Work Text:
Katakuri inhaled and exhaled, trying to catch his breath after the great effort he had put into his punches. His fist-shaped hands trembled as if there was an earthquake in them.
The environment I was in... wasn't the best. There were trees split in half, with broken branches or missing parts of their trunks and leaves. Others had marks as if something sharp had grazed or pierced them. The ground was covered in shattered leaves and branches, rocks were broken apart, and the earth had been torn up in some areas nearby. There was also a mochi-like substance scattered around in some places. In short, the place was chaos.
The trees still standing trembled in fear at the sight of the First Commander getting so angry; they had never seen him this mad before. Well, they hardly ever saw him around anyway. Katakuri, whenever he visited the island, only did so to carry out tasks or stay by his mother's side at all times before leaving. He rarely went to the forest, and when he did, it was just to take a few minutes to calm down before leaving just as he had come.
But now, Katakuri looked like a beast. It came out of nowhere. The Devil Fruit user just appeared suddenly, but instead of looking serious and calm as he always did, he looked very different... Katakuri... he looked angry.
No.
Katakuri was angry.
With heavy breathing, a darkened gaze, veins bulging and throbbing on his forehead, his hands clenched into fists as they trembled. Before some trees could even register what was happening, a few had already been uprooted and struck by the man.
Katakuri struck the place like a beast, unleashing attacks on the first thing that crossed his path, and he didn’t stop for a long time,he needed to release his anger somehow.
Now he stood in the middle of the mess he had made, trying to catch the breath he had lost. His whole body trembled, just like his shaky breathing, which he inhaled and exhaled slowly. Now, only his breathing could be heard; everything else was drowned in an unsettling silence.
Katakuri was so deep in his own world that he didn’t hear the footsteps slowly approaching him. He only snapped back to reality when the sound of a branch breaking reached his ears. He quickly transformed his arm into mochi and directed his gaze toward the source of the noise.
“You better come out before I do something crazy…” he threatened, glaring at the bushes where the branch had broken behind them.
The bushes began to shake, sounding as if something was pushing through them. Katakuri stood watching, ready to attack. It didn’t matter who it was—no one could know that he was responsible for this mess.
And something came out of the bushes.
They stared at each other for a few seconds until Katakuri broke the tension with a sigh, returning his arm to normal. The small rabbit that had emerged from the bushes just looked at him, twitching its little nose, and then simply left the way it had come.
Well, at least there was no one else who could interrupt him or see him like this.
"Katakuri?"
This has to be a damn joke.
Mentally praying it wasn’t who he thought it was, Katakuri quickly turned his gaze to the voice that had called him from behind, his eyes widening as he saw who was looking at him.
Rosinante stood there, right in front of him, but he wasn’t looking directly at him. He was looking around, observing how the place looked like the scene of a fierce battle, with uprooted trees or missing pieces, as well as the broken ground and massive shattered rocks.
Great. Of all the people on this damn island who could have found him in this state, it had to be his husband. Although he wasn’t sure whether to feel grateful or curse the fact that it wasn’t one of his siblings.
Katakuri cursed silently; he really wanted to be alone right now, but his husband had to come looking for him. If only he wasn’t married, maybe he’d be alone now. Or if he had gotten divorced after it became public that Donquixote Doflamingo was defeated and taken to Impel Down. But his mother decided the marriage had to continue, not just because they had only been married for a few months, but because Mama didn’t care that Doflamingo had been defeated. She only cared that the marriage continued due to the Celestial blood running through Rosinante’s veins.
After looking at the site for a few more seconds, Rosinante turned his gaze toward him.
But before their eyes could meet, Katakuri turned his back to him and crossed his arms.
“What are you doing here?”
He tried to make his voice sound indifferent and cold, not wanting to show any weakness. He knew that in Rosinante’s eyes there would be fear, seeing what kind of beast Katakuri could become when he lost control. Or maybe disappointment—disappointed that he was forced to marry a man who couldn’t control his emotions and had to "vent," someone weak.
With that thought, Katakuri began to tremble slightly, tightening his grip on his arms.
It didn’t matter which one it was; Katakuri just knew he didn’t want to see that look in Rosinante’s eyes. It was already enough to deal with the looks his mother used to give him. Because he knew he would never see her again, and not because he had finally become the perfect son she wanted. But because she was dead.
It sounded like a joke. With her defeat in Wano, the news spread as if it were the only news in the world. When the news arrived, it felt like being doused with seawater; it was very hard to believe. Mom was strong, hard to defeat; she couldn’t lose to some rookies from this new generation... his mother...
“Katakuri? Hey…”
He felt a hand on one of his arms, pulling him out of his thoughts once again. This was absurd. Ever since the news of his mother’s defeat, Katakuri had been lost in his thoughts, and he couldn’t allow that. He was supposed to be the pillar for his siblings, not letting himself be swept away by his emotions and thoughts—just being the brother they needed.
Katakuri let out a sigh and lowered his gaze to see his husband, already feeling ready for the look of fear or disappointment he would receive from the blonde. Katakuri didn’t even know if he cared or not.
But he wasn’t ready for the look he got.
It wasn’t one of fear, nor was it disappointment, damn it; there wasn’t even a hint of anything negative.
Rosinante’s gaze was one of... concern.
His hazel eyes shone with concern as they stared at him. Why that look? Of all the negative emotions he could have received, why that one? Maybe he was worried that he would be Katakuri's next target, but if that were the case, it wouldn’t make sense for him to approach him. So... why?
Rosinante extended one of his arms, and Katakuri watched as his hand slowly approached his face. Was he going to slap him? No, his hand was moving too slowly for that. Was he going to take off his scarf and humiliate him by saying things about his scars and teeth? Yes, that must be it; he was doing it slowly to make Katakuri more nervous or in case Katakuri reacted and wanted to break his arm.
But Katakuri wouldn’t do anything. He deserved that. Mom always did that when Katakuri did something she didn’t like or if he showed weakness in any way. And now she wasn’t here; he deserved to be humiliated and beaten for allowing this, for never being able to be the son his mother wanted. It comforted him a bit that it wasn’t any of his siblings doing this. At least with them, he still maintained the image of the strong brother.
But instead of feeling his scarf being pulled down or the sting of a slap on his cheek, he only felt a thumb gently passing over his face, wiping away a fallen tear. When did that tear come out? Damn it, now he looked even more pathetic. Wait, did Rosinante just wipe away his lost tear? Why? Why would he bother doing that? Getting his hands dirty with the tears of a pathetic, weak man.
Katakuri let out a growl and swatted Rosinante's hand away from his face. "What do you think you’re doing? I asked you what you're doing here." He couldn’t help it; he wasn’t used to that kind of treatment. What was he doing?
Rosinante’s gaze, instead of becoming angry or hardening, only softened. Seriously, what the hell was up with his husband?
"I couldn't find you; no one knew where you were, so I started searching the whole island... I figured you would be here since it's lonely and somewhat... isolated from everyone." Instead of having a harsh tone, his voice was... gentle, much more than usual.
Katakuri looked at him with narrowed eyes, then closed them again, letting out a deep sigh.
"You found me... What do you want?" Katakuri tried to appear as he always did, of course, ignoring the disaster around him.
Silence filled the space again, both men standing still, Katakuri with his eyes closed, not looking at him or anything else, even though he felt the other’s gaze on him.
He heard a sigh, and then hands grabbed his arm, pulling him. Katakuri opened his eyes again.
"What...?"
"Follow me, and don’t ask, just follow me." Rosinante's tone made it clear that he wouldn’t accept a "no" as an answer.
And even though Katakuri didn’t feel like following him, something in his instinct told him to do it. Maybe Rosinante didn’t want to humiliate him in front of the trees, which were still watching the scene somewhat frightened; perhaps he wanted to do it in private, where no one would bother them.
Rosinante was walking in a specific direction, and Katakuri didn’t know where they were heading, but they were getting deeper and deeper into the woods. He didn’t use his Haki to sense it; he only used it to know when the blonde would trip, catching him before he fell to the ground, receiving a thank you from Rosi while his face turned a bit red from embarrassment.
Unlike the previous silences, this one was... peaceful; only the sounds of nature and their footsteps could be heard. It was very relaxing, to be honest. Fatigue finally hit him after using all his energy in his earlier outburst. He hoped this would end soon so he could rest a bit and eat some donuts alone.
"We've arrived."
Ah, lost in his thoughts again; he was undoubtedly a lost cause now. They should just kill him.
Katakuri finally focused on his surroundings and was somewhat surprised by where they had been taken.
They were on a cliff or some sort of mountain, but the place was high enough to see almost the entire island. The sky was painted with the beautiful colors of the sunset happening right now, and the songs of the few birds flying by could be heard, along with the sound of the wind rustling the leaves. There were also giant cakes glimmering in the sunlight, although this seemed to be the only solid mountain because he had never seen one that wasn’t made of cake. It was undoubtedly a beautiful view.
"Silent."
The sound of a snap was the last thing he heard before a blue bubble surrounded them both. Now there was only silence; he could no longer hear the birds or the wind, only the sound of his breath and Rosi’s.
Rosinante had used his Devil Fruit.
"What are we doing here? Why did you silence us?" He directed his gaze at the blonde next to him.
How foolish; he probably did it so he could yell at him without anyone hearing. He brought him here to distract him; now he would shout at him, humiliate him while having the whole island in view, showing him one of the places he couldn’t protect.
Well, whatever it was, he was ready; he just hoped it would be quick and—
"I brought you here so you can truly let it all out."
What did he just say?
Katakuri only had to give him a look of confusion for Rosinante to know he didn’t understand what he meant by that. Rosinante let out a sigh and looked at him with those same gentle eyes.
"Katakuri, I may be the last person you trust... we were practically forced to get to know each other, but I can't ignore your grief..."
Katakuri furrowed his brow.
"Grief? What are you talking about? I'm not in any gr—" He was interrupted by Rosi.
"I know you’re grieving. We may not know each other well, but I can tell you’re... hiding your emotions like you always do." The blonde averted his gaze while crossing his arms.
It was no secret that after the wedding, Katakuri continued as always, showing no emotion or feeling towards the marriage. But he didn’t treat Rosi badly either; Katakuri knew it wasn’t his fault. He still respected him and didn’t ignore him much, it’s just that communication wasn’t his strong suit. He even felt a bit sorry for Rosinante for being forced to marry him, keeping his distance so that Rosi would feel comfortable... and wouldn’t know his weaknesses, just in case.
"I still don’t understand what you’re talking about. You said it yourself, I’m fine."
"It’s not healthy for you to do that." This time, Rosinante looked at him, and this time there was a certain... determination in his gaze.
Healthy? Why is Rosinante saying that? Is he really worried about him? No, it can’t be. Katakuri hasn’t given Rosi any reason to worry about him; instead of being husband and husband, they seemed like strangers living in the same house. Why would he care about him?
"What…?"
"Even if we don’t know each other well, I still have eyes, you know? I’ve seen how you hide your emotions, angry, happy... sad. No matter how you feel, you always conceal it."
Of course, his husband wasn’t an idiot... well, not a complete one, but he was right. Rosi still had eyes; Katakuri just hadn’t bothered to try harder to hide it because he assumed Rosinante wouldn’t care. Apparently, he was wrong.
"And I know we don’t have the trust to talk about it... hell, we both know you probably won’t confirm that I’m right..." He let out a sigh. "But... I understand the pain you’re hiding right now."
Has Katakuri become so pathetic that he’s easy to read now?
"I don’t know what you’re talking about..." he said, diverting his gaze, trying to regain some dignity by acting like an idiot.
"I also lost my mother."
Those words made Katakuri’s eyes widen, and he turned to look at the blonde, who was gazing at the sky with a nostalgic expression.
Well, during their time of marriage, since Katakuri practically avoided Rosinante, it was obvious that they never talked about their lives. Katakuri admitted that he never cared to ask about Rosi's parents; he had only met his brother-in-law and felt that was enough. And it’s not like Rosi ever mentioned his parents; he never did and never tried to start that conversation, which made Katakuri think it was unnecessary. But it never crossed his mind that his parents...
Oh.
Maybe Katakuri had been a bit... unfair to Rosinante.
Since Katakuri said nothing, Rosinante continued speaking.
"I was very young; I was eight years old when I lost her to an illness... her weak body couldn't take it and she passed away."
Illness. It couldn’t have been any other way. She must have died in a horrible manner.
"Illness? Don’t celestial dragons have the best doctors and medicines?" It might have sounded cruel, but what he said was true; he had never heard of a Tenryuubito dying from an illness.
Rosinante shrugged, bending down to sit while still gazing at the sunset, hugging his long legs against his chest.
"It's a long story."
Katakuri wasn’t sure if he was in the mood for a long story, but he had to admit that he needed a distraction. Rosinante brought him to a secluded place to find peace; he thought of him despite how Katakuri treated him. The least he could do was listen.
In silence, he moved closer to Rosinante and sat down, looking at the horizon. He let out a sound of approval, trying to signal to the blonde that he was listening.
There, Rosinante began to share everything, the "little" details that Doflamingo hadn’t told their mother before agreeing to the marriage, about how their father, Donquixote, decided to abandon the title of Celestial Dragon because he thought living among the lower class was more comfortable. How, upon discovering their bloodline, people immediately came to hunt them down, forcing them to live in garbage and be mistreated. How their mother passed away because her body couldn’t withstand a simple illness, how the villagers found them and almost burned them alive if it weren't for Doflamingo managing to activate his Haki out of the rage he felt... how Doflamingo killed their father and cut off his head, believing that this would allow him and Rosinante to return to Mariejoa... how Doflamingo left Rosinante because he couldn’t recover quickly from the shock after witnessing how his father was shot in the head by Doflamingo...
Rosinante only got that far; he didn’t say more, didn’t share how he survived after being left alone or how and when he reunited with Doflamingo, but it didn’t matter. Katakuri knew that Rosi had shared enough, and he even believed that Rosinante had revealed too much given how little trust they had.
But Katakuri listened attentively, not making a single comment during that time nor diverting his attention; all of it was focused on Rosinante.
When Rosinante stopped speaking, silence filled the air, not even the slightest noise thanks to Rosinante's ability. Katakuri analyzed the whole situation, unsure of what to do or say. Should he say something? Do something? Damn, it was always bad for times like this
Silence settled between them after Rosinante finished speaking. Katakuri felt a knot in his throat, but instead of looking away, he kept his gaze fixed on the blond.
"I'm sorry," Katakuri finally murmured, his words coming out softer than he had anticipated. "I didn't know you went through that."
Rosinante looked at him, and in his eyes, there was a glimmer of surprise, as if he hadn’t expected to hear those words. "You don’t have to apologize. It’s not your fault. But sometimes it’s easier to carry the pain in silence, don’t you think?"
Katakuri remained silent; he had always done that, hiding his emotions. It was always easier than saying them out loud. Talking about them would only make him look pathetic. He had always felt that he shouldn't feel anything at all.
"Why are you telling me...?" He couldn't even finish the sentence, feeling so emotionally confused, unsure of what to say.
"I don't want to compare pains, Katakuri. Our mothers were different; your mother... well, she was a pirate, and maybe she wasn’t the kindest person in the world... but she’s still your mother and your brothers’. I want to tell you that I understand the pain of losing a mother. And even if I’m not the person who knows you best or that you trust, I want you to know that with me, there's no need to pretend that it doesn’t affect you. You don’t have to act serious and emotionless with me... with me, you can show any emotion... I won’t judge you."
Rosinante gave him the gentlest smile Katakuri had ever received in his long life. Why? Why was Rosinante being so kind to him? Katakuri had been an idiot with him, and yet here he was, saying that Katakuri could show his most vulnerable side with him, that he understood. Instead of getting angry or disappointed in Katakuri for being weak, he was offering him a trust that Katakuri hadn't even had with his brothers. After all, his brothers deserved to be protected and not listen to their pathetic brother's problems. But Rosinante seemed to be... different from anyone else Katakuri had ever met in his life.
Katakuri let out a sigh. Damn it, he had nothing left to lose now, right?
"I'm not like that because of that..." He felt his body tremble again but tried to control it. He hated to admit it, but talking about this was so difficult for him; nothing had ever been as complicated as this.
Damn, even kissing Rosinante at the altar had been easier than this.
"What do you mean? Aren't you... sad about your mother? You can tell me anything, Katakuri. I'm here to listen to whatever you need," Rosinante's confused but gentle gaze motivated him to continue.
"That's the thing, Rosi... I'm not... I'm not sad about what happened to Mom..."
There it was, he finally said it. Damn it, that was so hard to admit. Those words felt like stones on his shoulders, but saying them out loud... to someone... felt... good. He felt a small relief in finally being able to confess the truth to someone who might not judge him.
"You're not? Oh..." Well, Rosinante might understand; Linlin hadn't been the best mother, to tell the truth. "Then... what’s going on? Whatever it is, I'm here to listen."
What good deed had his husband done to be this understanding? Damn, he definitely needed to make up for lost months later.
Katakuri clenched his trembling fists, daring to look at Rosinante and finally finding his voice to speak, to tell the truth.
"Can... can I... tell you the truth? Without you judging me?" He tried to sound serious, threatening even, but he couldn’t; his voice came out low, small, like a little kid about to confess a mischief.
Rosinante took one of his hands in his, gently stroking the trembling fist and squeezing it between his hands. Then he lifted his gaze to Katakuri and smiled at him.
"I promise, I'll listen to you, Katakuri. Feel comfortable."
Thank any God up there for sending him this man.
"I... that’s the thing... for some strange reason... I don’t feel sad about Mom's defeat... not even angry or wishing for revenge..." He closed his eyes tightly, his head starting to ache from the force he was using, but Rosinante's gentle touch on his hand calmed him, and he slowly relaxed, keeping his eyelids shut.
"I feel... calm, you know? I feel like a weight I’ve carried for years has finally fallen off my back... I feel at peace." He opened his eyes and looked at Rosinante. "Isn't it funny? Heh... ever since I was born, I tried to be Mom’s pride, doing what she wanted even when I didn’t want to. She never truly cared about me or my brothers... even when she said she loved me or was proud of me... it felt... so empty..."
Rosinante nodded, listening intently and trying to find the right words for Katakuri's confession. Honestly, it didn’t surprise him much; ever since he arrived, he knew that Linlin wasn’t the best mother. He was a little surprised by the loyalty her children had for her, but he also understood. He knew perfectly well what it felt like to be psychologically abused by a family member who was supposed to love and protect you but instead used you for their own benefit, making all their acts of love feel like a lie.
"So that's why you came here to vent, right? You felt... like a traitor because instead of being angry or sad, you felt... liberated. You were so angry at yourself that you came here... alone."
He sensed the fear in Rosinante's voice, and Katakuri shook his head, knowing what the blonde might be thinking.
"I didn't come to... do that, if that's what worries you..." Katakuri ran a hand through his hair, unsure how to respond to those words. It felt strange to tell someone out loud not to worry about him.
"Who knows... the mind can be very treacherous sometimes..."
They both sat in silence, looking at each other. Katakuri had never had such thoughts... or so he believed. He mostly cared about not dying because he knew that if he did, no one would protect his family. But what if they weren’t around? Would he still value his life? He didn’t even know if he valued it because he often threw himself into fights without considering how strong the enemy could be. He only fought against those who posed a threat to his family.
But... what about him? Maybe in his youth, he defended himself and valued his own worth, only hitting those who mocked him. But he stopped when he saw the consequences that followed for his siblings.
He continued to blame himself for the scar that adorned Brulee's face. Even though he had avenged her, perhaps it could have been avoided if he hadn’t hit those guys... if he hadn’t existed at all...
Since those years, he stopped caring about himself, stopped thinking about his own benefits. He dedicated himself to his family, to his siblings, to his mother, to obeying Mom's orders, to his mother's happiness... to be the perfect son that she wanted. Was that what he truly wanted?
He was practically a dead man walking, wasn’t he?
But Rosinante was right; he came here because he was angry with himself. It frustrated him that he had those thoughts. He wasn’t angry about what happened to his mother. What bothered him was that instead of feeling sadness or pain over her death, he felt... relief, as if a weight he had carried since he was very young, when he was just a child, had finally been lifted from him... as if he had finally been freed from chains that had bound him.
He felt Rosinante's gaze upon him, but he didn’t dare to look back. Even though he knew Rosi wouldn’t judge him, he still felt that he hadn’t fully vented... even after hitting and discussing the topic, he still felt something inside him... perhaps he should hit something again.
Before he could say anything or look at Rosinante, the blonde stood up, brushing off his pants with his hands, then extended a hand to help him up.
Katakuri, somewhat confused, hesitated but eventually accepted Rosinante's help to stand up, even though it was more like he was the one helping Rosi, who almost fell due to Katakuri's weight.
Then, Rosinante moved closer to the edge. Katakuri opened his eyes and, fearing that Rosi might fall, stepped closer as well, sensing that Rosi wanted him to approach the cliff's edge with him.
They were just a few steps from the edge—nothing dangerous... he hoped. Rosinante gazed up at the sky, a breeze ruffling his fluffy blonde hair. He looked lovely, but Katakuri pushed those thoughts aside. Rosi lifted his fingers and snapped, dissolving their bubble of silence, allowing the sounds of nature to return.
Katakuri was about to ask what he was going to do when a deep inhalation stopped him, leaving him confused as he stared at Rosinante.
Then, Rosinante let out a shout—one so loud that it genuinely surprised Katakuri, causing several birds to take flight in panic.
Katakuri watched as Rosinante kept his eyes closed, his hands clenched into fists while he continued shouting until he lost his voice. His body trembled, and Katakuri would dare to say that Rosi was struggling not to shed tears.
It wasn't a short scream, but it wasn't long either; it was enough to release a weight he had been carrying, perhaps letting out the pain of losing his parents, the fact that his brother had abandoned him, and later gave him away to a marriage as if he were an animal.
Oh, perhaps the pain of not being able to save his brother from becoming a monster, and that he would try to kill him, still holding onto a glimmer of hope that Doflamingo wouldn’t want to kill him despite his betrayal, even after learning that he was a Marine. The pain of having to lie to two very important people in his life. Lying to Doflamingo to be accepted into his family also to the child he grew to care for, despite having only spent a few months with him, lying to Law because he knew the boy wouldn’t let him stay with his brother.
The pain of being forced to abandon or lie to those he loved so they wouldn’t be hurt anymore.
The pain of sometimes sacrificing his own freedom so that his loved ones could be free.
Rosinante finally stopped screaming, now inhaling and exhaling, recovering his breath. His voice was surely hoarse, but he didn’t seem to care. He had unshed tears in his eyes, which he wiped away with his hands while directing his gaze to Katakuri. Despite everything, Rosinante still wore that same gentle smile that conveyed trust.
“Go ahead, give it a try,” he said, his voice rough from the strain on his vocal cords.
Without saying more, he took a few steps back, giving Katakuri his space while smiling at him.
Katakuri looked at him, confused. Did he really expect him to do that?
It was… foolish, without a doubt. It was impossible that someone on the island hadn’t heard that scream; it would only take minutes for someone to come and see what was happening here.
He looked down, battling within his mind. It was a huge oversight; Rosi could practically sneak up behind him and push him. And although Katakuri could transform into mochi or survive the fall effortlessly... he wouldn’t mind if the opposite happened.
He shook his head and let out a sigh. Did he really want to do this? Well, what else did he have to lose? Grateful that Rosi was behind him, he slowly grabbed his scarf and lowered it, allowing the cool air to finally touch his mouth and the scars he always hid from the world. But for some reason, he felt that with Rosinante, he could show them without fear.
Just like Rosinante, he first closed his eyes and then inhaled deeply, and suddenly, he let out a scream.