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“Have you been taking care of yourself?” Zayne asked, his dark eyes scanning yours, his hands comfortably in his lap, a leg crossed another. “More so, do you feel okay? Anything of concern?”
You were the most comfortable in telling your boyfriend, your childhood friend, of your transition than anyone else. He did not speak of hatred, but of concern, for he was a doctor and understood the side effects of certain medications along other words. He stood by your side, asking you things, even explaining more in depth of your research for different medications. He took notice of subtle changes, either in your voice or body, and praised and supported everything. He did not want you to feel ashamed, uncomfortable in your own skin.
“I feel good,” You smiled at him, fixing your hair, getting used to a better and professional masculine hair cut than whatever you did one day in the bathroom trying to replicate a photo.
“I’m glad.” He smiled. “Next time you want a haircut, doing it in the bathroom on your own is not the best idea, [Name].” He chuckled, reaching a hand over to you, playing with the ends. “It suits you. You look handsome.”
You blush at the compliment, covering your face, “Thanks, Zayne.”
“If you want a change. Go to the same barber.” Zayne smiled. “He’s good at his skill.”
“I know!” You exclaimed happily. “They really captured what I was asking for.”
Zayne kept his eyes on you, adoring the satisfied look on your face, the way you felt more lively and at ease with your new appearance. He leaned over to you. “I see. Having a good barber is necessary.” He glanced down at your lips. “Having such dirty hair is not pleasant to wear nor see, hm?”
“Are you teasing me now?” You asked, your breath hitching after coming to realization of how close he is. “Z-Zayne?”
“Am I unable to get close to you?” He smirked. “Flustered all of a sudden. Feeling sick?” He rests his forehead against you. “Or, are you feeling shy, my handsome man?”
You shiver at his touch, the heat in your cheeks now consuming your body. “You always catch me off guard when you act so.. flirtatious and affectionate.”
“I make you feel shy?” He kissed you, his tongue exploring your mouth, fighting against your tongue. He pulled you onto his lap, holding you by the waist. He pulled away, a string of mixed saliva breaking from their lips. “I just…” He panted. “Can’t seem to get enough of you.”
You were in a lovestruck daze, panting alongside him, your arms on his shoulders keeping yourself up. “Nor can I of you.” You smiled, cupping his face. “You are the best thing, person, to come into my life and give me all that I had hoped for. Just love, and understanding.”
“You are my boyfriend. You are my partner. You are the love that fills my soul. No matter how hard I could try to avoid it all, I am unwilling to ignore what my heart beats for.” He rest his head against your chest. “You may not remember it all. And I am glad you won’t have to endure the pain of another life as I have. No words can express the desire I have for you, [Name].” You hold his face in your hands, seeing the shimmer of his eyes as a single tear dropped down. “How much it hurts to wish to never meet you, so we don’t come to the same reality, but it…”
“Zayne?” You hug him. “It’s okay, I’m here. I’m right here.”
“I know. You’ll always be the one I love, no matter what, [Name].” Zayne sat up, kissing you again, holding you so gently as if you were to break and fly away. “I can’t lose you again.”
“You won’t lose me.” You kissed him, wiping around his tears with your thumb. “You’ll always have me.”
“I know,” Zayne’s soft eyes look into yours. “For you are my lover, my handsome love of my life.” He let out a shaky exhale. “I want you to be comfortable, safe and at peace every day. I want to make sure nothing harms your heart, that you don’t go through pain as you transition. I want you to be healthy. That is all I ask.”
“I ask for the same thing too, Zayne. I want you to take care of yourself during long shifts at the hospital, those days where you disappear, and hope that you’ll return to me. I beg the world to not hurt you. And I beg to the world that we don’t hurt each other.” You hug him, hiding your face in the crook of his neck. “And I’m so glad you… accept me for who I am.”
“I don’t have to accept you. There is nothing to accept. You will always be you, and you don’t need my permission, my opinion on what makes you comfortable and at peace.” He held you, enjoying your warmth and the weight on his body. “But I understand your concern just as much.”
“I love you and I thank you for being in my life. I probably already said that I just can’t help it.” You chuckled.
“I know,” He sighed, switching to a different topic. “Your voice is showing progress. Maybe in a month you’ll have the voice you’ve talked about. Though, I hope you are taking care of yourself, and now going over with your medication.”
“I’m not immature. I understand it’s not something to ignore.” You muttered.
“I know. But it’s important to get that thought out.” He carefully racked his fingers through your hair.
“If you do that, I’ll fall asleep.”
“What’s the harm? I’m off tomorrow, there is no rush for my attention if that is your worry.” He kissed your forehead.
“Mm… if you say so, m’love you.” You dozed off.
“I know. I love you too, my prince.” He hummed as you slept.