Chapter 1: Pilot Episode
Chapter Text
“You know what? I’m just going to say it. This is possibly the worst idea any of you have ever come up with, and in there I am including Rayne’s bunny pool and Tsurara’s portable multi- insides heater trained for organs. Kaldo’s honey-covered sashimi is a topic I don’t think any of us want to hear about.”
—Sophina Biblia, the Knowledge Cane, upon being informed.
[A quick cut to a title card written in neat calligraphy shows that the show’s title is called, Keeping Up With the Divine Visionaries: A true to life Reality TV Show, starring the pillars of our world. How this managed to get sponsored, no one knows, but it probably has something to do with Ryoh Grantz.]
*
[The camera cuts to an analog-footage style recording of RAYNE AMES and DELISASTER BLOWELIVE, two Divine Visionaries referred together as the astoundingly original name of the ‘Weapon Canes’. RAYNE looks unimpressed. DELISASTER is half asleep on his shoulder.]
RAYNE: Before anyone has any ideas, this whole thing was Ryoh’s idea. So if you have any complaints about the footage being shown, you should go to him instead.
DELISASTER, looking very tired: Mmm… Renatus helped too, I think. Heard ‘im talking about it in the break room. Haaahh… I miss my teeth…
RAYNE: …Right. There’s your two culprits. Now get out of our faces, or Delisaster might start biting.
DELISASTER, sadly: Can’t… They stole my teeth…
RAYNE, leaning into the camera and whispering: He got his wisdom teeth removed yesterday and he’s still loopy as hell. I didn’t know laughing gas could last that long, but I guess I was wrong.
DELISASTER: Rayne… my teefies…
RAYNE, to Delisaster: Yes, I know. It’s gonna be alright. (To the cameraman) What the hell are you still looking at? I said go!
*
[Sitcom styled music blares from an unknown location on the set as the camera pans to footage of KALDO GEHENNA trying to teach LANCE CROWN, newly appointed Divine Visionary, how to conduct proper experiments. AGITO TYRONE is standing near the back of the room and watching guard.]
“You know, if you do this way, Tsurara might really try to kill you for messing up her laboratory space,” Kaldo sighs. He is holding a jar of honey and seems to be taking sips directly from the jar, as if the substance was some sort of soda. “Lance, you can’t just operate that with no sense of what you’re doing—”
“Oh, shit. I think I pressed the wrong button.” Half the lab seems to burst up into flames simultaneously somehow, making Agito’s eyes bug out and Kaldo open his in shock.
“Lance, what did you—”
“Hold on, I can fix this—”
“W-wait, Lance, you can’t just—!”
“ GRAVIOLE!”
[The camera feed cuts. Agito Tyrone can be heard praying in the background as Orter Madl enters the room and sighs. Someone can be heard asking, ‘What do we fucking pay you for?’ before the audio cuts out as well.]
*
[We now pan to a shot of the labs, again. This time, it is TSURARA HALESTONE and her apprentices who are in the shot.]
“Brr… it’s cold…” Tsurara weeps as she wipes at her cheeks.
Her interns, Wirth Madl and Carpaccio Luo-Yang exchange glances before looking back at her. “Right, but about what we were saying…”
“Oh, t-that? Yes, your project… c-can be done pretty easily, I think… the proposal is solid, and the method seems sound and not morally bankrupt enough to warrant any suspicion…” Tsurara considers it for a moment. “Though, are you sure you want to do it with the subjects you two have chosen?”
“Is there something wrong with the subject choice?” Wirth questions. Tsurara shrugs.
“N-nothing wrong with it, but… Wirth, Lance already beat you once, didn’t he?”
“Didn’t he explode half your lab?” Carpaccio points out. The camera pans to behind him, where it’s revealed that a good chunk of the lab has been fenced off by caution tape and red rope. Tsurara narrows her eyes at the students, before seemingly giving up and deciding to choose her battles better next time.
“F-fine, go ahead. But you two… need to send me the results.”
“Right, because you’re totally not planning to use it on blackm—”
[The camera and audio feed cut out here.]
*
“Oh, wow. This was a great idea,” Renatus Revol says as he reviews the camera footage. “The people are gonna eat this shit up.”
“Hmm… well, it’s good, I’ll admit,” Ryoh Grantz acquiesces. “However, I think there could be at least one improvement made.”
Renatus sighs. “Is it—”
“That’s right!” Ryoh Grantz immediately strikes a jojo pose, leaning so far back it’s a miracle he stays balanced at all. “We need more of the fan favourite, everyone’s most beloved Ryoh Grantz! ”
[Somewhere from behind the camera, an invisible audience cheers and claps. Renatus barely bats an eye, having already been accustomed to this sort of improbable occurrence. That’s what exposure therapy does, folks.]
“Well… I mean, I’m sure that can be managed,” Renatus says. He squints into the air for a second before nodding his head, seemingly having received some invisible sign. “Yeah, yeah. We can do that. Though, I think if we’re going to go through with this, we may need some extra precautions.”
“Oh? Like what?”
“Like… thicker walls, probably,” Renatus says as he points to a hole in the wall with his still attached arm. A stray Ascalon lies on the floor with Renatus’ severed arm laid atop of it, presumably being the weapon that severed the appendage in the first place. “Delisaster’s aim is unfortunately still as good as ever, even when he’s high off his ass.”
“Ah,” Ryoh says, closing his eyes. “You may be right about that being a problem.”
*
ORTER: This TV show isn’t… that bad of an idea, I guess.
SOPHINA, from behind the camera: He’s only saying that because Ryoh promised a fool-proof method to reconcile with Wirth if he sponsored them! You know throwing sand at me won’t change the facts, Orter!
ORTER: How many words do you think you’ll be able to say out loud when I shove your mouth full of sand?
SOPHINA: Try it, old man. You’ll probably trip flat on your face and break your back in the process.
ORTER: Why, you piece of—
[The camera quickly cuts before the recording can be used as court evidence.]
*
[The camera shows security-style footage of WIRTH and CARPACCIO watching LANCE in his office quarters.]
“I like how Tsurara specified that this wasn’t ethically bankrupt enough to get the board of directors to tell her not to do it,” Wirth muses as they observe through their hidey hole. Carpaccio’s face makes something that could possibly be mistaken for a smile. It seems they are waiting for the visionary to notice the two little plush dolls sitting on the edge of his desk behind the pencil holders.
Lo and behold, their target notices the two dolls as soon as he approaches the desk. Though there are no microphones in the office to record through, Lance’s surprise and subsequent contentment is clear.
“Those are dolls of Dot Barett and Anna Crown, the subject’s crush and little sister respectively,” Carpaccio outlines helpfully for the camera, which cannot show very high-quality footage. “Our current goal for observation here is to see how Lance Crown will react to and treat the dolls on a hypothesis of how people tend to assign sentience to obviously non-sentient things… on the basis of their resemblance to something they like.”
“We currently only have one subject, but we’d be glad to take more,” Wirth adds, non-helpfully. “Oh, look at what the subject is doing, Carpaccio.”
“Right… it looks like he’s… are those crochet needles?”
Sure enough, Lance Crown has pulled out a pair of needles and a large ball of yarn and started to create a pattern.
“Wow. Look at him go,” Wirth says. They watch him in silence for a few minutes before Wirth adds on, “At this rate, we’ll have this experiment wrapped up by the end of the week.”
“That man is insane,” Carpaccio, another certifiably insane person, says with a hint of wonder in his voice.
In the other room over, Tsurara watches the security footage of her two proteges with an expression akin to exasperation. Agito, who passes by the two in their nook in the wall, quickly averts his eyes and walks away even faster.
*
[The camera opens to a shot of RAYNE and DELISASTER relaxing on the community pull-out couch. DELISASTER is sprawled out across RAYNE, who is scrolling on his laptop. The shot is quiet for a few minutes before Delisaster speaks.]
“Oh, they finally replied to my visitation request,” Delisaster says casually, though Rayne startles at his words, making the other Visionary grunt with pain as Rayne accidentally knees his boyfriend in the stomach.
“Shit, sorry. Are you alright?”
“‘M fine. Better than how I felt post-wisdom teeth, anyway,” Delisaster sighs. He gets up and into a sitting position next to Rayne, who adjusts himself to be leaning over his shoulder. “Anyway… I’m thinking Doom and Cell will probably be the best to visit, since I’m going alone an’ they’re the least insane weirdos there…”
“You’re going alone?” Rayne raises an eyebrow. “Domina isn’t going with you?”
“Uh, hell no? I’m not letting Domi anywhere near the rest of those freaks, are you crazy?” Delisaster frowns. “Father already did a large enough number on him. I don’t need Famin and Epidem getting near him and trying to screw around with him. Mash has been good for him, but that doesn’t mean that he’s recovered enough to just get thrown right back into the snake pit.”
“You can’t just go alone, though,” Rayne says. Without even a moment of hesitation, he adds on, “I’ll come with you.”
“Uh.. no offense, babe, but that’s probably the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard. Didn’t Orter tell you guys what Famin was like? He’s totally gonna try to stab you through the bars.”
“He can try,” Rayne replies calmly. He’s really not giving up on the whole accompanying his boyfriend to jail thing. One could almost admire his persistence to follow Delisaster everywhere he goes, if they weren’t aware that that was a very unusual thing to do. “Anyway, the point is that I won’t let you go in there alone. They’ve hurt you enough, I’m not about to let you go and throw yourself into the fire again.”
“...You’re so annoying sometimes,” Delisaster sighs, but it’s fond. It seems craziness is some sort of attractive character trait to the Blade Cane, which does make some sense when you think about it. He flops back onto Rayne, who lets out an ‘ oompfh’ as he falls on his chest. “Fine, alright. We’ll go together.”
“Mmm. Speaking of, check the mission page. I think there’s another duo one that they’ll probably assign to us.”
“Oh, really? Woohoo~ That means more alone time with Mr. Serious!” Delisaster laughs as he turns over and presses a kiss to Rayne’s cheek. Despite the reddening blush on his face, Rayne still has to get the last word.
“Don’t say it like that. ”
*
WAHLBERG: I was asked by Ryoh to give an endorsement for this new show pitch of his, Keeping Up With The Divine Visionaries. Frankly, I think it’s a wonderful idea and a great way to get our Visionaries more acquainted with the public and more used to their presence.
MELIADOUL: Ah, same here! I also think it’s a fun idea. I do so love to see the youths getting along so gayly!
WAHLBERG: …Respectfully, Melia, that is no longer a term used in modern terminology—
MELIADOUL, her fists raised: Sorry, what was that, Bergie? I couldn’t hear you.
WAHLBERG:
WAHLBERG: Excuse me. I think it would be wise of me to leave the recording booth at this moment.
*
[This current recording footage is of the moment that LANCE CROWN was informed of the reality TV show.]
LANCE: Who’s fucking idea was this? No, seriously, what fucking idiot thought of this?
*
[The camera cuts to a still shot of RYOH and RENATUS smiling and doing cheesy poses at the camera.]
RYOH, voiceover: And the fucking idiot(s) in question arrive!
INVISIBLE AUDIENCE, cheering: WOOO! WE LOVE YOU, RYOH! YOU’RE THE BEST!
RENATUS, voiceover: Uh-huh… anyway, this was Episode 1 of Keeping Up With the Divine Visionaries. We hope you enjoyed, and—
LANCE, very faint background voiceover (?): YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! IT WAS YOU, HUH?
RYOH, voiceover: And with that, we’ll be ending this episode off here today! Have a wonderful day, lovely viewers!
[The audio cuts off just before a distant GRAVIOLE! can be heard.]
Chapter 2: Episode 2: Jail Visits, Brotherly Bonding, and More Insanity
Notes:
I got my deadline extended so of course my first reaction is to write another chapter for this fic. Truly, I am the greatest student alive. College has nothing on my ass.
Chapter Text
[The camera opens to a shot of an unusually cooly dressed TSURARA HALESTONE fixing ORTER MADL, LANCE CROWN and ORTER MADL with an icy glare. CARPACCIO LUO-YANG and WIRTH MADL exchange unimpressed glances behind their mentor’s back, all while KALDO GEHENNA and RYOH GRANTZ work tirelessly at clearing away the ice and snow that has carpeted the room.]
WIRTH MADL, raising his voice to be heard over Tsurara’s yelling: So, you’re probably wondering what’s going on right now. It’s— (he snickers) It’s not, uh, that much of a mystery, if you’ve got eyes, but—
CARPACCIO LUO-YANG, staring into the camera with a deadpan glare: When Lance came into Tsurara’s lab and saw me he immediately tried to punch me—
WIRTH: And since he and Tsurara came up with a heating plan where he just sticks a bunch of heating pads to himself and sits in a sauna all day to use him as her personal heater, they’ve been connected 24/7. So naturally, any damage done to Carpaccio…
CARPACCIO: …Gets transferred to Tsurara. Which I technically could have dodged, but…
WIRTH: He’s just as petty as the rest of them. It’s crazy how terrible this whole Bureau is.
CARPACCIO: Says you?
WIRTH, in a newscaster’s voice: Heartwarming! This psychopath tries to act like a real live human being for the first time ever! See what— ow, you motherfucker, you're not supposed to do that! I'm getting Rayne on your ass!
*
[The camera immediately cuts away to RAYNE AMES staring down CELL WAR, a notorious member of the Innocent Zero Organization. His sentence is presumably being shortened if he agrees to this prison tour entertainment segment. DELISASTER BLOWELIVE can be seen in the background talking to another prisoner, out of earshot.]
“You know you’re not supposed to use force against the prisoners, r-right— eehk! ” Cell War yelps loudly as Rayne kicks the bars of his prison cell (war), eyes filled with what we have been advised not to address as ‘murderous intent’ lest the Sword Cane turns those definitely not murderous eyes onto us. “H-help! HELP! Where are the guards?!”
“Busy dealing with other things more important than one nosy prisoner,” Rayne frowns as he stares down at the man with derision, eyes narrowing at the way Cell War scoots backwards into the cell like a rat. “Acting scared when you started the fight… that trait of your family’s is rather annoying. Is it hereditary?”
“Shut up! You’re just proving me right, aren’t you?!”
Rayne’s expression grows even tenser, somehow, hand reaching into his pants pocket to remove his wand— but miraculously for Cell War, it’s at that moment that Delisaster bounds into view of the camera, with a helmet cover and jester hat that look suspiciously like the ones his older brothers wear. He launches himself at Rayne, who easily catches him. “Mr. Serious! You’re not over here harassing Cellie, are ya?”
“…You took too long,” Rayne sighs as he sets Delisaster down, ignoring the way that Cell War practically collapses into a puddle on the floor with relief when he looks away from the prisoner. As they leave, Rayne continues, “Your… family… isn’t exactly the easiest to get along with.”
“I know, but Cellie’s one of the less… difficult ones,” Delisaster says nonchalantly. One could almost picture him as a kindergarten teacher talking about one of his students, if not for the fact that Cell War is a very highly renowned warcriminal only scheduled for release because he had been threatened into helping take Innocent Zero down. “Anyway, I did end up talking to Doom about the thing, so next time I’ll take Mash along so they can plot together.”
“The likeliness of them letting him out at all is practically non-existent,” Rayne says flatly. “It’s not like you or Domina, or, God forbid, even Cell War— he was one of the main aggressors in the war.”
“Mm, you’re right about that,” Delisaster hums. “But that hardly means anything when it’s Mash planning the whole thing out. That kid never gives up even when the situation looks impossible. And, ‘sides, out of everyone, I think Doom is the most likely to get released if we’re going purely off behaviour. He’s, like, a model citizen.”
“When he’s not killing for your father’s sakes.”
“When he’s not killing for Father’s sake, yeah,” Delisaster concedes. “But, like, even when they’re not committing heinous crimes on Father’s orders Famin and Epidem are uber-weird. Y’know? Cellie and Doom are the only normal ones. Speaking of which, what did he even do to get you so mad?”
“Insinuated that I was with you only for your looks, or something. I don’t really know, after he said the first few things I couldn’t really hear the rest over the blood rising in my ears.”
“Oh.” Delisaster stops for a moment before he starts to laugh, leaning onto the other Visionary. “That’s sweet of you. But don’t worry about me, if that was the problem. Cellie hates all of us a little bit deep down, I’m not surprised he would say something like that t’ ya. I’m glad that he didn’t say something rude ‘bout you, honestly. Or Finnie, he’s a sweet boy.”
“Even so…” Rayne frowns. “I don’t want to hear anyone speaking ill of you.”
“…Gh… I can’t believe you can say such sappy shit like that with a straight face.” Delisaster looks away, embarrassed.
Neither can we, Delisaster. Neither can we.
*
RENATUS, awkwardly: Uh... hi. This segment was supposed to be both me and Ryoh, I think, but he said he had something to do and went back home. I might get this entire show R-rated if I say what I think he’s doing, so I’m just gonna shut up and leave the recording booth.
*
[The episode now cuts to a segment labelled, ‘ Belated Brotherly Bonding!’ A shot focuses in on ORTER and WIRTH MADL, who seem to be stuck in an intense staring match over the community coffee table. A deck of Cards Against Wizardkind lie discarded all over the table.]
“...”
“...”
[SOPHINA, lounging on the couch in the other room: They’ve been there for thirty minutes. I don’t know how much longer this is going to go on for, but I do know that if Orter pulls out that fucking book again, Wirth may actually try to kill him, and I definitely will.]
“So,” Orter says hesitantly after another bout of silence, “Um. Your… studies.”
“My studies.” Wirth repeats flatly, raising an eyebrow as he stares down his brother.
“They’re… you’re doing better than I did.”
“I know. I specifically took all the same classes you did and got into the dorm you were in so I could outperform you by 100%.” Wow, that sort of dedication is really scary! Someone with that much of a grudge is a truly horrifying force to reckon against. “What do you want?”
“What?” Orter looks a little taken aback. “What do you—”
“What the hell do you want, Orter?! Is— is this all just some sort of game to you, or something?!” Wirth stands up, his hands shaking, “After— after what, like, ten years of ignoring me and leaving me to deal with our dear folk’s expectations and disappointment, you not only get a new set of kids to replace me with, but now you’re trying to— to sit me down and make a fool of me or something?!”
“Wirth, that isn’t—”
“I’m tired of hearing this shit from you! It’s always one thing or the other— you didn’t mean it, that’s not the way I was supposed to take it— well how was I supposed to know what you were saying?! It’s— I thought you were going to actually try with this, whatever the fuck sort of sibling ‘bond’ we had after the carnival, but clearly that’s all just been bullshit because you’ve done nothing but let me down time and time again, and I—” Wirth chokes on a sob, angry tears welling up in the corners of his eyes. “Fucking say something, Orter! Just— fucking— just, fucking… please. Just— say something. Anything.”
[SOPHINA: At this point, I was also about to break into the room and tell Orter to just talk to his brother. I know he’s autistic, but that’s not an excuse for being emotionally constipated.]
Instead of saying anything, Orter stands up too, and though there’s a clear sign of anguish in his eyes when he sees his brother flinch away minutely from him, he reaches out anyway and pulls Wirth against his chest, ignoring the obnoxious construct between them that is the coffee table as he maneuvers them out of the lounge space.
“I’m sorry , Wirth. I… well, obviously, I haven’t been a very good brother to you, if one at all. But— I meant what I said when I told you I wanted to try and reconcile. I… don’t think I’ll ever know how to be a brother to you, not properly, but I know that I don’t want to be the cause of your tears again. And— if you want, considering you’ve been old enough for a while, I can… take legal guardianship and take you away from the two of them. I don’t know what I can do to make up for everything, but, I figured… this would be as good a start as any, right?”
Wirth doesn’t answer, his head resting on his brother’s shoulder, but he sniffles and tugs the older man in for a tighter hug, so that’s as good a sign as any.
[The rest of their conversation is left out for privacy’s sakes, but Sophina assures us that the Madl brothers did make up afterward.]
*
[For the next part of the Belated Brotherly Bonding segment, we cut to an interview between DELISASTER and DOMINA BLOWELIVE, and their estranged younger brother MASH BURNEDEAD, the lackmagic who saved the world.]
DELISASTER, very clearly trying to break the air of awkwardness between them: So… Mashie, how’s that pancake diner idea going?
MASH, munching on a creampuff: Doom said they wouldn’t let him out of jail early. (Why it was said so casually could only be chalked up to his being Mash Burnedead.)
DELISASTER, awkwardly: …Well, Mashie, he has ten life sentences and then another hundred years atop of that. They’re not gonna let him out just ‘cause he’s leagues better than the rest of us (and probably a better person than the general public, too, when he’s not doing crime, but that’s another topic entirely…) Were you expecting early parole? You… weren’t, were you?
MASH: Um. I didn’t know they could do that. I thought he’d get let out with that blond guy.
DELISASTER: …You mean Cellie? The blond guy???
DOMINA: Cell War got let out early?
DELISASTER, looking relieved: Oh, yeah, it happened just last week. Apparently, he got hired as a milkman. I heard that Meliadoul had something to do with it, which makes sense, ‘cause she and Father were friends in their Easton days. And she definitely wouldn’t pass up the chance to fuck with one of us.
DOMINA and MASH, in unison: Father/Innocent Zero went to Easton when he was younger?
DELISASTER: …Yeah? It wasn’t, like, top secret info or anything. Father was friends with the headmaster, too. He told you, right? All three of them were students of the big guy himself— y’know, Adam Jobs.
[The rest of the conversation devolves into discussion about Wahlberg, Meliadoul, and Innocent Zero. Is this the brotherly bonding the media talks about…?]
*
[Finally, on the Belated Brotherly Bonding segment, we have the Ames brothers, who will hopefully be more normal than the others! But then again, because this is Keeping Up With the Divine Visionaries, everyone’s favourite reality TV show starring Ryoh Grantz and his associates, that may be a little much to hope for.]
“You started learning crochet?” Rayne asks a hard at work Finn, who nods enthusiastically at his brother’s question.
“Yep! Delisa actually helped me figure out the pattern for the plushie. I’ve been talking more with him and Domina, and… honestly, I was a bit intimidated by both of them at first, but they’re a lot nicer than I expected. I mean— no offense, of course, I—”
“I’m not offended, Finn. I know it was a little bit of an unlikely match.”
“Not really? You two seemed… a pretty logical pair when I really sat down and thought about it. You balance each other out, I guess? And after what happened at the citadel and the trial, I mean… at that point, I should’ve already known,” Finn chuckles awkwardly. “Mash was the only reason I started thinking more into it because everyone already knew you two were attached at the hip.”
“Hm.” Rayne looks at the crochet figure Finn is hard at work on. It’s a bunny wearing a little shirt. “Do you mind if I help?”
“Not at all! I’ll show you the basic stitches so you can try and help me with the sweater!”
“Okay, sure.”
*
[And now, for the weirdos.]
AGITO TYRONE: The other day I asked Delisaster what it would take for me to meet his brother again and he immediately ran away from me.
AGITO, looking a little lost in thought: I might ask him again just to have Rayne whet his blade against my neck… but even that pales to the joy I felt at my face-off with Innocent Zero’s second son. Perhaps it is a little odd to admit, but I wonder if I could make him cut me with one of those cards if I provoke him enough?
*
KALDO GEHENNA: What do you mean, my honey stash is concerning? Come on, don’t be rude about them! Just because you’re acting jealous doesn’t mean I’ll give up my goods!
LANCE CROWN, from off screen: GRAVIOLE!
[KALDO drops like a fly, and LANCE enters the view of the camera to drag the other Visionary out of the room. We thank you for your service.]
*
[A montage of photos now plays out on screen, accompanied by voiceovers. Overtop a photo of Lance and Orter dressed in matching full-body bunny costumes, is a voiceover of Renatus and Rayne.]
RENATUS, voiceover: See? Told you you’d like the idea.
RAYNE, deadpan: I think Orter is trying to turn that suit to sand.
RENATUS, nervous: He can’t. It’s magic proofed, I made sure of it!
RAYNE: Whatever you say. I’m getting out of the blast radius.
[A photo of Delisaster dressed in a slit-leg femme fatale style dress with Sophina dressed in a form-fitting gentleman’s suit next to him shows on screen. Despite what some viewers might want to argue, they both pull off the other sex’s fashion far better than they do their own.]
DELISASTER, voiceover: Hmmm… you know, I think I pull this off pretty damn well! I’m pretty fucking hot. Y’know, I’d ask what Rayne thinks but honestly knowing him I think he might throw up.
SOPHINA, voiceover: …I’m almost afraid to ask why.
DELISASTER, scoffing: Oh, bro, there is no way Mr. Serious has ever felt a woman’s touch before. I’ve seen him running away from hordes of female fans more frantically than he fought me in the citadel.
SOPHINA: Wow. Rayne Ames must be the gayest man alive, because if that were me—
[The next bunch of photos shows… oh. Um. It’s Ryoh Grantz… It’s all just Ryoh Grantz.]
DISEMBODIED AUDIENCE: WE LOVE YOU, RYOH! KYAAAA! OH MY GOD! IT”S RYOH GRANTZ, THE GREATEST CREATION OF ALL OF HUMANIT’Y!
DISEMBODIED AUDIENCE FAN #1: I’M YOUR GREATEST FAN, RYOH! MAKE ME YOUR CONCUBINE, PLEASE! I’LL SIT TO THE SIDE AND GET CUCKED BY YOU AND YOUR WIFE!
DISEMBODIED AUDIENCE FAN #2: NO, PICK ME! I’LL BE A BETTER CUCK THAN HER! AND I’M MORE ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT IT, TOO!
[The rest of the visionaries, unsurprisingly, are a little perturbed by this voiceover.]
TSURARA: One of these days, I’ll get approval from the board to experiment on Renatus. I can feel it growing closer by the second.
RENATUS: HOW IS THIS MY FAULT?!
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