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Rain pattered softly on the woven roof of the marui, the musty scent of damp soil wafting in on a soft breeze as the nocturnal insects chirped and trilled in the forest. The breeze felt cool on Neytiri's skin, though not unpleasantly so, and every once in a while she could hear the deep rumble of far-distant thunder as she lay half-propped-up in her hammock, quietly nursing her infant son.
Jake lay next to her, radiating warmth, Kiri curled up on his chest beneath his steady hands. They were both deeply asleep, and a part of Neytiri envied them for it...but another part of her knew that getting frustrated about it was pointless. Jake had been more than willing to wake up with the babies when they needed comfort or to relieve themselves and let Neytiri sleep as long as she could...but if the babies were hungry, well, he could not produce milk. Until Neteyam and Kiri were old enough to wean, that responsibility rested squarely on her.
But that was ok, she thought, gently stroking the dark peach fuzz on Neteyam's little head with her thumb, soaking in the tiny mewling noises he made as he suckled and watching his little ears twitch. Sometimes she felt it would fill her heart to bursting.
She thought back to when Mo'at had first confirmed to her that she was expecting. It was about a year ago now. She and Jake hadn't yet been mated for very long and the news seemed so unexpectedly sudden that she could hardly believe it was true—it felt more like a dream than reality.
Strangely, that odd dreamlike feeling had never fully gone away. Even as her belly grew round and she felt her baby's first kicks, a subtle fluttering sensation at first which grew stronger over time...even as Jake (bless him, he'd been so excited) paraded proudly around the village, asking earnestly after tips for weaving baby slings or the traditional stories he'd be expected to tell his kids...even as they decided on favorite names and even as she finally got to hold her perfect little boy in her arms after an exhausting labor, to look into his beautiful scrunched-up face and hear his little cry which calmed the moment she'd cradled him close and made tsaheylu with him...
Even now, up late into night, nursing him in a way that had quickly become routine over the past few months...something about the whole situation still felt surreal. How could it be that just a little over a year ago she had never even met Jake? How could it be that this person whom she now cared so deeply for had once come so near to being skewered by her own arrow, mere months before they'd grown close enough to sneak off and marry? And how could it be that they already had the most precious baby boy of their own, and adopted a beautiful baby girl so soon afterwards?
It boggled Neytiri's mind to think of it. Neteyam had stopped suckling, clearly full, and Neytiri sighed as she lifted him up onto her shoulder, gently patting his back. Neteyam, Kiri, Jake...their entry into her life sometimes seemed so sudden that it hardly felt real...and yet, at the same time, she could barely imagine a life without them anymore.
Neteyam burped and Neytiri absentmindedly wiped the extra milk that had come up with it with a spare rag. She glanced back over at her sleeping husband and daughter, wondering if she ought to wake Kiri for her own feeding before she went back to sleep. She ultimately decided against it...Kiri would wake on her own when she was hungry. Besides, Neteyam was a good eater and Neytiri wasn't sure if she had enough milk left for a second infant right this moment.
Instead, she settled into the hammock beside Jake, resting her head against his shoulder as she gently cradled Neteyam the way he cradled Kiri. She knew she ought to close her eyes immediately to catch what little sleep she could…it wouldn’t be that long before one of the babies needed tending again, of course…but something she couldn’t explain kept them open just a bit longer, watching her little family.
Neteyam nuzzled into his mother’s hold, and Kiri yawned and stretched in her sleep beneath Jake’s. Kiri…her existence was perhaps the most surreal part of the whole thing. Not for the first time, Neytiri wondered who her biological father could’ve been. Was it another dreamwalker? Surely it must have been, the clan would’ve known if Grace had sealed a life-bond with one of their bachelors. Or would they? Could Grace and her mate simply kept their bond secret? Was such a thing even possible?
Besides, while Kiri had five fingers like the dreamwalk-bodies, Neteyam had four like normal; he didn’t even have the strange little band of hair above his eyes. No one would’ve known just by looking at him that his father was once a dreamwalker. Neytiri supposed that maybe her Na'vi blood had sufficiently diluted the sky people traits to allow for this, therefore if Kiri had inherited those traits then surely both her parents must have been dreamwalkers, right?
But then again, perhaps Neteyam had simply been lucky; perhaps some of their future children (were they to have more, Neytiri thought with a light blush) would take more after Jake in this manner. It was impossible to say.
Regardless, no one ever stepped forward to claim Kiri, neither dreamwalker nor Na'vi. Perhaps the father, like so many others, had died in the battle against the sky people. NormSpellman had mentioned using sky people machines to run something called a dee-en-ey test to identify him somehow, but said that the results were “inconclusive” because he “couldn’t find a match in the day-ta-base”, whatever that meant.
But, Neytiri supposed, it didn’t really matter anymore. She and Jake had committed to take Kiri in as their own, so she was theirs now, a precious gift from Eywa. If by some wild chance her biological father was still alive somewhere out there, well, he was missing out.
Gradually Neytiri’s eyes began to droop. Neteyam had already fallen asleep, breathing softly and evenly against her chest. The rain continued its soothing pitter-patter, though the thunder had abated, and the fresh smell of the forest was familiar and comforting.
Sometimes her life felt like a dream, but it was a precious dream, one that she clung to, held close to her heart and never let go.
When she’d first bonded with Jake, Neytiri thought the overwhelming surge of euphoria was the strongest form of love she’d ever feel. It was only when she held Neteyam in her arms for the first time that she realized she’d been wrong. Loving Jake was wonderful on its own, yes, but loving him so much that they created a whole new person, so tiny yet perfectly formed, still so new and fragile yet strong and healthy, a little piece of both of them…there was nothing like it. She’d never imagined it was possible for her heart to hold so much tender love, such fierce devotion…and that unconditional love for her children only amplified her love for Jake, and his for her.
Her life was not always easy. She definitely wasn’t getting enough sleep these days, and even with the help of Jake, Mo'at, and the clan, meeting the constant needs of two infants was exhausting and even frustrating at times. On top of that, all the struggles she’s had before her children—the tragedies she’d experienced, the work of helping establish a new village, her responsibilities as tsakarem and Jake’s as olo'eyktan—they hadn’t gone away. Many times over a part of her heart had ached to know that Eytukan never got the chance to meet his grandchildren, and Sylwanin never got the chance to meet her niece and nephew. She knew that Jake had once lost a brother as well, and she wondered if he ever had the same thoughts about him.
No, her life definitely was not easy. It could still be busy and chaotic and hard.
But even so, she thought as she finally drifted off into a contented much-needed slumber…she wouldn’t trade her family for the world.