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Wade and Logan had been staying in the same room for weeks now. Wade had woken up numerous times with his face so close to Logan that he could hear his light, soothing breathing. It was the most relaxed Logan had been in months, no more screaming in the middle of the night, no more tossing or turning. It was honestly beautiful. However, it was fucking confusing and Al noticed this.
“Wade, is that you?” She was watching (listening, as Wade would say) TV in the living room when she heard rummaging behind her.
“Yes, Althea, it is me.” He said from the kitchen, still looking all over it for…something. She was unsure of what, but it had better not been her fucking bagels.
“What are you looking for? I can’t hear the fucking TV!” She yelled, shutting off the TV with the remote, deciding it made no sense if she couldn’t hear it.
“Oh, am I ruining your fifteenth game show for the morning? How about you get a job!” He snapped.
“My disability check is the only reason you eat every month!” She retorted. She felt a weight next to her on the couch suddenly, Wade.
“Notice how you said every month and not everyday, Granny. Anyways, Just because you can’t see me work doesn’t mean I don't.” He said, eating a bagel (he technically wasn’t supposed to be having). “Can you guys believe she tried hiding these from me! Fuck that.” He said, mouth full.
“What are you doing here then? Shouldn’t you be at your ‘so called’ job. Which is just criminal activity by the way.” Her lip snarled, her tone mocking. “And are you eating my FUCKING BAGELS?”
He decided it would be best for both of them if he ignored the last part. “Please, Al, I keep pedophiles and murderers off the streets better than the police.” He rolled his eyes, looking to the side as if talking to someone “And I don’t even have to racially profile to do it.”
Al sighed exasperatedly and Wade continued, “Anyways I’m facing a dilemma, wise old mouse.” He crossed his legs and leaned into the couch more.
“Is it about your boyfriend-” Al stopped herself and smirked “Sorry I mean, the man you share a room with every night.” She suddenly smelt cigarette smoke, when the fuck did Wade get a cigarette. And why did she smell burning bread? Fucker. Ignore it. Ignore it. Ignore it.
He exhaled the smoke, causing Al to cough. “We have decided on no labels, for you to assume anything is seriously homophobic. I thought you were better than this.” He took another drag.
“Can you smoke outside?” She coughed “ And did you two decide to use no labels or have you just not talked about it?”
“Can you do your cocaine outside, Althea, I mean seriously- there’s a child here.” He sighed, “You know, I may have to call CPS soon. And no, we haven’t talked about it because…it doesn’t warrant discussion!”
“God, I hate gay people.” She muttered to herself, “You think going to lay with a man every night doesn’t warrant a conversation?” She said it loudly so he would get it through his thick fucking skull.
“When did you become the Catholic Priest, okay!” He said, pretending to cry.
“Wade, be serious with me for a second.” She was becoming tired of this schtick. Every time a conversation made him uncomfortable he would turn it into a joke, no matter what.
Wade sighed, slumped down further into the couch and put his cigarette out on his leg, cursing silently in pain. Then he flicked it on the ashtray sitting on the coffee table. “Okay, What if he doesn’t like me that way and I’ve got this whole thing completely fucked in my head? That happens often.”
Al sighed and placed a hand on his leg, the same spot that he had put out the cigarette on so it hurt like a bitch. But, he kept his composure. “If I were you, I’d rather know than let myself be led on. And by the way, I can’t even see Logan and even I know that motherfucker is queer. He lets you sleep in his bed, he seems like the ‘walls built up high’ kinda guy but I feel like you’ve already broken a few of them down. Just talk to him. Before you get hurt.”
Wade cupped his palm to Althea’s cheek, startling her. “Thank you Althea, liking white men is a curse…please, pray for me. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some pedophiles and racist’s to contractually kill, though, I’d do it for free.” He kissed her cheek good-bye (which she hated) and made his way out of the apartment. He had a fuck-ton to think about which totally, didn’t give him anxiety AT ALL.
𖥸
“What movie are we watching tonight?” Wade said flopping his body onto the couch. Hello kitty pajamas readily on. Matched with Laura, naturally. It had become custom for him to partake in their Father-Daughter movie nights, which was just every night.
“Princess and the Frog! Daddy already promised me!” Laura whined, she hated false promises. She was clutching the DVD close to her chest and frowning.
“Don’t worry, Munchkin, nobody’s going to take Tiana away from you, except maybe Disney…racist fucks.” He mumbled the last part and Logan gave him a look that could mean one of two things 1. I’m going to kill you or 2. I’m going to kill you. “However, I do have to take it to put on the TV.” He reached over for the DVD and she gave it to him excitedly.
He popped the movie into the Blu-Ray player and sat next to Laura. Of course, Logan had fallen asleep first. It was hard for Wade not to stare, the guy looked so peaceful and his hair stood up extra high. Laura was snuggled into him, asleep as well. Wade felt like he was intruding on family time. He got up and tried to peacefully leave them, he didn’t deserve to enjoy this moment with them, he thought. He tried retreating back to the bedroom (still Logan’s) but was stopped by a small, squeaky voice. “Where are you going?” Laura was peeking up from the couch, rubbing her eyes.
Wade didn’t really know how to answer, why would he burden this child with his insecurities. He walked back over to the couch and stopped down to her height, smiling. “I thought you wanted to be alone.” Lying through his fucking teeth.
“You’re lying, clearly.” Laura deadpanned. When the fuck did a five year old learn how to read the lies of a grown man?
Wade chuckled softly, “Are you sleepy, Munchkin?” He desperately needed to change the topic.
She rubbed her eyes and yawned “Guess so.” She said, then looked down at her dad “So is daddy.”
“Well, I can take you to bed if you want?” He offered.
Laura smiled and jumped into his arms causing him to almost fall backwards. “Bedtime!” She whisper-shouted.
Wade scooped her up using his arms for better support and took her to her room. Mary Puppin’s was already asleep in Laura’s bed, her tongue moving every time she breathed, how (disgustingly) adorable. He placed Laura down gently so he wouldn’t disturb Mary Puppin’s. He tucked her in and kissed her forehead, she was asleep in seconds. It was sweet for Wade. Comforting, to watch her be so calm. He was about to leave the room when he heard the small voice, “Night, Papa.” She said softly, almost like she had said it in her sleep.
“Night, Munchkin.” Wade said equally as quietly.
Holy shit, this was going to fuck him up for weeks.
𖥸
FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. Wade was in shambles, eating his way through Al’s bagels and crying trying to think of an answer to this very confusing problem. Al had mentioned talking to Logan but what did she know about relationships, she lived with two twinks and a little girl (okay that one was just mean, plus, even if Logan was gay or bi or whatever- he was DEFINITELY not a twink). Logistics aside, Wade was fucked. Googling ‘what does it mean when another man’s child calls you papa’ didn’t help jack shit. He was in the gutter now, he had only one person to turn to if Google wouldn’t help.
“ALTHEA!” He exclaimed, banging pots and pans together to wake her up (Laura and Logan already out of the house).
“Why couldn’t God take my hearing.” She mumbled to herself, sitting up straight in bed. “What is it fuck-knuckle?”
“That one’s new,” he exhaled, putting the pots and pans down on the bed and getting in close under the covers to Al. He leaned his head on her shoulder, “What does it mean when another man’s child calls you Papa.”
“It means you need to take a paternity test and not talk to me.” She shook her shoulders to get him off of her.
“No! You’re hearing this all wrong!” He grumbled. “Laura, she called me Papa, I tucked her into bed and she called me that.”
“What’s the issue?” Al just wanted to go back to sleep and get this annoying prick out of her room.
“WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN, ALTHEA? You’re supposed to be wise, magical… African American type, without the racism! COME ON!” He moved around on the bed uncomfortably. Similar to a toddler having a tantrum.
“Are you calling me a magical negro fuck-face?” Her eyebrows furrowed, this dumb mother fucker- didn’t help that he was annoying either.
“I LITERALLY NEVER SAID THAT!” He exclaimed, getting up suddenly. “Seriously, Al, do I tell Logan…do I not? So many decisions…”
“You could literally just talk to him about whatever homoeroticism is going on between you two.” She said bluntly, he hated that she was right.
Wade’s cold palm tapped her cheek “I hate that you’re right, Al! Kisses, go back to bed!”
𖥸
“Logan! We need to talk about whatever homoeroticism is going on here…Al’s words not mine.” He said when they laid in bed together that night. Logan was reading peacefully and Wade was stressing, naturally.
Lpgan turned to him, took off his reading glasses and just stared “What the fuck did you just say?” He seemed genuinely confused.
“Baby bear, we can’t lie this way.” Wade cooed.
Logan’s claws were at his throat immediately “Say that again.”
“Wow, how I’ve missed this but not right now you, Whore.” Wade moved Logan’s hand down, “Why do you let me sleep here every night, seriously?”
Logan sighed, took a few minutes to respond “I don’t know…” He seemed nervous “You…help me sleep, I guess?” He said it as if he was unsure of it himself, or just pretending to be unsure- hard to say.
Wade’s face reddened ever so slightly, “What are we doing?” He asked, his usual demeanor fading into a more sincere one.
“What do you mean? Wade I have work tomorrow-“ Logan said, already reaching for the lamp.
“I mean, we sleep in the same bed every night, we wake up cuddling, I join in on your family movie nights and oh yeah- Laura called me ‘Papa’ the other night.” He was overwhelmed.
Logan’s eyes widened, threatening to disjoint from his skull. “She did?” He said it softly, “I’m…” He swallowed the pool of saliva forming in his mouth, “Sorry.”
“No, it’s alright.” Wade reassured, “I just need to know, what this is for you…because for me it’s … it’s-“ He couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence, or have this conversation right now in all honesty. “How about we talk about this a different time, Night Wolvie.”
“Night.” Logan did not sleep that night.
𖥸
Logan had a love-hate relationship with the weekend. On one hand he was promised relaxation, on the other hand it was impossible for him to relax with all the thoughts that plagued his mind constantly.
“Something bothering you?” Al seemingly appeared beside him on the couch, this was becoming a trend.
“How did you-“ He slightly jumped, startled. “Know I was here.”
“This apartment isn’t that big and I could hear you crying.” She said, placing a hand on his shoulder. It was more comforting than he thought it’d be. “Talk to me.”
He wiped his cheeks instantly, “There’s nothing to talk about.” He said, sternly.
Al groaned “I’m sick of you grown ass white men bullshitting me, now talk.”
Logan growled back at her, she wasn’t fazed by it. “Fine, Wade asked me: ‘what we’re doing’. How am I supposed to answer that?”
“Maybe, look inside yourself for the answer instead of constantly repressing.” She spoke.
“The only thing I'm going to find is a hollow shell, I haven’t known how to love anyone that way since…” He thought of Mariko and closed his eyes tightly. “Doesn't matter.”
“That’s the attitude that’s got you in this situation now. Let me ask you, why do you let Wade sleep in your bed?”
He thought for a moment, uncomfortably silent. “He just…he makes it easier to sleep I guess.”
“You guess or you know?” Al questioned, she was sick of the bullshit answers and the tiptoeing on egg shells from these two.
“I know.” He mumbled begrudgingly, “I don’t know how I feel.” He sighed.
Al shook her head from side to side, lips pursed before she spoke. “Yes, you do. You’re just too scared to know the answer. You know Laura called him, Papa, Right?”
Logan retreated into himself almost instantly, thinking a million things. Did he think of Wade that way? Had he been keeping that part of himself down so long that it had become obsolete? “He told me…we just didn’t really talk about it.” He said more to himself than Al.
“You guys are pathetic. I know you like him, the only person you’re gonna be hurting is yourself if you keep denying it…well scratch that- you’ll also be hurting Wade. Figure your shit out.” Al got up, “And tell Wade to please stop eating my fucking bagels before I find a way to kill him myself.”
That got a chuckle out of Logan, he nodded. “Will do, Althea.” She smiled and walked back to her room.
𖥸
”You asked me what we are.” Logan said one night as he and Wade were getting ready for bed, putting away things and fixing the covers comfortably so it wouldn’t be so tight.
“A week ago, yeah.” Wade said, getting into bed.
“I thought about it.”
“Woah, when did you learn how to do that?” Wade joked, it was clear Logan was not however.
“I was scared.” He reached for Wade’s hand “Scared to admit it because I’m not good…at this, but, I think I like you.”
“Yeah, I get that a lot. You have to be more specific.” Wade smiled.
Logan rolled his eyes, “You're insufferable.” He didn’t say it like he meant it though, this time the words carried no real weight. “God, I'm terrible at this. I think that I let you sleep here because you make me feel safe and comfortable. You ease my nightmares and I like holding you, I always pretend to be asleep when I do it but…I never am.” He hated being sappy. He grunted, “Yeah.”
Wade looked at him lovingly “Why don’t you just kiss me, Baba?” He took Logan’s usual “Bub” and made it more his style.
Logan smiled, grabbing hold of his face and kissing him. It started slow and gentle, all things Wade never expected Logan would be with him. But soon it became more hungry, animalistic. Wade leaned into the kiss, smiling whenever he got the chance (and his breathing back). It was absolutely perfect, sloppy and messy but full of something he hadn’t felt in a long time, genuine romantic love.