Work Text:
Nancy posed the question to herself in the mirror about a million different ways the night before. How do you ask one of your best friends out on a date? They’d been slowly getting closer and closer over the past month and Carlos keeps pestering her to take the leap, but what if she’s reading her wrong and she wasn’t interested in her at all? Or she just wants to be friends?
She took a deep breath and continued walking down the street Marjan lived on, taking in the crisp autumn air hitting her face and the sound of the leaves crunching under her boots. Fall, it was her favorite time of year. She adored the cool weather, the chunky sweaters, Halloween, warm colors, the nostalgia of carving pumpkins with her sister as a child, the smell of cinnamon, crisp clean air without the dampness of Texas humidity; she adored everything about the darker, comforting season. It was time as any to take this leap. Pulling the door against the harsh wind, she entered the building to Marjan’s apartment and made her way up to her floor. As she made it to her door, she stopped for a moment. I shouldn’t, she murmured to herself.
She started to pace back and forth in the dark, dim hallway, a loud click of her heeled boots with each step strangely grounding her. Nancy. You can do this, it’s Marjan. She’s been there for everything. When you were grieving Tim. When you were getting sued by a patient. She helped you realize Mateo wasn’t the right person for you. But is Marjan the right person for you?
“Fuck it,” she whispered to herself, before walking up to Marjan’s door again and knocking loudly, to make sure she heard her.
Moments later, the door swung open.
“Nancy? What are you doing here?” Marjan stood in the doorway, dressed in black sweatpants and a lavender hoodie, she looked stunning in every way imaginable no matter what she wore, taking Nancy’s breath away when she looked at her.
Nancy snapped out of her trance, still feeling her heart pounding her chest. “Can I come in?”
Marjan waved to let her into the apartment. Marjan’s apartment was small, but gorgeous. It was warm and inviting and filled with light and color, and felt full of life. “Want some tea?”
“Yeah, thank you.” Nancy shed her outer layers of clothing, and sat at the bar in her kitchen.
Marjan prepared them both a cup of tea, steam rising as she poured the water from the kettle, then slid the mug to Nancy across the counter.
Nancy wrapped her cold fingers around the burgundy mug, and drank in the hot tea, taking in notes of cinnamon, cardamom and ginger. Marjan did love a spiced herbal tea, she shouldn’t have expected anything else. She wasn’t an avid tea-lover like Marjan or TK, but it was just what she needed after her walk here in the cold and dark. She didn’t want to wait until tomorrow, she needed to say this now.
“So… I bet you’re wondering why I’m here.” Nancy looked up from her cup.
“Well, It’s not everyday you show up at my door at 10 PM, but I’m always happy to have you here.”
Nancy felt a rush of warmth to her cheeks, sensing herself start to blush. “I… I don’t know how to say this, but I need you to let me get it all out or else I never will.”
Marjan’s smile dropped into concern and she came to sit next to Nancy. “Okay.”
Nancy took a deep breath, “We’ve been through so much together. We have so much fun together, and we’ve cried together. I just think, I really like you. Maybe more than friends. I think you might like me too.” Nancy paused, trying to read Marjan’s face for how she was interpreting this conversation, with no luck. “So this is me asking, can I take you out on a date?”
“Oh,” Marjan let out.
No, no, no. Nancy thought, fuck, fuck fuck. Did I just ruin everything?
Marjan grabbed Nancy’s hand. “I’d love to.”
Nancy felt an immense relief, giving Marjan’s hand a gentle squeeze. “How about next Friday at eight?
“Sounds wonderful. I can’t wait.” Marjan smiled at her.
“Okay, it is late, so I should go home.” Nancy headed to the door.
“Did you walk here?” Marjan asked.
Nancy nodded her head.
“Well then I’m driving you home.”
Nancy wanted to protest. That she didn’t want to put Marjan out, or make her go out this late but Nancy did not live close so she accepted the offer.
They headed down to Marjan’s car, waiting momentarily for it to warm up before they headed to Nancy’s place.
“So, where are you taking me?”
Nancy looked over at her. “I want to surprise you, but dress nice.”
“Hmm. Alright then.”
Shortly after, they pulled up to Nancy’s building.
“Oh, you don’t have to park or anything, you can just let me out here.”
Marjan rolled her eyes, “I know that I don’t have to. I want to. ”
Marjan parked her car across the street from the entrance and Nancy walked side by side with her. As they stood in the elevator, she thought about holding Marjan’s hand. About intertwining her fingers with hers, feeling the warmth shared between their palms. She had grabbed hers earlier, but that was a very different moment. This was just a mundane moment, taking the elevator to her fifth floor apartment. Just when she convinced herself it would be okay, the doors opened on the third floor and a couple she didn’t recognize walked on the elevator car, and there went her already dwindling confidence.
They stepped off the elevator as they arrived at her floor, and approached her door.
“This is me. I guess this is goodbye.” Nancy solemnly stated, they had only spent an hour together tonight but she cherished even a minute in Marjan’s presence.
“‘Til tomorrow. Remember, we have a shift.”
“Oh right, I’ll see you tomorrow, Goodnight. Thanks for the ride home.” Nancy put her keys in the door.
“Goodnight, Nance.” Marjan said before walking down the hall.
Nancy turned the key and entered her apartment. “Well, that went better than expected,” she whispered to herself once she was finally alone.
Next Friday approached much faster than she would have liked. She was full of intense excitement, but also she was incredibly nervous. She always prided herself on being someone who excelled on first dates, she was great at making conversation and getting to know someone. But she already knew Marjan. They’ve been best friends for over four years now. They already knew more about each other than anyone should know about a woman they’re going on a first date with.
Next came the other debacle she was dealing with. Her outfit. She didn’t love dresses. She gritted her teeth and wore one for TK and Carlos’s wedding but she doesn’t voluntarily go for them. She eventually decided on deep purple slacks and a cream-colored collared shirt. She curled her hair and got dressed and headed out the door.
For the short drive to Marjan’s place, she drove in silence, trying to remain calm and not freak out about this evening’s events. Before she knew it, she arrived and headed up to pick up Marjan. She met her at her door, basking in her beauty. Marjan was dressed in an emerald green gown, with a black jacket and flowing matching hijab. Nancy was speechless, which was probably starting to look like staring. Marjan gave her a perplexed look.
“Uh… I’m sorry. It’s just, you look…” Nancy stuttered, “You look stunning.”
Marjan beamed, “Thank you.”
They then headed down to Nancy’s car. After a couple of steps, Nancy noticed Marjan was struggling with her heels on the steps. She was always so elegant, she hadn’t seen this from her before and could tell Marjan didn’t like to be seen so vulnerably.
“Can I give you a hand?”
Marjan nodded and took Nancy’s hand to stabilize her. “I really need to move somewhere with an elevator.”
They both laughed. “Might not be a bad idea,” Nancy said.
They exited the stairwell and Marjan no longer needed to be steadied but Nancy couldn’t bring herself to let go, and Marjan didn’t either, so they stayed, fingers interlocked, walking out of the building to the street. Following the clicking sound of unlocking the car, Nancy opened the passenger side door before Marjan could reach for the handle.
“How chivalrous of you. You know I’m capable of opening a door right?”
“Of course I know you’re very capable, but I want you to feel special tonight.” Nancy shut the door and walked over to the driver’s side door and got in the car.
Marjan gazed over at Nancy as she drove off, “So, now will you tell me where we’re going?”
“You’ll find out soon enough,” Nancy smirked while shifting the car into drive.
Marjan alternated between looking out the window, probably trying to decipher where they were going, to looking back at Nancy.
Roughly fifteen minutes later, they were pulling up along Marjan’s favorite riverfront restaurant, which she rarely goes to since she usually doesn’t have an occasion to get dressed up to go.
“How did you know?” Marjan asked, smiling.
“Well a while back you mentioned you really liked going here, but it was too formal for you to just go, so I figured a first date was as good as any occasion?”
Marjan didn’t respond, just continued smiling as bright as ever with a glint of shimmer in her eye from the sunset, and Nancy could tell she made the right choice.
They walked in and sat down at their table shortly after. Nancy’s worries about keeping conversation flowing were for nothing. They talked and talked about anything and everything. They talked about work, about their friends, about the books they’re currently reading, about the sunset, and Marjan’s new favorite album. Everything just came so naturally.
Walking along the riverfront, Nancy took in the beauty around her. From the gorgeous reflection of the setting sun off of the river to the breathtaking woman on her arm.
Marjan is the first one to break the silence of their walk, “So… Are we telling people? About… us?”
“Well, Carlos already knows, which means TK knows, because that man can’t keep a secret. So I'm sure by tomorrow the entire 126 will know.”
They both burst into laughter. They adored everyone at the firehouse, but no secrets were kept among them.
“I wouldn’t mind people knowing, but maybe we keep it under wraps until we know what we are or what this is?” Marjan asked.
“Yeah, I like that. Keep this for us for a bit.” Nancy smiled.
They stayed there for a moment, before heading back to Nancy’s car and driving back to Marjan’s apartment.
After the drive back to her apartment building, Marjan said, “You can just drop me off on the street.”
“You seriously think I’m just going to drop you off?” Nancy remarked quickly. “You could barely make it down the steps earlier.”
“Whatever,” Marjan responded, with a smirk.
Nancy parked the car, sped around the vehicle to open the door for her and took her hand to head up to her apartment.
“This is really all a bit much, isn’t it?” Marjan rolled her eyes jokingly.
“Nope. I want to show you what you deserve, Marj.”
Marjan huffed, “Fine.”
After the grueling steps in her heels, they finally made it to Marjan’s apartment.
“Well, this is me.” Marjan said awkwardly.
“I had a great time, Marjan. I can’t wait to see you again.”
“You mean, at work?” She laughed.
“You know exactly what I mean.” Nancy glared at her. “Goodnight,” She smiled, before giving Marjan a quick kiss on her forehead and walking off before she could overthink about it too much.
She quickly made her way back to her car, sitting there for multiple moments, thinking about the night. She threw her head back against the headrest. God, this isn’t good . Thinking about how happy she felt tonight, worrying about all the ways she could screw this up on her drive home.
A month had passed since their first date, but it felt like no time had passed at all. Casual dates, eating pizza in Nancy’s apartment watching Marjan’s favorite rom-coms, getting coffee at their favorite local spot, walks in the park, all stark contrasts to their first date. Neither of them cared, they just wanted to spend time together.
They still hadn’t formally told any of their friends or anyone at the 126 about what they were doing. Not that they were hiding anything — it was obvious something was going on between them, and when you work with your friends, they’re bound to catch on eventually.
It was the final Saturday of October. Marjan planned their day, but was keeping it all a surprise. Nancy loved surprising others, seeing their reactions when it was all revealed. When it was herself, she did enjoy the gesture, but she always thought about how to prepare or all the possibilities. Today, all she knew was it would be outside, so dress warm.
She donned her favorite jeans, a black t-shirt, and her favorite maroon hoodie she’s owned for years now. She braided her hair into her go-to updo and just as she finished getting ready, she got a text from Marjan that she was here to pick her up. She grabbed her keys and headed downstairs.
“Hey, Marj,” Nancy greeted her as she got into her car.
Marjan smiled, “Hi Nancy, you look beautiful.”
Nancy usually felt weird when she received compliments, but from Marjan it filled her with a sense of contentment and happiness. Her cheeks glowing with a rosy tint, “Thank you. You do too.” Marjan was dressed in a soft, burnt orange sweater that perfectly complimented her soft facial features and complexion. Marjan could show up in a trash bag and Nancy would still be stunned by her beauty. She was the most beautiful woman that Nancy had ever laid her eyes on and she was still astonished Marjan agreed to a date in the first place, and then continued to see her.
She looked down and noticed two to-go cups in the cupholder. One with a tea bag sticking out and the other not.
“I got you a coffee. It should be cool enough to drink now.”
Nancy had to will her jaw not to drop, it was a simple gesture, but not one she’d experienced before. She’s never really dated someone who put effort in before, she was always the one planning dates and trying to make it work. It felt nice to have someone in front of her, putting in the work to make her feel special.
She took a sip of her drink, sensing the liquid warming her from the inside out on this cold October morning. Her coffee was perfect. A large, hot coffee with the smallest amount of pumpkin sauce you can order, just enough to give the notes of nuttiness, and spices like cinnamon and nutmeg, without being too overwhelming or sweet.
“It’s perfect, thank you.” Nancy was flooded with emotion, it was just coffee, but it felt so much more to her. It was someone caring. Marjan paid enough attention to her to realize the things she enjoyed. Marjan planned a day for her . She still had no idea what she had planned, but she knew it was going to be a great day, she could just tell.
Sometimes she felt embarrassed at how happy another person could make her, but then she remembered, she shouldn’t feel embarrassed. This is how it’s supposed to be right? That person who makes you feel special and cared for and makes the days better? She felt crazy for thinking this way so early on, but Marjan felt like her person. They’d only been dating for a month, but her feelings have been here for years. She thought if she dated other people she’d forget about those feelings. She was always too afraid to lose Marjan as a friend if she freaked her out about her romantic feelings for her, but this feeling, she wouldn’t trade this for anything. She’s just mad at herself for not opening up to her true feelings earlier.
She snapped out of her trance of thinking in her head and looked at the screen to the right of the dashboard, noticing the mysterious location Marjan was taking them to was 45 minutes away, most certainly outside of the city.
“Are you taking me out to an abandoned field to murder me for our surprise date?” Nancy joked.
Marjan looked over at her, “All those horror books and movies are getting to you, babe.” As soon as Marjan said the word, her eyes went wide.
“Oh, uh. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that. It just kind of came out. I shouldn’t have said that, we’re not like, official or anything, so that’s not my place. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to freak you out.”
Nancy chuckled, “Don’t be sorry, I liked it.”
Marjan just smiled back at her, returning her eyes to the road.
They eventually met their destination, after singing obnoxiously along to the radio the majority of the drive. To Nancy’s surprise, they pulled up to the fall festival in Dripping Springs. In front of her eyes were bales of hay, hundreds of pumpkins, and countless local vendors. She loved stuff like this but never had someone who cared enough to go with her, and was too nervous to go alone. Nancy was speechless.
“Is it, okay?” Marjan paused, “I thought you liked these fall kinds of things, but you haven’t said anything…”
Nancy looked back at her, “It’s more than okay. I love it, let’s go.”
They exited Marjan’s car and Nancy put her arm around her, “Is this okay?”
“Yes, of course.” Marjan reached up and kissed her cheek, fighting hard against their stark height difference.
It made Nancy feel warm inside. She always worried about expressing affection in public, especially with a woman. Being queer in Texas wasn’t always easy, but she knew it was harder for Marjan.
They walked around for hours. They sipped on hot spiced apple cider, sat and watched live music, Marjan bought a handmade necklace, and they enjoyed lunch together.
Towards the end of their day, they took a walk down a secluded path, past all the pumpkins and festivities and hustle and bustle of kids playing, the sounds of guitars and singing, away from everything, where they could just hear the sound of the wind and crisp, dried leaves blowing, and sat down on a bench together.
For a long time, they sat together in silence, hand in hand, existing in each other’s space without saying a word. They wanted to take in the beauty. There were trees, a beautiful body of water, the leaves were changing, and peace was just in the air. They loved living in Austin and everything that came with it, but getting away for just the day was nice too.
After a while, Marjan turned to her, “Nancy.”
She sounded serious, and Nancy started to worry. She had the best day with Marjan. Did she bring her out here just to break it off? That would be cruel right? Marjan wouldn’t do that, right? Nancy’s mind was racing, and she was trying not to show it on her face.
“I, I don’t know how to say this. I’m not good at these kinds of things.”
That statement did not calm Nancy’s anxiety in the slightest.
“This last month, I’ve never been happier. You’ve shown me what it’s like to be cared for, to be listened to, and how to be proud. I have always been afraid to be myself. I thought that I needed to be this cookie cutter version of myself. But you’ve shown me that it doesn’t matter who stares, or who disagrees. That I can hold your hand or kiss you in public and it’s okay . You complete me. You make me better. Maybe I’m freaking you out and going way too hard before we’re even in a relationship but-” Marjan paused, wiping the tears streaming down Nancy’s cheek. “Oh Nancy, will you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?”
Nancy leaned in, embracing Marjan’s lips with hers, breathing in her scent of pear and water lilies and tasting the saltiness of their tears falling into their mouths. Marjan broke away from their connection. “Is that a yes?” she laughed through her tears.
“Yes.” Nancy whispered, resting her forehead against Marjan’s. They sat there for a moment, then Nancy remembered that while they were in a secluded area, they’re still in public. She sat back, and took a deep breath, looking at Marjan with endearing eyes. “I just adore you.”
They turned back to the lake, Marjan rested her head on Nancy’s shoulder, taking in the radiance of their surroundings before heading back to their hectic life in the city. Nancy could stay in this moment forever and she would be at peace.