Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Over time, it slowly became a tradition for the team to meet at Rossi’s the second day after a case. The first day back was designated for catching up on rest, and hopefully finding some peace and quiet, whereas the second day (or evening, technically, as everyone was required to complete paperwork during the daytime) was spent in celebration. What exactly everyone was celebrating varied among the team, some would try to take solace in the lives saved, some would celebrate that they themselves and their team got back in one peace, and yes maybe a certain duo consisting of Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia used this as an excuse to get slightly too drunk and party with their friends.

Spencer had just finished his workday, filing away the last pieces of paperwork. Normally he would find enjoyment in these menial tasks, sure it can get a little boring but he likes combing through all the information and laying it out in a way that makes sense to him. However, the last case involved children, and it always seemed to be these cases that left Spencer Reid feeling void. He was more than ready to leave, and while grabbing his coat and trusty messenger bag, he planned out what time he would get home after taking the metro, how long he would need to get ready, and how long it would take to get to Rossi’s.

As Reid was heading out the main doors, he was broken out of his thoughts by a voice shouting his name. It took him a second to work out where the sound was coming from, but felt relief once he understood the situation. It brought a small smile to his lips when he saw Morgan parked out, hollering for his friend’s attention.

“Need a ride?”

Spencer didn’t need to respond but quickly slipped into the passenger seat. A quick thank you slipped from his lips before Morgan was pulling out of the car park, seemingly going straight to Rossi’s. It bothered Reid that his plans had changed, but there was also a sense of relief that he wouldn’t have to stress about being late. Morgan blasted some random 90’s rock music, and Spencer felt he could relax in his seat.

“You gonna drink tonight?”

“Mm, maybe a couple drinks, yeah” Morgan pulls a slightly shocked face, knowing full well that Reid rarely drinks, but he doesn’t question it either. Spencer follows a similar thought process, asking “Are you planning to drive home later?”

“Nah, Rossi said I could leave my car at his and pick it up tomorrow, I need a drink”

Spencer hums in agreement. It doesn’t take long for them to make it to Rossi’s house, and while walking down his surprisingly long driveway, Morgan spends his time trying to guess what type of drunk Spencer would be. He tries to remind Morgan that he is only having a drink or two, but that doesn’t do anything to stop him in his tracks, so Spencer just listens in slight irritation at his friend's guesses. Once the suggestion reaches ‘crying drunk’ Spencer tries to shoot the conversation down, though Morgan takes this as an open confession and teases him even more.

The two agents let themselves into the house, as the polite gesture of knocking and waiting had long been thrown out the window. Rossi often joked that the team was way too familiar in his home, but everyone knew deep down that he was proud to have his home as the safe space for his family.
Before even stepping over the threshold they could already hear Garcia’s voice, animatedly debating something, and as they got closer it became obvious that it was a discussion about Doctor Who.

“And it wasn’t Whittaker’s fault that she got stuck with Chris Chibnall, of course, a male writer had to let down the one chance we had for a female doctor”
Spencer looks at Emily with a concerned look, “What did you say to her?”

“All I asked was what she was watching at the moment, she’s been ranting for about fifteen minutes!”

Garcia had the decency to look bashful, though still spent the next five minutes finishing off her thought process. To be fair to Emily she sat and listened, and even tried to settle Garcia as her rant had gotten her a little worked up.

Spencer looked around, trying hard not to spill all his Doctor Who knowledge as he knew Emily would not appreciate what was already a long conversation, and he had already shared everything he knew with Garcia. He noticed a bunch of drinks set out, which he assumed were made by Rossi who was practically the team’s bartender at this point (apparently, he’s tried drinks from all around the world, though Spencer can never tell if he’s exaggerating his stories or not). He picks a drink, going for a colourful pink drink that had a piece of lemon stuck on the rim. One of the reasons he doesn’t drink with his co-workers is because he gets nervous someone will make fun of his taste in alcohol, usually leaning towards the fruity ‘girly’ drinks. Another reason is that he can become overly truthful, which is why he plans to not have too much to drink tonight.

Several drinks later Reid was sitting on the floor cross-legged, putting his focus on not rocking back and forth. The whole team was here now, and he loved watching them interact when they were all so happy. Emily, Rossi, and Morgan are all teasing each other over the last poker game they played on the plane, as apparently one of them failed miserably and according to said loser, the others were cheating. JJ and Hotch were showing each other pictures of their kids, which Spencer knew meant they were at least tipsy as they tried not to let their home life bleed into their work life when sober. As for Garcia, she had run back to the bathroom for the millionth time in a row, having had way too much to drink.

Unbeknownst to him, Garcia was trying to sneak back to see if she could silently attack Spencer with a hug from behind. Thankfully JJ, being the angel that she was, stopped her in her tracks.

“I wouldn’t do that Pen, last time someone tried to hug Spence he looked like he was going to punch ‘em”

Spencer turned around and jumped away, laughing it off though secretly being so relieved that JJ had called her out.

“Awhh, but my resident genius can’t resist a hug from me, can ya?”

“I can and I will” he says, still trying to keep his voice light. He grew slightly anxious, wondering if Garcia would force him into a hug, but she pouts dramatically before blowing him a kiss instead and goes to find her seat.

“Why don’t you like hugs Spence?” she asks, seeming genuinely curious.

“Did you know that thousands of germs can pass through a single hug and that it is considered one of the main ways for germs to spread through contact? Also, hugs are unpleasant so why bother?”

Morgan, who had quite a few drinks in his system and was not going to drop this subject any time soon, chimed in, hoping to get a hug out of the doctor before the end of the night.

“What if… You were held at gunpoint; would you hug someone then?”

“Mm… Depends, are they shooting me in the head or somewhere safer, like my foot”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, if my life was on the line I think I’d take the hug, but if it was just a bullet to the foot, I’d take the bullet”

Everyone looked in disbelief, waiting for Spencer to start laughing. He couldn’t help but look confused at everyone else’s confusion.

“If I got out my gun and said give me a hug, you would 100% hug me”

Morgan was determined to make Spencer crack, treating this as a game despite Spencer’s blunt answers.

“Wow, do you really want me dead Derek?”

“And maybe don’t talk about killing your co-worker in front of your unit chief” Hotch added, feeling the conversation was starting to go south.

“Don’t turn this around on me Pretty Boy, you’re the one being dramatic”

“No, I’m not”

“So, you’d actually let me shoot you in the foot?”

“Mm yeah probably”

Emily was getting tired of the conversation, sensing that both boys were just going to keep riling each other up. “You’re such a liar when you’re drunk Spencer”

“It’s your choice to believe me or not, but I don’t tell lies… I guess unless it was to protect myself or to stop others from worrying… But in general, I try not to lie, I don’t fully understand the point of lying…”

“Spence, why would you rather get shot than hug someone, by one of your friends no less?” JJ asks, in her concerned Mum voice that usually tells Spencer he’s slipped up and shared something he wasn’t supposed to.

“It’d be less painful”

“What?”

“Actually yeah, if you do have to hug me, maybe shoot me in the foot beforehand so I have a distraction”, Spencer says trying to make his words into a joke, not realising yet how unsuccessful he was at doing so.

Morgan’s demeanor has completely shifted. His shit-eating grin has morphed into something not far off JJ’s concerned look, and it’s starting to make Spencer worry. “What are you on about Pretty Boy?”

“Well, you know that feeling like your skin is burning when other people touch you? Or well, maybe not burning because it’s not hot, but it like tingles in a way that makes you want to scratch the feeling away. I don’t know how other people do it really, it’s a horrible feeling”. He just can’t stop himself from talking. Spencer worries this was the wrong thing to say, but it’s the truth so what’s so wrong with that?

“Spencer, that’s not what physical contact usually feels like” Garcia says, in a tone that’s way too gentle for someone who only gets louder the drunker they get.

“It’s not? Are you sure?”

“Well, I don’t feel like that, does anyone else?”

No one in the room responds.

“Oh… Guess it’s just another me problem…”

Chapter Text

It had become a tradition for the team to meet at Rossi’s, but it most certainly was not part of the tradition for everyone to get so drunk that most of them fell asleep at his house.

Considering that Reid did not drink often, he was surprised that he didn’t have much of a hangover when he woke up, though he would not deny his desperate need for coffee. He slowly sat up, recognising the room as Rossi’s spare room, and looked around expecting to see others on the floor or even in the bed with him. Reid was shocked that he had the room all to himself. The silence wasn’t unpleasant, but it simply felt odd. Spencer couldn’t remember ever being at someone else’s house and having complete silence.

After exiting the room, Spencer found everyone huddled around in the kitchen. Garcia had a throw blanket strewn on like a cape, while Emily sat at the head of the table with sunglasses on, while nursing a tall glass of water. Some were chatting, while the others looked like they were still asleep.

“What time is it?” Spencer said, alerting everyone he had entered.

“Ten past ten”

“Thanks… Where’s Hotch?”

“Oh, he was the only one sensible enough to get an Uber home”

Spencer tries to be subtle as he scans the room, trying to work out where Garcia and JJ got hold of the pancakes they were eating, though Rossi seems to catch his glances. He serves him three pancakes all covered in golden syrup and, as if reading his mind, a freshly brewed cup of coffee.

He sits down with his breakfast, and within a few minutes, everyone is sat around the table. The chit-chat continues, mostly due to Garcia’s willingness to share everything that pops into her mind, but her friends indulge her every time. Rossi asks everyone how they slept which is received with various answers. Spencer admits that he slept surprisingly well, though figures that might have something to do with what is likely an expensive mattress.

“How come I got the spare room?” Spencer asks, finding it slightly suspicious that he has no memory of fighting for it (though his memory of the previous night is a little hazy).

The girls all glance between them, as if unsure how to answer, but JJ pipes up saying “Well, we figured everyone would be stuck together in the lounge, and you’d be the one who’d appreciate the space most”

“Oh… Thank you”

“Actually Spence, we wanted to talk to you about what you said last night”

Immediately Spencer was filled with dread, what on earth had he said? There were chunks of the night he simply couldn’t remember, what if he had casually owned up to any of his darkest secrets, what if they’re perception of him was changed forever? His mind spiralled so quickly, that he didn’t process JJ’s next words straight away.

“You know, the whole hugging is painful thing”

“Oh”

Relief flooded his body, knowing that although this may not be an easy conversation at least it wasn’t that big of a deal.

“What about it?”

“Well, we just wanted to know more about it really, so we can understand you better”

“What do you want to know?”

JJ strives on, knowing Spencer won’t give up the information easily (mostly as he doesn’t understand what she is digging for in the first place)
“Erm, does physical contact hurt with everyone?”

“Mm… Maybe not so much with the people I know well, I actually don’t mind hugs from my Mum, and I guess it's not that bad with you guys, but something like shaking hands with a stranger is horrible”

Emily asks the next question, clearly curious as to why their resident genius works the way he does.

“Do you know what causes it?”

“Well, I know hypersensitivity with physical contact can be caused by trauma, or mental health conditions such as anxiety or depression, but I’ve had these issues since before I can remember. It can also be caused by sensory issues, but I don’t have any other sensory issues so that can’t be it”

“Reid, you wear the same clothes all the time, complaining that most clothes are uncomfortable” Morgan chimes in with.

“Yeah, and you seem to completely malfunction when it gets too hot” Garcia adds a little too dramatically.

“Don’t you eat the same few meals over and over again?” asks Rossi.

“Okay okay, maybe it comes from a slight sensory issue. It’s solved, happy?”

“Well, what causes sensory issues?”

“There isn’t a definite list of what causes sensory issues, as it can vary from person to person, but most commonly it is caused by trauma in the womb, developmental difficulties, neurodiversity such as ADHD and autism, and… Wait, why do you ask?”

Again, everyone starts to glance between themselves, making Spencer feel quite self-conscious. He hates that he can’t read the looks between them. Morgan decides to bite the bullet.

“Listen, we’ve noticed some things, and when you put these things together it sounds like it can only be one thing… We think you might be autistic Spencer”

“Oh”

Spencer feels, for once in his life, dumbfounded. He doesn’t know what to say at all, and all he can think about is what must be going through their heads. Are they going to treat him differently?

“What do you think Spence?”

“I don’t know” Spencer answers honestly. He knows plenty about autism, but it’s always been information given in relevance to others, he’d never considered it for himself. It was hard to process this information though when everyone was watching and waiting for his response.

“You know this doesn’t change anything if it is true? And you don’t have to listen to us if you think we are wrong” Garcia says, as if knowing how anxious he feels.

“Yeah Spence, we only wanted to tell you 'cause we think it might help… Like with yesterday, now we know not to touch you unless you ask, right? Are there other things like that?”

Spencer tries to think back on every situation where he’s felt the need to hide what he’s truly thinking or feeling, and he knows this happens all the time. For some reason, with this being sprung on him his mind has gone blank.

“Probably, but I can’t think of anything off the top of my head”.

“Well, that’s a first”.

“Morgan, not now” JJ criticises.

“What, it’s true! Anyway… Pretty Boy, you just let us know if there’s anything you need us to know, right?”

“Okay… Can I go home now”

Morgan agrees to take Spencer home and does his best to make haste knowing the genius probably needs some space and time to think. Once they have all that they came with, they head to Morgan’s car in silence. Morgan hopes that his friend doesn’t spend the rest of his day overthinking everything that’s been said.

Chapter Text

The next day Spencer enters the bullpen with one thing on his mind. He knows it’s going to be hard to focus, but he’s used to this feeling by now. He sits at his desk, hoping no one will make a big deal out of yesterday’s conversation, but he knows to drop his expectations when Morgan starts heading towards his desk, which naturally turns everyone’s attention to where he is going.

“You alright, kid?”

“Fine, you?”

“I’m good, just checking we didn’t freak you out yesterday”

“No, I’ve been fine thanks”

This seems to get his team's attention, who were of course all eavesdropping, specifically Emily who knows just how far Spencer can go to hide his feelings.

“He means it Reid; we don’t want you uncomfortable with us for bringing this up. If you’re not happy about what we said, you can tell us”

“Actually, I’ve found it quite helpful”

“Really? Do you want to elaborate?”

“Do you have the time?” Spencer murmurs under his breath, knowing even with hours to explain all he has learned he would not be able to make anyone understand the full complexity of his experiences.

“How much time do you need Doc?” Morgan quips back, not wanting to miss anything.

JJ couldn’t help but stop Spencer’s train of thought by asking “Wait, you rushed out of Rossi’s as if you couldn’t stand being there, are you sure we didn’t freak you out?”

“Oh, I wasn’t uncomfortable, I was actually excited to go home and do some research”

This seems to make everyone chuckle, to which Spencer decides to double down and emphasise the full extent of what yesterday consisted of.

“I’ve actually begun comprising a full binder of information, not so with the condition as a whole but how it applies to me. I have been categorising and colour coding all the various traits I experience, though I expect some will be revealed once I live through them from now on, using my newfound knowledge to help them make sense”

“Should’ve never doubted you kid” Morgan says, with a smirk playing on his lips.

“Spence, that sounds amazing. I’m glad you’ve been able to start making sense of things. You know you can talk to us about anything right?”

“Realistically yes, but please understand that your experiences won’t always match up to mine. There are things I never share because I know they would not make sense to others, so even with this new awareness it may still be hard for you to understand”

“Do you trust us to at least try?” Garcia asks sincerely.

“Honestly, I’ve lived my whole life not understanding the way I function, and I am still coming to terms with it. There are habits I have built up that I think will be hard to break down, I can’t promise I will be able to move past that straight away. But I promise to try if you guys do too”

“Of course we will Spence”