Chapter Text
Once upon a time, a princess had a pocket, and in that pocket was the littlest mouse. The princess fed the mouse crumbs from the most decadently frosted chocolate cakes, generous slices of the sweetest honey-roasted hams, and the most buttery bits of pretty pink salmon.
The littlest mouse was treated well, and everything was well until the littlest mouse was flung from the pocket when the princess was on her horse. The horse, spooked by the littlest mouse, reared up on its hindquarters to squash the littlest mouse as the princess screamed. The littlest mouse darted away, hoping to find the princess’s room, but instead found rat cages buzzing with flies over mouse carcasses, and cats in the castle whose tongues reeked of mousey flesh. Enraged by the sight, the littlest mouse scampered through crevices and cracks in the walls to find the kitchen, and stole the littlest knife.
Unfortunately for everyone else, the littlest mouse was adept at finding weak points, and began their plight with a cook in the kitchen. When the cook saw the littlest mouse, he shouted, "A mouse! A mouse in my kitchens! Oh dear heavens, someone kill it!", and waved his spatula at the littlest mouse desperately. The littlest mouse just snickered at the foolish cook, who didn't notice that he was the only one in the kitchen, and he carved a smile on the cook's neck with the littlest knife. The littlest mouse cackled as they scurried away, and stuck that knife in the necks of everyone in that castle. The littlest mouse was a conqueror… until the princess came back into the castle and saw what the littlest mouse had done.
“Little mouse! Oh, little mouse!” she cried, “you were my best friend! Why oh why did you murder everyone?”
The mouse just smiled, razor-sharp teeth stained with blood and cat hair. “I am the LITTLEST mouse, and I have always been murderous, princess. You made me forget my nature in treasuring me, but no longer shall I be swayed by human hands!” the littlest mouse crowed, and lunged at the princess. As she screamed, the littlest mouse drew a smiley curve across her neck, red as tomato flesh.
Once everyone was dead, the mouse rejoiced! But it was winter, and there was nobody to light the logs in the fireplace and nobody to make his oh-so-delicious meals for him, so the murderous littlest mouse starved to death in that cold, empty castle.