. After a beat, he pushes himself up so that they are eye-to-eye with each other. Planting his hands on the bed with Mikoshiba in between, he effectively brackets him with his arms. 

At this distance, their noses are almost touching. Mikoshiba sucks in a shallow breath. This is an awfully familiar scene.

“Mikoto-san.”

He is starting to think that Mayu just likes saying his name. “What is it, Mayu?”

“I want to kiss you.” He doesn’t phrase it like a question, but Mikoshiba knows the intention is there.

There he goes again, pulling off another romantic gesture that Mikoshiba has been trying to attempt.

But he finds that he is alright with this. More than alright, actually.

“Okay.”

Leaning forward, Mayu closes the gap between them. Even though this is not their first kiss, Mikoshiba still feels a tingle of nervousness at his inexperience.

Images of shojo manga kisses flash across his mind and Mikoshiba tries to emulate what he recalls. He tilts his head upwards and to the side and– oh, this is better .

Mayu’s lips slot against his more comfortably and their noses are no longer bumping against each other. Mayu is warm to the touch. The soft edges of his fringe brush against Mikoshiba’s forehead.

He sighs into the kiss, and in response Mayu presses in even further.

Mikoshiba pulls away when his chest starts burning from the lack of oxygen. Practice makes perfect, he supposes. But there are plenty of opportunities for them to become better at this.

Mayu looks into his eyes with a determined set in his jaw. “I want to stay.”

He raises a brow in question.

“You said I can stay as long as I like. So I want to stay.”

Mikoshiba chuckles. He raises his arms to wrap them around Mayu’s shoulders, pulling him into an embrace. Mayu melts and nuzzles into the crook of his neck. Mikoshiba won’t be surprised if he falls asleep like this.

“Okay, then stay.”

As much as the scenes from the shojo manga are romantic, nothing beats the realness of this.

Perhaps he doesn't need to be a male lead to experience a shojo manga romance of his own after all.