Work Text:
Re: 03.30.23
“Ah. You finally did it, I see.”
Jungkook looked up immediately at my voice, pocketing his phone in a flurry of eager movements as he pushed back up from the wall where he had been leaning.
“Hyung. Hi. You…That was so quick.”
I rose an eyebrow. “Well, you asked me to hurry, didn’t you?”
My next steps put me well into the realm of his personal space, the tip of his nose nudging my cheek when he nodded, and I smiled at the blush streaming into his cheeks, at the feeling of his hands slotting at my hips, fiddling with the hem of my shirt.
“Missed me that bad, huh?” I teased, tugging playfully at the strings of his hoodie. “You’re all flustered.”
His fingers squeezed at my waist. “Of course, I did. You were the first person I wanted to tell.”
“Mm. Sure I was.” And I let something a bit more sharp and matter-of-fact slip onto my face. “You do realize I’m gonna be worried all the time now, right?”
He sighed, pulling me half a step closer as his tone dropped. “I…I do. And I wish I could make it so you wouldn’t be. But I promise you I’ll be safe, hyung. I’m so good at handling them now. You know I am.”
And maybe I did know he was good (because maybe I had, in fact, seen the hard truth for myself these last few months as Jungkook had been learning), but I couldn’t resist putting up at least a teeny tiny fuss because we had still talked about this.
“Gguk, it’s not that I doubt you, okay? It’s…It’s all the other people that scares me. I mean something horrible could happen that’s totally not your fault, and what am I supposed to do if—”
“Hey.” He was cradling my chin in an instant, staring down the flickers of angst threatening to overwhelm my senses. “We don’t live like that, hyung. I know I’ve got too much to lose by being reckless, and that’s all I can promise you. That I’ll be as safe as I can. Always, okay?”
I allowed myself a moment of being slightly reassured by the conviction in his eyes before I deflated into his sternum and the steady pulse of that rambunctious, precious heartbeat.
“Hyungie, come on.” He pinched at my waist, a gentle plea slipping into his tone. “You have to admit that it’s nice, isn’t it?”
The motorcycle was indeed very nice—jet black from the wheels to the handlebars and shining in all the right places like it had just rolled from one of those collector’s edition Harley Davidson magazines cluttering Jungkook’s nightstand—and, with no further complaints beyond a sharp swallow, I nodded, forcing myself to cast a few wary glances over the sleek machine parked there in Jungkook’s spot, just to the left of where we stood. About as quickly as might be expected, I noticed the black and gold-trimmed helmet hanging from one of the handlebars, and something a bit more calm did seep into my chest at the sight.
“It is, it is,” I conceded, managing a resigned grin when I looked up to meet the delight in his eyes. “It looks very cool, Gguk…very like you. When did you get it?”
“Earlier today.”
“Today? You told me you were working.”
“I was,” he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice as he pulled away to shuffle around the far side of his newest toy. “I did some work like I said this morning, and then…I took a break.”
“Uh huh.”
“It’s last year’s model,” he noted, his eyes twinkling. “Used, but just lightly. Only about five hundred miles. Someone suggested to me a while ago that I shouldn’t take the risk of getting one right off the lot, so...”
The smirk playing at the corners of his mouth, messing around with that damn lip ring, was so endearing, so, so precious and sexy that I felt my arms unfolding from across my chest entirely without my permission.
“You do listen to me sometimes then?” I huffed, fighting a smile of my own.
“I always listen to you, hyung,” he said, beaming. “But I did splurge and get it fully detailed.”
I rolled my eyes. “Of course you did.”
“Come over here.”
“What for? Aren’t you coming insid—Gguk-ah, no. Absolutely not. You know I get so nervous, and…Baby, I’m tired…”
He had pulled up a second helmet from the other side of the bike, and even as I groaned in adamant protest, he advanced on me with determined strides.
“Hyung, I’ve already checked your schedule. You’re finally free for like two weeks or something starting tomorrow, so you can sleep in. Just”—his lips were curling into an adorable pout—“Just let me share this with you. Please.”
God damn it.
“Jungkook, no,” I insisted, wondering when I had become the homebody out of the two of us.
“Minie.”
“No.”
“Babe, come on. I…I know you’re tired, but just one ride, okay? Then I’ll bring you right back.”
Because resistance truly was futile when Jungkook got like this, he was adjusting the helmet over my ears in the next ten seconds, his eyes flitting attentively over each cinch and clasp and strap, while the beanie I had been wearing was removed, folded into a neat strip of cloth and tucked away into one of the pockets of his cargo pants. He was beaming at me like the smiley face emoji when he was done, and, fucking hell, why was every single one of his happy emotions so damn infectious?
“I have missed you, hyung,” he said again, his thumbs teasing almost tentatively at the few strands of my hair that had escaped the helmet’s confinement. “So much. You…You know that, right?”
Where his gentle wheedling had gotten me all loose and easy and yes, of course, whatever you want, my baby like I was most days with him, his tone now had me sobering up in a heartbeat, tense and halfway worried and faltering a bit at the weight that had suddenly dropped like an anchor in his eyes.
I frowned. “I…I never doubted it, Gguk-ah.”
I never doubted you.
Even if I had to remind myself that they were true as I said the words.
Because of all the things that made me doubt, even when my mind and my thoughts were at their darkest, Jungkook was always there. Always light. And I was opening my mouth again to probe a bit further—because he should know that, he should never be asking me something that made me think he didn’t know that—but then his eyes were glittery mischief again.
“You trust me?” he asked, backing out of my arms towards the bike.
I was nodding before he could finish the question and took a step or two or three after him as he swung one leg over the tail to settle down into the inky-black, leather saddle. The whole was taller than I anticipated, and watching him, I stammered a bit, uncertain how to follow: “How do I…um…”
“Ah. Here, do just what I did, hyung. Just like you’re riding backseat on an ATV. And make sure you’re sitting all the way on the leather, alright? Closer than that—Okay, good. Go ahead and lift your feet onto the rests there. No, not—Yeah, there. And spread your legs a bit more. Remember I told you it can get hot so just—That’s perfect.” Pausing for a moment, he looked up to meet my eyes, another sweet, enquiring smile at his lips. “Feel okay?”
“Mhm.”
“…You sure?”
“Do you want me to change my mind?”
A flicker of excitement went off like a sparkler in his eyes, and he turned away to fiddle with his helmet. Seconds later, I heard his voice from within my own: “You look good back there, babe.”
I chuckled, curling my fingers into the back of his hoodie as I felt the engine rumble to a soft purr of awakening beneath us. “I’m sure I look like an idiot for letting you accost me like this. I’m barely even dressed.”
He shook his head, the smile warm and soft in my ear. “Nuh uh. You’re cutie, sexy, lovely always, Minie. Pull down your vizor, and hold on tighter, okay? Wrap your hands all the way around my waist.”
“Okay, but…Wait. Gguk-ah, where are we going? I-It’s just a short trip, right? Ggukie?”
“Ah, ah. No spoilers, Min.”
~
The ride was ridiculously smooth.
Traffic in general was mild, but even if it hadn’t been, Jungkook’s obvious mastery of yet another skill was as obvious as it was inspiring. He kept us mostly on the side roads where the air was still earthy and sweet with the greening boughs of elm and gingko trees. They lined the streets in endless rows, swayed a bit in the light of a setting sun, and I swayed with them, leaning into the slightly humid breeze that whipped its way around our shoulders.
For perhaps the first time in weeks, time in my world slowed, passed without my noticing into clumps of pale gold and muted rose. And without being fully aware it was happening, I relaxed down into the solidity of Jungkook’s spine, let myself get heavier in the seat, was able to release some of the dread and look a bit more calmly at the scenery, at the trees and the hints of pastel red and pink peeking out sky-side from between the buildings.
Jungkook’s voice came deep and curious in my ear after a handful of minutes had passed: “How’re you doing back there, Minie?”
We were at a stoplight, flanked on either side by cars, and I tightened my grip on his waist, grinning a bit into his shoulder at the delicious anonymity of this moment.
“Fine,” I said, perhaps a bit too mild to be completely honest. “This is…nicer than I thought it would be for sure.”
“Oh, yeah?” A light chuckle was rumbling through my helmet. “So, maybe this won’t be the last time you let me accost you, huh?”
“Oh no, no. Don’t you go getting any ideas,” I laughed back, giving his belly a warning poke through the hoodie. “This is way different than riding on the highway or anywhere else but these side roads. And I was promised just one ride, remember? Then back home.”
“I know, I know,” he snorted, nodding over the handlebars. “I’ll keep my promise, Minie. Just hold on, okay?”
“As if I would ever let go…”
“Hey, listen, I…I do need you to do something for me before we head back though, okay? You still trust me, right?”
The bike started rolling again with a gentle, slow jerk as he spoke, but the sensation of hearing the question hit my ears twice in such a short amount of time felt like whiplash.
“Gguk-ah, of course. Why are—”
“Don’t ask questions. Just close your eyes and keep them closed until I say open.”
“What? No.”
“Babe, it shouldn’t be more than ten minutes, okay?” His voice came clear enough for me to hear the teasing, pleading grin that was most certainly playing around his lips. “Can you do it for me? Please?”
Fuck.
~
“Jungkook, can I open my eyes now? What is this all about? I thought we were just going on a ride.”
We had stopped once again, and when Jungkook suddenly shuddered the engine, I was surprised at the quietness that swooped in to fill the void. No cars. No chattering people. Just the sound of our breathing and the crunch of gravel beneath the wheels and Jungkook’s boots. Faint birdsong and wind maybe and—
“Just a second, babe.”
There was excitement again in his voice and the sensation of him turning, his hand slipping in to replace the solid grip I had maintained on the front of his shirt since we pulled out of the garage. The sound of him nudging the kickstand back into place and unbuckling his helmet came next, jarring me further, and I chewed at my lips.
“Jungkook-ah.”
“Okay, okay. Come here. Yeah, go ahead and climb off, but don’t open yet.”
He was behind me when I stepped to the ground, his hands swift in unbuckling my own helmet and replacing my beanie. Then they were on my waist.
One step.
Two steps forward.
His thumbs pulling me back half a step to a hard stop and pressing micro circles into my hipbones.
“Alright, babe.” I heard him swallow hard. “You can look now.”
~
Far off to the right, the sun had left a smidge of deep magenta on the skyline. It lingered a bit too in the clouds and in the river, which cut like a sheet of thick velvet between here and there, between the dark of the tree line and the lights that flickered like stars in all the buildings and skyscrapers scattered throughout the valley. There was dark green and pale, younger shades of early leaves spread like an umbrella above the overlook. And candles. Tall pillar candles nestled in sand that had been gathered into sets of three at each corner of a checkered blanket laid on the ground. There were other lights too, strings of them stretched above, from tree to tree, and a sheet had been draped over one of them to make a tent of sorts, lit up from the inside. A bouquet of stunning, pastel flowers sat already in a vase, nestled safely off to one side on a low, picnic table, and Congratulations, my Angel was clearly written in Jungkook’s bold script across the front of a card placed just so before the vase.
It was a stunning scene, perhaps the most romantic thing Jungkook had ever done for me, and before I could even take it all in, my eyes were blurring.
“Do you like it?” he asked.
He was starting to fidget behind me, and when I didn’t answer right away (because I couldn’t), he started to ramble the way he did sometimes when he wasn’t sure if he had done the right thing: “I…I know you’re tired, babe, but I’ve been wanting to bring you here for a long time, and I thought that, uh, this might be a nice way to celebrate the end of your promotions since neither of us can really go anywhere else right now, but I…I know it’s late, Minie, and that you’re tired like you said, and I’m sorry it couldn’t be—”
“It’s perfect.”
“—be…What?”
I turned in his arms, reached up to cradle his face in my hands. “Jungkook, baby, it’s perfect. I love it.”
His eyes searched my own, seeing me the way only he ever could, and his hands rose slowly, tentatively to mirror mine, to smooth away whatever wetness had gathered on my cheeks.
“Are these happy tears then?”
I nodded, blinking fast and letting even more slip down. “Absolutely happy tears.”
“Really?” He struggled with an uncertain smile.
“Jungkook, how…how could I not love this? I…It’s…It’s beautiful. It’s…” And I shivered with sudden, overwhelming delight watching those inevitable, empathetic tears built in his own eyes. “Jungkook-ah. You idiot. I’ve missed you too, you know? I’ve ached for you. For this. For us…So, so much, jagi.”
And I really, really had.
Work had kept me busy, as it always did, but going home to my own apartment, to an empty bed, every night for weeks and months now…it had been hard. Harder than perhaps either of us had anticipated. And while it was true that I never doubted Jungkook, it would be a lie to say that I hadn’t had other, equally unpleasant thoughts.
Like today.
I hadn’t expected Jungkook to call.
It had been days since we last were able to speak together, even just on the phone, and I was surprised when he called.
Hyung, where are you? Are you home?
Months ago, he wouldn’t have had to ask.
Can you come down to the garage?
He would have already known.
I want to show you something.
“I-I’ve been coming up here for years, Jimin,” Jungkook said, a tender sort of melancholy slipping across his eyes. “To this exact spot actually. And almost every time I came, I would just sit and start thinking about you…wonder how you were dealing with this or that, about how your practices were going or your recordings, pray you were eating well, think about things with us…And when I started riding, I started coming up here even more, thinking about you till I was homesick. It started feeling so empty without you being here with me, so I planned to bring you here as a celebration when you were done with your promotions…You know when you could enjoy it fully, how beautiful it is up here, and we could celebrate being together like this again.”
His honesty was always jarring and precious, but perhaps never more so than in times like this, when it had been so very long since I had been able to have him like this.
Swallowing hard on even more tears, I draped my arms around his shoulders. “You did so, so good, baby…Thank you.”
He beamed. “You’re welcome.”
~
We were laying together on the blanket sometime later, my head on his chest, the pair of us already more than halfway drunk off the beer and dopey-eyed with the simple satisfaction of being in each other’s arms again.
“Is it weird that this is reminding me of Saipan?” I muttered, playing with the fingers of one of his hands.
The other was fiddling a bit with my hair, and it paused briefly in its caress at my question.
“Saipan?” he hummed, his eyes mapping constellations in the blue-black sky above us. “What part? 2018 or…”
“No, it was 2017,” I smiled, curling a bit further into the side of his chest. “Our first real, real date. On the beach. The cave.”
“Ah.” I heard his lips curl into a fond grin of his own. “Yes, of course. I…I think that was a prettier day than this, maybe. And we had way more time to prepare.”
Giggling a little as the memory washed over me, I studied what I could make out of the side of his face, the scrunch of his nose, the curl of his lips, the way the dim light from the candles set off sparks of glittering gold in his eyes.
“I saw you more back then,” I said after a while.
“Mhm.”
He nodded around the murmuring, only just so, and there it was again, that weight in his jaw, coming to suck away some of the light in his smile.
I sighed. “Ggukie—”
“It’s just crazy to think about it like that, Minie, because…I mean now, unlike then, we literally have an apartment together. Our own personal apartments might as well be in the same complex. Less than a ten-minute walk, and…Fuck, babe. Is…Is this right?”
My brow furrowed. “Is what right?”
“Is it right that I-I haven’t seen you in over a month in person? That we live ten minutes away from each other and we haven’t—Jimin. I-I know we were messing around that day on Weverse like we always do, but I honestly cannot believe I didn’t realize that your promotions were over. I had the date in my phone, and—or at least I thought it was the right date—and I had plans to do this already too, but with my recordings picking up and the CK shoots and everything, it all slipped away from me, and I—”
“Ggukie, stop.” Sighing, I pulled myself up to curl a bit more over his chest, stare down the tremors in his eyes. “I’ve said it enough times. Neither of us have done the best job of managing this time. It’s been weird and different, yeah, but we haven’t changed. I still trust you. I still want you. Now more than ever. And you know I was never mad at you about you missing the recording.”
“I-I know, but I still wanted to be there, Minie…Ah. Your first solo album. It’s crazy…” Pausing, he gifted me with a rueful grin. “You inspired me, like you always do, you know? The second I saw that first dance practice for Set Me Free. I haven’t really been able to stop working since, I guess.”
“I’m proud of you, baby,” I said, nuzzling my way down into the crook of his arm. “And I never doubted you. Or us. I just…I had started to think…Well, I wasn’t sure what to think. Three months is a long time.”
He sighed into my neck, almost but not quite tasting the skin. “…It was.”
We had gone to Busan together over the holidays in January, and those ten days from months ago were the last time we had shared a bed.
In discussions we had already had about it, we had mutually agreed that it was something we probably both bore responsibility for, and I had been clear in insisting that Jungkook try not to languish in any more guilt than his fair share. Jungkook, on the other hand, struggled with letting things go. He always had.
And while, years ago, I might have pressed or pushed or gotten angry with him because of it, I was a better man today. So much better able to love him well.
So, I allowed the dense quiet as it came. I allowed him a few moments to brood, to process, before I was pressing my way gently, but firmly through the drone of his inner critic: “The main thing that reminded me of Saipan was just having you alone like this,” I whispered into his neck. “When we go out to eat with friends or the hyungs there are always so many people we have to hide from and pretend for.”
He leaned down to kiss my forehead, a soft smile in his voice. “So you like having me all to yourself, huh?”
“I actually love having you all to myself,” I sighed, stroking a single finger down his cheek. “It’s one of my favorite things in the whole world.”
He chuckled. “I see.”
“In fact, I’ve just decided that we must do this more often.”
“Ah. Well, your wish is my command, Minie.”
“How long did it take you to do this, hm?” I asked, raising a curious eyebrow. “It must have been easier than Saipan, right? Not having to beg Namjoon-hyung or Sejin-hyung or talk Hobi-hyung into playing look-out?”
“Oh, yeah. God, I had forgotten that.” He snorted a little as the memory came back. “And we did all that for what? Two, three hours back then, huh? It was totally worth it, but wow…Yeah, this was pretty easy in comparison. The park director is a biker too. I met him at the shop a few months back and told him how much I loved this place. He said for me to let him know if he could ever do anything for me, and, from there, when I finally had a physical date, it was nothing to get them to shut down for the night. Sunjae helped me a lot with the food and the setup and even spraying for bugs. I’m grateful to him. And I’m so glad you like it, Minie.”
“No, Gguk. What I said was that I love it, baby,” I insisted, now tracing the lines of his jaw with my fingers. “Get it right.”
Again, his chest shook with fond laughter. “Alright, alright. I’m so glad you love it then. Maybe next time we can go to the…Minie? What is it?”
He had surrendered to the press of my hand on his chin, turned to look at me with all the infinity behind those galaxy eyes, and suddenly the world was softening at the edges, dissolving away beneath us.
“I…I love you most of all, Gguk-ah,” I breathed. “You know that, right?”
It felt like it had been too long since I had said it out loud to him, face-to-face like this.
Even so, he swallowed hard and nodded instantly, his nose flaring, the irises of his eyes shrinking back into the white. “I-I love you back, Min. Always.”
It was as if the words alone had compelled me forwards, my lips crashing into his own, parting them, making my way in and back, consuming and devouring like a man starved.
His hands splaying and pressing like a brand across my back.
My fingers burying themselves in the thickness of his hair.
It had been too long.
“Minie, ah…”
And from one moment to the next, we were melting into us once more.
“Jungkook. My baby.”
So heated that everything around us was melting away too.
“…God, babe.”
All of it reduced, until there was only the fire itself.
“Baby, I-I want you to do something for me, okay?” I smiled into his skin as I kissed my way across his throat, as electricity shot up and down my spine. “Do you trust me?”
“Jimin, I…O-Of course, but—”
“No. No buts. No questions. Hyung just wants you to close your eyes and keep them closed for a while, yeah?” And as I spoke, I rolled myself into a smooth straddle of his thin waist, pulled the corner of the sheet we were lying on up and over his eyes. “No peeking.”
“Ah, hyung, I…shit, babe, as much as I fucking want, ah…We…babe…we can’t do this he—”
He shivered himself speechless at the sensation of my fingers dancing along his collarbone, tugging at his oversized t-shirt until I could toss it away into the fuzzy edges of all that was beyond him. I traced the goosebumps along his skin as if I could read them. I nibbled and teased at the ripples of pleasure vibrating through his abs.
“Hm?” I hummed, pinching the skin just so between my teeth. “We can’t do what, baby?”
“God…J-Jiminie…”
“No peeking like I said, hm? Promise me.”
His tongue slipped out, fiddled with his lip ring as he muttered those precious words without delay into the space between us.
I promise, Minie.
I slipped down the blank canvas of his chest, marking it as I went, smiling into each kiss, desperate to bite and mark and claim and—
“Damn, it truly is a beautiful bike, Gguk-ah.”
“H-Hyung…”
“You’ve done so well, baby, learning how to handle it so well to share it with me. And I think I wanna go for another ride already…”
My hands were teasing the fine hairs at the base of his navel, plucking at the hooks securing his cargo pants, and seconds later, I was kissing at his hipbones, at his thighs, enchanted by the candlelight pooling into the curves of his olive skin.
“Gah, Jimin…fucking…ha!”
“Yeah. That’s it, baby. Just one more ride, hm?”
.
.
.
We tended towards forgetfulness the pair of us, but at the core there was never any doubt that we were one heartbeat, one soul. And regardless of whether it had been months or days or merely hours, it never took more than a single round for us to remember that.
All the other times that came after the first were simply for the joy of the remembering.
For reveling in what it was like to again come to know the landscape of his body against and within and upon my own, to cascade pleasure back and forth and back and back again like waves endlessly coming undone upon the shoreline.
We laid under the stars making love until they faded into dawn, and by then it was as if no time had passed at all.
As if it had been only a moment since the last.
~