Chapter Text
Being seated next to Nick Nelson in their new vertical form set up was the best and worst thing that had ever happened to Charlie Spring.
On the one hand, Nick was very nice, actually, which Charlie had been very happy to learn. He said “hi” everyday when Charlie sat down and also when he saw Charlie around school. On the other hand, Nick was very attractive which was equally distracting and distressing to Charlie’s mind. The two things combined made for a lot of very confusing moments for Charlie over those first few days after winter break.
Not only did he have a lot of feelings about Nick Nelson but he also had a lot of feelings about Ben Hope. Ben, who Charlie was actually seeing. Er– kissing? Dating? Ugh, he didn’t know, hence the feelings. And also why Charlie didn’t really feel too guilty about his feelings for Nick. Not that– it wasn’t a crush, Nick was just hot and nice. Which might happen to be Charlie’s weakness.
On Thursday of that first week of term, Charlie rounded the corner into the science block and saw Nick coming out of a classroom.
“Hi,” Nick said, stopping as Charlie approached and stood next to him. Nick looked down the hall gesturing as he next spoke. “You going that way?”
“Yeah. Maths,” Charlie agreed, looking down the hall himself then back at Nick.
“Same,” Nick said, eyes darting down to the small stack of papers and books in his hands. On top was a sheet of equations and questions which Nick began working on. Charlie watched him for a moment before speaking.
“Are you literally doing your homework while walking to your lesson?”
“I might be,” Nick admitted, he didn’t look all that guilty though, he was as casual as ever. It was kind of adorable. Which was, admittedly, a dangerous thought to have about a straight boy.
“That’s very chaotic,” Charlie laughed. Nick shook his head just the slightest bit, not really looking away from his homework.
“That makes me sound way cooler than I actually am,” he denied. Charlie’s eyes flicked from the side of Nick’s face to his worksheet then back.
“Do you want me to do that for you?” he asked before he could think better of it. The look Nick shot him was a bit incredulous and he shook his head no.
“No, I’m good,” he said, going back to writing.
“I can tell you the answer.”
“Ah, but then I won’t learn,” Nick said, finally looking back at Charlie. It made him want to roll his eyes. If Charlie knew the answer he could just help.
“If you’re stuck I can just– Let me just–” Charlie said, grabbing for Nick’s homework.
Nick attempted to push Charlie away, laughing as he said, “Get off!”
In the scuffle Charlie felt Nick’s stupid fountain pen scratch along his hand and he withdrew. He pulled his hand back to inspect the damage.
“How dare you?” he gasped, pointing at his hand as he playfully glared at Nick. It was a bit unlike Charlie to be so comfortable being playful with someone so soon after meeting them, but Nick was different. Nick was the kind of person who made him feel happy, young. Despite being only fourteen, Charlie often felt much older than he was, the things he’d already gone through in his life having made him feel like he had to grow up.
Nick’s mouth had fallen open but he quickly pressed his lips together, as if trying not to laugh, then grabbed Charlie's hand. Unsure what he was doing Charlie tried to pull his hand away but Nick pulled Charlie’s wrist closer to him. Then he made two dots on Charlie’s hand above the line he’d accidentally drawn and let Charlie go.
Charlie glanced down at his hand, there just between his thumb and forefinger was a small slightly misshapen blue smiley face.
“Better?” Nick asked. Charlie was a little afraid to look back at him, this was such a strange interaction and his mind was carrying him away on fantasies which could not be real. Of a future and a life with Nick Nelson by his side. Charlie felt a smile form on lips, completely unable to help himself. It felt like forever before he glanced back up at Nick but it was only milliseconds.
“Maybe,” Charlie agreed, His smile turning into a grin as he looked at the apprehensive but welcoming expression on Nick’s face. Nick was always so– open and happy, like nothing could bring him down.
“Are you flirting with me, Charlie Spring?” Nick asked cheekily, the big grin spreading on his face.
Except maybe that.
The fact that Nick was smiling, still jovial and not disgusted or anything, didn’t really occur to Charlie. He just pulled away quickly, taking a half step back from Nick, suddenly realising how close they were standing. That must have been so awkward for Nick. Then he shook his head.
“N– no, of course not, Nick I–”
“Hey, oh no,” Nick said softly, ducking his head to catch Charlie’s eye, it was difficult since Charlie’s eyes were now firmly on the floor. The toes of his black shoes suddenly in Charlie’s view as Nick stepped back closer. It was only after Nick layed a reassuring hand on Charlie’s forearm that he looked up. “Hi.”
“Hi,” Charlie said nervously.
“I didn’t mean to upset you, I was just joking around. I’m sorry, that was– that was shitty of me to joke like that,” Nick said, looking genuinely contrite. Charlie shook his head and gave Nick a shy smile.
“It’s fine, Nick,” Charlie assured him. Nick nodded, then pointed his head toward the maths corridor.
“We’ll be late,” Nick said and they started walking again. Side by side, shoulders almost touching, Nick looked contemplative and didn’t go back to his homework. “Look I– I was just joking around, but I hope you don’t think I’m homophobic, I wasn’t making fun of you.”
“Oh,” Charlie said, looking at Nick. He thought for a moment then shrugged. “No, yeah, I understand. I– I didn’t think you were being– I mean I didn’t think you meant it that way.”
“Right, cause I didn’t,” Nick said emphatically. “I meant it like you know– how friends joke– and I– I wouldn’t mind if you flirted with me. I mean! God, I mean it wouldn’t bother me. I mean–”
“Nick,” Charlie laughed, squeezing Nick’s arm. He looked at Nick again and smiled, for real this time. Nick was just too cute. “I understand. Calm yourself.”
Nick chuckled and nodded. When Charlie looked forward again he saw Ben walking down the corridor toward them.
“Hey,” Charlie said, smiling but he stopped at the confused and disgusted look Ben shot at him.
“What?” Ben said, horrified, clearly, that Charlie was speaking to him. At all or just in front of Nick, Charlie wasn’t sure.
“Uh– Just, ‘hi’,” Charlie said awkwardly, his voice growing quieter over the short sentence.
“Why are you talking to me? I don’t know who you are,” Ben said, tone matter-of-fact but a little confused. He was smiling but it wasn’t like he smiled when they were alone. The smile on his face right now kind of turned Charlie’s stomach.
Nick glanced from Charlie to Ben then back. Charlie could feel himself spirling, sinking into himself. Ben opened his mouth as if to speak when suddenly Nick laughed, a rich real laugh. Charlie couldn’t imagine what was so funny since Ben was kind of being a dick. Which wasn’t really Nick’s thing. Nick moved to stand next to Ben swinging an arm over his shoulder in a familiar way.
“This is Charlie, Ben, he sits next to me in form. I told you about him,” Nick said with an eye roll. He removed his arm from around Ben’s shoulders giving him a playful shove, not really noticing the intense way Charlie and Ben were now staring at each other. “You can be such a dick sometimes, honestly. “Why are you talking to me?” Piss off,” Nick laughed, mimicking Ben’s flat tone of voice and looking from one boy to the other. Ben looked– well Charlie wasn’t exactly sure what emotion he was feeling but then Ben laughed, shaking his head, scratching at the back of his neck in an embarrassed way.
“Oh, right, sorry,” Ben said, he gave Charlie a short smile then walked away. He didn’t acknowledge that they knew each other at all. Charlie felt like he could suddenly breathe when Ben was safely gone.
“You’re friends with Ben?” Charlie asked after a beat, it was the only thing he could think of.
“Oh yeah, he’s my best mate,” Nick said, oh so casually.
Charlie’s mouth feel open in a really attractive and kind of cartoonish way but he couldn’t help it. He’d been sneaking around with Ben for months. He’d been, embarrassingly, watching Ben for months. How had he never noticed this? His brain ran through all the instances of Nick and Ben but there was nothing that stood out. Nothing that pinpointed them as “best mates”. At most he’d seen then standing at the same table by the front gate but like– all the popular guys did that and–
God.
Charlie was having a meltdown in his head because this was bad, this was so bad, right? Wasn’t it–. Nick didn’t notice Charlie’s horror or at least he didn’t seem to notice as he continued on to maths, pulling Charlie along with him.