Work Text:
The entire thing was an accident. Vox couldn’t have planned it even if he’d tried.
It happened like this: It was the day of the biannual overlord meeting and Velvette had volunteered to go on behalf of the Vees. She claimed it was because she enjoyed little more than winding Carmilla up, but really Vox thought she just liked the attention. Whatever the case, he didn’t care so long as he didn’t have to go and deal with Alastor making snide jokes at him then turning to chat to Rosie and pretending like he didn’t exist the moment Vox bit back. However, Velvette was in the middle of brewing her latest batch of love potions and had been adamant she be notified as soon as the first vat was ready. Vox had received the notification from the factory shortly after Velvette had left and sent her a swift text.
Vox: Your potions are ready for when you come back.
Velvette: oh fuck! Already?? Okok
Velvette: Voxy darling can u do me a favour and bring a sample down?
Vox: What? Right now??
Velvette: YES RIGHT NOW
Vox: Why?? Cant this wait until after youre finished with the meeting?
Velvette: NO IT CANT
Velvette: look can u just pls do this? For ME?
She sent a string of hearts and pleading face emojis after this and Vox caved. He reasoned that it would be wise for him to make an appearance at the overlord meeting, if only briefly, just to check how Velvette was steering the ship, but really, he knew it was easier for everyone to give into Velvette’s demands than fight them. He’d be facing pouty silence for days if he didn’t bend to her will. So, he requested a vial of the potion be sent up to his room then began the short journey over to Carmilla’s.
He texted Velvette once he was outside the door to the conference room. Instead of responding, she burst out the doors and quickly slammed them shut behind her, giving Vox only the briefest glance of Alastor, head cocked to one side and eyes narrowed in his direction. Their gazes briefly met before the door swung shut, blocking their view of each other. Velvette was red in the face, fly-away hairs escaping her sculpted ponytail, and her teeth were clenched in a snarl.
“That bitch,” Velvette hissed, stomping in a tiny circle in front of Vox. “She thinks she can talk down to me like that? Call my work frivolous?”
Vox followed her pacing with his eyes, the vial held in his hand. He opened his mouth to speak but Velvette cut him off, swiping the vial.
“We’ll see whose work is frivolous,” she declared, flicking the cork off with her thumb.
Velvette seized a passing imp carrying a tray of drinks by the back of the collar and brought her up short. The imp server squeaked as Velvette commandeered the tray and emptied the pink potion into one of the glass cups. A cloud of magenta smoke wafted up into the shape of a heart before fizzling away, the potion dissolving into the water without a trace, as it had been designed to do. Velvette’s grin was feral as she cackled to herself and shoved the tray back into the shaking hands of the imp.
“Give that one,” she instructed, tapping the glass she’d tampered with, “to the frigid bitch.”
The imp held up a nervous finger and opened her mouth. “Um, I don’t think-“
Velvette rounded on the girl with a snarl, “Well, it’s a good thing you’re not paid to think, isn’t it? Now, I don’t care who your master is, you go in there and give them those drinks or you might not walk out of here with a head.” Her hand glowed red as she curled her fingers, the imp’s neck tie sinching around her throat and making her gasp. She scrabbled at her neck for a few moments, her red face beginning to darken to purple, before Velvette let up, relaxing her grip. “Do we understand each other?”
The imp nodded fervently, raking in ragged breaths. She scurried past Velvette and Vox, back into the conference room, bumping her shoulder against the doorframe in her haste to get away and nearly spilling the entire tray. Velvette watched her go with a dark chuckle while Vox raised an eyebrow.
“You’re going to drug Carmilla with one of your love potions?” Vox asked dryly.
“Yeah!” Velvette replied, her eyes dancing with glee. “I’ll film the whole thing. It’ll be funny as fuck.”
“Uh huh. And making Carmilla fawn all over you is just a little side bonus, right?”
Velvette’s eye twitched and she cut a glare at Vox, who just smirked back at her. She jabbed a finger into his chest but he didn’t back up, just let her get right up in his face as she snapped at him.
“You better shut your mouth before I sew it shut.” She stepped back and folded her arms over her chest. “And you better not try to stop me.”
“I won’t,” Vox promised, gliding past her to crack the door open and glance in at the board room. “I’m actually excited to watch the shit show. Go right ahead.”
He dipped low in a bow as he opened the door wider and waved for Velvette to go in. She clicked her tongue but sauntered past him, back to her seat regardless. Vox grinned and slipped in after her, crossing his arms as he leaned against the wall, watching the imp server wobble over to the table and pass out the drinks. Alastor was the first to notice him, his ears flicking in Vox’s direction at the sound of his footfalls, his eyes following a second later. Vox kept a neutral face even as Alastor raised an eyebrow, but it was Carmilla who spoke first.
“Vox,” she said in that cool tone of her's, never giving anything away. “Have you come to join us? You’re rather late.”
“No, no,” he replied, holding up a hand. “I’m just here to pick up Velvette. Please, do continue.”
Carmilla eyed him warily but reached for her glass anyway. She sipped the water as Alastor chuckled to himself.
“My, my. An act of chivalry? How-“ He unhinged his jaw and swallowed the entire contents of his glass in one long gulp. He let out a long, satisfied sigh and flashed a grin at Vox. “-Refreshing.”
Vox rolled his eyes while Rosie gave Alastor a disapproving frown.
“Alastor, you shouldn’t drink so fast. You’ll give yourself the hiccups!” she impressed, sipping her own water daintily.
Meanwhile, at the other end of the table, Velvette was leaning forward on her elbows, grinning wolfishly up at Carmilla, who stared back at her, nonplussed.
“How’s that water working for you, grandma?” she asked. “Doin’ anything for you? Or are you still thirsty?”
“Perhaps,” Alastor went on, oblivious to the bomb that was currently ticking away just feet to his right, “you just don’t trust that one-“ He flicked a finger at Velvette. “-To tie her own shoes, much less make the journey home.”
“Oh, whatever,” Vox barked, trying to ignore Alastor and focus on Velvette, who was bouncing her eyebrows suggestively at Carmilla.
Carmilla and Zestial shared a brief look but she answered Velvette with a slight furrow creasing her brow. “The water is fine. But thank you for your concern.”
She turned back to the projection plastered against the wall, and started spouting some bullshit about weapons distribution throughout open territory. Vox watched Velvette visibly deflate, her ponytail drooping as she slumped back in her seat. She huffed and dug her phone out of her pocket, her thumbs tapping away on the screen at lightning speed. A moment later Vox’s phone dinged.
As he fished his phone out of his pants’ pocket he vaguely registered Rosie’s voice from across the table.
“Alastor? Are you feelin’ okay? You’re lookin’ a little…red. And I mean more so than usual.”
Velvette: FUCK! Must be a faulty batch or some shit. someones gonna pay when I get back there
Vox was in the process of typing out his reply—something along the lines of shit sucks—when he heard the sound of chair legs scraping against the floor and Rosie gasping.
“Alastor-!”
Vox had the presence of mind to glance up just in time to see a red shape hurtling towards him in a flying leap over the table. He let out a squawk of alarm that was cut off at the knees as Alastor struck him like a speeding comet. The two of them went soaring back, smacking through the door and landing on the floor in the hall in a twisted tangle of limbs. The wind was knocked out of Vox as his back hit the tiled floor and they slid a few feet before coming to a stop. He struggled to rake in air but he’d smacked his head and the world was a mess of staticky pixels.
He blinked rapidly before his vision swam back into focus and he was greeted with Alastor’s elongated grin leering down at him from above. Vox yelped at the demented look in Alastor’s eyes, the reds of his sclera flickering with black, like a broken thread of film. He tried to scrabble backwards along the floor but Alastor curled his claws into the tiles, cracking through them with a splintering snap! Vox went still, his entire body quivering as Alastor cocked his head slowly to the side, leaning close until his nose was pressed against Vox’s screen.
“Vooox,” he said in a drawling hiss. “I don’t know why but…I want to devour you…”
“Please don’t,” Vox squeaked. “I’m supposed to go live at six.”
Alastor chuckled, the sound deep and rumbling, like a couple of boulders grinding together. His steaming breath puffed out between his teeth, leaving a spot of condensation on Vox’s screen.
“You’re so…” Alastor went on, dragging a clawed finger down the edge of Vox’s monitor, dipping low to poke at his bowtie. “…Enticing. So warm. Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“Um.” Vox gulped, too distracted by Alastor’s claw at his throat to form a coherent reply. “I don’t-“
Alastor pressed a finger to his lips, smothering his attempt at speaking.
“Shh,” Alastor said, a dark tongue flicking out to lick at his lips. “Don’t speak. Just let me…”
He trailed off as he loomed over Vox, his eyes zeroed in on him. Vox squeezed his eyes shut as Alastor swooped down, bracing for the rip of sharp teeth tearing into his jugular.
It was a crazed few seconds after the other overlords had watched Alastor spear-tackle Vox through the door. None of them had moved for a moment, shock freezing them in place, before the sound of Vox yelping had thawed Velvette’s legs enough to get her ass out of her chair. She dashed around the border of the table, shoving the imp server out of the way with a loud, “Move, bitch!”
The imp fell to the floor with a cry as the other overlords bustled to follow Velvette. She kicked open the door, fully prepared to see the hall painted in Vox’s neon blue blood, shredded wires hanging from the rafters. Instead, she was struck dumb by the sight that greeted her. The other overlords clustered behind her to see while she gawked at the sickening display on the ground.
Alastor was curled up on Vox’s lap, his arms looped around his neck and nuzzling against his screen with a dreamy smile. Vox sat there, blinking dazedly and rubbing cautious circles into Alastor’s back. Alastor hummed happily at the touch, squeezing Vox tighter. Vox’s eyes met Velvette’s over the top of Alastor’s head and she finally scraped her tongue off the floor of her mouth.
“What,” she said emphatically, “the fuck?”
Vox flicked a glance at Alastor, who practically purred when Vox wrapped an arm around his waist, then looked back at Velvette, a grin beginning to tug at the corners of his mouth.
“I think,” he said, his left eye warping, “it works.”
“We’re seriously taking him home with us?” Velvette demanded. “Isn’t that a really fucking bad idea?”
Vox tore himself away from where he and Alastor were caught up in a cocoon of giggles and making eyes at each other to glance at Velvette. They were bundled up in the limo, en route back to Vee tower, Alastor once again sat in Vox’s lap, the two of them wrapped around each other while Velvette was seated across from them, arms crossed, tapping her foot, and looking generally unimpressed. It had been a mission and a half to get Alastor there, given that he refused to be pried from Vox’s side, even for a moment. Even Rosie hadn’t been able to pull him away, eventually having to relent and allow Vox and Velvette to cart him off with them.
Vox shrugged and couldn’t help the stupid grin that split his face as Alastor gripped his head, gnawing gently at the corner of his monitor.
“Why not? It’s not like he’s any threat to us like this,” Vox reasoned. “Besides, he wants to come with us. Isn’t that right, Alastor?”
He pinched Alastor’s chin between his thumb and forefinger, gently prying him away from chewing on his monitor to waggle his head back and forth. Alastor allowed the treatment, his ears flicking with the motion, and smiling wide the whole time. The fact that he was letting Vox manhandle him like this just made the giddiness in Vox’s chest swell even more, threatening to blow his chest apart from pure glee.
Alastor nodded, his eyes glazed over like he was high or something. Vox had never seen the effects of a love potion this close up before, and it was fascinating to watch.
“That’s right,” Alastor agreed, laying his head on Vox’s chest and batting his eyelashes up at him. “I want to be anywhere you are, darling.”
Vox nearly passed out at the pet name while Velvette made a gagging sound.
“Fucking gross,” she groused, turning to glare out through the window at the passing streets.
Vox just laughed at her pout, petting Alastor’s course hair and luxuriating in the feel of his solid warmth bundled up against his chest.
“You’re just bitter this isn’t you and Carmilla right now,” he teased, and Velvette snarled in his face.
“Ugh! As if I’d want that old windbag pawing at me like that!”
But her flaming cheeks told another story. Any other day, Vox would’ve taken the time to keep poking fun at her, but he had a more pressing matter to feed his attention to currently curled up in his lap. He tucked a finger under Alastor’s chin and tipped his head up. Alastor looked up willingly, closing his eyes as Vox leaned down and captured his lips in a kiss.
Velvette let out a disgusted cry as Vox curled a hand around the back of Alastor’s head and deepened the kiss. His own eyes fell shut as he soaked in the feeling of Alastor’s mouth beneath his own, his hair tickling Vox’s screen. He hummed in pleasure, slipping his arm around Alastor’s waist and squeezing him until their chests were pressed flush together.
Oh, fuck yeah. He could get used to this.
The cameras started rolling at six o’clock, sharp, the opening jingle to Vox Tonite playing as Vox swivelled around in his chair to grin into the lens of camera one.
“Good evening, sinners and Hellspawn,” he greeted, straightening up his stack of papers. The papers didn’t have anything important written on them, just doodles Vox had sketched during the latest board meeting, but he liked them as a prop to make him look more official and important to the audience. “That wraps our newest episode of Me, You, and your Sister’s Shoe. Who saw that twist coming? Well, ladies and gentlemen, we’ve got a real treat for you tonight!” He glanced at a doodle of Carmilla’s glaring face, her frown comically large, and rubbed the bottom edge of his monitor thoughtfully. “Mhmm. Looks like the results are in for that poll on Most votes to get volunteered as a sacrifice to the exorcists. Let’s take a-“
Vox was interrupted by a pop of air as Alastor appeared on his desk. He was laid out on his stomach, hands threaded together beneath his chin and smiling sweetly at Vox.
“There you are,” he sang, kicking his feet. “I was wondering where you’d toddled off to.”
“Ah.” Vox flicked his eyes to the cameras, which were still rolling, and the bemused cameramen behind them. One tried to zoom in on the two of them and green sparks crackled through the lens, blasting the glass apart with a sizzling pop. Several of the crew yelped and jumped back. Vox turned his attention back to Alastor’s wide smile and coughed into his fist. “A surprise guest appearance by the Radio Demon himself! Tell us, what brings you here?”
Vox had left him in the longue with instructions to Velvette to keep an eye on him while he filmed the show. Her response had been to not look up from her phone and flip him off, so he supposed he couldn’t be surprised she’d allowed Alastor to slip away.
“I was getting lonely,” Alastor cooed, flicking one of Vox’s antennae and sending a jolt through him. “I missed my favourite chew toy.” He lurched forward, throwing his arms around Vox’s neck and pulling him down as he flipped over onto his back. He blinked up at Vox, his scarlet eyes sparkling beneath his heavy eyelids. “And I won’t be ignored for some pesky talk show.”
Vox was enraptured and he briefly wondered just who out of the two of them possessed the power of hypnosis. Alastor began tugging him down, forcing him out of his chair as he was pulled lower. Vox threw out a flailing arm, gesturing to the cameras.
“We’ll be right back after this brief intermiss-! Mmm.“
He was cut off as his mouth met Alastor’s, sharp claws reaching around to hold his monitor in place. There was some kind of commotion going on with the crew—possibly another camera had exploded—but Vox was too focused on the warm, pliant shape of Alastor beneath him to give it any heed. He cradled Alastor’s face between his hands, carding his clawed fingers through red hair and humming into the kiss.
He could really get used to this.
Across town, Charlie was having a decidedly less amazing time. She paced back and forth in front of the fireplace, hands folded behind her back and fidgeting nervously. The other hotel occupants were all gathered before her in the parlour, watching her tread a hole in the carpet.
Well, all but one.
“Where could he be?” she fretted, gnawing at a fingernail. “He’s usually back by now. Did he say where he was going when he left?”
“Just that he had somewhere kind of important to be,” Vaggie replied, quirking her fingers around the words and rolling her eye. She settled back against the sofa, her chin propped up on her fist. “Which could be a dumpster as far as we know.”
Angel flicked lazily through TV channels, entirely unconcerned. “C’mon, Charlie. It’s Alastor. What? You think he ran into some kinda trouble?” He snorted as if the idea was ridiculous but Charlie just bit down harder into the quick of her nail.
“I don’t know!” she exclaimed. “We don’t know where he is. Maybe he did get into some kind of trouble.” Her brain swam with possibilities of Alastor’s various demises. Maybe he’d gotten lost in the woods and tripped over a tree root, breaking his leg. Maybe he’d eaten something that disagreed with his stomach and currently had his head in a toilet somewhere. Maybe he’d fallen and impaled himself on a stray angelic spear. Every scenario just swirled the nerves roiling in the pit of her stomach into an even stronger frenzy. “I think we should go out and look for him.”
“Found him,” Angel said, his voice oddly stilted.
Charlie turned to see Angel staring at the TV with wide eyes. She heard Husk mutter under his breath.
“What the fuck...?”
When her eyes landed on the screen, she too, gawked. Her mouth fell open and her eyes bugged out of her skull as the whole room went deadly quiet, the only sound the buzz of the TV.
It was Alastor. Glitching every time he moved on the screen, but definitely Alastor. He was laid out on his stomach across a desk, his arms around the neck of the host that Alastor continuously insisted was no one of importance. He seemed to have changed his tune if the way he was beaming up at the other sinner was any indication.
“We’ll be right back after this brief intermiss-! Mmm.“
He broke off as he was pulled down into a passionate kiss, Alastor’s hands gripping to edge of his flatscreen head. They all watched in stupefied silence as the two of them made out on the desk for a few seconds before the feed cut to a commercial about chewing gum.
“Ever wanted to chew on the taste of your own failure? Well, now you can! Thanks to Voxtek Psycho Chews!”
“What,” Vaggie said into the ensuing quiet, “the fuck?”
Charlie’s head was a whirl. Part of her was stunned to have seen Alastor—her buttoned-up, laugh-in-the-face-of-romance Alastor—swapping spit with someone, but the other part of her was stuck on something far more consequential.
“Wait,” she said, holding up a staying hand. “Alastor’s boyfriend is the TV guy?”
“Okay, this is weird,” Valentino said to the room.
Vox spared him a brief glance before going back to making eyes at Alastor. He’d had to end his broadcast early after sucking face with Alastor at his desk for several minutes. He’d been hoping to take things back to the bedroom and continue in a more horizontal position—or standing, if that was Alastor’s thing. Or sitting. Or whatever, so long as he got to fuck him—but Alastor had merely wagged a finger in Vox’s face when he’d reached for the buttons on his shirt.
“Now, now, my dear,” he’d tutted. “You haven’t even taken me out to dinner yet.”
Then he’d melted into a shadow and slipped away to the other side of the room to pilfer through Vox’s dresser. The fucking tease that he was. This hadn’t stopped Vox from grumpily making dinner reservations for the next night.
Now, they were in the conference room, Velvette and Valentino on one side of the long table, Vox and Alastor on the other. The large glass walls were illuminated from the blue glow pulsing off of Vox’s robo sharks gliding through the water. Kitty, Val’s robot maid, passed around drinks, though no one touched them. Vox usually led these meetings but he was a little preoccupied with Alastor cosying up to him on the edge of his seat, so not much actual work was being done, something Vox was fine with.
“What’s weird?” he asked, not really paying attention. He was busy watching Alastor play with his fingers.
“This!” Val exclaimed, gesticulating with his cigarillo and spilling ash across the table.
“It’s not weird,” Vox said, raising an eyebrow curiously when Alastor brought his hand up to his cheek and nuzzled into his palm. He was really into the nuzzling stuff. So cute.
“It’s fucking,” Velvette bit out, “weird.”
“How long are you planning on keeping him here, anyway?” Val demanded. He and Velvette both had their arms crossed over their chests, looking sullen and put out. “Am I expected to just accept your drugged-up diablo as our new roommate?”
Before Vox could answer, Velvette cut in, slamming her fist down on the tabletop. “You can’t be serious. We’re not keeping him!”
“Why not?” Vox asked, his motor beginning to whir faster as Alastor pulled Vox’s finger into his mouth. The razor-sharp edges of his teeth scraped against his skin as he lapped at his claw. “He can be useful to us. Watch. Alastor.”
Alastor pulled Vox’s finger from his mouth with a pop and grinned up at him. “Yes, dear?”
Vox rested the bottom of his monitor in his free hand and said, “How ‘bout whipping us up some dinner? I don’t know about you guys but I’m feeling sushi.”
Alastor straightened up in his seat, his ears standing to attention, and he summoned his cane to his hand with a flick of his wrist. “But of course, darling. Can’t have you starving on me!”
He swept his cane along the table in a long, curling gesture, leaving platters of salmon aburi and California rolls in his wake. Vox popped a piece in his mouth and hummed in appreciation at the taste. He bounced his eyebrows at Velvette and Val, who both eyed the plates with distaste.
“See?” Vox said around a mouthful of rice and seaweed. “Useful.”
Alastor beamed at him expectantly, fingers threaded around the stick of his cane and Vox gave him an indulgent pat on the head, chuckling at Alastor’s answering cheer track.
“I’m not eating that,” Velvette said resolutely. “We have no idea where it even came from.”
“And you don’t need to know!” Alastor replied brightly. “Ignorance is bliss, my dear.”
Before Vox could contemplate subtly spitting his mouthful out, an alert triggered in his head. He grunted with annoyance and brought the security feed from the front gates up on his screen. With a flick of his hand, he transferred the feed to the TV screwed into the wall, and the four of them turned to watch the live CCTV footage.
At the front gates of Vee tower stood Charlie Morningstar, pressing incessantly on the buzzer.
“Excuse me!” she yelled, her agitation clear even through the grainy feed. “I need to speak with someone!”
“Then you’re in luck,” Vox replied, sending his voice down to the buzzer. He grinned at her startled yelp and went on, “How can I help you, Princess?”
“Oh!” Charlie chirped, then briskly cleared her throat, straightening up and trying to appear respectable. “Um, is this Mr. Vox?”
“The one and only.”
“Okay, great! You’re just the person I wanted to talk to, actually.”
Vox grinned, threading his fingers beneath his monitor. “That’s usually the case.”
“Right! Well…” Charlie fidgeted on the spot, rocking back and forth on her heels and tugging at her cuffs. She sucked in a deep breath before barrelling on. “The thing is, I have reason to believe that Alastor is here with you and I, um. Would like him back. Please.”
“Ah,” Vox sighed with faux regret as he leaned back in his chair, taking immense pleasure in watching the princess’s face colour. “There I can’t help you, I’m afraid. I have it on good authority that Alastor is quite happy where he is.” He crooked a finger at Alastor, bidding him to come closer. “Why don’t you tell her yourself, honey?”
Alastor needed no further invitation. His hands shot out and he grabbed Vox’s head, yanking him down to yell into the side of his monitor.
“CHARLIE!” he shouted, cracking Vox’s audio receptors and making him wince against the feedback. “HELLO! No need to be worried about me, dear! I’m simply following my heart.”
Velvette made another gagging sound while Charlie visibly rallied herself.
“Alastor, please! It’s great that you’re, um, putting yourself out there but you can’t just abandon the hotel! We need you. What about Husk? And Niffty?”
Alastor wiggled his fingers dismissively as though Charlie could see him, and laughed. “Oh, I’m sure they’ll get on fine without me. Husker may even throw himself a party.”
Charlie opened her mouth to beg some more but Vox was growing bored of the whole interaction and cut in before she could make a sound.
“Sorry, your Highness, but you heard the man. He’s staying with us. Now, kindly get the fuck off my property.”
Vox cut the feed and the TV switched off with a boop. He ignored Velvette and Val’s stares and swivelled around in his chair to face Alastor, who was still gripping his monitor in both hands. Vox ginned and walked his fingers up Alastor’s chest, resting the tip of his claw against the knot of his bowtie. Getting to freely touch Alastor like this was such a thrill. Having those red eyes fixed solely on him after years of feigned indifference had Vox feeling like he was the high one. It was intoxicating, having Alastor resting comfortably in the palm of his hand. If he had his way (and he usually did), Alastor wouldn’t be going anywhere anytime soon.
“I think this meeting’s wrapped up,” he said, rising to his feet. Alastor instantly followed, allowing himself to be pulled along by his collar like a dog on a leash. They glided past Val and Velvette, over to the elevator doors, which opened at Vox’s approach. He pulled Alastor through the open doors and grabbed him by his narrow hips, tugging him in until they were chest-to-chest. As the doors slid shut, he leered at Alastor’s open, dreamy face, and grinned. “I’ve been dying to spend some alone time with you.”
“And I, you,” Alastor readily agreed, surrendering himself to Vox’s arms and mouth as the elevator shut them in.
Charlie stood on the sidewalk, fuming as the security camera slipped back into the wall and shut its lens. No matter how many times she pressed on the buzzer, it didn’t reopen. Something told her she wouldn’t get any more luck out of knocking on the front door either. The tower was well and truly locked up like a fortress with Alastor trapped inside.
Growling with frustration, she turned from the gate and stalked away, marching a few blocks down the street. Only then did she pull out her phone and open her contacts. Her thumb hovered over the name as she hesitated. Charlie really didn’t want to make this call but she also knew that desperate times called for desperate measures. Husk had immediately started drinking himself into a stupor the moment he’d heard Alastor was disposed of indefinitely and Niffty had thrown herself onto the carpet, wailing inconsolably once informed Alastor would not be there to watch her latest puppet show.
It was a mess and it had only been half a day. No, this needed to get sorted out now.
So, with a deep breath, Charlie pressed down on the contact and held the phone to her ear.
Vox woke up the next morning to find Alastor laying on his chest and staring at him an inch from his face. He let out an undignified yelp as surprise and fear coursed through him in equal parts and sent him scrambling back across the covers. He fell out of bed, collapsing against the floor in a tangle of limbs and bedsheets. He heard Alastor’s tinkling laugh as he staggered to his feet, yanking his shirt back into place. Alastor grinned at him from the bed, laying casually on his side, fully dressed, unlike Vox, who was wearing his official-licensed Voxtek pajamas.
“Alastor!” Vox gasped, hand flying to his chest, where his heart was hammering madly against his ribs. “You scared the crap out of me.”
“Apologies, dearest,” Alastor cooed, not sounding the least bit sorry.
Vox stared at him warily as he tried to pull up his memories from the previous night after they’d left Velvette and Valentino in the conference room. He recalled bringing Alastor back to his room and leaving him to go shower. He’d returned to find Alastor laying on top of the sheets, smiling softly and patting the mattress beside him. Vox had eagerly gotten into the bed, only for the lights to immediately flicker out. Alastor’s glowing red eyes and beacon of a grin had been the only things visible in the darkness. Alastor had laughed to himself as he swirled towards Vox and then…nothing.
Alastor’s eyelids dipped and his grin sharpened to a sickle as he eyed Vox up like a rattlesnake considering a lone dune rat. Vox shifted uncomfortably on his feet, Alastor’s gaze making him sweat.
“Um,” he began before remembering he was supposed to be projecting confidence and he cleared his throat. “So…breakfast?”
“Yes…” Alastor drawled, slowly pulling himself up onto his hands and knees. He ran his tongue over his lips and hissed, “I am feeling rather peckish, now that you mention it.”
Vox was on the verge of bolting—either running away or literally turning into a bolt of electricity—when a flashing golden light exploded in the middle of his bedroom. He threw up a hand and squinted between his fingers as the light shaped itself into a circle, and a figure stepped through. Vox blinked in astonishment, wondering if he was still asleep after all and this was all a fevered nightmare. There was little else to explain the presence of Lucifer Morningstar in his room.
The king of Hell straightened up his coat as his eyes flickered around the room before coming to rest on Vox’s dumb-struck face. He waved once and said by way of greeting, “Hey.”
“Uhh,” Vox replied eloquently.
Lucifer merely flicked a piece of glimmering stardust from his shoulder and sighed like a man who’d just had a long day at the office, only to be asked to go out and fetch some milk.
“Look,” he began, hands pressed together over his cane, “sorry to pop in unannounced but my daughter asked me to come here and retrieve her assistant…bodyguard…guy.” He scrunched his face up as he stumbled over the words, the apple topper on his cane bobbing side-to-side as he juggled with Alastor’s title. He caught Vox’s gawking face and hurried on, “Trust me, it’s not my idea. I’ve actually been thinking he ought to be rehomed but, y’know, kids, right? Can’t say no to ‘em. So, come on.” He held his hand out and curled his fingers in a gimme gesture. “Hand it over.”
“Thank you, your Highness,” Alastor snapped, spitting out the title like it was the most loathsome thing in the world. When Vox glanced at him, he was no longer crawling across the sheets but perched primly on the edge of the bed and aiming a chilly glare at Lucifer. “I have it quite under control.”
“No, you don’t,” Lucifer sighed with a roll of his eyes. “You think you’re head over heels because this-“ he flicked the butt of his cane up and down to indicate Vox, “-frankly, weird creep slipped a love potion into your drink.” He stepped to the side and nodded at the portal, still open and shimmering flecks of gold. “Now, come on. Get.”
Lucifer gestured for Alastor to get, like he was shooing an annoyingly persistent dog that kept jumping at his plate for scraps. Alastor’s eyes narrowed to slits in response while Vox held his breath, waiting for the inevitable bomb of Lucifer’s words to land and explode. He didn’t bother asking how Lucifer could’ve known that Alastor’s state was the result of a love potion. He was the most powerful being in Hell, surely that came with some kind of omnipotent knowledge. It was just unfortunate that knowledge was going to end in Vox having his intestines ripped out through his mouth.
Instead of descending into a fit of ungodly rage though, Alastor surprised him by letting out a single, irritated huff.
“You think I don’t know that?” he snapped.
Vox’s screen glitched out for a second, the bomb landing firmly on his half of the court. When his brain and face fizzled back into order, it was to find Alastor glancing up from examining his nails to stare at him. Gone was that moony-eyed look he’d aimed at Vox from his lap, that gooey smile that planted Vox at the very centre of Alastor’s universe. It was replaced with a smile so cold it could rival the wind blowing off of the coldest glaciers in the deepest circle of Hell.
Vox managed to choke out a, “You what?”
Alastor heaved out a sigh and dragged himself to his feet, rapping his cane against the floor as he did. “Of course I knew. You really thought one little potion would keep me under your thrall forever?” He tipped his head back and barked out a sharp laugh before slamming his jaws shut once more with an audible clack of teeth. “If so, then you’re an even bigger fool than I thought.”
Alastor was slowly stalking towards him as he spoke, forcing Vox to stumble back and keep precious space between them.
“When did it wear off?” he fumbled to ask.
Alastor actually paused to consider this, tapping his chin and humming to himself. After a moment, he smirked at Vox, eyes hooded and amused. “You’d like to know, I’m sure.”
He began to take another step in Vox’s direction, but Lucifer stuck his cane out between them, forcing Alastor to stay in place.
“Yeah, yeah,” Lucifer drawled, swiping his cane back up and ignoring the vicious glare Alastor aimed his way. “You’re sooo clever. Can we cut the chase and go, already? I left a cake in the oven.”
“It’s cut to the chase,” Alastor sneered, then added, under his breath, “idiot.”
Lucifer just flapped a dismissive hand. “Whatever it is, just cut it already. I’m hungry.”
Alastor glowered but quickly smoothed his expression out into his usual, placid smile. “Fine,” he quipped, once again turning his attention on Vox and pinning him in place. The corners of his smile curled in, taking on a cruel edge. “It was rather amusing how easily you bought into that simpering version of me. To know that that is the kind of attention you’ve always craved is rather…pathetic!” He beamed as he reached into his coat and pulled out what looked like a large red microchip.
Vox blinked at it in confusion. “What the hell is that?”
“The fruit of my labours,” Alastor explained grandly. “The only reason I tolerated your incessant pawing and slimy tongue.”
“Ew,” Lucifer commented.
“My results after digging through all your computers. I may not be the most tech-savvy wiz this side of the pentagram but I can reach some tough spots.”
His shadow stretched along the wall, grinning and chittering, its sharp fangs matching its owner as Alastor grinned gleefully at him. He raised the chip higher and the implications of his words finally started to dawn on Vox, who reached out desperately.
“No-!” he began to shout, but Alastor’s fist closed around the chip, crushing it like an eggshell.
Warnings and disaster level pop-ups blared in Vox’s head, stacking on top of each other faster than he could count. He clutched his monitor as his vision swam, the tower itself seeming to shake around him as system after system dropped offline. Alastor let the jagged remains of the chip fall to the floor in a shower of tinkling dust as he finally stepped over to Lucifer.
“Farewell, Vox,” he chirped, waving his cane in a wide arch. “I hope you enjoy getting what’s coming to you. Ta ta for now!”
“Finally,” Lucifer grumbled, stepping through the portal.
Alastor followed and the portal instantly shrunk in on itself until it vanished with a wink. The last thing Vox saw before the portal closed and the lights went out was Alastor’s wide grin aimed his way, his eyes flicking to radio dials for the briefest of moments. Then he was gone and the power shut off, leaving Vox standing in his pajamas in total darkness.
All was quiet before he heard Velvette screech from down the hall.
“VOX!”
Vox sighed and dragged a hand down his screen. He always knew love potions were a bad idea. Almost as bad an idea as Alastor himself.
“Fuck,” he muttered to himself, stepping into his slippers.
Today was going to be a long day.