Work Text:
Shinsou isn’t a stranger to late nights.
He has long grown used to spending the hours where night blankets Japan, the deep bags under his eyes proof enough.
However, his nocturnal activities were always spent alone. The quiet of the night was peaceful, and provided a sense of privacy. He grew used to that privacy, longed for it when the time spent at school seemed to stretch on forever, the sun beating on him.
UA was a new chapter of his life, obviously. But it had brought changes he hadn’t expected.
Namely, friends.
Shinsou was not a friendly person. He was not unhappy with that fact, he quite liked to be alone. He reveled in the courage that overtook him when he was all alone, no one could see him, judge him, he could do whatever he wanted.
Being alone is not a bad thing. At Least that’s what he thought.
New classmates, and supposed rivals from the hero course seemed eager -too eager- to befriend him.
They were unrelenting in their mission to familiarize themselves with him. They would call out to him when they spotted him in the halls, ask for his phone number, try to fill the silence with small talk, and he could not figure out why.
The most perplexing of all, Izuku Midoriya.
He had fought him at the sports festival. He had used insults and tricks to anger him, anything to win. He had almost done it.
Midoriya shouldn’t be acting like he’s the same as all his other friends. He should be wary of him, he should glare at him, or ignore him.
Not befriend him!
Shinsou was happy with his loneliness. Midoriya, however, was not. And since anything he puts his mind to, he accomplishes, he managed to wiggle into Shinsou’s life, bit by bit.
Suddenly those quiet nights Shinsou spent at cafes, or parks, or even his own dorm, were not quite so lonely anymore.
Now the night blanketed another.
Most of these nights were spent studying. Shinsou was often more productive at night, rather than during the day. He took advantage of the silence to really focus.
Midoriya would tag along to whatever destination Shinsou had chosen for that night, textbook in hand, backpack resting on his shoulders. And a soft appreciation for the early morning hours he shared with Shinsou.
Tonight, Shinsou had finished his homework and was busy idly scrolling on his phone. Midoriya sat across from him in the booth they had claimed, textbooks and papers spread across the table.
Midoriya had yawned and nervously uttered about Aizawa sensei’s feared tests, sat down in the booth, and immediately buried himself in his textbooks. He hadn’t moved a muscle since, the only indicator of his wakefulness was the constant scratching from his pencil.
Shinsou watched the minutes pass, occasionally glancing at Midoriya’s hunched form. His green bushy hair obscuring his face from view.
Tonight Shinsou was in a thoughtful mood. Some of his classmates had been talking about a new webcomic series they had started. Shinsou didn’t usually eavesdrop but the topic caught his attention.
The main character, after valiantly fighting a long grueling battle is able to finish off the fearsome wizard threatening the kingdom. Instead of begging for mercy, the wizard, with a desperate glint in his eye offers the hero the chance to change anything he would like. To bring back anyone he wanted, to give himself powers, anything.
Shinzo didn’t like to dwell on what if scenarios, but this had him thinking. It was one of those nights where self loathing and the taunting of what could have been haunts his mind.
It is with that in mind, that Shinsou decides to ask midoriya a question. Setting down his phone he adjusts his posture and opens his mouth.
“Midoriya.”
At the call of his name, Midoriya halts his writing, and tilts his head, in what might have been him glancing up. However his hair still obscures his face.
Sufficiently convinced he has Midoriya’s attention, Shinsou continues.
“Do you ever wonder what could have been?”
He lets the question linger in the air, suddenly nervous to what Midoriya might think.
“Like, if I’d never gotten into UA, or if I won that match at the sports festival…” Midoriya shifts. “Or if… I’d been born with a different quirk.”
The silence is comforting, Shinsou enjoyed silence. But this silence was one he’d never experienced before.
The words seemed to echo in his ears in the absence of a response. Midoriya had tensed, but Shinsou couldn’t tell what he was thinking. The silence made him uneasy.
After a moment, long enough for Shinsou to consider taking it back, maybe enough for him to declare he was going home, had passed. Midoriya straightened.
There was a war inside his eyes. A war in his head that Shinsou of course had no idea about. The question was unknowingly one that midoriya knew intimately. Tossing and turning late at night, tormented by the possibilities that made the truth all the more depressing.
Midoriya had asked that question, at first filled with hope that was soon crushed after his appointment. Then with denial when faced with harsh bullying. Then with bitterness, staring at his shaking hands after a close call with that sludge villain. If things had been different.
The words that haunted him. “Pray you’ll be born with a quirk in your next life… and take a swan dive off the roof of the building!”
He had explored every possibility, had created entire worlds in his head where he was born ideal. He had explored, with hope, denial, bitterness, anger, hopelessness, but never acceptance.
Never acceptance. He simply could not accept the way things were. He couldn’t handle being a quirkless nobody. He wanted, longed, to be someone. And though pathetic, the possibilities he came up with comforted him, even if soon after reality caught up to him and made him loath himself further.
But that had all changed. Now he was somebody, the what if scenarios had come true. He still had been a quirkless nobody at one point, but would he change that?
The war came to a close. He had made up his mind.
Midoriya smiled placatingly.
“No.” Not anymore. He met Shinsou’s eyes.
“Everything that’s happened to me, has brought me here. With you. And I’m happy with that.”
Shinsou blinked. The answer soothing his troubled mind if only a little. And he found himself smiling as well.
“Hey, how about we get some fried chicken. I’m hungry.” He stood, stretching.
“…me too, but the test…”
“You’ve been studying for like 3 hours, I think you’re pretty prepared now.”
Midoriya glanced at his textbook, torn between two options: take a break and thus end his studying session, or keep studying and probably pass out at some point.
His stomach growled and he sighed, closing the textbook with a thump. He carefully organized his papers and stood once he had zipped his backpack.
“Don’t worry, I’ll pay this time.”
“But-“
“You paid last time. Shut up.”
Shinsou turned to him with a playful smile, as he held the door of the cafe for midoriya.
Maybe he was right, things are pretty good right now, and dwelling on what if’s won’t change anything.
The cold breeze ruffled his hair and he couldn’t help but look at the dark sky, the stars glittering up above.
And as he walked next to Midoriya, who was talking about nothing in particular, smiling, all thoughts about the past melted away.