Chapter Text
As the Sun slowly risen up to the sky, shining life back into the once sleeping domain of the Zoras, Link stirred in his sleep due to the convenient placement of bright beams of sunlight shimmering down his face, the air in the room felt slightly warmer than before now that the Sun was out. However, the cool sensation of the domain itself made it difficult for the Hylian to fully awaken from his slumber. It felt so comfortable, so welcoming, especially when he had slept right next to-
"Mmhh... Sidon?"
Link groggily called out to his friend, not yet opening his eyes fully as the first thing he wanted was to be greeted by Sidon's voice. Something he had wanted years ago.
...
After being met with only silence would then the Hylian allowed light to flood into his vision, looking down into the now very empty pool. Oh. The blonde's heart sank, having lost the opportunity to wake up next to the Zora King whom he shared a room with. Just as he had lost the opportunity to share his life with.
Pushing himself off the ground, he winced at the slight discomfort, mostly his joints feeling stiff as hell from sleeping on the cold hard floor with just a blanket to cushion his back. Next time, he is bringing in a whole mattress into the bedroom. Or even a bed if Hylia allows him.
Rubbing his eyes, the Hylian's first thought was what exactly was he going to do. Well, his mind did just that, it is now telling him to quickly put away his pillows and blanket, wash up and teleport back to Akkala with his Purah Pad. He got what he exactly asked for. The responsibility of royalty must have called upon Sidon and therefore left Link to continue sleeping without waking him up to console him.
As touched as he is if that were the case, it did not do much to alleviate the hurt he felt upon waking up alone in Sidon's room. Letting out a disappointed sigh, Link shook his head over how overly attached he felt regarding his feelings for Sidon. They both knew nothing would come out of this and yet it never stopped their heart from beating faster when in each other's presence. It never stopped their gaze from lingering. Nor did it stop the two of them from sleeping side-by-side last night. Link hated it. He did not want his feelings for Sidon to simply burn out.
For the inferno of love to be reduced to ashes. There was no outlet for it and all the blonde had in mind was to replace the immense love he has for the Zora King with another. But he cannot. Even when the men he met were genuinely sweet. Even when they were good looking and even had similar personalities to Sidon... They didn't have the bond that the two had, the genuine trust they put in each other. To replace these attributes of the Zora with others would be a mockery to the love Link had for Sidon. Nor was it fair for these people that Link still held a strong emotional and romantic bond towards another.
Laying down back, Link could already feel the familiar dread of loneliness coming back, making him grip the sheets. It was fine. He was used to these for years now. Most certainly Link could handle weeks and months of not seeing his beloved Zora.
...wait, was he thinking of running away again?
The sound of the bedroom door opening startled Link out of his depressive thoughts, causing him to immediately sit up and face the door. A small smile crept upon his face as he saw Sidon bringing in a plate of roasted porgy in one hand as well as a cup of water in the other.
"Oh, you're up. Good morning Link. I actually, wanted to wake you up as soon as I brought you breakfast." Answered the Zora King with such a soft spoken tone and a friendly smile on his face. The giant Zora walked over to the Hylian, carefully lowering himself and setting the meal down for his friend to dig in.
Blinking, the Hylian silently felt utterly embarrassed of himself for having such an over the top reaction to the possibility of being left alone in the Zora's room. He thanked Sidon for the meal, picking up the utensils. Before he started eating, he stared at the man and asked if he had breakfast already. "Yes, I've eaten. I thought for certain you would still be asleep when I came back." Sidon replied softly as he gave a gentle pat the Hylian's shoulder to soothe his worry. It was both sweet and a bit condescending. Did the Zora royal expect Link to be whining and complaining that he left him all alone in the room?
Perhaps.
Link scoffed and pushed away the very comforting hand, with a deadpan expression he muttered under his breath. "I didn't miss you that much." Link lied as he breathed. The only reply he got from the caring Zora was just a very convincing- "Suure." -which was as genuine as their platonic friendship. Honestly, Link felt this close to pulling out a Splash Fruit and hurling it towards the Zora's handsome mug. Of course the Hylian was not going to be that petty, he essentially just received breakfast in bed and thus should be more than thankful.
Taking one bite of the food, Link almost moaned in sheer joy of just how heavenly it tasted, he could get used to this sort of treatment. So long as Sidon is by his side, that is. Sidon stared a bit at the blonde with a raised non-existing brow wondering if Link knew what he just did but quietly let it go, just happy to see his friend enjoying his meal. Both Sidon and Link had some small talk, with how early it was in the morning, not many interesting topics came to mind but it was fine. The fact that Link was having breakfast in Sidon's room was a feat in itself with the Zora's current status being both a King and a husband. Not many people would be given this kind of opportunity, Link was indeed, not just anyone to Sidon.
Half-way eating, Link brought up the current situation that if him sleeping in Sidon's room was going to be a one time thing only. The Zora fell silent, contemplating. He could consider himself lucky that Yona has not been informed of this, and if he were to be honest with his thoughts, guilt was slowly festering up within his heart of this supposed 'cheating' he is allowing. Yes, he did not exactly did anything intimate with Link ( except for the kiss on the hand ) but he brought in another person into his room which could give Yona the wrong idea and hurt their relationship and trust in one another, something he wishes to avoid as much as possible.
This whole situation was one big mistake.
Even so, Sidon cannot help but feel immense joy in his heart being so close to Link like this. Call it selfishness but genuinely, he wished Link were by his side instead. However, if it had been like before, he would be more than happy to allow Link to enter his room whenever, but now time's have changed. His life has changed. "No, but I am still glad to have you, maybe we both can have lunch together... just not here." The Zora said softly, looking a bit unsure of himself but speaking in a manner that was him deliberately trying to let Link down softly.
He should not push his luck when it came to this, he looked over to see if his friend continued eating due to the silence but noticed Link had put down his utensils, simply staring down onto the plate.
"Link?" Sidon nudged Link a bit with his shoulder, trying to get the Hylian's attention. They both were enjoying the moment, no? This did pull the man out of his thoughts, turning his face towards Sidon and giving what appeared to be an attempted smile. Not a very good one.
"It's just going to be like before the Upheaval, hmm? Us, hanging out, talking... and we repeat it all again and again." Letting out another sigh, Link really could not even be bothered to hide it within himself that he was not happy with their whole... situationship. They love each other, but are unable to commit to this love due to Sidon's marriage. Loyalty to his wife. To his people. To his kingdom. It all felt too mentally exhausting for his heart and mind, to play this song and dance again and again... and again.
"I've told you, if I could be with you Link I promise you I would've, I... I just can't. Not now... I'm sorry." Sidon thought for a second of placing a hand onto his beloved Hylian's shoulder for comfort but hesitated, somewhere deep down he felt as though Link really was not in the best mood to be touched right now.
Sidon's words were playing itself like a broken recorder inside the Hylian's mind.
Could've, would've, should've. That is all there is. Lost opportunities for both of them.
"... thank you for your hospitality, it was very kind of you, I think I'll be going now." Getting up, Link put away his pillows and blanket, thanking Sidon for allowing him to stay. The Zora King said nothing, his expression was just... indifference, simply sitting on the floor and watching his best friend cleaned up and not leaving any traces of him ever being in his room behind. With everything now packed up, Link walked over and reached for the door handle but, he hesitated. As if he was expecting at least a proper farewell greeting from the Zora so he knew that they could lie and pretend that they left on good terms. That despite Link’s abrupt leaving, they both can meet each other as if nothing is wrong.
But Sidon was not having it. He was tired as well.
"How long will it be? 3 more years? 4 years, perhaps?" Sidon finally spoke out in an almost condenscending tone, almost making light of his precious friend going back to ignoring him once more. Link's heart ached when the Zora he absolutely adores would almost taunt him like this. Believing he would run away as he did all those years ago. But who could blame him? That was what he essentially did.
Turning his head back, Link spoke to Sidon, his body language appearing slightly guarded.
"I'm not obligated to see you all the time, you know that. But I promise you, I'll visit when I can."
"I wish I could trust you... I really do. But your words just proves my point. You're not happy with what we have, are you?" Sidon accused, continuing to lock eyes with Link's form, already he could feel the effects of Link abandoning him, ignoring his letters, treating him like nothing, the grudges slowly seeping out. His dear friend was not happy with their usual friendly routine and so of course, the most logical conclusion was for Link to outright cut him out of his life. Pretend he never existed. As if that would make it any better.
"I am happy. Sidon, you mean a lot to me, being with you-"
"You know that's not what I meant, you're not happy that we both can never be more than just friends."
The blonde Hylian let out a frustrated groan, the walls he had built around his heart are slowly breaking down one by one. Putting on his best poker face, Link leaned onto the door, crossing his arm and staring daggers onto the Zora. He just wanted to get this over with.
"I'm trying, trying to be happy for your marriage like anyone would. But it's not good enough! I know that..."
Sidon shook his head to Link's words, either the Hylian genuinely was just trying to piss Sidon off by feinting ignorance or he generally does not know, none of which were reasons the Zora could even hope to comprehend.
"What made you think I would be upset with you over this?"
"Anyone would, if I were a good friend to you I would've been happy for you!"
"For an arranged marriage?!"
Sidon raised his voice with genuine confusion and concern painting his expression, was Link really upset that he could not play along with the 'happy marriage life' act? Was there something more out of the Hylian? Once again, the Zora continued.
"You know I could care less of how you feel about my marriage, what I want from you is you being honest to me about your feelings. Pushing me away won't solve your issue, neither is running away from your problems. I'm... tired of it all, Link. Tired of your lack of care for how I felt when you practically left me alone, uncaring of how I felt of loosing someone dearest to me."
"I-"
Link silenced himself. Absolutely bewildered by the raw emotion of Sidon's words. He knew he hurt Sidon but to hear it directly from the man's mouth was another level of pain he thought he was able to withstand. But he just could not.
He... hurt Sidon.
He knows he cannot keep doing this again and again, why must Sidon or anyone else suffer for his selfish behaviour?
"Link, if you so much as cared for me-"
"I DO care about you! Immensely! I care a lot that you are married, I HATE what I did to you! To us! I WISH we hung out like back then but I keep telling myself every fucking night that I should be happy for you, what’s done is done! I have to let you go but... I just, I can't!"
The Hylian wrapped his head, guilt washing over him as he knew that no matter how much bravery and courage he had over defeating countless monsters across Hyrule, he was weak when it came to the matter of the heart. Link hated how he hurt Sidon. Hated himself for hurting Sidon. It was just a never-ending cycle of self-loafing in which he had continuously allowed it to plague his mind every second he thought of the one man in this world that made him feel loved and adored.
And how he basically threw Sidon away the moment romance was never an option.
Sidon’s eyes widen, slightly surprised by the Hylian's outburst but tried his best to remain calm. The Zora was upset with how badly this conversation was steering off the intended path Sidon had hoped for. But now seeing how hurt his dearest Hylian seemed it only increased his worry more so than the feeling of being offended. In a whisper, he asked.
"Why not?"
"Because it hurts!" Link wrapped himself as he finally let it all out. "It really, really hurts, I don't know how to... fuck! Falling in love with you was the best thing to ever happen to me. Your words, your smile, your kindness, everything about you..." Trailing off, the grip on his arms felt too tight, he hated how much this was affecting him. But he could not stop himself even if he tried, not when the weight upon his heart was slowly dissipating. As much as he hated being put on the spot, he cannot deny it felt…freeing. Liberating to finally let out the bottled up emotions he had desperately kept inside for years by now.
"I can't replicate these feelings with just anyone. It HAS to be you... even when I know it shouldn't. Even though I tell myself that you ... never felt the same about me."
Softening his gaze, Sidon slowly took the first few steps towards Link, towards the man he loves, keeping in mind how much the Hylian was keeping everything inside for so long. How Link was constantly hating himself for having these emotions. Unable to throw them away despite his mind telling him it is the right thing to do when his heart said otherwise.
"... you know I would never feel offended were you to be unhappy about my marriage, Link. I don't want you to paint these feelings you have of me as something negative. I want you to express them."
Link shot his head up, just now noticing Sidon getting oh so close to him, the feeling becoming too painful and suffocating. "How?" His voice felt utterly pained and defeated, he just wanted this torment to be over.
Hearing that one single word had managed to cause the king to let out a breath of relief. Good. The Hylian is undeniably in love with him still and Sidon wished to not let even a drop of it go to waste.
"Tell me, put all of them into words. Write to me how much you love me. How much you want and need me. I will listen to each and every one of them." The Zora carefully placed his scaled red hand softly upon the Hylian's cheek, caressing them, never failing to appreciate the flustered look upon Link's face. How the anger that once dominated those eyes of his fell back to one of sadness instead.
"...you're horrible." Link spat out, pulling out a bitter chuckle out of the Zora as he let go of the blonde's cheeks. He knew how much his words were hurting his dear friend. Perhaps, he went a tad too far but Sidon did feel immense joy how much Link loves him despite the guilt. How the Hylian's love for his Zora was so great in fact that the man could not allow himself to be within the king's presence should he allow jealousy to burn him alive from within. It was wrong, but Sidon loves the feeling.
"Maybe so, consider us even." Sidon whispered, staring deeply into Link's ocean blue eyes, a part of him felt as though he could drown in them forever, never tire of their splendor, never tire of Link. Link on the other hand wanted nothing more but to see Sidon's eyes first thing in the morning every day of his life.
Wouldn't that be a beautiful dream?
As if time started to slow down, their eyelids felt heavy, face inches away, their breathing seized as they began to slowly close the gap between them and-
*Knock knock*
Both men jolted out of their position, Link had almost accidentally head butted Sidon which honestly would have made the situation way more comical than it actually was. Immediately he fetched out his Purah Pad in an attempt to teleport out of being found out in the Zora King's room, but his attempt was immediately thwarted by Sidon quickly grabbing Link's wrist, surprising the smaller blonde who stared at the Zora in confusion.
"Who is it?" Sidon called out in his more authoritative voice to the unknown visitor from outside, wanting to make sure whether or not the person outside was either one of the Zora guards or it was his wife.
"Your Majesty, the Queen is currently looking for you, is everything alright?"
Ahh, one of the guards and by the sound of the voice no doubt it was Bazz's. Breathing out a sigh of relief, the Zora King informed the guard that he would be coming out soon, his eyes trailing down and still seeing the Hylian Hero doing his utmost best to stay silent, his beautiful blue eyes looking deeply into Sidon's topaz ones.
Carefully listening in to the sounds of the soldier's footsteps slowly fading into the distance, Sidon pulled his hand off of Link and gave an apologetic smile. "Forgive me, I was under the impression you would be leaving me so soon." A foolish fear but real nonetheless, he had lived his life expecting Link to at least visit his domain, at least, visit him once but it never did happen.
The blonde looked visibly guilty, looking down, frowning.
"I didn't want to leave you, but it would be bad if she finds out I'm here." After Link said these words, Sidon understood why. He knew why. But even so, to have the Hylian leave in such a hurry would no doubt leave a bad taste in his mouth.
"At the very least, the both of us should have a proper farewell?" Sidon held out his hand to which the Hylian simply stared and looked back upon the Zora's face. He too understood what needed to be done, shaking his beloved Zora’s hand, turned on the Purah Pad, selected his home and then...
.
.
.
No.
Link turned it off, puts the device down on Sidon's dresser. Before the king could say anything, Link boldly grabbed upon the larger Zora's hand, placing it gently onto his cheek, looking up to see the bewildered look upon Sidon's face.
"... kiss me, properly this time."