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“ AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!! ”
Uzi’s cries echoed throughout the corpse spire followed by a loud thud! The nose woke both N and V, who had been napping.
“ Ughhh!! I give up, I’m never going to get this down!!” The small Worker Drone shouted from the ground. Honestly, the girl had one strong voice box.
“You good, Uz?” N called out, unhooking his tail from the Worker Drone arm he had wrapped it around at the top of the spire and flying down.
“Shut up! I’m trying to sleep!!” V yelled at Uzi, still hanging in a bat-like position as she aggressively wrapped her wings around herself. Basically slamming her bedroom door but in a different font.
“Do I look good to you?” Uzi hissed when N landed beside her. The left part of her visor was shattered and some oil was leaking down her head. Luckily, thanks to the solver, the wound was already healing, “And shut up! I hope you have a nightmare!!” She shouted back at V.
“Jokes on you, freak, I love nightmares!!” V retaliated, her voice far and echoey from the top of the spire.
“I think she’s picking up some speech patterns from Lizzy,” N idly commented.
“N, not helping, ” Uzi grumbled, her screen glitching a little as vision was finally restored to her left eye.
It had been about a week since they returned from camp 98.7 and Uzi gained some cool new! (sarcasm.) abilities thanks to the absolute solver. Uzi, shaken from having lost control and still trying to figure out how to control herself, was too scared to return to the colony. So, N suggested she take a vacation and spend some time at the spire with him and V— where they could help her learn how to manage everything.
First, they tried teaching her how to hunt, but intentionally going after live Works Drones made Uzi uneasy, so N instead hunted for her.
Then, N helped her body get used to oil consumption as in the beginning all she would do was throw it back up. (He did this by easing it into her system— switching between eating batteries and drinking small amounts of oil. He explained it’s how dogs are switched to new foods as their digestive system can’t handle a sudden change. Uzi hated that it actually worked.)
After that, they tackled tail control because the thing had a damn mind of its own. (Not that Uzi was entirely against this 24/7, because most of the time it tried biting V and that was funny (except for when V bit back.))
Now, they were trying to handle Uzi’s wings, which surprisingly, were the most difficult to deal with.
She didn’t have a problem with them at first, but then they suddenly started sprouting out of her back randomly whenever she tried to relax (ex. when she tried sleeping). No matter how many times she called them back in, they always popped back out and it made sleeping damn near impossible.
That’s when N suggested she try sleeping like he and V do; hanging upside down like a bat with their wings wrapped around them. It seemed like the perfect solution— if her wings were always going to pop out when she tried to sleep, then sleeping like that would at least allow her to be comfortable.
Unnnntil they realized Uzi’s tail always goes lax when she falls asleep and she ends up just tumbling to the ground. Third time this week. Hurt like a bitch.
“We could try tying it into a knot!” N suggested.
Uzi shuddered at the idea, “Did you forget that I would be able to feel that? No thanks.”
Uzi had tied V’s tail into a bow once as a ‘prank’ and V shrieked and cut her fucking tail off in response. Uzi actually felt bad for doing that and gave V her meal that night.
N snapped his fingers, “Shoot, I forgot about that.”
“Literally how. ”
“No idea.”
“We could try pinning her wings to the wall!” V’s faint voice called from above.
Uzi pointed up at her accusatory, “ You’re supposed to be sleeping!!”
“Well, it’s a little hard when two certain smooth-brained idiots are being loud as hell!”
“We don’t even have brains like that!”
“It’s an expression, dumbass!”
“I’m going to fly up there and knock her down,” Uzi mumbled so only N could hear and the Disassembly Drone’s eyes widened.
“Okay, now let’s not do that—”
Uzi was already in the air before he could finish his sentence.
N smiled like nothing was wrong and turned around, ignoring the screaming and loud noises behind him.
“I’m going to go hunting and get more oil!” He declared happily to himself, figuring both girls were going to need a lot of oil replenishment after the fight they were about to get into.
———
“What if you try cocooning yourself?” N suggested as he, Uzi, and V all sat around outside the landing pod, drinking the oil N had brought back.
V, who sat on the hood of a car, spat a bit of oil onto Uzi and the girl hissed, throwing the Worker Drone arm she held at V. V easily deflected it with her wing.
“Did you even hear what I said?” N sweat dropped.
“Did you not see her just spit on me!?” Uzi retaliated, a look of disgust on her face. Meanwhile, V looked both amused and pleased.
“I even made sure to hold it in for a bit so it wouldn’t be cold~” V purred and Uzi gagged.
“You are the worst. Literally the worst. I hate you so much. I’m going to throw up.”
“I think someone’s a bit cranky,” V teased.
“You try falling 100 feet from the air every night and see how well you sleep!!”
“I don’t have that problem, loser.”
“N, please, I’m begging you to let me kill her.”
“No, no, no one is killing anyone!” N scolded both girls, setting down the limb he’d been snacking on, “Uz, why don’t we go get you cleaned up in the landing pod?”
“Yeah, you stink,” V made a face and waved her hand in front of her face.
“Probably because your breath stinks and you spit on me!!” Uzi growled.
“V quit antagonizing her,” N frowned.
V huffed and crossed her arms, “You always take her side.”
“I mean… you did spit on her…”
“And I’ll spit on you too.”
“Then you’ll make us all stink with your smelly breath!” Uzi hissed.
“Uz. Not helping.”
“Quit trying to be a mediator, N. You suck at it,” V commented.
“No, you both are just mean!” N countered. V stuck her tongue out mockingly at N and he returned the gesture, even blowing a raspberry just to be annoying. It seemed to work, as an angry tick appeared on V’s visor. Uzi noticed with interest that both their tongues were lighter than Worker Drone’s– or, at least, the middle of their tongue was…
Hold on… She narrowed her eyes, leaning in closer to N to get a better look at his tongue. She focused on it and her visor highlighted the rough-looking texture covering his tongue. She only got a second to look, however, before N retracted his tongue.
“Staring at someone’s tongue is weird, Doorman,” V mused and it was then that Uzi noticed N was staring at her – who was leaning in way too close – with confusion.
“ I wasn’t staring!! ” Uzi cried, jerking away from N like he’d burned her.
“You were definitely staring,” V grinned maliciously, “You got something you wanna say? Hm? Something you wanna do~? ”
Uzi’s visor lit ablaze with a bright blush, “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?”
“Nothing. I just find your reaction funny as hell.”
“Die!!” Uzi growled, grabbing N’s hat and throwing it at V.
“Ah! My hat!!” N whined as V deflated it with her wing and flung it across the spire.
“Your insults are lacking, little girl,” V mocked Uzi.
Uzi glared at her, ignoring N who had run off to go retrieve his hat, “I’m not a little girl. I bet I’m probably older than you!”
V shrugged, “Could’ve fooled me.”
“I hope you die a lonely, miserable death.”
“That is a very mean thing to say, Doorman.”
“Says you!?”
Before V could respond, Uzi was suddenly lifted into the air.
“ Huh– N!? Put me down!!” She hissed, squirming in N’s hold.
“Awww, look at you! Like a cute little kitten,” V cooed.
“Uz, why don’t we go get you cleaned up in the landing pod?” N suggested, holding Uzi by the back of her hoodie.
N’s words reminded Uzi that she was covered in V’s spit and she shuddered in disgust, “Yeah. Let’s do that.”
“Toodaloo~” V waved as N walked off, still carrying Uzi.
“I hope you die while we’re gone!” Uzi called back.
“She doesn’t mean that!!” N countered.
The inside of the landing pod looked very different from how it had before… When Uzi started staying with N and V, she decided to turn the pod into her room since the other two spent the majority of their time outside. She didn’t change much– just decorated the inside with purple fairy lights, tapped all the drawings she and N had done along the walls, drew a skull on the mirror with paint markers, and made herself a makeshift bed that consisted of various pillows, blankets, and plushie all stacked together in one big organized pile. N referred to it as a ‘nest’ which Uzi thought was weird but supposed he wasn’t wrong. It did sort of look like one.
It was this makeshift bed/nest that N dropped Uzi onto.
“Now, surely we have a rag or something somewhere…” He murmured to himself, walking around the landing pod in search of one.
Uzi sighed heavily, “We don’t. I tried looking for one the other day.”
“Oh…” N frowned, getting up from where he’d bent down to look under the main console.
Uzi groaned loudly, “ Ughhhh! We’re gonna have to, like, go find a freaking pond or something!!”
“All the ponds are frozen, Uz.”
“I’m going to kill myself.”
“No, no, no– don’t do that–” N sweat dropped, sitting down beside Uzi, “Maybe you can make a quick trip back to the colony…?”
“I’d rather die,” Uzi grumbled.
“Well… It’s either that or you live in V’s spit forever.”
Uzi groaned again, flopping back onto her back dramatically.
N watched Uzi, a frown on his face. He wanted to help but he wasn’t sure what to do…
“Oh!” An idea suddenly popped into his head, “I could clean you!”
“ Hah?? ” Uzi made a face, “What the actual hell does that mean?”
N stuck his tongue and practically shoved his face into Uzi’s, “‘Ook!”
Uzi recoiled away in minor disgust, “Woah, dude! Put that thing away!”
“No! ‘Ook” N insisted, pointing at his tongue.
“What??” Uzi questioned, looking at N’s tongue. She noticed the rough texture again but was still confused, “Okay, and? You got a weird tongue, dude.”
N pulled his tongue back in and smiled, “I could groom you!”
“ Huh!? ” Uzi exasperated, “Like, a frickin’ cat or something!?”
“Is that what cats do?” N tilted his head.
“If you mean by licking themselves as a method of bathing, then yeah!”
“Yeah! That’s what I mean!” N nodded egearly.
“Dude, gross!!” Uzi gagged, “The problem is V spit on me. You think you applying more spit is gonna help??”
“No, V didn’t just spit on you, she spit oil on you,” N corrected.
“Your point?” Uzi deadpanned.
“I can clean it off!”
“I’m not letting you lick me!”
“What’s wrong with it?” N challenged, crossing his arms.
“Like, everything? I don’t know!” Uzi stressed, “There’s no way you licking me is a form of proper cleaning!”
“But it is!”
“Explain how then,” Uzi demanded and N was far too happy to obligate.
“Our saliva has several uses, not just neutralizing nanites,” He explained, “Another use is its cleanliness! It’s good at breaking down bacteria and our tongues are designed to easily pick up dirt and stuff when grooming!”
“Huh…” Uzi blinked, “So… Disassembly Drones groom themselves… Huh.”
So that explained the weird texture on their tongues. She realized. They sleep like bats, are nocturnal, akin to vampires, hunt, have nests, play fight, and groom themselves. I feel like I should stop trying to figure out what species they’re most like and just accept that they are their own thing.
“Also, it’s either my spit or V’s,” N told her, shrugging, “Your choice.”
“Okay, well when you put it that way…” Uzi grumbled, hating that she was legitimately considering this, “… Ughhh, fine! But if I get a virus or something, I’m blasting your head off again!”
“You won’t! I promise!” N assured, looking determined. It made Uzi roll her eyes (fondly).
“So, like… how do we…?” She asked, unsure of what to do.
N scratched his cheek, “Uh, well… Do you trust me?”
“I guess?” Uzi raised an eyebrow, “I don’t think you’d kill me or something.”
N smiled, “Good.”
Before Uzi could question that, N laid down beside Uzi and wrapped his body around hers, causing the girl to stiffen in confusion.
“Um… What are you doing?”
“Grooming you,” N answered simply.
“Is this like, a ritual or something?”
“Yes–? No? I don’t know,” N admitted, smiling sheepishly, “I’m just doing what we usually do.”
Uzi sighed, “Alright, fine. Continue, I guess.”
She stiffened again when N licked her hair, strands of it getting caught on his tongue and putting her hair in disarray.
“I’ll fix that later,” He told her before she could complain and she merely huffed, deciding to just shut up and let him do his thing.
It was weird at first– N licking her. Why wouldn’t it be? Uzi tried imagining herself as a kitten whose mother was cleaning her to try and make it less odd in her mind. It helped a little, honestly. The texture and sound of N’s tongue certainly helped trick her mind into believing he was a cat or something. Not to mention, he started purring at some point. The vibrations honestly felt pretty nice… His tongue also wasn’t dipping wet– only damp at best. Which was definitely preferred.
In the beginning, it didn’t feel like N was making a difference– but after a while, Uzi noticed the thick, sticky feeling of oil in her hair was starting to dissipate… It was then that she allowed herself to relax a little, starting to have faith in… whatever N was doing.
N practically cradled Uzi, hyperfocused on cleaning the oil out of Uzi’s hair and clothes. It felt sort of nice, Uzi realized… Comforting and soothing. It made her sleepy and her eyes fluttered shut. She even leaned into N, despite having been so against letting him do this. N, thankfully, didn’t comment on it, only used the proximity to better groom her.
After a while, all of the oil was gone and N focused on fixing Uzi’s hair– making it nice and neat. Uzi barely noticed this, as she was slowly falling asleep.
Of course, right as Uzi was about to slip unconscious, drifting off thanks to N’s warm and soothing licks, her wings popped out, startling both drones.
“ Ughhh, are you kidding me!?” Uzi groaned for the umpteenth time that day. N’s eyes were hollowed out and his tongue was hanging out as he was too stunned to pull it back yet.
“Try cocooning yourself,” N suddenly repeated his suggestion from earlier. Uzi looked at him weirdly.
“Huh?”
“Like this!” N said before he pulled out his wings and demonstrated what he meant. He wrapped them around himself and Uzi, trapping them in a warm and snug cocoon– hence the name.
“I guess that makes sense…” Uzi mumbled, studying the way N folded his wings and planning to mimic it.
“You try!” N encouraged, retracting his wings and standing up, leaving Uzi feeling colder than before.
Part of her wanted to ask him to stay, but the prideful, embarrassed part of her stopped herself. Instead, she focused on wrapping her wings around herself just as N had done, trying to get comfortable.
It took a bit of trial and error and a lot of shifting around, but eventually, Uzi was able to get herself comfortable. Which felt fucking awesome. She’d been dying to sleep in the makeshift bed she’d made because of how cozy it was and that, paired with the warmth her wings gave her, made her feel like she was in heaven.
Outside, N chuckled, “Comfy?”
“You have… no idea…” She mumbled, half asleep already. She felt N gently pet her wings.
“Get some sleep, okay? You deserve it,” He told her softly and if Uzi were more awake, she’d probably blush from his tone. Instead, she fell into sleep mode, the sounds of N exiting the landing pod slowly fading away…
———
It was around 3 AM when Uzi awoke.
She unfolded her wings and retracted them, sitting up to let out a big stretch. She felt good– well-rested and refreshed. Not to mention clean, which she was still surprised by.
Checking the time, Uzi realized she’d been out for several hours. She wondered if N and V were still outside and what they were doing… Pushing herself up, she decided to go find out.
Climbing out of the landing pod, Uzi found that the two Disassemblers were still there. In fact, they were still right outside the landing pod– playing something akin to Jenga with Worker Drone heads.
“This is both hilarious and greatly disturbing,” she murmured, her voice raspy from sleep as she watched V try to balance a head on top of two heads, which were on top of three heads, which were on top of four heads, which were on top of the base of five heads. She’s honestly surprised they got that far.
Unfortunately…
“Uz!!” N exclaimed loudly when he noticed her, startling V and causing the tower to crumble
“ N!! ” She hissed, grabbing one of the loose heads and reeling her arm back.
N’s eyes hollowed out and he held up his arms in defense, “Wait—!” He wasn’t able to get a sentence out before he was knocked back by the flying head.
Uzi snickered and pulled herself out of the landing pod, hopping down and walking over to the two,
“I knew you guys got bored sometimes but I didn’t know it was this bad,” She mused, watching V collect the heads.
“We watched every movie and show available on Netfl—” V started before N cut her off.
“No, we didn’t,” He corrected from his puddle on the floor.
“We are not watching My Little Pony,” V hissed and N threw his hands up dramatically.
“It has nine seasons, thousands of movies, and a seven out of ten rating! Think of all the time we could pass!!” He argued.
“Shut up and die!” V threw another head at N and the male Disassembly Drone narrowly rolled out of the way.
Uzi snorted at their banter and N glared (playfully) at her in betrayal.
“You’re a bad friend,” He mumbled in a pout.
Uzi rolled her eyes, “Forgive me for finding y’all’s comedy show funny.”
“ Y’all? ” V mocked in a thick, southern accent, “Where’s your cowboy hat?”
“You have a cowboy hat!?” N questioned.
“ No, I don’t. V is just being an ass,” Uzi said, glaring at V who merely smirked.
“Darn! Cowboys are cool,” N sighed.
“I remember when you dressed up like one,” V mused.
“ No, you don’t!! ”
“Oh, I have to see that. Do you have pictures?” Uzi grinned, leaning towards V.
“No, no, no!!” N cried, hopping up and shoving V’s face away from Uzi. Said Disassembly Drone was greatly displeased by this and hissed, bitting N’s hand in a blind fury… There was barely a reaction, however, which caused her tail to flick irritably behind her.
Uzi’s eyes shined with amusement the more N freaked out, “What’s wrong, N? I thought cowboys were cool!” She cooed.
“Yeah?” N challenged, shaking his hand to try and get V to let go, “Then how about we look at your first cosplay photo of Death The Kid from Soul Eater?”
“You know what!? I don’t really care about that cowboy image!! Hahaha!! Cowboys are lame anyway!!” Uzi laughed loudly, a sweat drop on her visor. N smiled in triumph before V shook her head so aggressively N’s hand popped off his wrist.
“Oi! Give me back my hand!!” He cried, chasing after V who immediately ran off with his hand. Uzi shouted ‘karma!’ to N with glee as she laughed, watching the two Disassmeblers play tug of war with N’s hand.
It took about fifteen minutes before N was finally able to retrieve his hand.