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Rin awoke with a gasp. She felt her heart racing in her chest as if she had just finished a training session. The covers of her bed were sticking to her skin. Even now she was awake she couldn’t shake the mental images of her nightmare. The traditional bridal wear, her getting tied to that sleazy man for the rest of her life. Though it was now in the far past and had no chances of coming true she couldn’t shake the fear.
Rin scrubbed her eyes in the hopes it would disappear but it did not. It’s been three whole years since she had gotten to Sinegard and the fear remained. It was childish in a way. The way she couldn’t let it go. It made her angry the way her only fear could be something so weak. The way she feared what may have happened to her if she didn’t pass the exam even though she was now at the top of her year at the academy. She was fine.
Rin sighed, she was most likely not getting back to sleep at this rate. She looked around her dorm, Niang and Venka were deep asleep and were not about to be waking up soon. Throwing her covers off she decided to slip out still just in her thin nightgown that was most likely not weather appropriate for the chill autumn air.
In theory they weren’t actually allowed to be outside their dorms during the hours between 11pm and 4am but she couldn’t recall a time where the masters actually enforced that rule. She also couldn’t care less what they said at this second. The feelings left over from the nightmare were slowly turning into rage that threatened to boil over. She felt the anger simmering below the surface.
Rin aimlessly wandered the halls wondering what to do with the many hours she had before everyone else awoke. She traversed the halls till she eventually ended up outside in the yard where they train.
Her eyes scanned the yard before landing on the wooden training dummies that lay in the corner. Struck with the idea of finally letting off steam she strode over to where they kept the swords. Taking up her first position she started attacking the dummy one after the other slowly building in speed and strength.
The night was still and silent the only thing breaking up the quiet breeze of the wind were Rin's slight gasps and metal hitting wood. Her breaths quickened, her chest tightened, her movements slowly became uncontrolled. Occasionally she missed the dummy and hit air only to hit her next swipe twice as hard.
Rin slowly let herself come unravelled. Her anger turned to hate and her hate turned to fear. Her fear clutched her heart. She couldn’t understand why the feeling wouldn’t leave. It was three years ago, she wouldn’t be getting married. She is in Sinegard. She is fine. She is stronger than her irrational nightmares. She is a trained swordsman if she was forced to marry she would simply kill him. She will be ok.
But that thought process didn’t stop the tears from forming and her hands started to shake. Her hits started missing the target more and even when they did hit they were getting weaker barely making a dent. Her gasps were turning watery until she started to feel her legs shake.
She couldn’t get the image out of her head. Not even as her eyes filled with water and she could barely see in front of her. Not as she tried to focus on her breathing. She thought she was over this but no, just like a bad smell it lingered. Infested a small space in her brain that sometimes spread.
Rin took a five second break before swinging her sword recklessly above her head to bring it down for one final blow but before she could bring it back down a pair of hands grabbed her wrist. They took the sword out of her hand before chucking it to the floor.
Rin froze in fear. Her breathing was slow and shaky. It took two seconds before her legs broke beneath her. The two hands moved to grab her by her armpits stopping her from hitting the ground, instead they slowly lowered her to the ground
“You’re okay” Nezha whispered lowering her to the ground, “I got you”
Nezha? If it wasn’t for her uncontrollable sobbing she would probably be questioning why he was up at this time. But her brain didn’t even think of it. Rin instead just leaned back into his hold burying her face in his neck.
Nezha was calming. He was grounding her back down to reality. It was funny for her to think about. The fact that Nezha was currently being her rock. If someone had told Rin a couple years ago that she would be crying into his shoulder as he whispered to her. She would have probably set them ablaze.
“What happened?” He questioned once her breathing evened out.
She battled with herself over what to answer him. The truth was mortifying she was nineteen years old and she was getting nightmares over something that was years old. But this was Nezha, he wasn’t the same as when she first arrived. He had matured in a way she couldn’t explain. He wasn’t going to judge her, not anymore.
“I can’t stop thinking about what could have happened to me” She stated simply.
“The marriage?” He prompted.
Rin just nodded silently. He already knew about her past. She had told him one late night when they were studying together in the library.
“It won't ever happen no matter what” Nezha held her close resting his head atop of hers, “I wouldn’t let it”
He didn’t say it was a promise but she knew it was. Their relationship was a slow thing that was being built on trust and silent promises. It had taken many apologies and years of back and forth actions that had built something beautiful.
“You’re freezing” Nezha commented as he pulled away to take off his jacket and placing it around her shoulders.
Rin hadn’t noticed till now. The adrenaline had numbed most of her senses but now it was wearing off she was starting to feel the exhaustion. Rin shifted to be as close to him as humanly possible. Stealing his body heat for herself.
“Tired?” He questioned brushing the hair from her eyes.
“A little” She replied,
“I’ll take you back” Nezha said,
She expected to move back and let her stand so he could walk her back to her dorm. But instead he shifted to kneel before putting one hand under her knees and the other on her lower back swooping her up into bridal carry.
“Nezha!” She whispered harshly, “I can walk myself!”
“I know” He pressed a feather light kiss to the top of her head, “But you are tired, don't deny it”
Rin gave in with no fight, which was unlike her but she didn’t care. His arms were comfortable and she can’t say she didn’t like it. She closed her eyes and waited for them to reach her dorms. But they never did. Instead by the time she opened her eyes she realised they were right outside his and Kitay’s.
“This isn’t my room” She stated simply a hint of confusion laced her voice.
“I know that” He shrugged, placing her down on his bed.
Rin glanced over to the other side of the room where Kitay was fast asleep. What would he think if he saw his best friend fast asleep in his other friend's bed? As if he could read her thoughts he moved to block her view.
“He won't care,” Nezha assured her, moving to get into bed next to her.
Kitay wouldn’t care. She knew that. The issue was the horrendous teasing she is going to get off him. And not only him but Venka when she found out. It would be non-stop. She wasn’t sure she was brave enough to face it.
Rin sighed moving under the covers. She can’t say she’s exactly upset over these turn of events. She honestly didn’t want to be alone right now. So ending up in this predicament was for the best.
She settled into Nezha’s side. His arm came around to hold her moving her head onto his chest. He was warm and safe. It was going to be worth the teasing and the scolding she is most likely going to get from the masters of the state of the wooden dummy.
She closed her eyes finally letting sleep welcome her once again. This time no worries about the dreams she is going to get. She let out a satisfied hum as Nezha's hand rubbed up and down her back.
“Rin” He whispered
“Hm?” She sleepily replied.
“I love you”
Rin was suddenly wide awake again. Her heart started to beat loudly again, “You do?”
“I do”
This was quite the leap. Rin thought to herself. Neither of them had ever commented on the relationship between them. Sure the way they interacted over time had changed but it was gradual in a way where nothing needed to be said.
“I love you too” She finally said before closing her eyes once again.