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Chris leaned against the wall to peek around the corner without being noticed by his dad or Marisol, who were fighting in the kitchen. They kept their voices low, so Chris had no idea what they were fighting about exactly. But he thought it was pretty clear they would be fighting about the woman who had been here earlier and who had at first glance looked just exactly like his mom.
This woman was also the reason that Chris was sneaking through the house and using Dad and Marisol fighting to get away with it. They were so engrossed in their argument that neither noticed him passing by the kitchen door despite the door being wide open. Marisol had left her purse at the door and Chris grinned in triumph as he found the phone inside.
Chris had seen her unlock the phone often enough that it didn’t take him long to remember the code. Finding the Uber app wasn’t difficult either and navigating it seemed much easier than a couple of years ago when he had used it the last time. Chris waited impatiently right by the door for the ten minutes the app told him the car would need to arrive.
He really just wanted to get out of the house and away from everything for a little while. His gut churned every time he remembered the stranger, especially the look on her face when he had called her “Mom” by accident at first.
It was like a ghost had come back, only the ghost was made out of flesh and blood and cold eyes.
When the app showed him the car was nearly there, Chris put Marisol’s phone back in her purse and left the house, taking great care in closing the door as silently as possible. The car stopped right in front of the house and Chris opened the door, trying hard to project more confidence than he felt. Last time he hadn’t been this worried about being caught or something going wrong. But he had also been much younger and had known much less about how the world worked.
“You don’t look like a Marisol, kid,” the driver said. “Where are your parents?”
“At work,” Chris lied without blinking and climbed into the car. “You are new.”
The driver raised his brows. “New?”
“Is Juan not driving anymore?” Chris asked. “Or is he just off today?”
“How old are you?”
Chris huffed and glared at the driver. “13. The first time I took an Uber by myself, I was 9. I’m going to my other dad all the time!” Technically, none of that was a lie.
“And usually Juan is driving you? Why are you taking an Uber by yourself?”
Chris rolled his eyes and closed the door of the car. “All my parents and family are first responders. Firefighters, dispatchers, cops.” That wasn’t true about Marisol, but the driver didn’t need to know that. Chris raised his chin. “My dad’s girlfriend got called in for a shift. And Dad is on a shift. So Marisol ordered you—or, really, Juan—to drive me to my other dad. Because he’s just coming off work. She gave you his address through the app, didn’t she? And she also already paid!”
“I’m not sure I should drive you anywhere, kid.”
Chris pulled out his phone. “Do you want me to call my Aunt Athena? She is a police sergeant. But I think she’s on shift, too, today. She really doesn’t like it if we disturb her on shift. I just want to go to my other dad!” For a moment he wished he knew how to cry on command like Aunt Maddie, that would surely shut up all questions fast.
“Why is your other dad not picking you up?”
Chris huffed and glared. “He is only coming home from a shift now. It’s just faster this way. Really, why isn’t Juan here instead of you?”
The driver stared at him for a moment longer. Then he nodded with a deep sigh and turned around. “Okay, let’s drive you to your other dad.”
Chris leaned back with a satisfied smile, trying not to look as relieved as he felt. Last time the driver hadn’t asked that many questions, had just accepted his lie with a shrug. Chris was sure he wouldn’t have been able to lie as well as he had managed to do today. Last time he hadn’t been prepared for any questions either, but first Buck and then Dad had gone on a long rant about the driver not questioning Chris being alone. So this time, Chris had expected questions and prepared for them while waiting for the car.
The drive took half an hour, and the driver kept asking questions that Chris only answered hesitantly and carefully. He didn’t want to trip over anything he had said and make the driver suspicious again. He just wanted to get to Buck and away from his dad and the house and the ghosts of his mother.
“That’s your stop, kid,” the driver said.
Chris grinned brightly. “Thank you! I’ll tell everyone I’m okay with you driving me, too, when Juan isn’t there.”
The driver raised his brows. “Next time I’d prefer to talk to one of your parents.”
Chris nodded. “I’ll tell them.” He pulled out a twenty-dollar note and held it out to the driver. “I’m supposed to give this to you if I was happy with the drive.”
The driver looked at him for a moment before he took the money. “Thank you. Do you need help getting inside?”
Chris shook his head. “Thanks. I have the code for the door downstairs and a key for the apartment. Maybe until next time!”
He left the car before the driver could offer any more help. Chris walked to the house trying to appear confident while he got more and more nervous about the car not driving away. But as soon as he was inside and the door started to close behind him, he finally heard the car leave. Chris would make sure to tell everyone how concerned the driver had been in difference to the driver from last time. Maybe they would all be less angry if they knew about all the questions and the worry. With a sigh, Chris turned to the elevator to ride up to Buck’s floor.
He had already inserted the key in the lock when he remembered that it might be a good idea to ring the bell first instead of barging into Buck’s apartment without warning. One of the downsides of Buck’s apartment was that there really was no privacy to be had, something Dad had complained about regularly when he, Chimney, and Hen had stayed here a couple of years ago.
There was no answer, and when Chris opened the door and called out for Buck, there wasn’t an answer either. Chris bit his lip, suddenly feeling lost and overwhelmed. He had been sure Buck would be home, waiting for Chris to arrive to just be there for him as he had last time. As he had promised to always be.
Chris closed the door and locked it, fighting against the tears suddenly running down his face. Thankfully he knew the layout of the loft by heart, so his blurred-up view didn’t hinder him on his way to the couch.
He wanted Buck so he could complain about his dad and the stranger who looked like his mother, and just generally how unfair life was. But now he was all alone in Buck’s loft.
For a little while, Chris sat on the couch, curled up in himself and quietly crying. Eventually, he remembered his phone and pulled it out. Dad couldn’t have noticed that he was gone yet or he would have called already, Chris was sure of it.
For a moment Chris contemplated calling his father, just so he wouldn’t be worried when the fight with Marisol was eventually over and he would notice that the lump in Chris’ bed was nothing more than some clothes piled together to make it look as if Chris was hiding under his blanket. He suddenly felt a little bit bad about running away, remembering Dad’s frantic worry from last time.
Then Chris shook his head. Dad could worry for a little while. He probably deserved it, and it might do him some good. And he really didn’t want to talk to Dad anyway. Maybe he didn’t ever want to talk to Dad again, he hadn’t decided about that yet.
Eventually, Chris pressed his thumb against Buck’s contact, dialing his number hastily before he could change his mind again.
“Hey Chris,” Buck said as he picked up, sounding happy and carefree. “What’s up?”
Chris huffed. “Where are you?”
“At Tommy’s place.” Buck’s tone changed immediately.
Chris sighed. He should have thought about that. Buck had told him about his plans for this day with Tommy. He had been very open about dating Tommy now and was always super excited about it. Chris was happy for him, but right now he hated that Buck wasn’t home.
Buck asked with clear worry, “Where are you? You sound sad.”
“At your place,” Chris whispered. He closed his eyes tightly, waiting for the lecture to start.
“With your dad?” Buck asked hesitantly.
Chris swallowed. “No. I … took an Uber. Dad doesn’t know.”
Buck exhaled slowly. “Of course you did. I’m on my way home. What happened?”
Chris shrugged.
After a while, Buck sighed. “We’ll talk about it when I’m home. Promise me not to leave my apartment, okay? You know where everything is if you want a snack or something to drink. I’ll be home in twenty minutes, top.”
“Okay,” Chris whispered.
“Are you hurt, Chris?” Buck asked.
Chris huffed and rolled his eyes. “No.”
“Okay, good. I’ll be there soon.”
“I’ll be here,” Chris promised.
Buck chuckled sadly. “You better be! See you soon!”
With that, the call ended, and Chris dropped the phone on the couch. Earlier he had been unspeakably angry. So angry, that he hadn’t said a single word to his father. And he still didn’t want to talk to Dad. It hadn’t taken Chris long to recognize that the strange woman was, of course, not his mother. She had looked at him all wrong, and her whole posture was wrong, too.
Chris didn’t know who she was or why she had been at their house or why she looked exactly like his mother. And earlier, he also hadn’t cared for any of it. All he had wanted was for her to go away, and so he had shouted at her angrily to leave and never come back before storming off to his room. He didn’t know if she had even listened to him or if it had been Dad who made her leave.
But now all that anger seemed to have vanished and what was left was only a deep sadness. One he didn’t want to deal with because he didn’t want to miss his mother who had left him twice. He barely remembered the time before she had left for the first time, and he knew from his grandmother that his mother had been planning to leave again, had asked Dad for a divorce, and it just hadn’t happened before her accident had taken her away first.
Chris huffed when his phone started ringing with an incoming video call. He rubbed his hands over his face to wipe away the tears.
Of course, just thinking of his grandmother for even a second made her call. Most of the time Chris ignored her when she called because she always managed to call when he was busy with something else and really didn’t want to interrupt that for a conversation with her. Talking to his grandmother was always exhausting.
But now Chris needed a distraction from being alone and from this sadness crushing his chest, so he took the call. At least talking to his grandmother might just give him something else to be angry at. He didn’t like being angry at Dad and Grandma always managed to say something that made Chris angry about how she treated him.
So, Chris took the phone with a sigh and answered the call. But he didn’t manage to bring anything more out than a short “Hi,” as a greeting.
Grandma looked startled for a moment, then her gaze narrowed. “Are you crying, Christopher?”
Chris just shrugged. He already could hear the lecture coming about how he was too old to cry like a baby, that he had already enough things working against him, and that he didn’t need to make people think he was immature. Which was kind of funny as it was Grandma who always treated him like a baby anyway, tears or no tears.
Thinking about that lecture alone already brought the anger he had hoped for. But then he remembered Dad’s words about how much bullshit those lectures of Grandma were and all his anger turned at Dad again just because Chris remembered the stranger in their house.
“What happened?” Grandma asked sharply, but also sounding worried.
Chris bit his lip and stared at her. “I don’t know. I don’t understand what happened earlier.”
“Where is Eddie?”
Chris turned his gaze away for a moment. He didn’t want to admit to his grandmother that he had practically run away from home. “I don’t want to talk to him,” he said instead. “Or about him.”
“What did your father do now?” Grandma asked scathingly.
Usually, Chris was quick to defend his father or end the call whenever his grandmother brought up this question. Today, though, it felt kind of good to have someone who wouldn’t try to find an explanation for Dad’s behavior, who wouldn’t try to mend bridges as he was sure Buck would do later.
So, Chris said, “Marisol picked me up from Aunt Pepa’s. And when we came home Dad was there with Mom, hugging and stuff.”
Grandma blinked and opened her mouth but didn’t say anything. It wasn’t often that Grandma didn’t know what to say but Chris very much understood how flabbergasted she had to be.
“It wasn’t Mom, of course. Because Mom is dead. And if she wouldn’t be, she probably wouldn’t want to come back anyway.” Chris huffed. “And when she looked at me, she looked all wrong, too!”
The stranger’s eyes had been distant and kind of cold when she had looked at him. It had sent a shiver down Chris’ back when she had looked at him.
“I…” Grandma inhaled deeply. “I don’t know what to say.”
“I shouted at her to leave and locked myself in my room.” He wouldn’t admit to running away. That was none of Grandma’s business.
“When was that?” Grandma asked, finally finding her composure.
Chris shrugged. He had no idea. “An hour ago?”
“And Eddie hasn’t checked in on you yet? What is he doing?”
Chris rolled his eyes. “Don’t wanna talk to him. I ignored him when Dad knocked on my door. And the door’s locked.”
Grandma hissed and shook her head. “And of course he just lets you lock yourself into your room, irresponsible as he is! Your grandfather and I will be on our way as soon as we can.”
“On your way?” Chris asked confused. That wasn’t the reaction he had expected and been looking for. He had thought Grandma would start bitching about Dad, telling him all the things his dad did wrong like always. She loved telling him not to listen to his father because in her eyes everything he did was wrong anyway.
Grandma put on the patronizing smile Chris hated so much. “We’ll come and get you, of course. We should have done that years ago. I’m so sorry, baby, that I didn’t stop Eddie from hurting you.”
And there was the anger at his grandmother Chris had been hoping for, overwhelming enough to push his anger at Dad away. But it didn’t stay long, because it was nearly immediately replaced by panic.
“You don’t need to come!” Chris said.
Grandma sighed. “Of course we do, sweetheart. Your father is clearly not able to take care of you. Surely you see that now? You said yourself just now, you don’t want to see him. You’ll feel better once you’re here in Texas with us.” Her voice turned into that sweetly patronizing tone Chris had come to always roll his eyes about. “You should have always been here. Eddie should have never forced you to leave your home.”
Chris shook his head frantically.
Grandma didn’t give him any time for more protests. “You don’t need to worry about anything. If we can’t get a flight, we’ll take the car and drive through the night. We’ll be there tomorrow at lunch at the latest. If you need any help before that, call me. We’ll find a solution.”
“That’s not…” Chris started.
“Nonsense,” Grandma interrupted him. “You’ll be out of that horrible situation soon. Are you good to stay in your room until we are there? You don’t need to talk to Eddie if you don’t want to. Don’t let him force you.”
Chris bit his lip and shrugged. Grandma was completely in the kind of mood where she wouldn’t let him finish any of his sentences anyway. There was no point protesting her plans or trying to explain that he didn’t want to go to Texas. She’d just ignore everything he said.
Grandma smiled. “Don’t worry about anything, sweetheart. We’ll make it right.” And with that, she hung up.
Chris dropped the phone on the couch and stared at the dark TV. He shouldn’t have accepted the call. He should have remembered that talking to Grandma always, without exception, made everything worse.
Chris crossed his arms over his chest and huffed.
But that would be Dad’s problem to deal with, wouldn’t it? They’d argue and fight with Dad as they always did and keep him out of it because they thought him to be a baby. And Dad would do everything to keep them away from Chris during the argument so they wouldn’t hurt him. That’s always how it went.
And maybe Dad deserved to deal with them this time.
In the meantime, Buck could help Chris figure out everything else. And Buck could also tell Dad to get the stranger out of their lives again. Buck always managed to make things right again when Chris and Dad couldn’t do it on their own. He’d do it this time, too.