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It was a usual small meeting with just New York, Texas, California, Florida, Louisiana, and Gov. They had started to talk about political parties at first, but ever since Florida interjected with something about JD Vance, the meeting had derailed almost completely.
“Florida, please, Texas’ face is almost tomato-red, leave him alone.” Gov pleaded, watching as Florida giggled and sunk back into his seat. “Yeah! Aren’t we supposed to be on the same side? We’re both mainly red!” Texas exclaimed, slamming his palms on the table.
Gov sighed hopelessly, looking towards the two blue states at the table. California looked like he had wanted to interject hundreds of times when Texas and Florida were bickering, but he couldn’t get a word in. He was cutoff and just sunk a little into his seat everytime he wasn’t allowed to speak his mind. He sat in his seat with a somewhat defeated posture and was doomscrolling on social media.
On the other hand, New York sat with his head resting on his knuckles, right eye twitching while the two fought. He clearly didn’t want to be there and Gov couldn’t blame him. He looked like he had yet another sleepless night, the bags under his eyes never got smaller. Gov swore he saw him fight to stay awake a few times after he blinked.
The two continued to bicker over politics, even though, as Texas said, they were technically in the same party. But Florida did it because he loved to make people mad. He found it absolutely hilarious.
Louisiana just watched in amusement as the two went back and forth.
Gov rubbed his eyes harshly. The meeting was going well. Was. Florida just saw an opportunity to make someone angry and took the chance.
New York groaned, “Will yous twos just shut up?” New York didn’t yell like he usually did, it sounded more like a plead. The tiredness on his face was obvious and Florida took advantage of that.
He giggled, “Does Yorkie need a nap?” York tried to muster up a glare, but it mostly just looked like he was trying to look at something. His eyes were squinted and it looked as if he was trying to read really small text. “Fuck you.” He flipped Florida off, letting his head hit his elbow that was resting on the table.
Cal looked over at his coworker, “Dude, when was the last time you slept?” His voice held worry as he looked like he was afraid York might snap at him for asking. York groan was muffled by his sleeve as he shrugged, indicating that he had no clue when the last time he had slept. Sleeping felt like a distant dream to him, but even then he couldn’t have those because he couldn’t sleep anyway.
Gov was glad that Texas and Florida weren’t arguing anymore but he knew Florida would somehow find a way to rile up New York in this state. “I can’t imagine what it’s like to never sleep.” Florida mused, “I sleep every night and it’s great!”
New York lifted his head just enough so that Florida could see his hateful stare, then let his head fall back into the nook of his elbow. Florida grinned, knowing that New York would eventually get mad at him and bring out his bat. Now he had to guess which one, the one covered with stickers or the metal one. Florida wanted to annoy York until he pulled out the metal bat. Not many people had done that before. Florida knew Mass and Jersey were one of them, but he couldn’t recall if anyone else had.
He wanted to be one, and he will get it today. He must.
Florida pulled out insult to insult, mostly about sleep and how he couldn’t do that. California and Texas gave him a look to stop before he got hurt, but Loui gave him an urging glance.
It was more difficult than Florida had thought. New York hadn’t even looked up at him in the past five minutes. They all watched York as if he was an explosive that had a timer that was ticking. Even Cal slid his chair away a little. He didn’t want to get caught in the crossfire.
Florida gave up after seven minutes. He crossed his arms and huffed like a child as he sat fully down in his chair. Nobody said anything. Not even Gov.
The northeast states were truly like ticking time bombs. You get them upset, you only have so long until they yell or physically attack you. Gov knew the northeast all too well, so he knew their ways well and how to not cross them in a wrong way. But even he slipped up sometimes.
It wasn’t until three minutes of awkward silence until they heard quiet, even breathing coming from New York. He didn’t seem angry at all.
Cal cautiously poked him like he was poking a bear with a stick. New York didn’t move. “York..?” He asked. No response.
“Is he asleep?” Louisiana asked, looking towards Florida while grinning. Gov stared at the sleeping state confused. He had known New York for almost his whole life. He had finally realized that he has never seen this state sleep anywhere, ever.
The northeast had a habit of sitting in recliner chairs or laying on the couch and dozing off like old men would, but he noticed that New York never did when he sat down. Gov knew the noises of his bustling city keep him up at night. He also knew that the New York was on a different planet when it came to the northeast.
It was definitely weird watching the owner of the “city that never sleeps” sleep. Gov was sure that New York would snore or do something extravagant while sleeping, but he just stayed still and just.. slept. Gov would’ve could’ve never told anyone that this man was sleeping if he looked like that.
“Who’s gonna bring him to his bed?”
“Hey! Don’t look at me! That’s weird, I don’t wanna go touchin’ ‘im!”
“Texas, you big baby, just pick him up, we all know you can.”
“Ain’t no way. And whatta’bout you, Safe Space? Yer strong enough to pick him up.”
“I-“
“Mais Sha, if ya two keep yellin’, ya won’ gotta pick him up because he’ll be awake.” Loui said, grinning towards the two. Florida’s eyes brightened, “We should wake him up, he’d be so upset!” He cackled.
“Florida, that is your worst idea yet.” Gov sighed, “All of you, dismissed. I’ll get Penn or Mass to take him.”
Cal glanced at New York and then glared at Florida. Then he snapped away. Texas did almost the same, but glared at Florida for a different reason. He then followed suit, snapping away to do whatever the Texan did after a meeting.
Florida tried getting New York to wake up but Gov held him back and had to physically push him out of the meeting room as he yelled at the sleeping state. Louisiana filed out behind the two, taking sips of his daiquiri.
Gov slid back into the meeting room and locked the door, making sure the chaos state couldn’t get back inside. He then pulled out his phone, considering whether to call or text.
He quickly decided on texting because he really didn’t have the energy to fight a northeastern state with his voice.
-
Gov: Could you come pick up New York, please? He’s asleep in the meeting room.
Masshole: what? did u drug him?
Gov: What? No! He just fell asleep. I didn’t touch him.
Masshole: let the bastard sleep on the table, he’ll be ok
Gov: Massachusetts, please.
Masshole: why don’t u ask Penn to do it
Gov: I don’t know. I saw your contact first.
Masshole: fuck you
Masshole: ill be there in a minute
-
Why did he think texting was a good idea?
He slid his phone back into his pocket as he heard the loud conversation between Penn and Mass grow closer. Gov quickly unlocked the door and opened it, making sure Florida had left by now.
Mass and Penn entered the room. “He really is asleep,” Mass stated, Dunkin’ coffee in hand. “Great observation, dumbass,” Penn retorted, walking over to New York and dragging Mass along with him.
Gov watched as they tried to figure out a way to pick him up. Mass suggested bridal-style while Penn firmly believed in carrying him on his back. He was shocked to see that York hadn’t woken up from their unnecessary bickering. They did eventually decide on bridal-style, but Mass would just teleport them to York’s room so he wouldn’t have to risk waking him up by bumping into anything.
After several minutes of “You pick him up!” “No, you pick him up!”, Mass teleported the three of them away while Penn awkwardly held him. Gov’s day was finally over. Well, not over, he still had tons paperwork to do. But atleast he didn’t have to see anybody until tomorrow.
“Florida, I swear’ta God, if ya don’t stop lightin’ that stupid fuckin’ candle near me I’m going to beat the ever livin’ shit outta you!”
It’s never over, Gov reminded himself, his sense of accomplishment depleting.