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“How could you be so stupid?!”
“Dallas you know for a damn fact that I couldn’t have known. I wouldn’t have— have just left him there if I didn’t think he would be okay!”
“That doesn’t change anything! He’s gone! Nowhere to be found because of your dumb fucking mistake! Who knows if we’ll ever see him again…you do know what happens to other kids in these situations.”
“Dallas—”
“You never liked him, Steve! Any other one of us would’ve just picked him up, no questions asked! Hell, you could’ve done this on purpose—”
“Don’t you fucking dare, Dallas. Don’t you dare assume that. I had to work an extra two shifts! I couldn’t make it! He’s still my kid brother! Always!”
“You don’t care!”
“Yes I do!”
“Well you sure don’t show it…”
“Oh and you do?”
“That’s not the point. It doesn’t matter.
He’s gone…”
They took him away. They took him away. They took him away. They fucking took him away. He’s gone and they don’t know where he is, if he’s alive okay. See, it might look like what happened here was something to do with the state, but the Curtis family was entirely on thin ice with the law, and if one was gone, most of them would be.
But that’s not the case, and to understand this, we need to rewind back a little.
Ponyboy was out one day, hanging out at the park near his school, walking up and down the trails, waiting for one of his big brothers to pick him up. It was Steve’s job usually to drive him home, but Steve was nowhere to be found when Pony left school. So the boy just walked around for a while.
When it was clear that Steve wasn’t going to show up and hang out with him like he said he would do—Darry forced him to—he decided to just get going. It was one of the colder seasons so by the time Pony started going home, the sun was already starting to set.
He shook his head to himself. He knew that Steve didn’t like him too much, they hadn’t gotten along in years. But he didn’t think that he would just up and go home or to work or wherever without him. They were already on thin ice, so Darry can’t call the police without risking anything. And they knew that.
As he carried his heavy backpack down the sidewalk, glancing at the shop-owners as they closed for the night. Some of the stars were starting to come into view, flickering the way they did millions of years ago.
Pony always thought it was so surreal. These stars that he’s seeing could already be gone and he would have no idea. No one would. Space is so big that even light can’t catch up. People wouldn’t really notice when a star disappeared, though. There were still a lot of bigger and brighter ones. The stars will still shine on even without one. They gotta.
It was starting to get to the part where Pony would have to walk through the supposedly haunted area that had been abandoned for a century. This was exactly why he needed Steve. He didn’t care if he seemed clingy, he just wanted to feel safe and at the moment he didn’t. He heard a car engine and braced himself. He couldn’t deal with socs. It would kill him to get jumped after such a shit day.
He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands as the car pulled up next to him. He heard a window roll down and he finally glanced to the side. He saw a man who didn’t look too old but wasn’t exactly young. His jet black hair a large contrast to his light green eyes. Ponyboy hated how much people could make that combination look good. Ponyboy hated green eyes and usually the people with them .
He rolled his eyes as the man smirked and laughed for a second at the silence between them. Pony was staring him down warily and he was seeming to try and formulate the words in his head in whatever he wanted to say.
“Hey kid, you lost?”
Ponyboy’s face hardened further as he turned away and kept walking, the car creeping up slowly as he did. He seemed to have a glint in his eyes, this man, but there was something about it that told Ponyboy to run but he didn’t.
He doesn’t know how much he will regret that decision later.
“I’m fine, sir , I don’t need your help.”
The man chuckled lowly, “C’mon kid. I ain’t got nothing to do. It wouldn’t be of any annoyance to give you a ride. Especially in a scary area like this.”
Ponyboy sighed. He really didn’t wanna walk through there alone. It’s not only haunted but it’s not exactly safe, and Pony didn’t want to risk not coming home to his brothers. And this man seemed nice enough. He reminded him of his big brother, Dally.
Little did he know…
Ponyboy sighed in defeat, “Yeah. Yeah a ride would be nice.”
The man gestured to the door, he had it unlocked already. Ponyboy opened it and sat down and the man started driving through the area.
“What has you out this late after school? Those extra-curriculars?”
Ponyboy was surprised at the conversation the man was trying to strike up, “O-Oh um, my brother was supposed to pick me up. He just didn’t show and I waited there for a while before starting to walk home.”
“Damn kid, your own brother stood you up?”
Ponyboy didn’t want to believe it, but it is what happened. He loved Steve, he just hated how he acted. He could never not care. But he doubted that Steve actually gave a shit anymore, “Yeah. He did. He does it often.”
The man shook his head and tapped the steering wheel with his fingers, “Really? You ever get sick of that type of bullshit?”
Ponyboy nodded, glad there was someone who understood, “Yeah, it’s too annoying and just rude. He just never had any empathy. Oh, my street is to the right, you can just drop me off here if you want.”
But the man didn’t say anything.
“Sir?”
He didn’t speak. His eyes were hardening as he tightly grabbed the wheel and sped up a little bit, past Pony’s street.
Suddenly Ponyboy remembered all the times people in his life told him to be wary of strangers.
“Y-You missed my street, sir.”
A smirk worked its way onto his face, much more sour than the one earlier as he sped down the street. Ponyboy realized it right then and there. He wasn’t getting a ride home. He was getting kidnapped.
And suddenly the talking-to’s from Darry, the snarky comments from Steve, the coldness from Dally, the feeling of not being enough, of being expendable, was nothing and was preferred over the feeling of doom that he felt. The fear of never seeing them again and the things, imperfections, flaws, and perks of his family.
He had heard about the things that happened to kids his age and younger and even older. And he never thought that his name could end up on the list.
But as the man glanced at him with a a sadistic smirk, he felt a shiver run through him and a realization. He was never gonna get out of this. He was never gonna see his brothers again.
Never have a warm hug from Darry, never cuddle with Soda after a nightmare, never hear one of Two-Bit’s jokes, never feel that feeling in his heart when Dally tells him he’s proud, never the comforting words he couldn’t believe Steve would give him, never feel Johnny’s embrace that would shield him from the world. Nothing. There’s nothing when you’re gone. Nothing.
Ponyboy didn’t know that morning when he left for school that he wouldn’t come back. Because if he did, he would’ve done everything differently. He would’ve hugged his brothers tighter, he would’ve said agreed to the plans Curly invited him to the week prior, just to be with his friend.
In that moment, Ponyboy didn’t think he would ever see them again. Ponyboy knew the facts, and though he would get teased for skipping a grade and being a “nerd” it was better to be safe that sorry. But in his fit of rage and fear, he forgot in the worse moment the advice he had gotten from Dally.
Never trust anyone.
But Ponyboy did. And now he was paying the price.
He wondered what he could possibly do to get out of this as the man takes a sharp turn that throws him to the side against the door. He realized, there was a door right there. He could try to get out. He quickly fumbled to open the door, not thinking. He got it open slightly when the man began to fume, grabbing him and pulling him back in as he tried to jump out.
Then something switched in the man and suddenly the car sped up way beyond the speed limit and Pony was being forcefully shoved out of the car.
Pony didn’t remember anything that happened in the gap in which he was unconscious.
——
When he woke up he was aching in pain everywhere. He couldn’t move, but if he could, a lot of pain would shoot through him.
Ithurtsithurtsithurts.
He just wanted to go home. He wants to be safe and warm. And this cold basement floor he was laying on only put it into perspective more as he glanced down and saw his already infected wounds.
There was no way he was going to get out of this.
He was going to die alone.
He was in chains. But hadn’t he always been? Trapped playing a role. Now he was being kept from playing that role.
He just hoped his brothers would be okay.
It hurt to breathe and it felt like the minutes were counting down. Ponyboy had a feeling rooted deep in his chest, one that has been there for a while. The end is near.
He didn’t want to die alone. He never thought that’s how it would be. He always thought, always knew he wanted to be with his brothers if his world was ending. But they weren’t going to save him. They couldn’t hear his screams. But Ponyboy didn’t even really know where he was in the first place or how much time had passed. He didn’t really know anything at that moment.
He didn’t even notice that he fell back asleep.
——
The six oldest Curtis brothers have never been so stressed in their lives. Ponyboy was nowhere to be found. It had gotten to the point where they got the police involved. The detectives started searching in which they let the Curtises come with them for a little while.
They went house to house and asked about what they knew about Ponyboy in general, where they saw him last, and if they knew anything about his disappearance.
They were having a hard time accepting what was happening.
Darry was pissed at himself. He never focused enough attention on his youngest brother, and now they don’t know where he even is.
Two-Bit never seemed to be with him. In fact he would sometimes avoid him at school.
Dally never showed how he cared in the ways Pony would understand.
Steve consistently makes him think that he hates him.
Soda is always out on a date.
And Johnny is always with Dallas.
They all failed him. Big time.
Their baby brother was God knows where. Scared, alone, or worse, with someone to hurt him.
Everything was going fine. Until they got to one of their newer neighbors.
The police were doing their usual questions but they heard something. A scream and a cry for help that matched the voice of only one person. Ponyboy.
They all shared a glance for a millisecond before sprinting past and trying to find the source of the sound. They heard it again.
As they heard the cops questioning further but not stopping them, they ran down a flight of stairs. The warm of their adrenaline beginning to run cold in their blood.
He was there.
Right there.
Right.
There.
But there was blood.
And there were chains.
There were wounds.
And Pony was paler than they’d ever seen him. There were scratches all over his face and eye bags. They could see some of his veins as they approached, looks over horror on their faces.
Ponyboy looked as if he was deathly sick as he barely responded to their presence.
Sodapop collapsed next to him, choking out a sob as his hands shook, reaching out to his brother, “P-Pony…baby please…no…”
Dally was pissed but the weight of everything crashing down on them made the most vulnerable emotions come to light, “Ponyboy?”
Ponyboy opened his eyes tiredly, barely registering the blobs in his vision, “What?”
“I-It’s us Pony,” Darry said. They were all on the ground next to their kid brother, trying to ignore the pool of blood. No one got up to call an ambulance or get the cops in there, “You ain’t gotta worry, kiddo. You’re safe now.”
Ponyboy seemed to brighten, albeit a little. He was so weakened, they were surprised he could still have such reactions. “D-Darry? Guys is…is it really you?”
“Yeah. It’s us Pony,” said Johnny who was gently smoothing Pony’s hair back in one hand, and held Pony’s hand in his other. His face solemn like they’ve never seen it. Johnny had a bad feeling.
“Thank goodness…I thought I would be alone, I thought I’d…die alone…” Ponyboy said as the corners of his mouth turned up slightly.
“You ain’t dying,” Two-Bit interjected, “You ain’t. You can’t ,” his voice cracked as he began to cry quietly. It was then that they realized that tears were rolling down all of their cheeks.
Soda adjusted Pony gently, lifting his head onto his knees and holding him close.
“It hurts,” Ponyboy said, tearing up.
“Shhh love, it’ll be alright, you will be alright,” Steve said, his voice shaking, trying to reassure himself more than Ponyboy.
The brothers glanced at each other as if asking:
Is this it?
They sob harder and scramble for another way. Soda takes off his DX shirt and presses it against the bad wound that has long bled out, desperate, his hands shaking.
Steve reaches over, breathing heavily. This was all his fault. If he could’ve just got over himself and been the better person, this wouldn’t have happened. His baby brother would be okay. All over some stupid grudge.
Dally screamed out and slammed his fist on the ground. But it made no sound and only hurt his hand, “You can’t do this, you can’t, you’re not leaving us! Not like this!”
Pony didn’t even flinch with the rest of them at the noise. His eyes were basically shut. He whispered.
“It’s okay, Dally. It’s okay…”
Then Dally broke completely, sobs wracking his body, “N-No…it’s not fucking okay…it wasn’t supposed to be you, it never was. You were supposed to be the one to get out.”
As Pony tried to respond the breath caught in his throat as he struggled to inhale. They all rushed to help him sit up more for Ponyboy’s back to be laying against Soda’s chest as his head was just short of his older brothers shoulder.
“Just…just stay. Please. Don’t— don’t leave me please,” Pony pleaded, breathing deeply.
And if they weren’t currently grasping at the kid, they were now. As if they could stabilize him so he never disappears.
“We’re— we ain’t going nowhere Pony. We will stay right here. As— no matter what,” Darry said, his voice breaking. If only he wasn’t so hard on his youngest brother. Maybe things would’ve been different.
Steve shook his head to himself, one hand rubbing his face as if trying to get him self to wake up but his shoulders just shake as he sobbed, “I’m sorry. For everything hon, I’m so damn sorry. I love ya, Ponyboy, you can’t leave yet…”
Ponyboy struggled to breathe as he stuttered out, “I-I love you t-too. S-So much.”
Darry gives him a soft kiss on the forehead, “You’ll— you’ll be alright, kid brother,” Darry sniffled.
This can’t be happening.
“There’s…” Darry paused, “There’s someplace better.”
It went silent after that.
This couldn’t be happening.
Why was nobody doing anything?
Where did the detectives go?
Someone. Anyone.
Maybe it was the pool of blood. Or the wounds, or the infections. How sickly Ponyboy looked. How weak he was. Either and any way, they had a gut feeling there was nothing they can do. They just sat there. Helpless. Holding their baby brother, giving him as much comfort as they could. The little kisses like their mother used to give them, huddling close, finding comfort in the sound of Ponyboy’s heartbeat and breathing.
But the clock was ticking.
And his breath was slowing.
And his eyes were almost softly closed.
There was nothing he was more grateful for than his brothers. He thought he wouldn’t get lucky like this. He didn’t know how they found him, but they did. They held him as the pain started to relief and he felt floaty and light in their arms as he felt them all near.
Nothing mattered other than how he wasn’t alone. Not anymore. He trusted his brothers. They would get along. They would be alright. Just like how he’d be.
It didn’t hurt anymore.
Not his body.
Nor his heart.
He had them and it meant everything.
His eyes didn’t have to be closed by the time he left as he already closed them himself as he faded away.
Pony’s biggest fear has always been being alone. And he wasn’t. Not in that moment. He was with the people he would want to be with in this.
They stayed with him just for a while.
And the remnants of a smile were still present even after.