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“There you are. I’ve been looking for you.”
Karamatsu doesn't react, as he continues wiping down the decanters on the shelf. Todomatsu frowns. Seems like Karamatsu is still at it.
Todomatsu can’t exactly pinpoint when it started, but Karamatsu started going from brash and bright to reclusive and evasive, moving across the base like a ghost. Todomatsu hasn’t even managed to catch a glimpse of his brother for a week, and even now, he’s still not willing to look at him. Todomatsu’s mouth thins out into a grimace. Had he done something wrong? He already said sorry a few thousand times about accidentally shooting Karamatsu when he panicked, but that was months ago when they were all rookies...he can’t still be upset about that, can he?
Still, he takes a seat at the bar, determined to talk to him. Or at the very least, get his attention.
“Hey, can I get some service around here?” Todomatsu calls out, slamming a hand on the bar counter, and he smirks, remembering the hell all six of them used to give Chibita when he wasn’t serving them fast enough. Karamatsu doesn’t even turn to look at him.
Todomatsu crosses his arms. Well, fine. He’ll wait as long as he has to. Karamatsu can’t ignore him forever.
He reaches over and pops open the mini-fridge behind the bar, helping himself to a bottle of beer. He steels himself, before taking a swig, face screwed up in regret immediately afterwards. It tastes horrible, but he supposes he’ll need it if he’s going to have to wait for Karamatsu to look at him.
But brother-watching gets to be tedious, and he looks away for a second as a pair of scientists walked by, talking about their latest autopsy, before he hears a loud WHUMP and Todomatsu whips around, only to find his brother...gone?
“Karamatsu!” he calls out, and he hears a pained groan. Standing up, he peers over into the bar, and finds Karamatsu crumpled up, gingerly holding his head.
“Nii-san!”
Karamatsu looks up, and brightens visibly, though his smile is still pained. “Oh, hey, Totty, hi, didn't see you there. C-can I get you anything?”
Todomatsu blanches, as he stares at his brother. He looks like...shit. There was no other word for it. Bloodshot eyes, deep eyebags, gaunt expression-- Karamatsu didn’t look too far off from a zombie at this point.
“Nii-san, what happened?” Todomatsu asks, getting off of his chair and quickly moving behind the bar, “Are you ok? Do you need me to take you to the AWC?”
Karamatsu shakes his head, backing up with his hands in front of him. “It’s, it’s fine, Todomatsu. I just have to man the bar for the next two hours, then someone will take over for me…”
Todomatsu gapes at him. “Who cares if the bar is manned or not! You just fell over, and you look like you’re about to keel over any minute now.”
Karamatsu chuckles, and Todomatsu resists the urge to throw something at his stupid, stupid head. “Never one to pull punches, huh Todomatsu?”
“I wouldn’t have to throw any in the first place if you took care of yourself. When was the last time you slept?”
“Um...hold on...I can...I can work this out…” Karamatsu says slowly, as if in a daze.
Todomatsu doesn’t even bother waiting for an answer, as he tugs on Karamatsu’s hand, pulling him out of the bar and towards the nearest sofa, setting him down on the well-worn seat.
“W-wait, I can’t, I promised Shen I’d help her in the proving grounds after this shift…”
“Well, tough shit,” Todomatsu snaps, as he kneels by the sofa, stuffing a pillow underneath Karamatsu’s head. “You’re not going anywhere for awhile.”
“But after that I need to go check on the armory, and train that new rookie, and…”
“Well considered those canceled as well.” The intense frown sent his way makes Todomatsu sigh, and he relents. “I’ll go do those in your stead then.”
Karamatsu shakes his head, though he aborts the motion as the pain pierces through his skull once more. “No, it’s fine, it’s fine, you don’t have to--it’s my responsibility to….”
Todomatsu frowns. And there he goes again, on and on about responsibility this and responsibility that. Karamatsu appointed himself as the squad’s medic, which in retrospect was the worst thing they could have allowed him to do. He took every injury that any of them take as his personal failing. Worse was his reckless predilection to often forgo reason if he sees any of them hurt, darting out of cover and into the line of fire just to get in range to patch them up. It was nothing short of a miracle that he hasn’t gotten himself killed yet.
“It’s also your responsibility to keep yourself in tip-top shape. You’re a soldier, first and foremost. You can’t run yourself ragged doing all these jobs. The Commander can’t send you out like this, and you know it.”
Karamatsu stays silent, and Todomatsu gently pats him on his arm. Karamatsu however, gets a glimpse at Todomatsu’s hand, and he pulls it towards his face, scrutinizing it.
“Sorry, not much lotion around here, my hands are a mess,” Todomatsu jokes, but there are rough calluses, barely fading scars, third degree burns all over both of them. A far cry from what they were like before the war, but he couldn’t do much about them now.
But Karamatsu rubs a thumb along his palm softly, gently. “I’ve always liked your hands, Totty.”
Totty. He hasn’t been called that name in years, and his heart pangs at the realization. He curls his hand to cover Karamatsu’s, and they stay like that, as Todomatsu watches as Karamatsu’s eyes slowly drift close, and his breathing slows into a steady rhythm.
Todomatsu moves into a sitting position, and he leans his head against the sofa seat, occasionally skirting his thumb along Karamatsu’s knuckles, and is about to let himself drift off as well, before Karamatsu speaks up.
“I’m afraid. I’m really, really afraid, Todomatsu.” Karamatsu confesses, his voice almost a whisper.
“Nii-san…”
“I’m so afraid of losing any of you. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, all I can see are your corpses, all I can think of what I’d say at your funerals, all I--”
Todomatsu says nothing, but takes Karamatsu's other hand as well, squeezing them together as if in prayer. He’s had the same thoughts, from time to time, but never admitted it out loud. As if he could keep ignoring it, it might not come true.
“You’re doing just fine, Karamatsu nii-san. We’re all alive, thanks to you. We’ll...we’ll...” Todomatsu wants to say it. Wants to promise him that they’ll all survive, but it’s not one that he can keep. It’s not one any of them can keep.
But Karamatsu seems to understand, and brings their joined hands up to his lips, kissing Todomatsu's fingers gently in silent thanks, before pulling away.
They stay like this for a minute, until Todomatsu feels embarrassed, his heart beating rapidly, cheeks flushing as he untangle their hands. He doesn't want to think about this. At least, not at the moment.
“S-sorry about that, I…” Karamatsu stutters.
“No. Don’t be sorry. It’s….it’s nothing to worry about. You should sleep now, I’ll be here, don’t worry.”
“You don’t…”
“Sure, I don’t have to, but I want to, nii-san.” Todomatsu says, as he takes his seat next to the sofa once more. “I want to be here with you.”
Todomatsu is ready to be rebuffed, but Karamatsu merely smiles.
“I’d love nothing better.”