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Xena lay sprawled out on her stomach on the bedroll, half-on-top-of and completely-tangled-up-with Gabrielle.
The air in India the night before had been sickeningly warm, but their passion had reached a fever pitch that had been impossible to resist, so their skin still glimmered with a thin sheen of sweat as the blankets pooled around their hips. The sun had risen high enough that it would soon be a menace to Xena’s exposed back and Gabrielle’s bare chest, but neither one was awakened by its rays.
Instead, the distant snap of a twig was the stimulus that registered enough in Xena’s mind to drag her into consciousness. Her eyes flew open, alert and scanning for danger, while her keen ears honed in on the source of the noise. The first snap was followed by another. Then another, and another, then a clatter, until “son of a bacchae!” Xena groaned, flipping onto her side and flinging the blanket up so it covered her and her soulmate’s torsos.
The sudden outburst and subsequent action startled Gabrielle, who flinched violently and woke up, sleepily blinking against the sunlight.
“Xena?” she half-slurred, “what is it? Something wrong?”
“Listen,” Xena sighed, irritated, “and take a wild guess.”
Gabrielle’s face scrunched up as she concentrated on the rhythmic snapping of twigs that was now paired with a rustling in the leaves that seemed to be growing louder.
“Oh no,” she groaned, rolling over to face away from Xena, “this is the third time this month!”
Throwing her arm over her eyes and thinking back over the last few instances of this occurrence, she mused aloud, “what if it’s really just a case of sheer curiosity? Maybe we’re not doing such a great job of pretending we’re just-”
“Shh!” Xena cut her off before the clattering and clanging of makeshift armour announced Joxer’s arrival into the campsite.
“Gabrielle? Xena?” he called, looking around a moment before settling his eyes on the bedroll. He sauntered over and smiled, admiring the bard’s features as she slept.
If we pretend to be asleep, Gabrielle told herself, maybe he’ll go away.
Feeling it his duty to welcome Gabrielle and Xena into a new day, Joxer cleared his throat, putting on his most enthusiastic voice as he gripped the blanket and prepared to whisk it off his sleeping friends. “Rise and shine, everyone! Rise and-”
“JOXER!” Xena shouted, grabbing the blanket back before he could see anything and glaring at him.
“Oh, good morning, Xena,” he said cheerfully, as Gabrielle turned over onto her back so that she, too, was looking up at him. “Hi, Gabrielle,” he grinned, making the warrior’s eyes narrow.
She was preparing to tell him to get lost when he interjected, “gosh, you two can sleep! Every time I have to come and find you, it’s almost noon! It’s like you’ve been training for the Olympics all night!”
“Yeah, something like that,” Xena muttered, earning her an elbow in the ribs from Gabrielle, who dealt with Joxer in a very mild tone.
“Joxer, what did we tell you about waking us up last time?”
Closing one eye and cocking his head quizzically, Joxer answered, “you see, I wasn’t super clear on that. Xena said she’d pin me to a tree with throwing daggers if I did it again, but you didn’t seem to be on the same wavelength, so I figured, hey? what’s the harm? Xena always gives you your way.”
The warrior opened her mouth again to protest, but was cut off by Joxer once more, “hey, do you two always share a blanket like that?”
“Uh…” Gabrielle stammered, trying to come up with a plausible explanation, “it was hot last night, so we figured one bedroll would be cooler than two- you know, surface area and all that.”
Joxer nodded as if that made sense to him, and Xena jumped in before anyone else could speak. “Hey, Joxer, wanna do me a favour?”
“Sure, Xena,” he grinned, “anything!”
Forcing a smile back, Xena said cheekily, “would you run into town and pick up some jasmine for me? Gabrielle needs it for her tea when her throat is sore, and she sounded a little hoarse last night.”
“You got it!” Joxer replied happily, “back in a flash!” With a not-so-subtle crashing through the foliage, he was gone.
Relaxing against the bedroll, Xena let out a sigh of relief and chuckled as Gabrielle propped herself up on one elbow. “Think he’s ever going to figure it out?”
“Nope,” Xena smirked, giving Gabrielle a kiss and then gesturing with her head towards the area of camp where their clothes lay on the ground in disarray, “I think we’re being pretty obvious.”