Chapter Text
“Ah, Neil!”
Zipping up a duffle bag, he raised his auburn head at the unfamiliar call of his name.
Upon their approach, his downturned gaze traveled from tattered, once-white sneakers with alternating pastel purple and green laces, up to a radiant award winning smile. Though they’d only met a few times in person, Neil recognized the woman immediately, the same as any fan would. By her chin length hair, snow white from her roots flowing down to the last two inches before pastel color leaked across her ends in a way that tricked the eyes into believing she was hit by a constant ray of rainbow producing sunlight. The only detectable difference being that today, her usual bangs were pinned away from her face on either side with pastel yellow star clips.
The two kept in contact the way she did best and Neil did worst— by text. Though it had been his fault for the long gap since their last message, he felt glad to see her well, “Hey Renee.”
He expected a second presence to follow, but she sat down alone beside him. Having already kicked off her shoes and pulled out her skates, Renee finally glanced up in his silence to notice Neil looking around like he was lost, and then looking back to her until she caught on and questioned him for it, “Hm?”
Neil thumbed to the door, “Where’s Andrew?”
Renee laughed into the grip on her laces, which helped her to pull them tighter, “Is it that rare to see me without him?”
He wasn’t really sure how to answer that without saying yes, but he had to say something normal, and not rude, so he tried the next best thing he could think of on the fly, “Well…”
“You’re close.” Neil said matter of factly, observing how her face softened, a thin humble smile tugging at her lips. She paused for a moment. Though her body language was open and turned towards Neil, she seemed to look beside him just slightly, and out onto the rink at the other’s mention.
“Yes, I suppose we are.”
Neil didn’t see how there was any ‘supposed’ way about it. Not when he had seen for himself and in real time their eb and flow. An unfakable attunement to each other built upon experience, upon trial and error, upon trust. Watching them compete together felt so polar opposite to the raw and rough skating style Andrew was known for.
Neil remembered those early days when he’d only heard of Andrew Minyard and observed the wild boy from a safe distance for most of his junior career, only for their alliance to be inevitable with the realization of their common interest in Kevin Day.
Still, butting heads was easy with any rival, and easier with Andrew, though regrettable to anyone who took it too far, as he body checked with the same force of a professional hockey player at the height of 5’ even. Somewhere along the way, and without realizing it himself, Andrew had become one of Neil’s fiercest competitors, along with Kevin of course— that was, until Andrew moved on to pairs with Renee around what Neil had to assume to be two or so years ago now.
Andrew had never once given a fuck about judges, or scoring— but to the media that was his gimmick, that was what they all loved about him. Even more than that, he was undeniably different when he skated with Renee, in a way that had the media even more frenzied. His control, his swift agility, his strength— he had entered a new game as though it was all he’d done over the course of his entire career.
Neil had never in his life participated in pair skating, nor ice dance for that matter. It was so foreign to him, he wondered how Andrew had coped so well, and imagined it probably helped that he had Renee specifically as his partner, who had agreed to handle most interviews on her own.
Leaning forward in his seat, Neil looked up at Renee to study the swirling emotion in her eyes. Though he could not read them, he wondered if Andrew would be able to, and let his curiosity get the better of him.
“What is Andrew like as a partner?”
Neil wished he’d thrown the word skating in there, expecting another silent pause as the question came out with an unintended double meaning.
But Renee spoke up with a playfulness to her voice as though she’d overheard his regretful thought, and her eyes darted to meet Neil’s gaze, “He’s not that different, you know.”
Neil cocked an eyebrow at that response and waited patiently for her to keep going, hoping he hadn’t scared her off in the process. He was far more intrigued than he was willing to admit, but it was written on his face, shown in the shift of his knee as it raised on the bench and bounced at the anticipation of her elaboration.
Renee hummed, pulling out a silver cross chain from her shirt and twiddling it between her fingers, as if asking it for the right words to say. As if she knew of the profound effect they could very well have on the boy who would hear them.
“He is sometimes late, but he always shows up.”
“He might argue back, but he always listens.”
“His mood may be sour, but you know you are safe.”
Neil’s heart ached, somewhat with understanding.
Her last line replayed in his head, over and over, though he hadn’t pressed for further details. He didn’t ask what exactly she’d meant by feeling safe— whether she was referring to his ability to put his head into the task at hand under any circumstance for her sake, to support her weight and promise to catch her in both practice and performance, or his infamous violent nature, or the fact that he is a man.
Whichever it was, be it all three, she sounded unshakably solid in her belief. Like she would bet her career, possibly her life against anyone who dared to bet otherwise on Andrew.
While there’s of course a lot she still hadn’t told Neil— and perhaps a lot more he was looking to hear about— knowing he’d sooner be slain than get an answer out of Andrew himself, Renee decided against sharing anything further, though she could have carried on with ease. She might’ve said to him the very first things that came to her mind when he’d first asked. Like how Andrew sneaks them both an extra muffin from the event’s catering table though there is a limit per contestant, or how he told her he wouldn’t agree to skate on her birthday, because she needed to, “do something better with her day” so “don’t ask”, but said again that he’d comply only for one hour because she did ask, and that ‘hour’ quickly turned into four.
She couldn’t possibly count how many times he threw himself across the floor of the ice, or put himself at risk, or got hurt in the process of protecting her from injury. Nor did she know how to explain that when she fails to remember the next step in a routine, that she becomes able to predict exactly what was planned from the direction of his firm hold on her arm, or his sure grab of her hips.
And it was only for her to know in the depths of sleepless nights, how she thanked her God for letting this partner be a good partner— no matter how fleeting.
She chose to let those settle quietly within her spirit. Details like that would serve no purpose to Neil, so Renee continued down another train of thought.
“But Neil—”
Though all true to her core, hardly any of that mattered when it came to what she wanted so sincerely to convey to the other without coming right out to say it.
“Despite our time together, there are still some things about Andrew that I will never know.”
She kicked on her toe pick, testing the wiggle of her ‘bad’ ankle before rising off the bench. Neil followed her to stand and listened intently.
“Andrew might not refer to our relationship with a word as simple as ‘friends’, but you must understand—”
She grabbed him by each shoulder, looking directly into his piercing blue eyes.
“We are only a pair in the matter of skating.”
Neil nodded with what he thought was understanding, “That makes sense, you technically work together after all.”
Patience dwindling, Renee shook her head and spoke in a near whisper, “Neil, Neil…”
“It’s not about the industry, or being paired. It’s that I am a woman.”
Her hands squeezed the tops of his shoulders before dropping down to pick up her bag and let the man’s gears turn at his own slow pace.
“Oh… I see.”
Her tone had gotten so serious that Neil felt relieved when it left her lips.
Okay, that was all?
He never considered much about his own sexuality, let alone that of others, but he gathered that for some reason or another, Renee thought it necessary to share— and that Andrew had agreed for her to share it with Neil. Admittedly, his perception of Andrew did feel a little bit clearer afterwards, like she gave Neil one of the last missing colors to fill in his mental portrait of the other man.
Renee smiled, wide and achieved, motioning him to walk with her, “Good! It’s important he has someone close to him who understands him, since you’ll be seeing a lot more of each other next season.”
Neil froze, gaped and confused, “What?”
Renee stopped in her tracks. She’d assumed he knew. Neil Josten, what else was this whole thing even about?
She laughed nervously, “My mistake, I forgot to consider that not all skaters keep up with the same news circle as pairs…”
It appeared that Neil already understood her implication, he simply didn’t believe it. He waited patiently, needing to hear a blatant true statement from the only other person who could confirm it besides the source himself. She caved under his stare. Andrew, forgive her.
“Andrew is switching back to singles.”
It wasn’t breaking news by any means, going on at least a week since someone had leaked it, but the concept was still highly regarded as a rumor.
“Sorry for startling you— I figured you’d heard by now. Gossip travels fast and you compete alongside Kevin Day.”
Neil couldn’t even think about Kevin right now. The man was going to lose his head knowing one of their best competitors was coming back. He was going to crack down on practices and run their coach ragged. Shaking him from his thoughts, Neil explained his absence.
“He’s in California— promised a friend he’d make it to a game…”
Neil couldn’t organize his thoughts quickly enough, but he found himself smiling and meaning it, “I’m fine. It’s good news. Just…”
He couldn’t help but pry one last time.
“Why?”
It was her own story to share, so Renee did, because she liked Neil.
“Andrew only stepped in because I needed a partner—”
That alone obviously wasn’t enough to explain the man changing his own path so extensively, so Renee continued, walking them up to the entrance of the rink.
“He’d never planned to skate in pairs, but Andrew is reliable if nothing else. He’d promised to one day return a favor, and he delivered.”
Neil heard the grateful tone of her voice double in joy when she waved to get the attention of another man on the ice, who didn’t wave back.
“Andrew can return to himself, now that I’ve found another partner.”
Neil could tell she didn’t want to appear rude, or abruptly leave the conversation— especially after dropping so much on him at once— but this ‘new partner’ who had been lurking around the other end of the rink stopped his stride over to them when he saw just who Renee was with. He looked at Neil like he couldn’t decide whether to approach them, or stay as far away as possible. So he acted like he’d begun warm ups.
Neil didn’t believe his eyes, but he tried his best to hide the surprise in his voice, “Jean Moreau.”
Renee nodded with an excited grin that reached up to a twinkle in her eyes, and stepped onto the ice.
“Please excuse me, Neil. We’ll catch up again soon.”
For the sake of his spinning head, Neil prayed on her cross to let it be either so long that he’d have time to recover from this meeting, or so soon that she’d have nothing new to share, and left it up to fate to decide.
In the process, he chuckled to himself watching her speed over to Jean, arms flailing overhead and skating circles around him. Neil could only imagine what that guy was thinking.
What he had gotten himself into.
Neil felt something unusual, a feeling that wasn’t his own, but rather something Renee projected all the way from the center of the ice.
She had total faith in Jean.
Neil thought of Andrew, his wild and rebellious core, then his bend, weave and sacrifice for his partner. He was glad for Renee— for the change that Andrew had made in her, and her in him.
But he sighed long and hard with aching relief as he exited the atrium. And realized as he reached his car what a selfish person he truly was—
Because he was far more happy for Andrew to come back.
Fuck—
Wait ‘till Kevin hears about this.