Work Text:
Things were not the same anymore between Edwin and Charles.
Ever since Port Townsend- ever since Edwin confessed to his best friend of over 30 years he was in love with him on the steps of hell, things haven’t felt the same again between them.
Initial awkwardness since they returned was not surprising. Niko’s death shocked them all, despite her brief time at the agency her death has created a hole in their hearts that would perhaps forever be, but there was no point in sitting in the office wallowing over what happened forever, that would only lead to more depression, so after a while they were back to taking cases.
Charles especially was a major source of help after Niko’s death and a large reason why they were able to return, holding the agency together doing his best to cheer up the mood while he also grieved. He had been a true rock for Edwin that was quite the wreck after everything, and he helped him to go through particularly bad days grieving.
Although they were all still grieving, they started taking cases again. Easy ones, for starters. Still at the adjusting period of learning to work with the new psychic of the team.
Edwin wanted nothing more than to go back to the way things were between them after the horrors of Port Townsend, now with the addition of their new psychic to the dynamic of course, before any romantic mess came along.
In the great scheme of things all that mattered was their friendship, and while he did not regret his confession he was not going to let it hold him back. His romantic feelings would take some time to fully get rid of, he didn’t see them going away anytime soon, but it didn’t matter, their friendship mattered above everything else, before anything romantic added to their dynamic. Edwin was ready to leave the confession behind him and bury it all for the sake of their partnership, he couldn’t be more content with what they had already, having Charles’ friendship was more than enough.
But ever since they returned they never seemed able to go back to sync.
Edwin Payne was never the best at reading people, to say the least. Jokes often flew over his head. Charles has usually handled the human side of things instead of him, a job he navigated well. Edwin never claimed to understand people well, he least of all understood Charles always the ever walking riddle for him. But while he might haven’t shared the same strengths Charles had with people, he had an excellent eye for noticing behavioural patterns- catch human behaviour details and read into people’s habits, a helpful skill as a detective after all.
That is to say, while he might not have been the best at understanding people, he did notice things. He knew to do that very well, reading people in subtle small ways no one else ever fully got like him. And recently, Edwin had been noticing his best friend was acting weird, weirder than usual, and he was pulling away from him.
Charles seemed resolute that nothing changed after Edwin’s confession, but one thing about him is that his actions spoke louder than words. He was nervous more often recently, his smiles felt perhaps too forced, he was awkward in a way Edwin never knew his friend to be like. He was often immersing deeply in thoughts uncharacteristically quiet, frankly scaring Edwin. He was isolating in a way that pained Edwin, unfocused way often than his usual and quiet, worse of all he seemed to be pulling away from Edwin- their game nights slowly extinct, Charles was taking too much space for him in a way that pained Edwin.
There were moments where he seemed like he wanted to get closer- he was leaning closer to Edwin, his fingers would sometimes distractedly glaze over Edwin’s when they stood next to each other like he wanted to hold hands, making Edwin’s heart miss a beat. Only to quickly pull back and wince when he realises how close they’d become and turn his head away, his eyes after that going back to the tormented and haunted expression that seemed to be following him the last few weeks when he thought no one else was looking. Something was wrong.
In the privacy of their office between cases it was worse, Charles was not his usual energetic self anymore and seemed to be taking every excuse to stay away from Edwin, Edwin couldn’t help but feel it hitting personally.
The thing that hurt the most was that it only seemed to be around him- Charles was still his usual whimsical self around anyone else. He acted normally around Crystal and their clients, It was only when they were left alone when his unusual behaviour would start. And it hurt, it hit so badly. It felt like Charles was pulling away from him, and he wasn’t going to let that stand any longer.
His relationship with Charles was simply too dear for Edwin to afford losing. He wasn’t going to throw over 30 years of their partnership away because he foolishly developed romantic feelings. They were partners, before anything else.
So he was going to talk. He was going to bring it up and confront Charles, because he knew Charles Rowland and he knew something was wrong, and he couldn't stand that distance between them anymore. He was going to talk with him, together, in the way they’ve always done things.
Charles Rowland was a bloody mess.
When his best friend in the entire world they’ve known each other for over 30 years confessed he was in love with him suddenly there was this overwhelming over the moon feeling blooming in him, he could feel in hell his blood pulsing with the adrenaline and angels have been singing in his head- Edwin likes him Edwin likes him Edwin likes him.
He pushed it down at the time, because they had a mission to complete, didn’t they? They had to get out. And then Niko died, and it all got so bloody awkward and never the right time to stop and process it.
When he did stop to think about this realization, Charles discovered he liked the thought of Edwin liking him- he really, really, liked it. It caused an unexplainable blooming feeling to rise in him every time he remembered that, his cheeks washed by flush smiling from ear to ear.
Edwin’s confession pretty much landed on him like a bomb, rattling his world upside down all of a sudden.
He was suddenly hyper-aware of their bodies whenever they stood close, the blush that crept into his cheeks when Edwin smiled brightly at him distracting him or praised him for a job well done, making Charles turn his head suddenly, practically jumping back wincing.
All these warm feelings that bloomed at his chests were nothing new- they had always been there. It was simply that now Charles realized how much he craved them more, he understood it better now, starting to want them more often.
And it scared him. Causing him to flinch back, distance himself away, and start avoiding Edwin if he could.
Because Charles Rowland never had any positive experience before with the type of love Edwin had meant when he said he was in love with him.
Love for him has always been fused with pain, he is his father’s son and he never knew anything else. He will never be anything else.
Charles can’t love Edwin. It doesn’t matter if he does, he just can never allow himself to love Edwin.
Because Edwin was the best thing to ever happen to him. And Charles would sooner or later hurt him, this is what he always does- he is too much of a disaster, easily controlled by anger and his fierce emotions, just like his father forever doomed to repeat the same pattern.
So it doesn’t matter the angels are singing, it doesn’t matter the warmth spreading in his chest when he is around Edwin- Charles Rowland has to stay away because he’s clearly never up to any good.
Charles was sitting on the desk, his legs on the chair, staring vacantly out of a window for the past few hours.
Edwin, who was reading a book on the sofa, eventually had enough of this new awkward distance between them and snapped, deciding he was going to do something about it, shake Charles out of it in any way he could.
Bring back his Charles, not this sad and dim shadow Edwin started to not recognise anymore.
He picked up their foils. Fencing was always a thing they have done together, just like their board games or any other activity they did for fun together. It was a dynamic game, a way for them to replace quips and banter. They were just teens in their hearts after all, and they loved having these friendly competitions between one another. All of their duels were in a light hearted manner.
They constantly talked during their matches- helping each other or just chattering (mostly Charles). They haven’t maintained any sort of serious professional spirit whatsoever at all, having a lot of conversations during their fights; sometimes they even fenced for discussing cases- work up their brains and bring up ideas, settling debates on what they should do.
Edwin nearly always won, of course. He was the one with actual professional training out of the two due to the classes at his time in St. Hilarion. Although Charles did have an advantage for being left handed, making it quite the challenge for Edwin to beat him. Yet Edwin almost always won their duels, besides a few days where his head wasn’t focused. Edwin suspected a long time ago Charles just liked a lot when Edwin taught him fencing showing his skills, creating excuses to make him correct his atrocious posture, and hasn’t bothered to get better more than Edwin continuing the need for him to have their mutual duels.
He seemed to simply enjoy too much their friendly matches together. And who was Edwin to ever dare refuse?
It was them, their normal, part of what they had shared. A magic of competing against each other, adrenaline kicking in, having fun and trading quips together.
Edwin desperately wanted to bring it back.
He tossed Charles his foil- a golden one with a left handed handle. Edwin’s foil was silver, matching Charles’ set. They were one of the earliest items they had collected as payment from a case and they have been using them ever since. The foils were made out of a lightweight ghost friendly material, so all the stabbing simply went through them. One of the advantages of being a ghost. “Pick it up, we are going to fence.” He demanded of Charles.
“What?” Charles looked up, shaking off from his thoughts and turned to his best friend, blinking surprised.
They usually just did it like that, with one of them coming to the other and requesting fencing, but Charles couldn't explain to Edwin why it felt wrong now- Charles had distanced himself too far now. His head was still trying to catch up with what Edwin was asking of him, working in a haze.
“I said, pick it up. We are going to fence, and we are going to talk. Frankly, I have had enough of your distant behaviour recently and I cannot let it pass any second longer. After Port Townsend you have never made the return quite to your senses yet. So we are going to fence, and we are going to talk, in the way we do things. Because clearly something has gone wrong with you recently that you refuse to let me in about.”
“Mate, there is nothing wro-” Charles started forcing an awkward laugh in defence, but Edwin cut him.
“I have simply confessed to being in love, Charles, I have not been turned into a fool in all that regards you. You cannot fool me, Charles Rowland, I have known you for over 30 years, and I can tell when things are wrong. Yet you don’t come to me although you are clearly bothered by me. Sometimes, I have to wonder if you still consider us best friends after all-” his voice breaks, trailing off.
“What? Mate, of course you are-” Charles rushed to protest against Edwin’s words.
“Then talk with me, Charles. Fence with me, like we used to. Because I miss having my best friend around, and I don’t know what to think of you recently. Talk to me, please.” Edwin asked, bring Charles’ foil on the desk closer to him.
Charles took a few moments of thinking in silence before he responded again. They could fence, he supposes, he did miss them too, but- “Look, Edwin, mate, you are still pretty banged up from Esther’s house, I don’t want to fight you like that.” Not a lie, they both still had some traces of their iron burns. Esther’s house was still relatively fresh- they tried to bury it but the events of Port Townsend only took place twelve days ago.
Unfortunately, iron burns take an annoying amount of time to heal. Although not as bad now, slight traces of their burns still left.
And Edwin had it worse than Charles. He might have been used to pain and tried his best to hide it but Charles saw the way he squirmed uncomfortably when he thought no one else looked.
They have been taking cases slower because of it, working on easy ones to start. Both of them acting more out of concern for the other than actually to themselves.
“Oh, you assume you would be able to get close to me?” Edwin teased, arching his eyebrow arrogantly. Charles bit his lips, cheeks flushing slightly. Bollocks. Okay, his self confidence was hot-
Seeing him announcing it cockily and sure of himself ignited a fond and playful spark in him. He liked his overconfidence.
“I assure you, even in my lesser state I can still, as I believe they say today- ‘kick your ass’. You, on the other hand, have been shutting off from me for weeks, and I simply will not sit here and allow our friendship to continue suffering any longer. So please, fence with me again. Challenge me, if you will.”
“Edwin-” Charles groaned in a sigh, pretending to be rolling his eyes in decline, then he quickly picks up his foil going out to a surprise attack, a spark of mischief lightened up in him.
Adrenaline was flooding his ghost veins, in a good way-
He loved this. This was them. It just felt right.
Charles, at an attempt of a ridiculous flashy move, jumped on the desk instead of walking past that, trying to use his height to his advantage towering over Edwin.
Edwin recoiled back, standing aside and smiling smugly(oh, Charles loves his smile-), inviting Charles to move off the desk and come after him, not fencing in front of him like that.
Charles, in an (unfortunately characteristic) absurd move, moved back over the desk kicking things all over to take momentum, then surged forward trying to pull a impressive manoeuvre like from movies and make a grand landing on his feet. But when his legs hit the ground he immediately lost balance and tripped, landing on his arse.
Edwin was unimpressed by his manoeuvre. He was always a merciless fencing partner never taking it easy on him (‘how else would he learn?’), and he now took the opportunity to ‘stab’ Charles with his foil, his blade passing through Charles’ non-corporeal body earning himself a point.
Bugger, 0:1 already.
Not that he cared a lot, it was all in a light hearted competitive spirit, but it still rubbed him a bit off how quickly he already started losing, he was intent on getting back at him to even things.
He took Edwin’s offered hand to get up again in a smile. For one moment their bodies clashed together standing closely to one another, making both of their faces turn red and Charles hurried to back off far away from Edwin. Edwin scoffed.
“And this is why you do not rely on movies and making flashy moves in fencing. Really, Charles, I have expected better of you by now.” he criticises, glancing over Charles to check he was okay at the same time.
“Not all of us could have had a fencing class, mate.” Charles laughed.
“Yet, despite our 30 years of fencing together you are still trying fencing grandiosely with extravagant theatrical moves, although I have repeatedly told you this is how you lose your balance and are easily knocked out and fail. You are quite dramatic, really.”
He did that on purpose, they both knew that. Charles simply loves making these big flashy moves, making Edwin snicker fondly at him whenever he tries to pull grandiose pointless gestures, most often failing than succeeding. Yet it did not stop him from doing it again. It was a conversation they had a lot during the years, always in a good natured spirit.
“Righhht, I am the dramatic one.” Charles laughed, smiling at him with fondness warming his heart. He missed this, missed them. He missed doing things with Edwin, having fun together, without a care in the world. Not having to think about anything else.
They stood back in positions, not finishing their conversation yet but starting another round-
“En garde!” the fencing order to stand in positions (in defiance of modern media’s attempts to present it as the call for action in fencing, something Edwin was always sore on and often complained to Charles on the misuse- “‘En garde’ is plainly the french phrase for standing in position, or retreating to position to attack again at the end of a round. It directly translates to being ‘on guard’. Modern media’s popular use of it today as a fencing battle cry is ludicrous and senseless on all fronts, really Charles, I can never understand the reason for this fallacious idea.” was a conversation they had a lot during watching movies that involved fencing, making Charles chuckle every time).
Charles tightened his grip on his blade at the call securing his position, bending his knees lower and straightening his back slightly more to steady his posture, hearing Edwin’s voice in his head guiding him “stop slouching, Charles, and bent your knees lower. True fencing agility and swiftness on feet can be achieved only when you stop being floppy.”
“Prete?” the next word at the chain of commands starting a traditional fencing duel, the question to the participants if they are ready.
“Qui,” Charles answered confidently, giving a nod.
“Allez,” Edwin announced, and the round began. Charles, playful as ever, tried to start first surging forward for the element of surprise only for Edwin to easily deflect his blade out of the way.
“I admit, I do have a tendency to be overrun by my emotions at times.” Edwin hesitates in his words, continuing their conversation again. Suddenly he looked so cute Charles felt a strange burst of affection, he wanted to ruffle his hair. Where was this coming from?
"But out of the two of us, in regards to fencing you are the one that proud yourself with a grandiose pointless gestures you are a fond of. You are extraordinary smart, when you wish to be Charles. Your issue is you most often fool around, tending to prefer being flashy and theatrical to impress, rather than being calculated. You have quite the brilliant mind when you use it.” Edwin made a point with his words, their blades clashing together while they fenced.
Edwin called him smart. Charles took a moment to relish on the compliment, smiling chiefly.
“It’s why you like me though, don’t you, love?” Charles teased him with the affectionate nickname grinning wickedly, their foils clashing again. He loved his ability to short circuit Edwin’s brain, cheeks flushing. It caused the warm and affectionate feeling in Charles for his friend to get stronger.
Charles was almost able to score a point when temporarily Edwin almost stumbled after the comment, but he managed to recoil back and fend of his attack at the last moment, cheeks burning.
“Do not dare to use my affection for you as a weapon to distract me!” he called in anger, his face filled with fiery blush. Oh, he was definitely getting distracted, Charles smirked.
“‘Not my fault you are attracted to my natural charm.” Charles laughed, perhaps a bit too chuffed about getting this effect out of his friend. Edwin’s hair was wild and messy, although they were ghost at the heat of the fight he seemed so alive, his pupils blown out from adrenaline his eyes filled with motivation. Although he was annoyed, a thin smile creeped to his lips. He was slightly amused by Charles too.
Charles let himself get distracted ironically with trying to distract Edwin, and Edwin got in a point again.
“Focus, Charles. This is why I am always winning. You are distracting yourself with flashy gestures instead of hard work and dedicating yourself to the cause.”
“At least I’m not the one that confessed about his undying love on the steps of hell.” Charles blurted out before he could think about it, but then froze when he realised what he had just done. He was taking things too far with the mocking at this point.
Edwin stiffened.
Charles swallowed nervously. He cursed himself for talking without thinking- they haven‘t dared to address the love confession directly before their conversation today ever since Port Townsend itself.
“Edwin, mate, I’m so sorr-” He tried to start, taking a step back.
“Ah, well, some things needed to be said. I do not have any regrets, neither am I apologising. Right now, I am more focused on what you have to say. Where is your mind at, Charles Rowland?” Edwin going out with a rare attack, unlike his usual defensive style, Charles ducked.
It’s you. I have been thinking about you. Ever since you confessed your love for me and I remember you love me I feel this burst of affection gushing at my chest, and I can’t stop looking at you.
And I’m scared, because I have never been this lost. And I can’t stop wanting to get close to you which makes me stay away further.
It has always been you, Edwin. You have been filling my every thought. I’m right here, Edwin. I just can’t talk about it right now because I’m such a mess- I am the reason you got sent to hell again, how fucked up is that?
I can’t get close to you because I would only hurt you again. You deserve someone better. Someone that won’t hurt you. I’m so sorry.
Don’t you see? I just can’t be in love with you. Nothing good ever comes out of me.
I love you so much but this is killing me.
Charles pushed down all these thoughts. He forced a smile on his face. “Can’t you see? I’m right here, mate.” he forced himself to laugh, deflecting with a joke. “Where are you now?” He deflected the topic back to Edwin again.
He opened at Edwin in an attack with his blade even he knew was lame and Edwin deflected his blade away disarming him making a point before Charles managed to return and defend himself.
-Bollocks.
Edwin could see right through him.
“Right now, I am trying to show concern for my friend, who despite insisting nothing has changed, has been trying to avoid me ever since I confessed my love for him.” The pain in his voice was clear and heartbreaking. “Talk with me, Charles, I must know- have I truly broke everything beyond repair? Did… my confession repulsed you? Have I made things awkward?”
“No- mate- I’m-” He trailed off straining to think, taking a step back guarding himself with his foil despite Edwin’s lack of physical attacking at this moment. He couldn’t put it into words how wrong that was.
I love you. I love you with every fibre of my being. I don’t think there will ever be a day where I won’t love you. But I just can’t, don't you see? You got hurt because of me, and because of my stupid decisions.
He glanced at the spots where Edwin was shackled to Esther’s table. It was all his fault. He was the reason this witch hated them so much. He begged Edwin to take the case and then went on to possess the witch. Without him none of it would have happened.
“-because that’s the only explanation I could bring myself to find, Charles. I apologise, I am truly sincerely sorry for making things odd between us, I might have revaluated making my confession if I knew the toll it would cost from our friendship-” Edwin continued ranting, desperate for Charles to hear him.
No no no. All of this was wrong. Charles couldn’t explain how much.
He didn’t want to let go of Edwin, of this new thing they had. Or perhaps it was there all along and they were only now catching up.
But at the same time it deterred him, making him flinch every time. Because this was uncharted territory, and Charles did not trust himself around his friend. He was nothing but a failure of a protector.
“You were taken- to hell- because of me.” Charles broke down eventually, not able to bear it anymore. He couldn’t stand there listening to Edwin hating himself any moment longer because he has done nothing wrong. It was all Charles’ fault. “How fucked up is that, mate?” He smiles bitterly, looking at the floor not able to look Edwin in the eyes.
Everything happened ever since he possessed that bloody witch-
It was all his fault.
Edwin furrowed his brows in confusion. “Don’t be absurd, Charles.”
“You told me not to possess that witch and I bloody did! I knew the consequences, and I did that anyway. And seeing what you went through back there- what I made you go through again sending the Lost and Found after us- I can’t, I just can’t. I can’t love you.” His voice was nothing more than a whisper at the end. “I will only hurt you again, this is all I do. Fuck, Edwin, how could you love me? I am just like my dad, like you said yourself- I’m extreme.” He said bitterly.
I love you, I love you so much it hurts. But I can’t. Because that would mean you will let me keep hurting you. I don’t want to be like my dad, Edwin. I just can’t. I can’t love you Edwin. Because that would kill us both.
“Charles! How could you think this way!” Edwin snapped, making Charles look up at him surprised by his angered response.
“It’s not your fault, Charles! If anything, it’s this preposterous Cat King’s fault for trapping us there in the first place, allowing the lost and found department to locate us. None of us could have seen any of what had happened coming. None of it is your fault. You came back for me, you got us out of there, that’s the only part that matters. It matters to me. You have never hurt me.”
“You see, you are saying that. But I find it quite hard believing in it.” Charles laughed bitterly. “My mum also took my dad’s hits because she was in love. She never thought he did anything wrong. How can I know it’s not exactly what I am doing to you? How is it any different? I hurt you and you don’t even count it. Love is stupid, I can’t allow myself that. I will only hurt.”
“I am not her, Charles. And I will snap you out of it if you will ever do something remotely similar to your father. It simply would not be you.” Charles didn’t know at what point they have completely abandoned their fencing match and moved completely into talking, but they seemed to have forgotten their battle by now. They were still holding their foils, but they were pointed to the ground, a mutual sign in fencers language for talking time, taking a time out.
“Do you truly think so little of me?” Charles blinked in surprise. He hadn’t meant anything- “I am not some rag doll that would be ready to be dragged around. I can stand up for myself and be my own judge. I know who you are, Charles Rowland, and your heart is good. You are nothing like your father. Do not stop yourself from anything, it will only hurt you more if you will still believe in the demons of your past, I am speaking from experience. I will repeat it how many times you will need to hear it, you create yourself, Charles- and you have created the best person I have ever known.”
Charles stood there astounded from Edwin’s words, his eyes swam with tears.
“Do- do you really think so, mate? Do you mean that?” Charles asked. “You promise?” His voice came out slightly choked, he needed his reassurance.
But this was Edwin, and Edwin would never lie to him, if there is one thing Charles always adored about him is his honesty, always straightforward and open about his opinions; unlike Charles he saw sweetening things up for the sake of others as pointless, he wouldn’t spare him the truth.
He loves him. He loves Edwin so much, he knew that from the first day they met and he got to know the charming and witty teenager in the attic, that treated him with more kindness than Charles had known throughout all his life. He loves Edwin with every part of him- and yeah, he is probably in love with him too.
Edwin nodded and Charles smiled widely, almost crying in relief, it’s the first smile he’s had with no weight in a while. Edwin always has his way of making him smile again.
“I really do love you, Edwin. I’m in love with you too.” He sputtered out, dropping his foil and going to hug Edwin, trying to show him his thanks, how much he loved him.
“Charles, you don’t need to say it to me only because-” Edwin started but Charles cut him off.
“No, listen, mate, I really am. I believe I am proper in love with you, actually. Really, I’m a total fool for you, I fell for you a long time ago.” he splutter out, wanting Edwin to feel every word.
“You? Fool? Can’t be right.” Edwin teased him, his eyes laughing with pure joy.
Oh, hell, Charles really is so far gone for this Edwardian.
Charles cupped his face in his palm, a hand on Edwin’s waist and he kissed him. He kissed him and all the sparks ignited, butterflies dancing in his stomach has gone wild. He kissed him and everything else around went dark, and it’s just them. Nothing else was important right now. He pulled him closer, needing the contact.
Edwin is a bit shocked at first, but like in everything else he does he learns fast, very fast, and kisses him back.
“I love you,” Charles sighed when they break away. He was beaming. He couldn’t believe he had this- he was too good to be real. “I love you so much.”
“I know.” Edwin tilted his head, smiling sweetly at him, and connected their lips together again for a soft kiss. “I love you too, Charles Rowland. I love you so much-”
Warmth is blossomed in his chest, gushing in him and driving him insane with butterflies and hurricanes and what-not. Charles could‘nt help himself but pin Edwin to the wall, causing him to finally drop his foil, and he kissed him passionately, holding him by the waist.
Charles liked the look of him- hair is all wild and messed up from fighting anyway, Charles can definitely get used to the wilf hair of when they fence, endearment and keenship clenching his heart and he smiled his charming grin.
One good thing about being a ghost is that you don’t actually require air, so they just stand there and kiss for what seems like forever.
Fireworks were exploding everywhere all at once, everything else in the world became static noise- it was only him and Edwin and how perfectly their bodies fitted together. Charles pulled them closer, suddenly desperate like he never knew before to feel their bodies together, craving to feel as much of him as he can.
He finally disconnected their lips after a while, and stared into the eyes of the ghost beneath him with all the love in the world, his hand cupping his cheek stroking him with his thumb fondly.
They were both breathless, although only a psychological response since they are ghosts they felt it nonetheless, and they were smiling at each other.
“I love you,” Edwin sneaked a gentle kiss to his lips, his eyes twinkling with joy. Charles’ heart almost escape from his chest at the reminder, beating strongly. “I believe we had enough excitement for one day now.” he put his hand over Charles’ chest, where his ghost heart is and smiled shyly.
“Would you mind-” Charles gestured slightly with his head darting his eyes at the sofa, taking a small step away allowing a hint of distance, but he held his waist cupping Edwin’s body. “Can we cuddle? I would really like to cuddle with you.” he stammered, the corners of his mouth twisting into a suddenly sheepish smile, and he took Edwin‘s hand intertwining their fingers together. I really like it when we cuddle, I like it when we are together. I was stupid for ever trying to stay away from you.
“I would like that very much, yes.” Edwin said breathlessly, a smile flitting across his lips.
Charles laughed in a pure joy and delight, “Aces.” He held his hand dragging him to the sofa.
He cuddled them up, both of them laid on their sides face to face, and he buried his face in Edwin’s neck pressing into him, relishing on the feeling of their bodies together next to one another.
He felt Edwin slightly shifting, uncomfortable maybe? As he rubbed his nose in his neck and he immediately backed away. “Are you alright, love?” The affectionate nickname slips him before he thought about it. He can’t explain it exactly, but it just felt right. He loved Edwin, more than anything else in the world. It scared him, but at the same time he knew as long that he has Edwin he is going to be okay.
“Yes,” Edwin said breathlessly. “It is simply a bit a lot for me to take in, that is all.”
Oh bollocks. Stupid, stupid, stupid, he blamed himself flinching in shame, his mind starting to spiral with thoughts- He knew Edwin didn’t like a lot of touch, and they just kissed a lot and he still asked him to cuddle on the sofa with him. This was all probably overwhelming and uncomfortable because it was new, and he still made him do it-
He hurt Edwin again, he is such a tosser- he should have known better, literally just after he said he won’t do that he hurt him again. Always so bloody stupid.
“I’m sorry- I know you don’t like-” his voice came out raspy trying to find words. He stiffened, and lifted carefully the arm he wrapped around Edwin, trying to pull back from him and get up.
But Edwin caught his hand before he could get to do so. He intertwined their fingers with each other pulling Charles back in to his embrace, into his lap, and connected their lips softly.
“Don’t go, please, I quite like that. I promise you darling, this is alright.” He murmured reassuringly, combing his fingers softly through his curls, and pressed their foreheads together. Charles’ brain temporarily stopped to process the affectionate nickname, he softened back up into Edwin’s hold. “It is simply a bit overwhelming me with how good this is, that is all. I do not wish to stop yet, it feels good, you always feel good, I promise you my dear. I would have told you otherwise. I love you.” he connected their lips again and Charles allowed himself to melt into him. Like in everything else Edwin was a quick learner, and he hot the hang of this qyickly. Charles felt the breath he didn’t need leaving his body, Edwin was a great kisser.
“Ah,” Charles said dumbly, a slight smile peeked on his lips. “I love you too.” He cupped his cheek, caressing his thumb over his cheek and pressed a kiss to his lips.
“I love you more.” He smiled sweetly, grinning.
“Ah, now, I'm afraid it’s not quite possible, you see-” he said playfully, leaning close to Edwin to whisper in his ear sweetly. “I am pretty sure I love you the most in the entire universe.”
“I guess we would have to check that then, put our skills to the test and examine that statement. What a contest it would be.” Edwin’s eyes sparkled flirtingly, he was smiling coyly.
Fuck, Charles was so far gone for this Edwardian.
He crashed their lips together again and Edwin kissed him back, running a hand in his curls and making Charles absolutely melt.
He could do this. Them. Forever. Laying together, laughing and teasing and kissing. This was his heaven. Edwin felt safe. The only place he ever felt safe in. His heart almost explodes with love.
At the end he buried his face curling inside Edwin hugging him tightly, Edwin playing with his curls.
Charles let himself smile, because he knew that everything would be okay.
Because he has Edwin.
And he is not his father. Edwin is the smartest person he knows and if he says so about Charles then there must be something he doesn’t see.
And Edwin will be there to pull him out of it if he ever sees Charles being dangerously stupid.
And he loves him.
He loves Edwin so, so much he wants to explode.
And he just wants to stay tucked in his comforting safety forever, squeezing him tight and cherishing him.
Good thing they had forever then, right?