Chapter Text
“Honey! Are you ready?”
“Yes mom, I’m coming!” I say loudly down the stairs, wanting to look over my room one last time before I leave. This would mark the first time I’d live alone, without my mom, for a year— maybe two.
My hand slides over my bed sheet, flattening out any bumps… I’d much rather be gone for just a year. They’d have graduated by then, I can lounge around inside for the summer, and then I think I can finally breathe. They’d be off at university, college, apprenticeships, whatever. I’ll become a face in the crowd. A smile creeps onto my face, but I then get shotgunned back into reality— I’m leaving.
I stand up, letting my eyes carefully study everything I’ve decided to leave here. My plants by the window, my old Clyde frog plush sitting on my bed, my closet and mirror, some old makeup tucked neatly away.
I whisper a soft goodbye, slowly shutting the door so there’d be no noise. It felt weird, being relieved yet sad, I felt like a wilting indoor plant being moved to a different room. I start walking down the small staircase onto the main floor for our townhouse, my mom standing in the kitchen.
“Mom.”
The word is barely a whisper, but she still comes over and hugs me tightly, finger combing my dark brown hair that’s grown past my shoulders. I hug her back, resting my head on her shoulder.
“Oh Emily. Baby, my baby…” I can feel my heart ache as she continues her petting motion, her voice ongoing, speaking softly about our separated future. “Promise me you’ll come back for Christmas and Thanksgiving. I’ll come up for your birthday, I know your place is small but we can make due and—“
I pull away from the hug, a bittersweet smile on my face. I couldn’t ignore the tears building up in my moms eyes. “Mom, I’m gonna be late for my bus. You know I’ll come down here when I can.” This seems to have satisfied my mom, her shoulders relaxing as she plants a kiss on my forehead. I grab my bags— a backpack and luggage bag, and I’m just about to step out of our house when my mom yells out.
“Emily… if anything happens, tell me. Okay?” Her voice waivers, hesitant.
“I will mom. I love you.” I say, not turning around as I start heading to my first bus stop. She’s right, I should tell her if anything… anything like these past 3 years starts happening again. But I know myself. And I know that when I tell her, it’ll be too late.
My dirty shoes leave marks across the bus as I step on, thankfully my luggage bag decided not to switch up on me. I sat at the very back of the bus, away in the corner where nobody would bother me, and where I slipped my headphones on. That’s enough thinking for today.
——
My eyes squinted, looking up and down “Bobbi’s Diner”, the neon sign already flickering. I’ve never seen this place before. A decade away from South Park, and all they’ve built is a shitty diner? I couldn’t help myself but slowly swing the door open, the amount of chatter coming from inside calling me like a moth to a flame. Maybe that was my first mistake.
I shuffled into the diner, standing awkwardly at the door. The restaurant is basically filled to the brim with people. A long line of people standing in front of me, and if I turn, I can see people I really don’t want to see in the booths. I scan the room. Tolkien is sitting with Jimmy, Wendy and Bebe are sitting together. I see the top of Butters head, and I accidentally lock eyes with a pair of familiar dark brown ones. I really hope he can’t recognize me— or the look of despair that’s probably plastered onto my face. You know what, I should leave.
I turn around, my hand inches away from the cooling touch of the metal handle, jumping when I feel a hand in my shoulder. I swivel around almost instantaneously.
“…You. You look familiar.” Stan says, still ineloquent as always. He looks different though, skin slightly tanned, his hair poking out of the same blue and red beanie he wore since we were kids. He does have some height on me though. “Do I know you?”
I try to give him a smile, but I know the nervous feeling rattling inside of me is shown as well “I don’t think so… I just moved here yesterday.” My hand clenches around my crossbody bag. I really fucking hope he doesn’t recognize me, I can’t go through that again— I won’t go through with that again.
Stan gives me that look. A look I think I would’ve been able to memorize by now. He doesn't believe me.
"Are you sure? You seem familiar though..."
I shrug, “I mean, how many short brown haired girls do you know?” The beating of my heart is starting to fill my ears… it feels like everyone in the diner is staring at us right now. He can’t tell, there’s no way he knows.
Stan looks me up and down, trying to take in every little bit of me. It’s unnerving, being put under a microscope in front of your very own eyes. God— younger me would’ve started to try and rip him to shreds right now. But I’m here giving silent prayers that he’ll let me leave this stuffy diner and let me feel the cold air on my face.
"Not that many… But I definitely know you from somewhere."
I grit my teeth. I don’t know which one I want to do more right now, fall to my knees and start crying, or start screaming until my lungs give out. Instead, I look over at Wendy and Bebe with pleading eyes. If Wendy is still dating Stan, hopefully she’ll reel him in, if not, hopefully she’ll give him the beating of a lifetime. But from their reactions, it seems they haven’t even noticed whatever is going on.
“Uh.. I guess I should go.” I say, hoping an awkward exit is better than this strange tense air in between us. I can’t lie, I was a little curious about what happened in this small little mountain town when I left, but this in my face introduction isn’t how I wanted it to go.
I flinch when I feel him grabbing my arm, stopping me from leaving out the door. The door was just barely out of my reach.
"Wait! Don’t leave yet, I still have some questions.”
My body tenses up, trying to wiggle my arm out of his surprisingly strong grasp… Logically, I know Stan wouldn’t hurt me (I hope) but I can’t help being prepared to face violence. “U- uhm.. what is it?” I try to say it in the softest, most disarming voice I can. Looking into his eyes, I pray I don’t hear him say the name “Cartman” any time soon.
He leans in closer, his eyes flickering over to make sure Kyle and Kenny aren’t watching.
“Seriously… Just tell me the truth. I’ve definitely seen you before, this can’t just be some kind of déjà vu. I don’t leave town that often.”
I fight back the urge to scowl when I feel my face heat up at our closeness, taking a step back. I try to ignore my heart beating faster as my back hits the diner door, reminding me of how close freedom is.
“I moved here from Chicago just yesterday.. maybe you saw me while I was walking around?”
Stan is still basically using my arm to keep me captive, his eyes seeming to study mine. His grip is gentle, but firm. I want to tug one more time, escape his grasp and start running.
"Chicago, huh?…” Stan babbles on, I can’t seem to care as Wendy and Bebe have finally seemed to notice whatever the fuck is going on here, and are walking over. I breathe a sigh of relief, finally, this’ll be over soon.
Wendy’s eyes widen, as she immediately notices Stan’s hand wrapped around my forearm. “Stan… what are you doing?” Her voice is the definition of disbelief— maybe they are still dating, and she’s surprised that he could do something so weird.
Thankfully, Stan finally lets go of my arm. I can’t help but rub it out of habit, as Wendy glares at him.
“Oh—“ Stan blinks, his head swiveling in between me and Wendy, I can’t even try to fathom what he’s thinking. “Uh… nothing! I was just asking the new girl here some questions.”
Bebe gives me a bit of a reassuring smile as Wendy keeps interrogating Stan. I don’t even have to turn my head to tell that Kyle and Kenny are now staring at the four of us now.
“Stan. Why were you holding her arm like that?”
"Look it’s just— I… I promise I didn't mean anything by it.” He sighs, putting his hands out defensively. “I just saw her standing by the door and.. I felt like I knew her from somewhere. So I was just trying to figure out how I knew her. T- that’s it!
The whole diner seems to hold their breath. Craning my head to the side, almost everyone was watching the scene in front of me unfold, wondering how Wendy was going to respond. I couldn’t help but grimace. Great, second day back at South Park and I’ve already started some kind of mess.
Wendy eventually relaxes, crossing her arms.
"And? You felt like you knew her from somewhere, so you felt like grabbing her arm and holding it tight enough that she couldn't free herself from your grip was a good idea?"
Stan turns beet red. Although I… I wouldn’t say that he was holding it that tight, but the rest was true enough. Maybe my standards were a bit different now. Thank the lord Wendy and Bebe were at the diner, I doubt I would’ve been let go unless I told Stan my entire life story from start to finish.
He looks away, clearly embarrassed, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.
“I'm sorry alright.. I just thought that—"
"That what? That if you held her captive, you could get the answers out of her? What kind of logic are you using!?"
Wendy retorts back, an eyebrow raised. This time, I’m not ignoring what’s clearly my chance of freedom. I slip out the door, the cool, chilly air instantly hitting my face as the snow crunches underneath me, as I walk away. I probably should’ve said something, but it’s whateve— is that a cat?
“Pspspsps, come here kitty!” I say, crouching over by the sidewalk, the black cat staring at me. The cat starts walking towards me, the gleeful smile on my face drops as we both jump, the door to the diner slamming open and startling us both.
“Nooo kitty!” I say, watching as the cat scitters away. I get up from my crouched position, glaring at whoever ungraciously ruined my moment, until I see that it's Stan, Kyle, Wendy, Kenny and Bebe.
They walk up towards me, bridging the gap. Thankfully nobody else with them, but the feeling of nervousness still builds in me from their serious expressions.
Stan opens his mouth like a fish out of water, pausing before starting to speak. "I'm... I'm sorry about that earlier. I shouldn't have grabbed you like that."
“Uh…” I say, scrambling to respond somehow. My eyes lower to the ground, the eye contact itself stressing me out. This was probably the shittiest apology ever, alongside what he did being a huge asshole move, but it’s hard to even imagine holding this grudge. He’s my childhood friend, even if he doesn’t know it.
I sigh, my breath visible due to the cold. “Look, I’ll forgive you.” I look up, his face already cheerful somehow. “But, only if you drop this whole “I remember you” thing.”
I watch as he processes this right in front of my face. Relief, confusion, surprise, and finally disbelief.
"I'm not bullshitting though, I swear! I really do feel like I've seen you somewhere before— Hey!”
Stan jumps, rubbing his side as Wendy interrupts him to jab her elbow into his side to shut him up.
He opens his mouth, probably to defend himself or something, but a sharp glare from Wendy is enough to stop him, letting out an annoyed but conceding sigh.
"Fine, fine, I'll drop it."
I can’t help but bite back a smile, watching as Kenny looks like a pufferfish, trying really hard not to burst out laughing at the situation. Kyle standing beside him looking clearly uncomfortable as Bebe gives me another pitying smile. I move my eyes back to Stan and Wendy, who are done bickering at this point, and are staring at me… alongside everyone else.
I curl my hands into fists, taking a deep breath. This is awkward againI hope I’ll get rid of this stupid nervous-anxious feeling soon.
“Well, um… I should get going,” I mumble, I don’t really want to be here for a second longer. “It was nice meeting you all...” Again. It was nice meeting them all again. It’s weird, they’re the same, yet different from what I remember.
I spin on my heel, walking away as the cold nips at my face. The snow crunches under me as I feel their gazes on my back like a heavy blanket, watching me until I’m out of reach. Thankfully, they haven’t recognized me, but who knows if it’ll stay that way? My stomach churns at the idea, walking into class, seeing someone’s— anyone’s eyes widen at the sight of me, whispering into each other's ears until they all know.
But honestly, what did I expect? A quiet return, blending into the background like I’m a part of the atmosphere? Who was I kidding! Everything was too familiar.
Tomorrow is going to be a long day. A very long day.
——
Stan watches Emily walk away, thinking and trying to figure out why she seems so familiar.
"I think you're just experiencing some kind of weird deja vu, Stan." Wendy says, breaking his train of thought.
"But I swear—“
Kyle sighs, giving him a tired look.. "Dude, just give it a rest, ok? You're just acting weird."
Kenny nods in agreement as Stan sighs.
“Alright alright. I’ll give it up.”