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South Carolina summers are not for the faint of heart. It’s mid-nineties and humid, the kind of weather that makes your shirt stick to your body and your hair to your forehead. Occasionally there is the sweet relief of a rainstorm, a monsoon that drops the mugginess to a minimum. On the rare nice days, when the sun decides to take a vacation behind the clouds, the Foxes do whatever they can to spend time outside.
It just so happened that the night before one of these golden days, Matt and the other Foxes found out that Neil never learned how to ride a bike. It made sense, they thought. Between the violent nature of his first ten years and the constant traveling once on the run, his parents wouldn’t have thought to teach him.
***
Everyone had come back early to practice for the season, before classes had started and after vacations were taken and various family members worth visiting were seen. It would still be another week before any of the freshmen joined, and the nine original Foxes were enjoying the relative peace on campus before the chaos of a new semester descended onto Palmetto State. This particular night saw them playing a relatively tame version of “Never Have I Ever,” not too drunk to bring out the raunchier questions.
Matt, sitting against one arm of the couch with Dan on his lap, went first. “Never have I ever….dyed my hair.”
Renee and Allison, sharing a loveseat, both took sips. Neil, seated at Andrew’s legs, and Aaron seated in his bean bag chair, also drank from their solo cups.
Nicky sat up from where he was lying on the floor and looked across the room at Aaron, shocked. “When did you dye your hair? Where was I?”
“Germany, I think. I wanted to see if I could pull off a darker look.”
Andrew rolled his eyes from his bean bag. “He couldn’t. It was a good lesson for me. Now I don’t have to wonder, either.” Aaron flipped him off before going next.
“Never have I ever been out of the country.”
This time, Nicky, Neil, Kevin, and Allison all drank. Nicky swiveled over at Kevin, who was sitting on the other end of the couch. He leveled an accusatory glance at the tall striker. “When did you leave the country? I can’t imagine the Ravens letting you go abroad.”
“He was born in Ireland, dumbass,” Andrew answered with his head tipped toward the ceiling. If he hadn’t spoken, it could even be assumed he was asleep.
“I always forget your Irish, you don’t have an accent.” Nicky looked deep in thought. “Neil, you’ve been drinking. Why don’t you go next? There has to be something you haven’t done.”
Neil sat pensively, tapping a rhythm onto his soda. Even with his secrets bared to this group, he didn’t always want to drink. Andrew started moving his legs to the same rhythm, bumping Neil’s back lightly. Finally, he looked back up at the group.
“Never have I ever ridden a bike.”
The room went quiet for a second, the only sound coming from everyone else taking a drink. Neil thought maybe one or two of the other Foxes wouldn't know either. The realization that he was the only one who couldn’t ride a bike, something that children are taught, brought a small flush to his face.
Nicky, not one keen on silence, broke first. “Do you want to learn? Aaron and I taught Andrew when they were in high school.”
“That could be fun!” Matt added from the couch. “It’s supposed to be surprisingly nice tomorrow, we could rent a few bikes and I’d be happy to help with teaching.”
And so it was decided that the Foxes would be going out the next day to teach Neil how to ride a bike.
***
Neil was woken up by the sound of Andrew’s feet hitting their bedroom floor from his bunk. His second sensation of the day was a bundle of clothes softly hitting his blanket-covered chest. Neil rubbed his eyes and looked at Andrew, waiting.
“Get dressed. We're going to Walmart.”
Andrew then left the room. Neil could hear the coffee pot being prepared and then the bathroom door closing. He glanced at the third bed, but Kevin was still asleep. Once his armbands and carefully curated clothes were on, Neil padded into the living room to pour himself a cup and wait for Andrew to be done. After a few minutes, Andrew left the bathroom and filled up a thermos with the rest of the coffee. He wordlessly grabbed his keys and made for the door. Neil didn’t need more of a signal to follow the shorter man out of their dorm and down to the Maserati.
Neil slid into the right side of the car. “You know I’m always down for a Walmart run, but is there a particular reason this morning?”
“Helmet and pads,” Andrew responded between drags of his cigarette, the smoke pouring out of his window in a thin line.
Neil nodded and settled into the passenger seat. Andrew was right. If anyone was at their injury quota for, say, the next three years, it was Neil. Andrew fiddled with the radio before settling on a classic rock station. The Maserati had become a bubble of comfort for Neil over the summer. Whether it was just him and Andrew, or sitting in the backseat with Aaron and Nicky on the way to Columbia, it was a space he felt safe in.
The drive to Walmart was quick, under ten minutes from the parking lot of Fox Tower. Andrew parked the car a few rows out back and the boys made their way into the behemoth of a store. Neil, Andrew, Kevin, and Aaron had spent a considerable time in this Walmart throughout the summer. The flow of time was thicker there, bathed in the fluorescent lights and blasting air conditioning. It was a good place for escaping the heat or a change of scenery from the court or the dorm when Columbia was too far away.
Andrew led Neil to the athletic section, sipping on his thermos. He never talked a lot, didn’t inherit the same gene that Nicky obviously had, but Neil knew that mornings were particularly quiet for Andrew. They found the bikes and helmets quickly enough. Andrew ran his hand over the different helmets: some were clearly for kids, but there were a good amount of adult mens’ as well. Neil tried to stop his eyes from lighting up when he found a bright orange helmet just out of Andrew’s reach. When the shorter man realized what was going on, he heaved a deep sigh and moved onto the bikes.
“I thought that Matt and Dan were going to rent bikes?”
Andrew didn’t turn, continuing his slow walk around the options. “If this is something you like, it’s better to just have one of your own. If you are terrible at it, then we can always return it.”
He brushed his fingers against a sleek black number. Neil watched Andrew’s hands as they worked the handles, the wheels, the pedals - checking for things that Neil didn’t fully understand. But Neil would know those hands blindfolded, and he knew that, even despite their deal being broken months ago, Andrew would do everything he could to keep Neil safe.
Andrew had Neil climb onto the bike to test the height and balance, mostly keeping his hands to himself. Once he deemed it appropriate, they made their way to the checkout counters. Neil noticed that Andrew had grabbed something else on their way.
“Do I really need pads? I get hit harder on the court than I would riding a bike.”
Andrew leveled his practiced do-I-need-to-spell-everything-out-for-you glare. “If you lose your balance and crack your elbow on the pavement, or break your knee on a curb, I am not helping you get around. You will have to deal with Kevin’s bitching on your own.”
Neil held his glare for a few seconds before giving in. He really didn’t want to give more for Kevin to moan about, especially with the new freshman coming so soon. The total came to just under two hundred dollars for the bike and gear, along with the couple of gatorades and candy that Andrew added last minute. Neil swiped his card before Andrew could make for his wallet. If he was going to put himself through this, he was going to be the financially responsible one.
***
By the time they made it back to their suite, Kevin was sleepily puttering around the kitchen. The bags under his eyes had shrunk in the summer months, and his frame had filled out. Without the threat of the king constantly looming over their heads, Kevin had slowly loosened his grip on the strict nutrition plan he always kept to.
“You couldn’t save any coffee for me, Andrew?” Kevin grumbled as pulled out more grounds and filled the pot with water.
“What is coffee?” Andrew answered as he rinsed out his thermos in the sink before walking back into the living room and sinking into a bean bag chair. Kevin rolled his eyes and set the new pot to brew, bringing out some fruit and oatmeal for him and Neil for breakfast. The strikers had taken to trading off preparing meals, with Andrew often eating off of Neil’s plate and supplementing with junk food he kept stashed in one of the cupboards.
Neil wandered over to the table, silently accepting his breakfast from the taller striker. Kevin and Neil ate in silence, the only sounds were the scraping of utensils and the soft fluttering of the pages of the book Andrew was reading. Kevin let the quiet last for a few minutes, before his curiosity got the better of him.
“Where did you go?”
“Walmart.”
“Oh.” Kevin chewed thoughtfully on a strawberry. “That was an early run. Any particular reason?”
Neil shrugged. “Andrew doesn’t want me to break any bones when Matt and Nicky are teaching me how to ride a bike later.”
“You’re actually going through with that? Neil, if you get injured from something as stupid as trying to ride a bike I am kicking you off the court.”
Andrew breathed a heavy sigh and slammed his book closed, the effect somewhat dimmed by the paperback cover. Neil knew that Andrew agreed with the sentiment of what Kevin was saying, but also wasn’t stupid enough to try and stop him once Neil had his mind set. Instead, Andrew would do what he always did: be a firm presence that Neil could rely on. Not for hand holding and hugs, but for watching his back and making sure he was safe.
Andrew got up and ambled into the kitchen, grabbing a chocolate chip granola bar and flopping down in the seat next to Neil. He opened it, careful not to rip any of the seams, and began meticulously breaking the bar into small bits. Kevin watched him, waiting for the eventual comment.
When Andrew was done massacring his breakfast, he peered at the taller man.
“If Neil wants to learn how to ride a bike, he is going to learn. We were all denied enough as children.” Kevin winced, but Andrew continued. “This doesn’t have to be another thing to add to that list.”
Neil showed his appreciation the best way he knew how: by moving his shoulder closer to Andrew’s, careful to still leave a gap between them. He saw the barest hint of a smile ghost of Andrew’s lips as the motion did not go unnoticed. “Plus, you could get in some rollerblading practice. And Andrew, do you and Aaron still have your skateboards?”
***
Fox Tower was throwing long shadows onto the concrete below. Cicadas and crickets and a gentle breeze kicked up into a South Carolina summer symphony. The door to the dorm opened, and nine bodies emerged carrying various helmets, water bottles, and manual modes of transportation. Matt had decided that they could use the local park to practice, as it had a decent sized field and a concrete basketball court.
Matt and Dan loaded up the back of his truck with three bikes and two pairs of rollerskates. Andrew and Aaron mirrored them at the Maserati, adding their skateboards and Kevin’s rollerblades to Neil’s bike in the trunk.
Nicky was almost vibrating with excitement. After the year the team had, it had gotten easier and easier to integrate the two groups. Not everyone would be best friends, but they were bonded in enough blood and bruises and promises to know they were more than just positions on the same team.
Allison and Renee rode with Dan and Matt, leading Andrew’s group to the park. Neil knew it from the runs that he had been taking with Kevin in the mornings. Gateway Park was good for him and Kevin’s morning routine in the summer. There was a lot of tree coverage, a beautiful garden to meander through when they needed to do a cooldown, and it was secluded enough that not a lot of students hung out there.
Aaron and Nicky were discussing the merits of riding on grass versus pavement next to him in the back, and Kevin was glued to his phone in the passenger seat. Neil spent the short ride drumming his fingers on the back door.
The Foxes pulled into the lot at Gateway Park after five minutes of driving, which was just enough time for Neil to realize something…something important. He was nervous. Neil’s tell tale heart was beating faster and faster, and his breathing was getting more shallow. Half moon grooves bit into his palm where he had unconsciously been digging his fingernails.
Anxiety’s partner in crime was never far behind, and Neil had to swallow thickly around his embarrassment. The bullet wound in his chest, the burns on his face and arms, and the knife wounds littered everywhere in between mocked his fear. It was a bicycle, not a moving car he had to jump out of to escape his father. Chris, you have to jump, I’m going to crash the car and I need you to jump, NOW. His mother’s voice echoed in his head, pulling him back years in the past. The smell of hot asphalt stung his nose as tears prickled to the surface.
The sudden weight of a familiar hand on the back of his neck brought him back to the present, and clean park air back into his lungs. Neil looked around - he hadn’t realized that he was the only one still in the car. Andrew had his door open and was standing over him. His impassive hazel eyes were a balm on Neil’s frayed nervous system.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t -” Neil started to speak, but Andrew cut him off.
“I don’t care. Are you coming?”
The words, blunt and indifferent, would be irritating from anyone else. From Andrew, they were a silent reminder that this was his choice - he could say no, and they would drive off and leave the rest of the Foxes behind in seconds.
Satisfied that Neil wasn’t going to have a full blown panic attack, Andrew moved away to help his family get the gear out of the trunk. Neil steadied his breathing and got up to join them.
“Sick bike, Neil. But what is that?!” Nicky gasped and he grabbed the fluorescent orange helmet.
Aaron scoffed, but Kevin looked pleased.
“It’s important to be safe, especially for Neil and me.” He pulled out the pads to pass to Neil. “We cannot afford an injury.”
The group got their various wheels and made their way over to the others. Dan and Matt were riding lazy circles around a picnic table, while Allison and Renee were lacing up their rollerskates. All of the upperclassmen were wearing helmets and pads. Matt whooped when he saw Neil’s gear.
“Neil, buddy, of course you’d find the perfect helmet. Come here, get your pads on and we can start!” He dismounted his bike, kicked out the kick stand, and flopped down on the table.
Neil watched Allison and Renee as he put on the pads and helmet. He knew that Renee was a demon on wheels, one of the few things besides sparring with Andrew that brought out a Natalie-colored glint in her eyes. Now, she was as gentle as can be, helping Allison up and getting her moving.
Andrew and Aaron were already doing tricks with their skateboards. If Neil had to guess, he would say that Aaron was the better skater. Hours spent watching Nicky and Aaron play Tony Hawk Underground in Columbia had helped him learn the names of some of the tricks. Aaron landed an ollie, while Andrew attempted some manuals.
“Do a kickflip! For Tony!” Nicky shouted from his bike, and was promptly ignored by both his cousins.
Neil finished gearing up and walked with the tall backliner over to where both their bikes were standing at the ready. He did a quick sweep of the Foxes, but no one else seemed to be paying attention to the pair. The lack of attention settled some of the nerves in his gut that had been building up again.
“So we’re going to lower the bike seat all the way down, and you’re just going to practice getting your balance, okay?”
“Yeah, okay.”
Matt held the bike upright while Neil swung his leg to the other side, straddling it under him. Matt pointed out the different parts and their uses as Neil got his sea legs.
“You have a handbrake on each handle. This one brakes the back wheel, and this one brakes the front wheel. The pedals move you forward - you want to figure out which leg is your dominant one and use it to push down on the pedal, and then once you’re moving, jump your other leg onto the other pedal and start…pedaling!”
Neil nodded, silently repeating everything that Matt was explaining. He could feel a pair of hazel eyes on his back, but he was too focused to catch their gaze. With both feet on the ground, Neil tested his balance. The bicycle wobbled underneath him, but after a while, he was able to push off from the ground and glide a few feet.
“Yeah, man, that’s great!” Matt clapped him gently on the back, encouraging without being overwhelming. This was one of Matt’s special talents.
Next, Matt had him practice using the pedals and the handbrakes. Neil pushed down on the pedal with Matt at his back. The first rotation of the wheels was exhilarating, before gravity thwarted him and he came crashing back down to earth. Before he could fully grasp what had happened, a strong arm yanked the bicycle off his body and over to the side. Those same intense hazel eyes scanned his frame, calculating the damage.
“I’m okay, Andrew. It was bound to happen, and it didn’t even hurt.”
Andrew looked back to the other Foxes, who were still preoccupied with their own activities. Kevin was flying around the basketball court on his roller skates, and it looked like Aaron was attempting to get Nicky on his skateboard. Andrew rolled his head to look up at Matt.
“Oh! It looks like Dan needs some help. I’ll leave you to practice, Neil. Remember your balance!” Matt replied smoothly to Andrew’s silent demand before sauntering off to his girlfriend.
Andrew’s gaze finally landed back on Neil, who had arisen from his tumble.
“Yes or no?”
Neil took a swig of the water bottle that Andrew brought over before answering. “For what, Andrew?”
“Me holding onto your back while you practice. It will help with your balance.”
Neil ran some quick calculations. The rest of the team were not paying them any attention, and he briefly wondered if that was intentional. There weren’t any other people in the park. It seemed like it was a good day for Andrew so far. Fuck it.
“Yes Andrew, you can hold me while I practice.” Andrew grimaced at his words. “Will you tell me before you let go?”
“Yes.”
The bike was retrieved and remounted. Calloused and familiar hands found his lower back, a place they had found themselves at many times this summer. The addition of those hands made Neil feel invincible. He could do anything with Andrew watching his back.
There were a few false starts, but eventually, Neil got the hang of it. Repetition and confidence are powerful tools. Neil pedaled further and further, telling Andrew to let go. He needed to feel it for himself. The power of propulsion, the wind in his hair, a voice in the back of his head telling him how much easier it would’ve been to run with two wheels instead of just two feet. At that thought, he forcefully gripped the hand brake.
Cheers erupted from behind him. The Foxes had stopped what they were doing to watch their teammate, their friend, their Neil, learn something so fundamentally normal. Positively mundane. It is a small reclamation of a childhood stolen out from under him, the gaining of a freedom he doesn’t need, but feels so sweet to have. Neil doesn’t have wings, but with pedals and gears, he feels like he can fly.