Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Being completely honest, I’ve been feeling off ever since the whole incident that happened. Just a case of a twisty robo stomach since, yknow, the whole fiasco with the planet, Cyn, V, all that jazz. Don’t get me wrong, I realllllyyyyy didn’t care at first.

Like, it wasn’t my problem. V and the gang had it under control, and the only serious inconvenience I had was that stupid dingo V brought with her that had it out for me for whatever reason. Overall, no biggie.

It’s just that, I didn’t notice until much later that my former bestie Doll had gone on her own little adventure again (she always went on little adventures, always sent me awesome selfies too) and may have met a very gruesome demise.

And no, I wasn’t distressed. She did throw me across the room during prom, after all. Who the hell does that? And no, I didn’t drag her corpse all the way back to her dorm with the aid of V. And maybe, just maybe, I might’ve scrolled through some photos of us two last night instead of sleeping.

I mean, she was kinda my only close friend before V. I might have been a little sad, but that’s it. Robo-God, I’m not telling anyone about that. Just thinking about it makes me sick, ew.

“Aaaaaand that’s how I learned nightmares are real and we probably should’ve stayed behind the ol’ doors!”

Oh right, we’re watching that purple haired loser talk about the whole Cyn fiasco. Ugh, her voice is SO annoying. It’s piercing my eardrums. I hear a loud cheer from the room and know that's her equally annoying now boyfriend N.

V and I boo her from the back table. N yells out “THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND!” from where he’s very loudly cheering and I want to smack my head into my table. Why are they so cheesy? It’s disgusting.

I roll my eyes, and as I do that, I accidentally catch a glimpse of Doll’s lifeless body sitting in the corner of the room. My stomach does that weird twisty thing again. Oh right, I forgot we brought her here. Uzi was definitely weirded out, but I just wanted girlie to see the trainwreck unfold. Yknow.

As V and I finish our booing, I lean my head on my shoulder, avoiding looking at Doll again. V doesn’t really react, as N gives her a piece of paper with some horrendously drawn anime pictures. I look at him with pure confusion because ew? Maybe get better at drawing before you show people your drawings.

I think V smiled at him, which confuses me even more. I can’t even think right now, actually. I stay in my leaning position, resting my head on V’s arm and listening to the music we were listening to during the presentation.

“Also now I can do THIS!”

Aaaaand Uzi got out her wings. She has two of those solver thingamajig symbols on both of her hands and her tail is sticking out. She let out an evil laugh as everyone around us screamed in horror. I just looked at her unamused. Whatever, I’ve already seen her with wings and I lived. Dunno what everyones screaming about.

Seeing those symbols made me think of Doll again. Robo-God, I need to stop thinking of Doll. It’s making me feel sick. I clung onto V’s arm, burying my face into her shoulder. Ew, why am I doing that? I look like a 5 year old, honestly.

As people recovered from Uzi’s “super spectacular” trick (N’s words) and started chatting to each other, V nudged my shoulder. “Yo,” she says, “You look tired. Wanna dip?”. And yeah, I do wanna dip, because I don’t want to be here with purple loser and moron bot any longer.

And uh, Doll’s corpse too. It’s actually making me queasy.

V and I walk out of the classroom. Luckily, the teacher didn’t see, he was too busy slamming his face into the desk. As we walk out we see Uzi’s dad standing outside, trying to get another glimpse at her.

V turns a corner and when we don’t see anyone she faces me. She puts a hand on my shoulder.

“You good?” she asks, “You’ve been quiet since we got back here. And you look tired as well. Did you sleep last night? Or eat?” V’s questions caught me off guard, because she isn’t normally THIS concerned for me. N’s probably making her soft. Gross.

“Chillax, girl, of course I did,” I lied. I think I only got, like, 3 hours of sleep actually. “And yeah, I’m good. Just recovering from all the weird spooky planet eating stuff, that's all. Great job out there, by the way. You kicked ass.”

I could’ve sworn I saw her blush, but I could just be seeing things. I felt a blush of my own but I quickly swatted my screen and it went away. V shook her head, “Alright, but I did notice you eyeing Doll during Uzi’s presentation. Are you sure you’re good?”

Shit.

“Uhhhh, yeah! Yeah totally! Just was worried her corpse would get oil everywhere. Besides, we’re holding a ceremony in honour of her, and it’s going to be fricken sick. Honestly, Rachel should’ve been the one to get murdered. Have you SEEN that girl!? She’s, like, a snake.”

I’m rambling on for way too long, I’ve realised. V’s looking at me with the most unenthusiastic look ever.

“No repressed sad feeling present whatsoever. Yeahhhhh. Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta prepare for it, because it's in 2 days. Wanna join?” I ask her. V glances back at the classroom.

“I’ll catch up later. Gotta make sure Ms Hot Topic doesn’t blow up the classroom.” she says. I roll my eyes, but I give her a little fist bump and she makes her way back to the classroom while I run back to my dorm.

Okay, all I gotta do is keep my composure until Doll’s ceremony. Then it’ll be fine, and I can stop having these complicated stupid feelings I’ve been having.

Because feelings are for losers. And I am not one of those losers.

Chapter Text

“Doll Babe-A-Tron Queenthousand??” Uzi asked.

Lizzy has invited a lot of us here to prepare for Doll’s ‘ceremony’. Well, she invited me, Uzi, N and V, but that’s still quite a lot. Although Uzi and Lizzy are kinda disagreeing on stuff.

“Well, yeah, I gotta give her a fabulous name to do her justice, duh!” Lizzy shot back. Uzi shot another glare at her and leaned back into N, who stroked her head and smiled at her. They both blushed at each other.

Seeing Uzi date N was a little weird at first, because I could’ve sworn Uzi found me cute a bit ago. She literally called me a “conventionally attractive male” when V attacked me for the first time. I don’t really mind now though, she seems really happy with N.

“Um, earth to love bots? We have a ceremony to plan!” Lizzy said, annoyed. V rolled her eyes and the other two sighed before focusing back on the plan.

“I can make a bunch of balloons!” N suggested. Lizzy scribbled “balloons” in her pink notebook and nodded, “We could do that, I guess. Hey V, any ideas?” Lizzy kicked her feet while looking at V, who got an unhinged smile on her face.

“Big, red letter balloons that spell out ‘DEAD.’” she said instantly. Lizzy stiffened up a bit and Uzi’s eyes became hollow. My eyes went hollow as well. Uzi shook her head and rolled her eyes, “Yeesh, I thought you were done with the unhinged stuff.”

“What? This is my way of saying “Rest in peace”. I’m still not fully over everything she did to us, remember. Trying to kill me, trying to kill you, caused a whole lotta problems, practically tried to kill me AGAIN with the dingoes, yada yada-”

“Uh, we’re getting a bit off track here,” I began, “I have an idea! How about I do a sick as hell dance in honour of Doll? On stage as well. I’ll get everyone's jaws on the floor!” I pulled a sick pose to further amplify my point. Lizzy hesitated, but added “Thad’s sick as hell dance” to her notebook.

“Sure, whatever. Just don’t, like, do that stupid breakdance like you did at the prom last time. That was SO embarrassing.” she giggled. I glared at her, but didn’t object. I thought the dance was cool. Honestly, Lizzy needs to stop being such a bi-

“GUYS, guys!” Uzi exclaimed suddenly, startling mostly everyone in the room, “This is a MEMORIAL, not a party! We’re doing this so that everyone knows that Doll’s death wasn’t in vain. Y’know, despite trying to kill us and all that.”

Lizzy put her hand to object, but Uzi kept talking. I leaned in a bit to listen to what she was saying.

“She died alone, with no one to help her. Her last message to me was “fight back”. And fight back I did, and we beat Cyn’s ass! But still, Doll didn’t deserve what she got, even if she did some awful things on the way.”

The room was silent. Uzi paused for a moment, realising all she said. She blushed.

“Yeesh, dramatic much?” Lizzy quipped, but I could’ve sworn I saw her lip quiver for a second. V noticed too, and she shot her a concerned look. Lizzy didn’t meet her gaze.

“Shut up! All I’m saying is don’t go overboard on the party stuff, ‘kay? God.” Uzi huffed and grabbed N’s hand. N smiled and said, “You should do a speech in honour of her. What you said could be great for an inspirational speech about her.”

“Mmm, I dunno.” Uzi mumbled.

“I could help you if you want,” N offered. Uzi sighed, before nodding, “Yeah, sure, whatever.” N giggled and gently kissed her hand, making her blush a little.

“Ew,” Lizzy muttered.

Lizzy added a few finishing touches to the slide before presenting it to the group “Voila!” she exclaimed happily, clearly proud of what she made.

Uzi gave a questioning look to the slide while I raised an eyebrow at some of the wording she chose. She shot a look at V, who gave us a ‘don’t bother’ look. Lizzy blinked, waiting for a reaction.

“Wow Lizzy, this is great!” Uzi lied, “I’m sure Doll would’ve loved it! Can’t wait for the ceremony!” Uzi gave a thumbs up.

“Yeah, it looks awesome,” I said, side eyeing V, “I especially love the different pictures you chose for it! So uh, that's us all sorted, right?” I glanced at Lizzy.

“Yeah, we’ve sorted everything out. You can all get lost now. Except for you, V, you can stay and hang out if you want.” Lizzy winked at V. V blushed a little at the wink. Huh. Do they have a thing going on?

I mean, besties can be besties, but they’ve gotten really close these past couple of days. One sometimes makes the other blush. They share headphones to listen to music a lot as well. I’m not one to assume, but if they are a thing, that’s cool.

“I said GET LOST!” Lizzy snapped suddenly, “God, you two are so corny, I can’t take it right now!” She started shoving Uzi and N out of her dorm, who were giggling to each other.

Huh, Lizzy’s also been really snappy lately. She keeps yelling at everyone, mainly Uzi and N. Lizzy does have her bad moods, but this has been a constant thing recently. Maybe she’s still salty over Sparky.

I quickly walked out of her dorm room, throwing a quick wave to her and V, as well as Uzi and N, before running back to my dorm. I’ve got a ceremony to prepare for.

Chapter Text

“Alright, idiots. Don’t mess anything up,” I snapped. I brushed off my pretty dress, and with a smile I walked up to the microphone.

The ceremony has been fine so far. Could be better, honestly. No one has any energy, ugh. And I’ve been in the foulest mood all day, not to mention my stomach feels a bit funny. Eh, it probably isn’t too serious. The show must go on, as they say.

I cleared my throat loudly into the microphone, catching the attention of everyone. I took a glance at the papers in my hand before starting.

“Alright, losers, today we’re all gathered here to mourn our Queen and girl, Doll.” I began, nodding to Thad to pull up the fabulous slide I-er, we made, “As you all know, she may have gone a little crazy with the prom a few months ago, but like I said, forgive and forget.”

Thad pulled a dumb pose as I spoke. It took everything in my power not to slap him with my papers. Whatever, at least he had energy, I guess. The other three looked like they were on the verge of falling asleep.

“According to Miss Freaky over there,” I pointed at Uzi, who stuck her tongue out at me like a toddler, “Her heart got frickin slurped and she died alone n’ stuff, which she totally didn’t deserve. You know who DID deserve it?”

I pointed another finger at Rachel in the crowd, who gave a glare back.

“Rachel, you like, actually suck. And that’s coming from me! You’re an actual snake, Rachel! And no, you can’t sit with us, I went over this before!” 

“At least I’m not friends with a freak of nature!” she called back from the crowd. For a second, I thought she was talking about Miss Freaky, but no, she was pointing a finger at V. The nerve! 

“HEY! DON’T TALK ABOUT MY BFF THAT WAY!” I yelled.

This went on for longer than it probably should’ve, but Rachel deserved it. After what she did to me last year, she had it coming. I was so distracted by yelling at her that I didn’t notice Uzi had grabbed the microphone from me until she pushed me away.

“Yeah, Yeah, thanks Lizzy, anyway I have a speech to give,” Uzi sighed. I paused, but not before sticking up a middle finger at Rachel. I forgot Freakazoid over here was doing a speech. I folded my arms as Uzi gave her speech.

“As you all know, Doll was a great addition to our school, and we’re all going to miss her greatly.” she began, reading her speech out in a monotone voice.

“I know she did a lot of damage to the prom last year, but she had a reason. It still sucked, but she wasn’t doing it just for fun. 

“She was having her own issues before she passed. She fought as hard as she could, trying to prevent the solver from taking her over, but the solver was too strong.”

Uzi started to speak a bit louder. I listened to what she was saying, imagining Doll fighting the solver, trying to win against it.

“She died all alone, with no one to help her. This is why we are holding this ceremony, to remember her and not to forget how much she tried. Besides, she kinda understood how I felt when I was still getting used to the solver. It was…almost nice.

“That’s all from me, though. We will all miss Doll. And Lizzy, I know you probably miss her a lot, too. She was your friend after all. Anyway, if I keep being sappy I’m gonna be sick, so I’m done.”

The auditorium was dead silent. Uzi shuffled around nervously, waiting for some kind of reaction.

The silence was so quiet it was actually making me mad, so I snatched the mic off her and screamed, “CLAP IDIOTS!” and the auditorium was filled with applause. It wasn’t loud enough. “CLAP HARDER!” I barked, gradually losing my composure. There. That’s better. 

The music started up again and people went back to dancing. I dropped the microphone, practically boiling with anger.

Making Uzi do a speech was a mistake. What a loser. I shouldn't have let her do it. That idiot, what was she thinking doing that!? She probably brought the mood down by her voice alone, stupid bitch, stupid stupid stupid-

“You okay, Lizzy? You’re shaking. Do you need something to drink?” N asked, putting a hand on my shoulder. His touch felt like a physical attack on me and I swatted his hand violently away.

“I’M FINE! Don’t touch me!” I snapped, “I just-I’m gonna go dance! In the crowd! Bye!” And with that I stormed off the stage and planted myself in the middle of the crowd of dancing people. I saw Uzi shrug before hopping off the stage and inviting N to dance with her. Hopefully, they won’t make the mistake of bothering me.

I feel sick.

The music is way too loud and the feeling of peoples gross bodies bumping into me and crushing me is very unpleasant. Ugh. Does anyone in this crowd frickin shower?

That’s not the main thing that's bothering me though. I can’t stop thinking about Uzi’s speech. It made me feel so…bad. Yucky, like I ate something bad. Sappy speeches don’t normally make me feel this bad. Normally I don’t care.

It’s because it was about Doll, wasn’t it?  Because it involved my bestie of 4 years that died two weeks ago and that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about. Because I no longer have her to joke around with, right? No, I have V. It’s not a big deal. I’m fine.

I pulled out my phone from my pocket and scrolled through the messages of V and I. The jokes we shared within the last three weeks, the little conversations we had. It took me out of my bad thoughts for a moment, just a moment.

Then, I scrolled a little more.

And I saw the message V sent to me on that day. The day I thought I was going to lose V too.

***

Friday, 12:30

hey girl, how's the mission going

hope its not 2 boring LMAO

Also hope u feel better after the whole hacking thing :3 

thanks, i feel better now the hacking things over lol

missions kinda annoying so far, but not terrible

how u holdin’ up

fine, altho dad is being supr annoying about me being on my phone 2 much

Like, ur not the boss of me XD

Lol

oop, gotta talk later, very crazy stuff happening

ooooo fill me in after its over

will do, latr gurl 

Friday, 1:45 AM

Uh

Liz

I might be in an emergency

Huh? Whats up?

I dont have much time, but I need u to do something for me

Please

Track down J. shes the one who attacked you guys the first time u saw me

Pigtail lady?

Yeah her

Sure bestie :3

And uh

Were in a lot bigger danger than you think

Please take this seriously, lizzy

Please

Dont freak out, i gotchu ;)

One more thing

I dont know how much longer ill be here

?

Im in a very bad situation lizzy

I

I dont know if i can come back from this

And i dont know if i want to atp

???

Liz, if you dont see me again, thank you for being my friend

Even if u did betray me n stuff

Forgive and forget, right?

What are you talking about?

In the short time i knew you, you were one of the more 

tolerable worker drones

I always liked that about u

This isnt funny, v

Stop it /srs

Im sorry

Goodbye lizzy <3

Im serious

Stop it

v?

Answer v

Youre freaking me out

v

v

V

V THIS ISNT FUNNY ANYMORE

V???

V ANSWER YOUR FUCKING PHONE 

V

PLEASE LET THIS BE SOME SORT OF SICK JOKE

V????

V PLEASE

I

I need you

Please dont leave

V…

Chapter Text

No

No

No

I can feel the tears in my eyes. This can’t be happening. There’s no WAY I'm about to cry in a giant crowd. Everyone can see me. I need to get out of here. NOW.

I pushed my way through the crowd, tears threatening to spill. I looked at the floor, trying my hardest to find my way out of the crowd. I need to get out.

“Hey, Lizzy! Great ceremony, huh?” I heard someone call out. I didn’t do anything except shove my way out of the crowd, feeling a sob claw at my throat. After what felt like too long, I was finally at the doors of the auditorium.

I swung them open and ran.

I ran as fast as I could, tears finally spilling. A choked sob came out of my mouth as I ran through doors and ran through hallways. By the time I reached the big doors, I was out of breath, sobbing violently, and had a messy face.

I grabbed my dad’s ID from my pocket and slammed it against the ID reader. The big doors groaned as they opened and I ran to the next one.

Three big doors later, I was outside. It was cold, and there was a light storm happening. And no one was here. No one was here to watch what was going to happen.

All of the anger, sadness, fear and grief I didn’t even know I was holding exploded out of me in one big scream. I cried the hardest I’ve ever cried in my life and I sank to the floor, tears flowing out of my eyes like a waterfall.

If I were anywhere else at this point in time, I would be dying of embarrassment. But no one is here. No one can see me at my worst. They can only see me at my best. 

I hugged myself against the storm as I cried and cried. I can’t hide it anymore, I miss Doll so fucking much. I miss her. I miss her blank face, I miss her stupid ramblings about her parents and her plans about V. 

I miss how we used to hang out, I miss our stupid teasing towards Uzi and everyone else, I miss her voice, I miss her eyes, I miss her accent, I miss her weird wizard powers. I miss everything about her.

I miss her.

And it fucking hurts.

It hurts that she's dead.

The crunch of snow interrupts my thoughts. Fuck, someones out here. I want to run away, melt into the snow and never return, but I can’t move. It hurts too much. I hope it isn’t Uzi or N, they're the last people I want to see right now.

The person knees down next to me. I can slightly see who it is. It’s V. She looks at me with an expression of concern and awkwardness, like she doesn’t know what to say. I try to say something, but I can’t, I'm hyperventilating and sobbing too hard.

V reaches over. I flinch for a moment, but I stop as she pulls me into a hug. I feel like in any other situation I would protest, but this is…nice. Almost. I wrap my arms around her frame, sobbing into her chest.

“I m-miss her, V,” I whimpered like a toddler, “I-I miss her s-so much. I-it hurts.” I clung at V like she was going to disappear. I was shaking as she held me in her arms and stroked my head.

“Shh, it’s okay, I know,” she whispered. She continued the head stroking, shushing me as I let out all of the pain and hurt I’d been holding in for two weeks straight. Everything felt so shitty in that moment, but having V there with me made me feel a little less shitty.

We sat there for a good while under the moon as the storm raged around us. Just two losers, one lost in her feelings, the other helping her through them.

***

Saturday, 10:25 pm

Sup

OH MY GOD

YOU GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK

DONT DO THAT ASSHOLE

Srry

I genuinely thought i was gunna die back there but nah

Sentinel was pretty chill actually

Sentinel???

Dw about it lol

Uh

Im looking for j rn with thad

The jock guy

Dumb jock guy

Oh fr?

Nice

Yuh

Hes asking who im texting

Not telling him its you LOL

LMAO

Also i got a sick pic

Watch this

*sparky.png*

I lived btch ;)