Chapter Text
Its funny how different things were important to different people. Some people thought that money or fame was more important than family and friends, but Shane was the opposite. He’d always treasured family times more than others, and enjoyed spending time with them over buying a new car or getting a paycheque. So it makes sense that now he was separated from a part of it that it hurt. Oh God, did it hurt. There was an almost constant physical ache in his chest, making him tired and angry. The only thing that soothed it slightly was being with Carl. He thanked God everyday that he still had him, and that he hadn’t suffered the same fate as-.
Shane hadn’t, couldn’t even start to accept what had happened until it was month in and it suddenly hit him. This was how the world was now now, how it would always be. A part of him was gone and it was never coming back, no matter how much he hoped and wished for it. Was he expected to just move on? He tried to picture himself a couple of years down the line, as happy as he’d been just a couple of months ago, with someone else. He snorted at the idea. The world had gone to shit, romance would be unlikely from now on, unless he decided to settle down with a walker. A chuckle escaped him, but he quickly pursed his lips shut, ashamed that he had made light of the situation. No amount of jokes would make things ever ok again. In time, maybe it would be ok, he would ‘get over it’ as much as possible. For now it just hurt.
So he pushed all thoughts of the past aside and focused on now, on surviving, and protecting what family he had left. He protected Carl at all times, and tried to be strong to make up for what his son had lost.
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They'd only been working at the station for a couple of years before Rick came down ill with the flu. He’d avoided taking a day off so far, but this time Shane put his foot down and told him he wouldn't be much use if he couldn't make an arrest because he was too busy blowin' his damn nose.
He knew after ringing him at lunch that Rick’d been in bed all day, so he’d stopped by the store on the way home from work to pick up some chicken soup that he knew was Rick’s favourite. It was on the stove heating up while he took off his boots and jacket, sitting down at the table and resting after a long day at work. As it cooked the smell of it filled the room, and he started wishing he'd picked up another can for himself. After it was done he poured it into a bowl, grabbed a spoon and a glass of OJ, and went upstairs to the bedroom. The room was overly warm but he still see Rick shivering underneath the blankets. “Hey… Sit up, I got you some of that soup I know you like” Shane said gently, as he stood by Rick’s head. The man stirred and sat up, rubbing his eyes blearily.
Making sure to place a folded towel down first so Rick didn’t burn himself on the hot bowl, he placed the soup in Rick’s lap. “You feelin’ better at all now?” Shane asked, lightly holding the back of his hand to Rick’s forehead.
“Not much” Rick replied, honestly. The heat burning into Shane’s hand only confirmed this.
“Aw crap you’re burning up” Shane moved to open the windows and try to air out the stifling room. The handle moved slowly, stiff with disuse, so he made a mental note to oil it soon. Moving back over to Rick he gently climbed onto the bed, trying not to jostle the soup. He sat there quietly as Rick ate, feeling the breeze through the open window lower the temperature of the room back down to a more bearable level. When Rick had finished he place the bowl on the side table, took a few huge gulps of juice, and then leaned into Shane, wrapping an arm around him. “Thanks for lookin’ after me” He mumbled, and promptly fell asleep.
Staring down at his partner looking so peaceful and feeling the weight of him on his shoulder, he felt his heart miss a beat. At this moment in time, Shane didn’t think he could feel more content with his life. All the disapproving glances, awkward comments from friends and other officers were worth it in the end if he got to experience this for the rest of his life.
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Life at the camp was fairly monotonous, but he enjoyed having a routine again after the chaos of first weeks after the walkers appeared. Even so, he was still frustrated. He knew he appeared kinda unfriendly to the other people, and he tried to be polite, he really did, but sometimes they just got on his nerves. Maybe it was because he was a cop and was used to being in dangerous situations, but it annoyed him the way the others couldn’t defend themselves at all and acted so helpless whenever a walker came near them. Still, he tried to make an effort to educate them because that's what he would do, and since he was gone Shane guessed he couldn’t rely on others to be nice for him any more.
Carl seemed to be doing ok at least. He’d been absolutely distraught after Shane told him Rick had-. That he wouldn’t be joining them as they left home. But he’d started to accept the idea, and while it broke Shane’s heart to see it, he knew it was for the best. He was a strong, smart kid, he knew what happened couldn’t be changed so they just had to move on. He also had a friend, the daughter of another couple named Sophia, to keep him company whilst Shane was off finding food or keeping lookout.
It was late at night, hot and clear, with a gentle breeze drifting through camp every so often. The kids had gone to bed, and it was just the adults left up, drinking the few beers they had and talking. Shane hadn’t been paying attention to the conversation for the last 5 minutes, and when he tuned in again he realised with a sinking feeling that the topic had turned to what their lives had been like before all of this happened.
“I can imagine you as a lawyer, Andrea” Dale said pensively, “You definitely have the right characteristics for it.”
“Wait a minute, what’s that supposed to mean?” The woman in question replied defensively.
“Nothing, nothing! i just meant that you’re very strong willed, which seems like a good thing for a lawyer to be” He held up his hands in surrender, and joined in with her sister, Amy, when she laughed.
“Have you noticed she’s defensive too?” Amy asked good-naturedly. The rest of the group let out a quiet chuckle. Speaking quietly had been one of the habits the group had picked up, and personally Shane was glad for it. The world was already shit enough without people being obnoxiously loud on top of it. He zoned out slightly again. He really didn’t care about what these people did before. Not in a rude way, but he just found it pointless to talk about careers that no one would ever have again.
“What about you Shane?” Jacqui, nudged him.
“What about me?” He’d obviously missed the question.
“What did you do before this?”
“Uh… I think it was pretty obvious what I did” He replied dryly, motioning his uniform” He didn’t want to tell these people stuff that wasn’t any of their business, dammit.
“Come on, give us a little more than that” Andrea chimed in.
“Well, I was an officer at King County where I lived and worked for most of my life, I have a son, that’s about it.” There was no way he was talking about him, he didn’t particularly feel like opening that wound back up again. He stood up, wanting to get out of there.
“Were you married at all?” Jesus Christ these people were nosy.
He laughed shortly, muttered “I’m goin’ to bed”, and went to do just that.