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The pair of golden earrings he always wore, were one of the few belongings he actually cared about and protected, keeping them clean and polished, wearing them with pride. He did not wear any other adornments on his person. Not even the armor he always used was treated with that same level of care.
In truth, that pair of golden earrings was the only thing he had left of Yin Yu, a memento that kept him company during the years they spent separated, the only proof he had that, once, Yin Yu did not hate him, and even appreciated him enough to give him something so beautiful and special.
Even if everyone else in the Upper Court still seemed to think that Yin Yu was some kind of monster, every time he looked at a mirror and saw those earrings, his heart felt the relief of having concrete proof that there was a time where they were close: close enough that Yin Yu, after the usual hassle of the Mid-Autumn banquet, made Quan Yizhen follow him to one of the inner gardens of his Palace, to have some peace and quiet, and give Quan Yizhen his birthday present.
To Quan Yizhen, the fact that Yin Yu brought him there to decompress after all the forced socialization and the constant overstimulation of such a big event, was an enormous relief. And his shixiong remembered his birthday! Dealing with all the stupid things related to the Middle and Upper Court was worth it, if he could have this.
“I commissioned something special to celebrate this time, now that you are my deputy,” Yin Yu said, before handing him a small gift box. “I hope you like it, Yizhen, I think this should really suit you.”
The box contained a pair of earrings: two relatively small hoops, made of solid gold, simple in appearance but, somehow, Quan Yizhen could feel that there was something else to them, that they were special, hiding something more behind their unassuming appearance.
Yin Yu knew his former shidi well enough to know that, if he had chosen earrings with hanging tassels or chains, then that would inevitably end up with Quan Yizhen sulking, his curls tangled in them, or, in the worst case, with the earrings broken or lost. It was better to have something like this: simple, useful and still elegant and worthy of being worn by his former-shidi-now-turned-deputy.
Also, their golden shine reminded Yin Yu of the warm and sunny disposition of Quan Yizhen, too. It really was an appropriate gift for him!
“I added a special spell to them,” Yin Yu explained. “It works the same way a talisman would, but instead of being written with ink, the words are engraved in them,” he took one of the earrings to show him. “That way, if you use a bit of spiritual energy, you can activate it, like this,” Yin Yu produced a small burst of energy, making the carvings shine brightly for a moment, before going back to normal. “It’s a silencing spell, since I know you tend to get overwhelmed when you need to stay somewhere that’s too noisy.” He handed him the earring back, with a gentle smile on his face.
Quan Yizhen was speechless. His shixiong was truly the only person that ever cared about that sort of thing. The only one who ever noticed them, in fact. To everyone else, Quan Yizhen was nothing more than a spoiled child, someone unreliable and impossible to understand, utterly unpleasant and complicated, someone you had to deal with, an annoying person, someone that was preferable to avoid. No one tried to make his life easier, or asked about the reasons behind his behavior. No one listened when he was feeling overwhelmed, either. No one but his shixiong.
Quan Yizhen was afraid he was going to cry, but still did his best to thank Yin Yu, even if he did not have the right words to convey how much this gift meant to him. “Thank you, shixiong.” His voice quivered a little, so full of emotion. “I’m really happy, I’m going to try them on now.”
But then, Yin Yu remembered an important detail, and stopped him before he could try the earrings. “Yizhen, you have to promise me that you’re going to be responsible and not use the spell all the time! Don’t use them to ignore other Officials!”
To be honest, he hadn’t thought of using them for that, and now it was… certainly a tempting idea. But doing that would bring problems to his shixiong, so he promptly discarded it.
“Don’t worry about it, shixiong. If I did something like that, they would make me get rid of shixiong’s gift, and I don’t want that!” He was going to treasure and protect those earrings forever. They were his most prized possession now!
“Let me help you put them on.” Yin Yu took the earrings and carefully secured them on Quan Yizhen’s earlobes.
They were beautiful in their simplicity, and that suited him well. The golden surface shined brightly, contrasting with his dark amber hair, enhancing the beauty of his bronze, sun-kissed skin, and adding a touch of elegance to Quan Yizhen’s typically wild appearance.
“They really suit you, Yizhen. Do you want to test the spell?”
It worked perfectly: as soon as he imbued them with a bit of spiritual energy, all the surrounding sounds disappeared, leaving him in pleasant silence. Another small burst of energy, and everything was normal again.
“I should’ve thought about making something like this, shixiong.” He was always much more focused on his martial arts training than on learning about the technical aspects of cultivation, like how to use talismans or drawing spiritual arrays, so it never occurred to him that he could make his life easier with a trick like this.
“Well, I’m glad you find them useful. But please, remember to use the spell only if you really need it! It’s supposed to help you, and if it gets you in trouble, I’m going to regret giving you this.”
If there was something Quan Yizhen never wanted, was disappointing Yin Yu. And he knew that he was constantly creating problems for him, even involuntarily, so he needed to be more careful. It was just that… everything in the Heavenly Court was so difficult and strange! Somehow, everything he did or didn’t do, all he said or even his silences, were constantly misinterpreted and used against him. And trying to explain himself always made everything worse.
Everyone around him seemed to expect the worse things of him. He had no one to talk to, and if he defended himself, he was harshly judged, because he was a Middle Court official. There was no way for him to win, really.
It wasn’t like that was something new to him, either.
“I promise I’m not going to use the spell during meetings, or if I’m supposed to talk to other people, shixiong. Please don’t worry about that.”
There was so much he wanted to say to Yin Yu, both to thank him and to explain, but he was unable to find the words.
Maybe if he had found them, things would’ve gone differently. Maybe he should have activated the spell during that horrible day where everything went wrong. Would that have been enough to nullify the power of the Brocade Immortal?
… There was no way to know that now, anyway.
Those earrings were still part of his routine, no matter how much time had passed since that tranquil night in the gardens of Yin Yu’s palace. He makes sure to wear them every day: it was the first thing he did every morning. He reverently took them outside the special jewelry box he commissioned to protect them —one that opened only with his own spiritual power—, and caressed them softly before putting them on.
Sometimes, he talked to them, as if they could somehow carry his voice towards wherever his shixiong was now.
He always removed them, carefully, before taking a bath or going to bed, securing them inside their box. He kept them clean, polished and in pristine condition, practically frozen in time, as beautiful and immaculate as the day he received them.
The fact that Quan Yizhen kept wearing them, even after more than a century of separation, was a big surprise to Yin Yu.
He had avoided Quan Yizhen for years, and even when they ran into each other (always because of Quan Yizhen’s relentless pursuit, never by accident), Yin Yu made sure to swiftly escape, never allowing Quan Yizhen to get close enough for him to notice that kind of detail.
So when he finally noticed that, it was already too late for him to do or say anything about it. It was really not a good time to ask something like that. They had more important matters to deal with, like avoiding their imminent death and fighting against the Heavenly Emperor.
But he wanted to ask! He wanted to know why, after all he had done, after giving him so many reasons to hate him, why was he still wearing those earrings?! It made him mad, it made him sad, it made him… so many things.
Sadly, he did not get a chance to talk to Quan Yizhen before dying in the most impulsive, self-sacrificial way. And he did it for him.
He was brought back from death by Quan Yizhen (with the help of Hua Chengzhu), so of course the first thing he saw as he opened his eyes, was Quan Yizhen’s tired figure, asleep in a chair at the side of his bed, clutching a box in his arms, filled with who knows what.
Ah, how unbelievable he was.
Yin Yu didn’t want to wake him up: it was evident he needed the rest, and at least that gave him a little bit of time to examine his own body and… think. There was no way to avoid him for now, anyway.
While he was stretching and still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that he was now a ghost, and that Quan Yizhen was there in the same room, inside Paradise Manor, apparently waiting for him, Quan Yizhen woke up with a start, looking around frantically.
“Shixiong? SHIXIONG! YOU WOKE UP! YOU-“ He got up and approached him, with such force that Yin Yu was practically tackled.
“Ow, ow, ow, be careful, please. I’ve literally just reformed.”
“I’m sorry, shixiong” He didn’t look like he was sorry at all, not even one bit: Quan Yizhen was grinning, and even if his face still revealed how tired he actually was, he was also practically glowing from happiness.
Then, Yin Yu noticed he was not wearing his golden earrings. Before he could stop himself, he blurted out exactly that.
“You’re not wearing your earrings anymore.” Oh, fuck. His disappointment was so patent in his voice. Maybe dying took away his ability to filter his thoughts before actually expressing them. And besides, what right did he have to feel disappointed about it?
“Oh, shixiong noticed?” Quan Yizhen’s eyes opened so big, as if he could not believe that Yin Yu would pick up that detail. “I took them off because I knew I was going to fall asleep.”
That explained exactly nothing at all to Yin Yu, whose face probably showed that he had no idea what Yizhen meant.
Seeing his confusion, Quan Yizhen added, “I always take them off before sleeping, or before I take a bath. Shixiong, look,” he opened the box he was clutching in his sleep, showing Yin Yu what was treasured inside it, before extracting the earrings and quickly putting them on again, with practiced ease after so many years of doing it. “See? I always keep them safe here when I’m not wearing them.”
“Oh.” Did that make him feel better? “Why… why are you still wearing them? Why do you still have them?” Quan Yizhen had not confirmed if they were exactly the same earrings Yin Yu gave him as a birthday present, basically a lifetime ago, but for some reason Yin Yu was so sure of it.
“Because they were a gift from shixiong” was Quan Yizhen’s simple, instant reply. He didn’t even think about it, he said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“But I avoided you, I-… I hurt you” Yin Yu’s brain was not performing too well right then. “Why would you keep something that reminded you of me?”
“Because I wanted to remember shixiong, of course.” Now, Quan Yizhen was the one confused. “These earrings were the only thing I had left from shixiong, so I treasured them and kept them with me.”
He treasured them. Yizhen treasured the earrings, because they reminded him of him.
“I… don’t know what to say”
It was true. There was nothing but static on his head now, and even if he knew that they really should talk about what happened, he has no idea of where to start.
“Then, maybe shixiong can listen to me for a while?” Quan Yizhen’s eyes were pleading. “I don’t know how to start, but there are many things I want to tell to shixiong”
“Maybe you can start by telling me what happened after I died?” offered Yin Yu, because that was the most logical answer.
“Of course, shixiong.”
Quan Yizhen’s voice filled the air around them, and while listening to him, Yin Yu allowed himself to acknowledge that he had missed it, and that he, also, had many things he wanted to say to Yizhen. They had time.
There was no rush.