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Human existence is a neverending cycle of birth, death, and rebirth – not just for individuals but for the universe as they know it. Earth has existed millions of times, the Milky Way billions, each instance with its own set of parameters. In some, humans evolve from ambitious little fish and work together to create a utopia of peace and happiness where they can swim together free of pollutants. In others, they claw their way from the planet's core with lava in their veins and fire in their hearts, waging war after war until nothing living remains.
And in this one, they're moderately hairless apes with a moderately high-tech society living moderately meaningful lives – just about everything about them is mediocre compared to other cycles, really – on a half-ruined planet which should have been reduced to rubble roughly twelve years ago. There's a prophecy and everything, now mocked by the humans as just foolish paranoia from ancient scholars.
"Memes were made about it," Jungkook says grimly when explaining the situation to the destined architect of humanity's demise.
His name isn't actually Jungkook, but it's quite impossible to transcribe or pronounce the series of primordial clicks and squeaks that form his true name. He's taken to living a human-passing existence in South Korea these past couple of decades – partly from boredom and partly in anticipation of the apocalypse his brother napped through – so he needed something for people to call him. And since the few people whose eyes don't liquefy when they perceive his true form still tend to run away in abject horror, he also needed a visage, which is why he's a handsome young man with shaggy black hair and an arm full of tattoos.
Okay, and a long, dark tail with a spade tip. He hides that part when humans look, but right now he's with his grumpy, tired brother who's roughly two hours (human time) past being rudely awakened and alerted that reviews are coming up in ten days (eldritch horror time). Neither of them are particularly certain how the time conversion works, but suffice to say the star producer of the apocalypse better get his ass in gear because humans are supposed to be endangered or extinct by now.
"What's a meme?" Jungkook's brother asks.
This brother is called Yoongi, per the last-second rush to fabricate a human-passing identity before dragging him into this dimension to complete his damn job. His nose scrunches in annoyance as he yawns and stretches, frustrated by the itchy feeling of being confined in humanoid shape. His hair is mint green for some inexplicable reason attributed to Jungkook's sense of human fashion and he looks like one might expect from a grumpy cat who's been turned human... complete with sharp claws he uses to ensnare his brother's tail when it flicks one too many times into his personal space.
Jungkook huffs, curling his tail around himself when the clawed grip is released. "Maybe you'd know what memes are if you hadn't overslept by a decade and a half," he says with a pout. His tail aches, and he makes a dramatic show of rubbing the claw marks on it even though the skin isn't broken.
"Maybe I wouldn't have overslept if this batch of humans weren't boring," Yoongi challenges. He meets his younger brother's pouting with an eye roll; it's not going to work on him after countless aeons. "I left instructions for someone to wake me when they evolve wings."
"They haven't, and they won't." Jungkook's tail flicks dangerously close to his brother's personal space again, almost daring the claws to sink into it further so he has an excuse to break out the extreme pout. Yoongi isn't dumb enough to rise to that bait... yet. "The ones descended from birds died three cycles ago, when it was Taehyung's turn to usher the apocalypse."
Yoongi has no clue which of their brothers has been going by that particular human moniker, but he also can't say he particularly cares. He's never been one to indulge the strange practice of living amongst the creatures he'll someday have to destroy. Thus, he just makes a noncommittal noise and falls dramatically onto the sofa in Jungkook's human home.
"Why can't we just let the weird primates kill each other off?" He grouses. "I mean, it seems like they're trying very hard to do it. Maybe we should let them."
"They've been trying that for centuries." Jungkook swats Yoongi's feet with his tail, fussing until his brother gets the hint and shucks the shoes he's getting on an expensive leather couch. "Apparently, something always happens to create a pocket of peace..."
He trails off and their gazes meet, an edge of realization seeping into place. Every time – every single cycle – this pattern has emerged, the same culprit has been involved.
"Where's the sibling born after me?" Yoongi asks carefully. It's a much less awkward question in their own language, but human vocal cords can't handle that, so he has to settle. Grumpily. (Jungkook fears the nose wrinkle may become permanent on that cute, squishy-cheeked face.)
"He went on vacation after you fell asleep during the Pleistocene epoch." Jungkook raises his tail, teasing the spade tip along two pieces of metal jewelry in his lower lip as he considers the implications. "That was... not too long after the Hobbits went extinct, right?"
"The what?"
"Sorry... the Flores Men."
"Oh." Yoongi shrugs. "I don't know. All these damn cycles blend together in my head." He crosses his arms behind his head, getting way too comfortable in his inertia. "Seriously, what's a Hobbit?"
A small pop and a puff of smoke off to the side announce a new presence, followed closely by the crashing of a vase and a series of pained sounds. Yoongi doesn't bother looking; he knows exactly which brother has arrived, and not just because he can feel the spiritual signature.
"Namjoon!" Jungkook greets him, and Yoongi sighs, wiggling around until he can perceive the humanoid form of this brother.
He's very slightly taller, which isn't much of a surprise given he's also bigger in true form, and looks a bit like one of the golden retriever people from four cycles ago but without floppy ears or a tail. In fact, he seems to have a completely human-passing façade: no spade tail or sharp claws to worry about hiding from the normal folks. Not even intense eyes, which honestly would have been Yoongi's guess. Whatever anomaly he has – and there must be one, for him to manifest properly in this dimension – he's either going to great lengths to hide it from his own brothers or it's invisible while he's clothed.
Yoongi decides to not overthink the last option and instead tunes back in to the conversation happening around him.
"–hasn't been seen since he left for vacation," Jungkook is explaining of the third brother in birth order. That information seems to exasperate Namjoon.
"You summoned me to clean up The Second's mess?" Namjoon crosses his arms in annoyance. "I was having a nice time in the library dimension."
"I didn't summon you," Jungkook pouts, and the expression seems to work much better on this brother. "I was talking to Number Two here and–"
"Well, someone summoned me, and I doubt he's lifted a..." Namjoon glances across to Yoongi's façade and snorts lightly. "...claw since you awakened him."
"I heard that," Yoongi mutters.
"Good!" Namjoon counters.
"Hi, I'm the summoner," a new voice boasts, roughly two seconds before another pop and puff of smoke, this time smelling like actual fire.
The trio gathered in Jungkook's living room groan in unison, recognizing the spiritual signature of the third sibling before his human form even comes into view. He grins wide, mouth forming a heart-like shape, and Jungkook thinks he'd have guessed that as the anomaly if not for the scarred veins of orange glow running through charred humanoid flesh. Odd, he thinks, that the most kind-hearted of them all would have a form so unsuitable for mingling with humans unglamoured while the one least interested in doing so would pass completely as human. This dimension truly isn't fair; he owes a few human acquaintances apologies for ever saying otherwise when they complained about trivial things. (Y'know. If Yoongi doesn't make them perish horribly before he gets the chance.)
"Joon-ah, please inform our second that he is not allowed to destroy humanity," the third requests with an air of confidence that almost makes Yoongi question his own destiny.
"Hoseok," Namjoon sighs, ignoring the incredulous glances from Jungkook and Yoongi when they realize the third and fourth have been in contact in this dimension before. "You can't just take..."
"Yoongi," the lounging one supplies when he realizes Namjoon is fishing for his human moniker.
"... Yoongi's job and reverse it," Namjoon finishes. "Apocalyptic events are planned well in advance and it's his turn–"
"He's a dozen human years late for that," Hoseok argues. "Clearly, the apocalypse failed, and making it happen now won't fix his performance review. I'm sure he'll get partial credit for what he did to those poor dinosaurs, but otherwise he's failing."
Namjoon rubs awkwardly at the back of his neck. "Actually, that was me," he admits quietly. "I was trying to add another space rock and I dropped it..."
Hoseok opens his mouth, hesitates, closes it again, and just sighs.
"There will be more humans when the next cycle begins," Jungkook offers. "I mean, I think it's an omegaverse, but..."
"No," Hoseok says firmly. "That's what I'm trying to avoid. We're not ready for another one of those. It's only been ten cycles since the last one, and I can still–"
"Please shut up," Namjoon requests, sounding like a soldier weary from battle. The less he has to think about that particular flavour of universe, the better.
"But knots are–" Jungkook starts.
"Could someone explain what a Hobbit is?" Yoongi asks, and Namjoon looks at him like he's a superhero who just saved him from certain doom.
"Yes," Namjoon agrees enthusiastically, launching into a long-winded explanation of the entire Tolkien universe, leaving absolutely no detail uncovered.
By time he's finished, one human week has passed. Yoongi looks like he regrets his life choices and Jungkook is asleep, his tail swishing back and forth while he lightly snores. Hoseok is just smug – no, more like gleeful – because, unlike his siblings, he managed to learn time conversion between the dimensions.
"You have one day to destroy the world now," Hoseok declares with another of his brilliant grins. "Good luck with that, hyung~"
"Hyung?" Namjoon asks, casting a slightly admonishing glance toward Hoseok, who laughs nervously in response.
"I meant Second-Born Sibling, of course," Hoseok rectifies the slip into human terms, though he adds something not quite discernible under his breath.
Maybe it's just paranoia, but Namjoon could almost swear one of the words is omegaverse and it makes him launch a throw pillow toward Brother Three. Jungkook's tail swishes into the air at just the right moment to hit the pillow, sending it careening back toward Namjoon's face. For a brief moment, light snoring sounds an awful lot more like stifled giggling.
"I can do this in less than a day," Yoongi says with conviction, stretching and groaning as he finally moves from the couch.
His shoulders feel stiff after so long in one position; human forms are far from efficient for long periods of inactivity, but he at least is grateful he doesn't have to partake in the mundanity of eating and hydrating. If he had the same survival needs as a human, he may have actually died while Namjoon recited the tedious tale of Hobbits and everything else surrounding their non-existence. As it stands, he's just a little uncomfortable and surprisingly tired of sitting around doing nothing.
"First, I'll crash every satellite in orbit," he decides, "and the space station."
"Not the space station," Taehyung says with horror.
He's the sixth born, second youngest, of the siblings – joined on day three of Hobbit Lessons and has always had an affinity for the spacefaring sentients in each dimension. Perhaps that's why his flesh is deep blue with sparkling constellations moving across it. Very inhuman.
"Yes, the space station," Yoongi says firmly. "The humans can't have hope–"
"Hey!" Hoseok interjects.
"–of escaping to the cosmos," Yoongi continues, unbothered. "Hope makes them strong. I need them to be weak."
"Can't you just cut off communications to the station instead?" Taehyung offers. "Then the people up there can watch the Earth burn. Very demoralizing."
Yoongi considers it, but ultimately shakes his head and snaps his fingers. Seconds later, a horrific sound fills the world around them: loud, metallic, whizzing through burning atmosphere. Jungkook startles awake just in time to glance out the nearest window when Namjoon draws the curtain open. Fiery streaks fill the sky, followed soon by a series of rumbling crashes, some near and some distant. Sirens and car alarms follow as the shockwaves rattle through Jungkook's home, sending decorations tumbling from the walls – one landing directly atop Namjoon's head.
"Uh, sorry," Jungkook mumbles. "Let me just..."
As he trails off in concentration, a brilliant sheen of electric energy encapsulates the home, shielding it magically from the destruction befalling Earth. Even the sounds of chaos dissipate until they're barely more than white noise. Yoongi seems annoyed, but Hoseok exhales a ragged sigh of relief. It seems he doesn't particularly enjoy witnessing the destruction of humanity, even if it's far from the first time.
"Next," Yoongi says, "I'll send out a digital virus that destroys everything on the internet... except Twitter."
"Twitter is already dead in this dimension." Hoseok crosses his arms defiantly, offering Yoongi a smirk. "And stop knowing about things you slept through!"
"Oh, I told him about online culture and technological advances before I brought him here," Jungkook explains with a swat of his tail to Hoseok's rear. "You were spying! You should know that!"
"Then why didn't he know about memes?" Hoseok challenges. "You can't explain the cultural significance of Twi– I mean, X, without also explaining memes."
"I was getting to that when someone showed up and interrupted us," Jungkook pouts.
"Hey, I was summoned," Namjoon complains. "Don't blame me. I was minding my own business in the library dimension when–"
"Wait," Taehyung interjects with a deep frown. "Since when are there other dimensions? I thought it was one dimension at a time, and we took turns destroying it on the prophesized dates based on–"
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"Enough," Jin says firmly.
Everyone assembled around the coffee table freezes in place, momentarily stunned by the annoyance clear in their hyung's voice. Yoongi's hand hovers, 20-sided dice still cupped in palm, barely a few inches away from accidentally toppling a bottle of soju. Hoseok stays leaned over the coffee table, hand curled around a wad of candies in a simple plastic bowl at the center. Taehyung stares down at the hefty rulebook in his hands: Demigods of Destruction, the spine declares in English, with Korean Edition beneath it in Hangeul; he has it open to a page regarding space technology. Namjoon's lips remain parted, his head resting on his hand, lending him the appearance of a certain statue deep in thought and apparently quite close to voicing the inner monologue.
Jimin stands in the entryway, bags of takeout in his hands, staring at his friends with utter confusion as Jungkook – momentarily frozen halfway between re-crossing his legs after shifting position – topples over onto Yoongi, whose arm flails and sends the soju flooding onto a deck of game cards, which Namjoon tries to save while in the process bumping into Hobi, who then spills candy into the mess.
"When I said to get started without me..." Jimin doesn't even know how to finish the sentence, but he does think the candy dye leeching out onto sleeved cards looks rather interesting from an artistic perspective. Like tie dye, but chaotic. Destructive. Maybe next session, when it's his turn, he'll end the world with an exploded candy factory of Wonka proportions.
Assuming there is a next session. Game Master-hyung does not look particularly thrilled right now.