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1.
It’s been barely two hours into the night so far, but Karen’s definitely feeling her third glass of wine. There’s music playing from Eddie’s living room speaker; she’s in her coziest pajamas, and it’s a cool, gentle Friday night. She’s smiling widely while Eddie tells her another story from work as he fiddles with his wine glass, looking down bashfully and flushing brightly all over his little cheeks.
“Buck was really quick to get the little boy out first. None of us saw him stuck under the beam, but Buck found him and kept him calm. He got him to talk about school and his friends and what he wanted for his birthday while we moved the beam. It was really smart. Buck’s really smart,” Eddie pauses to hiccup, looking down into his glass, betrayed, before he finishes his thought. “And strong. Buck’s smart and strong.” He turns to Karen with his big, wide eyes, and he reminds her of a baby cow sometimes, sweet brown eyes shining in the warm glow of the light.
Karen knows Eddie only got the new lamp beside him for the living room because Buck pointed it out when they were furniture shopping, saying how it would go really well with Eddie’s coffee table, and, somehow, he was right about it. There’s a fridge full of fruit and vegetable magnets Buck got Eddie too because they looked cute, and on the back of Eddie’s phone is a polar bear sticker that Buck forced him to put there because Buck wanted them to match and he had one. She can only share so many looks with Hen over their antics, but Karen’s been warned by Chimney not to breathe a word of this in front of either Eddie or Buck lest they spontaneously combust into flames.
Eddie thumps his head on the back of the couch, and Karen snorts at his melodramatic ways. “It’s really bad, Karen.” He says plainly, almost a whine, and she leans in a little closer, mindful of her glass of wine.
Hen always makes fun of her for being a notorious gossip, Karen’s well aware of that. She’s a literal rocket scientist, of course, she lives for thrills. “What’s bad?” Karen asks, and Eddie shakes his head with a sigh. “Eddie, what is it?”
He turns to her, pouting, and then drains the rest of his wine. He’s sinking back into the couch after he refills their glasses. “It’s a secret,” he whispers after a moment, and then he looks furtively around his living room.
Karen waves him off and takes a sip. Maybe she shouldn’t be so nosy, especially on her fourth glass of the night, but she’s only human. “Chris is with Hen and the kids at our place, you are free to spill,” she demands, and Eddie sighs again, miserably, as he rolls his head over in her direction.
“But you can’t tell Hen,” Eddie implores, and Karen pauses for a brief moment. “See! See, I knew I couldn’t tell you,” he repeats gloomily.
“Hold on, okay, it’s not like I’m Chimney or something. I can keep this from Hen.” Karen watches as Eddie gives her a deadpan stare, and she takes offense. “Hey! I can!” Eddie keeps staring at her, and after three more seconds, she deflates. “Okay, maybe I’d tell her, but what’s so bad that she can’t know? Hen can probably help us,” Karen starts optimistically because Hen is the smartest person Karen knows, so, of course, she can help them. Hen’s beautiful and kind and so smart and so caring, should Karen call her right now to tell her? But Eddie laughs bitterly and distracts Karen from reaching over to grab her phone as he takes another sip, swirling his wine around pitifully.
“It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” Eddie dismisses, and Karen’s forehead crumples as she looks at him. “Don’t be like that,” Eddie reaches out to pat her hand, and Karen twists her fingers to latch onto his wrist. She doesn’t catch it at first, but after a moment, she notices his heartbeat is going rabid, pulse racing. “It’s not a big deal. I’ll be – fine. It’ll pass.”
Karen blinks as Eddie pulls away suddenly, and she pulls her legs underneath herself as she turns to fully look at Eddie. “What will pass?”
Eddie rubs at his cheek, hands scratching at his mustache for a brief moment as his chest expands on an inhale. He’s staring sort of hazily into the distance, eyes glassy, and he speaks quietly, almost too quiet for Karen to hear over the music.
“That I’m in love with Buck,” Eddie says unthinkingly, so softly and warmly that Karen feels as if she’s intruding on a private moment, and then Eddie’s gaze sharpens as he sits up so quickly his wine sloshes over his hand. “Oh fuck,” he wheezes, and turns to look at Karen with panic loud and clear in his eyes as he realizes what he said.
Alarm bells are ringing in Karen’s ears, like Kill Bill sirens. She feels like she’s having an out-of-body experience, and she stares into the middle distance beyond where Eddie sits. She’s silent, even though internally, she’s screaming the loudest she’s ever screamed in her entire life. Her hands are by her side, but she’s itching to call Hen and yell down the line at her – did you know! Did you know Eddie loves Buck! He said it, he said it! – but she very bravely turns her head a fraction of an inch to the right to look Eddie dead in the eyes and nods slowly as she nonchalantly says, “Oh, really?”
Eddie grabs a pillow to smother himself as he groans loudly. Karen pats his shoulder, a little “there, there” thrown in for good measure when Eddie doesn’t resurface for a while.
It takes a solid five minutes of coaxing to get Eddie’s little face to pop back out from behind the pillow, his cheeks a ruddy red that Karen wants to coo at, but she knows not the time or place.
They sit there in silence, and Karen clears her throat gently as Eddie turns to look at her expectantly, his eyebrows turned down so majestically it reminds Karen of one of those princess movies that Mara loves. “So… Buck,” Eddie’s groan returns as he flushes and refuses to die down, and Karen has to hold back her squeal and manic-looking grin because are you kidding?
She has lived through more than enough lifetimes watching these two idiots dance around their feelings, and it’s as if Karen has finally caught the break of a lifetime hearing one of the idiots confess. Enough barbeques watching them chase each other around the backyard, enough terrible flirting and pining hidden behind the pretense of being just best friends, guys, leave it alone, enough co-parenting so perfectly that the entire PTA assumes they’re a married couple. Finally, finally.
“No, no, this is a good thing, Eddie! If you can say it to me, then you’re just one small step away from telling Buck,” Karen says, optimistic and mind whirling in a hundred different possibilities of how the two of them will finally get together, she can give Eddie the nudge he needs, when Eddie whips his head up, face horrified.
“Telling Buck? I’m dying with this, Karen. I’m going to my grave, having never said a word of this to him. If someone held a gun to my head and told me to confess to him, I’d take the bullet. If it was a choice between getting mauled alive by a bear or telling Buck how I feel, I’d go out into the woods slathered in honey. I –”
“Alright,” Karen interrupts with a hand up. “I think I get the picture.”
Eddie pauses.
“I’d spend an entire day with Taylor Kelly rather than tell Buck how I feel.”
“Jesus Christ, Eddie.”
Eddie downs the rest of his wine and sighs like a miserable dog. He turns his big cow eyes up at Karen, and she curses them for being so adorable.
“Please don’t tell Hen?”
Karen rubs at her temple. Fuck.
“I won’t tell Hen.”
Fuck.
Eddie seems relieved, closing his eyes as he nervously drums his fingers against the wine glass in his hand. Karen watches him for a moment and lets him figure it out. Gives him a moment.
It’s a big deal, Karen knows that. When you love as big and as deep as this, it’s overwhelming to finally admit it.
It doesn’t take Eddie too long. And as he says it, it’s quiet, and soft, and heartfelt, and he has a hint of a smile on his lips as he rubs at his chest.
“I love him, Karen.”
When Karen fell in love with Hen, saying the phrase was like a reflex, like a part of herself that she’d always known. I need to wash the dishes. I love her. What time is it? I love her. Where did I put my grocery list, my car needs to go in for service, and my nose is running. I love her, I love her, I love her.
It’s not a surprise to Karen that Eddie feels just as much, just as big.
“I do, I love him. And I don’t… I don’t know what to do with that,” Eddie’s bottom lip pouts just for a brief second before he swallows and clears his throat, and Karen watches silently as Eddie pulls himself together right in front of her, tying up his frayed edges until he’s tightly wound and hiding himself from the world again, and it hurts her to watch it.
“Eddie,” Karen murmurs, and Eddie shakes his head immediately as if he’s trying to cut himself off from this conversation. Karen leans in, putting her wine glass down to hold Eddie’s hand. He flashes his eyes to her before looking away. “Whenever you’re ready,” she reassures him, and Eddie looks back at her hesitantly. “We can talk about it whenever you’re ready.” She studies him for a moment before adding, “But, for the record, I think this is a wonderful thing, Eddie. And I think you’ll see that Buck feels the same way about you.”
It almost knocks Karen back when she sees the shine in Eddie’s eyes as he looks at her imploringly. He tightens his hand around hers, and she can’t help but pull him in for a hug.
Later, when Hen’s come over to drop off Chris and pick up Karen, the two of them are slightly more sober, and Karen pulls Eddie into another hard hug. He guffaws into it, holding on and squeezing for a moment before waving the Wilsons off and steering Chris to his bed. Karen waves back, watching the slump of Eddie’s shoulders as he closes the front door, and she clenches her jaw from the passenger seat, her kids dozing off in the backseat.
“Babe?” Hen asks, putting a careful hand on Karen’s thigh to get her attention. And Karen shakes her head for a brief second before holding onto Hen’s hand. “Everything alright?”
“I’m okay,” Karen reassures, running a finger over Hen’s knuckles. “I love you,” she blurts out, and Hen laughs as she leans to kiss her over the car console before she puts the car in reverse.
“I love you too,” Hen replies sweetly, and they make their way home with Karen holding her hand the whole time.
Karen’s thoughts race and race and race, picturing Eddie going to bed alone, the way he tried to bottle up all his feelings, thinking of Buck all by himself in his loft, the way they’re two threads cut from the same cloth.
When she gets ready for bed and lays down beside her wife, able to stare into her pretty eyes and kiss her soft lips, Karen feels so overwhelmingly lucky for a moment that it jolts right through her.
Is it so wrong of her to want this for her friends, too? Karen’s mind whirs as she thinks it over and starts to plot it out in her head, though when Hen leans over and makes her the little spoon, Karen gets a little distracted.
2.
Eddie’s reluctant, for obvious reasons, to do another wine night with Karen after the accidental love confession of a century he admitted last time, so she knows he’s been deliberately dodging her calls for the last few weeks before Karen finally wears him down and demands his company at her home with her favorite bottle of wine in tow.
Hen and Chimney are working a shift, so it ends up being Buck and Maddie, who offer their babysitting services to them, picking up the kids and taking them to the Han’s for a big sleepover. Karen watches, eagle-eyed, as the Buckleys walk into her home, and Buck beelines to hug Christopher first, swinging him around and getting yelps from the boy to put him down, even though Christopher’s laughter fills the halls. Denny got a big hug next, and then Mara was scooped up, Buck’s endearing smile brightening the room as Maddie thumps the back of his head.
Karen turns to catch Eddie’s response and sees the way his cheeks went rosy, and his eyelids drooped half-shut as he smiles widely at Buck with the kids. Maddie has Jee in her arms as she makes her way over to hug Karen, Jee wiggling around between them, clearly wanting to be with Mara and the boys. It isn’t a surprise that Buck snatches his niece seconds later, bringing her over to Eddie.
“You just want to see your Uncle Eddie, don’t you, bumble Jee?” Buck nods to Jee, pointing at Eddie, who blushes furiously. Karen’s surprised that Buck doesn’t ever comment on how Eddie literally lights up around him, it’s shockingly obvious and far too sweet.
Jee stares at Eddie before launching herself at his chest, and he laughs loudly before carefully taking her in his arms and wrapping her in a big hug. Karen doesn’t miss the look Buck gives the pair of them, something intense shining in his eyes as he hovers close to them.
Maddie asks the kids what they want for dinner, and she gets a different fast-food place announced by each child. Karen laughs as she hands Maddie a bottle of wine. “Oh?” Maddie asks, taking the bottle with a quirk of her eyebrow.
“Trust me, you deserve a lot more where that came from for taking care of this lot,” Karen mutters, and Maddie grins as she points at Buck.
“Oh, he’s thrilled, believe me. I think this might be a dream come true for Buck, to have the kids all together. We’re one step away from calling Harry over,” Maddie jokes, but they both watch as Buck scratches his neck and starts whistling. Eddie snorts beside him, the smile creeping along his face visible from space as he bounces Jee around.
Maddie puts her hands on her hips. “Buck. Did you invite Harry over tonight and not tell me?” Buck starts to splutter, excuses coming out one by one, and Maddie rolls her eyes. “Fine,” she interrupts him, and Karen watches Chris and Denny fist bump. “You’re dealing with bedtime.”
The siblings poke at one another, and before it can escalate, Jee escapes from Eddie and starts running around the house. It’s nearly impossible to catch her in her manic state, they all know from experience, but Buck’s bolting into the kitchen to chase her as Maddie corrals the other kids into the car. Buck’s victorious only a little while later, carrying a shrieking Jee upside down, and Karen sees how Eddie’s mouth falls into a little “o” as he watches them hurry after the others. They wave once they’re all set, and Karen can’t miss how Eddie lingers at the door, watching Buck pull out with the girls in his Jeep while Maddie drives the boys.
It takes two glasses of wine for Eddie to start, only an hour later. Karen, of course, nudges him in the right direction.
“It’s so cute seeing the kids together,” she says innocently, and Eddie beams brightly.
He’s got a bright look in his eyes as he nods vigorously. “I can’t believe how well they all get along. And getting to see Denny be such a great big brother with Mara, how happy she is. God, and now Jee’s growing up so fast; she keeps bossing Chris around, it’s hilarious. I don’t know. It kind of feels –”
“Perfect?” Karen finishes, and Eddie laughs.
“Yeah. Yeah. Magical,” Eddie says on a deep exhale, and he steals a sip of his wine as he smiles down into his glass.
Karen’s barely had anything to drink so far, so it isn’t hard for her to realistically feign nonchalance as she twirls the wine around her glass. “It’s nice that Buck’s so involved, you know? I always forget he hasn’t got one of his own,” Karen mentions, deliberately stoking the flames as Eddie inhales sharply.
He swallows harshly, his Adam’s apple bobbing as Karen turns her head to hide her giddy smile behind her hair. Meddler, she can hear Hen say. “What do you mean?” Eddie asks sharply, and Karen lets out a steady breath as she smooths out her expression into a blank slate, turning back to him.
“Oh, you know,” she says casually. “We’ve all got kids, school runs, and teenage drama, while he’s still free as a bird. So to speak,” Karen adds and watches as Eddie’s face immediately scowls.
“Not really,” Eddie responds tightly. Karen raises an eyebrow, an oh? and it’s just enough to hook Eddie in. “He’s there for Christopher. He has to be. He knows that. For birthdays, holidays. Christmas, Halloween. He helped me chaperone at the school dance, remember.” Ah, Karen’s well aware. Buck and Eddie both acted like teenagers on a first date, according to Hen’s teasing, and there’s a picture of them standing together, posing at the camera while smiling widely that Hen showed Karen with a pointed look. “I’m just saying,” Eddie adds, with a final wave of his hand, “Buck’s… Buck. He’s Christopher’s Buck.” Nodding as if he’s made his point, Eddie takes a sip of his wine and leans back on the couch, face pinched.
Like taking candy from a baby, Karen thinks, a twinkle in her eye, as she turns to face Eddie more fully, head in her hand as she muses at him. “Huh, that makes sense. When you think of it, Buck’s such a great guy, isn’t he?”
For a split second, Karen worries Eddie’s onto her. He turns to her, face in disbelief as he stares, and Karen’s mouth tightens – until Eddie huffs out a laugh.
“Obviously,” Eddie says emphatically, and Karen sees his empty wine glass thud on the table as he leans back and turns to face her, a serious expression on his face. “Buck’s – Buck’s the best. He comes over for dinner and stays the night and makes breakfast for us, even though he’s on the couch, and it’s fucking up his back, and he doesn’t ever get enough sleep. He figures out coverage for me so I can be home with Chris and doesn’t complain about it, ever. He had to deal with Pepa swearing down the line at a mechanic for overcharging her, and he just nodded his head and drove her around town for a whole weekend when I was covering a shift.”
Eddie goes on for a while. Like, a really long time. It’s embarrassing, really, but this was exactly what Karen wanted from him.
“What else do you like about Buck?” Karen asks after yet another of Eddie’s rants, barely concealing her glee, but Eddie doesn’t notice as he opens his mouth again.
That’s how it goes. And even though Karen hears far too much about Buck, enough to make her feel a little sick over their clear devotion to one another, it’s worth it to see Eddie shine so joyfully, love pouring out of him as he unpacks every detail of Buck he cares about.
His hands. Smile. The way his eyes crinkle on a laugh. The random facts he recites in the middle of the night as they’re all trying to go to sleep in the bunks. His chocolate chip cookie recipe. How he holds Christopher tight in a hug and shows up every time he needs him. How Buck puts Eddie together, holds him together, lets him fall apart, and helps him figure out how the pieces should go back. His birthmark, his terrible sense of humor, his inappropriate timing. How much he loves his family, the way he puts his soul into every rescue.
How he makes Eddie feel.
“How does Buck make you feel?” Karen asks, and Eddie pauses.
“Like I’m worth it.” He says hoarsely, and Karen’s heart hurts as she watches the way Eddie says it, marveling at it as if he’s unsure whether it’s warranted or not.
Swallowing, Karen pats his hand. “You are.” She says stubbornly, and Eddie lets out a slow, soft smile.
“Yeah I… I think I’m getting that,” Eddie agrees, and he lets Karen pull him into a hug while he laughs.
The next morning, while Eddie’s still half-asleep on the couch and Karen’s in the kitchen, drinking her coffee and putting on a fresh pot for Eddie, she hears the front door knock and turns the corner to find Eddie opening it up. Buck’s on the other side, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, as he ushers the kids in and starts recapping their night together, from their snacks eaten to movies watched to games played. Karen hugs Chris, kisses Denny’s head, and holds Mara tightly before the three of them commandeer the living room and TV. Buck wanders into the kitchen and helps himself to a mug of coffee, still rambling, while Eddie runs a hand through his hair and smooths his shirt down. Karen watches keenly as Buck makes Eddie’s coffee first, before his own. There’s a glean in Eddie’s eyes as he takes the mug eagerly like it’s precious, and he savors it in his hands and waits for Buck to take a sip of his own coffee before he drinks.
“Did you guys have a nice night?” Buck asks, a smile on his lips as he looks at Karen, gaze darting to Eddie before returning, as if he’s making sure the man’s still there, still okay, and Karen fizzes around her grin.
“Yeah,” she agrees enthusiastically. “Yeah, I think we had a great night.” Buck smiles widely and then yelps as he spills some coffee on the counter and grabs a paper towel to clean it up. That gets him going, and then he’s telling them about how someone sued a fast-food restaurant for the temperature of their coffee once, and Karen sneaks a glance over and –
Yep. Eddie’s staring at Buck like he put the sun in the sky, just for him.
Karen sips her coffee.
3.
Hen puts a firm hand on Karen’s arm, pausing her as she rushes to light another candle in the living room. Karen raises an eyebrow at her wife pointedly while she waits for Eddie to show up.
“You’re up to something.” Hen states and Karen freezes. She looks away before meeting Hen’s gaze, remembering a moment too late how that’s Karen’s tell. Hen lets her know, and she curses herself a million times in her head when Hen dips her chin knowingly and gives Karen a pointed look.
“What makes you say that?” Karen asks loftily, and Hen snorts as she releases her wife’s arm before wrapping a hand around her waist. It does the trick and distracts Karen; she lets herself get tugged into the hold, and she leans in for a peck. Hen closes the distance, dropping an achingly sweet kiss to her lips, her cheeks, and Karen smiles dreamily.
But then Hen keeps talking.
“Because,” her wife says slowly, lovingly, dropping a kiss to Karen’s nose as she continues, “it’s either that, or you’re trying to have the world’s worst love affair with Eddie Diaz,” Hen smirks, and Karen gapes.
She looks around, and okay, fine, maybe she’s not being subtle because there are red roses in a vase on the table and candles lit everywhere, and the kids are at her parent's place, and Hen’s going to Chimney and Maddie’s for dinner and Eddie’s coming over for wine night – but it’s not like any other wine night.
Because Karen invited another familiar face.
“Look,” Hen says, and Karen turns her most innocent, wide eyes up at her wife. “Put those away,” Hen motions to Karen’s face immediately, and Karen pouts. “Fine, I take that back,” Hen sighs, and Karen grins. “You still have to spill, though. What is it you’re plotting?”
Karen doesn’t say a word; she just looks guiltily at Hen. Her wife’s eyes narrow at her.
“Alright then, it’s something you can’t say. You can’t say anything, why? Probably because you’re not allowed to, because someone said something to you and told you not to tell me. And it has to be someone close to both of us, someone you care about otherwise, you’d just tell me anyway. You’ve spent the most time with Eddie, so it’s fair to assume it’s something he said, especially if he’s coming over tonight for wine night and all of… this. Eddie’s a pretty private person, so I understand him trusting you with something, and you honor that, but what? He’s already told us all about stuff with Kim and Marisol and his parents, so it’s not that. And then you’ve got all this romantic stuff around, which doesn’t make sense unless you’re trying to set him up with someone, and they’ll be here, too. It would have to be someone you know well to get them to come to your house at this time of night, and probably someone you trust enough to be sure they’d actually be a good fit or Eddie and – oh my god. Oh my god, is it Buck? Did Eddie tell you he likes Buck?” Hen looks at Karen frantically, and when she sees the way Karen’s still holding her breath, she points her finger and jumps. “Did Eddie tell you that he loves Buck?”
“Oh, thank god you got it,” Karen exhales deeply, and Hen covers her mouth. Karen instantly holds her wife in place. “You can’t say a word, not even to Eddie. He can’t know, you know,” Karen pleads, and Hen nods, eyes wide.
They stare at one another, and then there’s a knock at the door, and Karen yelps.
“I’ll go get that, shall I?” Hen offers and Karen pulls her back quickly.
“You know nothing, and I didn’t say anything,” Karen whispers as Hen zips her lips and hands the key to Karen. She pockets it, then leans up and kisses Hen. Hen slips her a hint of tongue, and it makes Karen a little dizzy until there’s a second knock at the door.
Karen leaps over to the door as she hears her wife’s pretty laugh behind her. Clearing her throat, she opens it and sees –
“Buck,” Karen greets warmly, and he smiles as he reaches over and gathers her in a hug. “Come in,” she opens the door wider, but Buck lingers in the doorway. Hen comes into view and smiles at him, too, pulling him into a hug.
“You coming in?” Karen repeats, confused, as Buck stays where he is and hands them a bottle of wine. It’s red, and Karen reads the label and bites her lip. Eddie’s favorite brand, of course it is.
“I can’t stay,” Buck offers apologetically, but he’s got on cologne, and his curls are cute and styled perfectly over his forehead, and Karen’s eyes narrow. “Sorry, I just wanted to drop this off and say hi.” Buck looks inside, over Hen’s shoulder at the couch, and then leans back on the balls of his feet. “Eddie not here?”
Hen rolls her eyes, and Karen elbows her. “Oh, not yet, but why can’t you stay?” Karen frowns, and Buck holds out his hands defensively.
“No, none of that, Wilson. I don’t want the sad doe eyes,” Buck waves and takes a step back, and Hen snorts as Karen drops the act and glares instead.
Buck was meant to stay, not leave immediately. He was supposed to be here, and then Karen was going to fake an emergency and leave the two of them alone while she went to the movies, and they’d either confess their love in the candlelight and hopefully go back to their place rather than desecrate her home, but this? No. No, this is not what Karen spent thirty bucks and an afternoon preparing for.
Before Karen can think of a way to curse Buck and yank him into her home, there’s a loud call from behind them, “Buck!” reverberating in the evening air.
Eddie’s speedwalking up the drive, bottle in hand, as he looks at the three of them, gaze lingering on Buck and doing a not-so-subtle sweep over him. “Hey, what are you doing here?” He asks delightfully, coming to a stop right by Buck’s side, their shoulders nudging together.
“Karen invited me,” Buck turns to Karen briefly before returning his sights to Eddie, like he can’t bear to look away, and Karen watches them like a nature documentary, hand tightening around Hen’s wrist, who winces in response.
Eddie’s eyebrows raise as he looks over at Karen. She attempts an innocuous look as she smiles back. “Just thought it might be nice,” Karen offers, and before Eddie can narrow his eyes at her, Buck’s nodding and stealing his attention again.
“I can’t stay, but I wanted to drop off something for you guys to enjoy in my absence,” Buck adds, pointing to the bottle in Karen’s other hand, and Eddie’s gaze drops to it as he smiles.
“My favorite?” Eddie asks hopefully, and Buck grins widely, his shiny teeth on display, and his birthmark matches his lips in a way Karen’s very aware of because Eddie’s staring at it.
“Obviously,” Buck says, and Eddie’s eyes crinkle in the corner as he stares at him, smiling helplessly. The two of them get stuck in a round of the most intense eye contact Karen’s ever seen, and she’s too sober for this.
Waving a hand behind her, Karen tries again to get them inside. “Come on, not even one glass?” Karen waves the bottle around at Buck, and Eddie looks to Buck earnestly, head tilted to the side as he joins Karen in her efforts.
Buck laughs and scratches the back of his neck. “I know the deal,” he says, and then he steps back to nudge Eddie forward, swapping their positions. His hand pushes at the small of Eddie’s back, and a red flush pops up on Eddie’s cheeks as Karen squeezes at Hen’s wrist a second time. This time, Hen lets out a small noise of pain before clearing her throat to cover it.
“It’s wine night, sacred Karen-Eddie time,” Hen nods at this as Buck continues. “Besides, I promised to be the designated driver for Ravi and Lucy tonight; it’s basically a night of all my friends getting drunk except me.” Buck winks and finally, finally, takes his hand from Eddie’s hip and steps back again. “Oh, um. Eddie,” the man in question whips around to stare at Buck, eyes big and brown and doting. “If you need a ride, call me. I got you, okay?” Buck nods seriously, and Eddie swallows harshly.
“Okay,” Eddie parrots, a little dazed, as Hen clears her throat and grabs her jacket.
“I think that’s my cue to be off, too,” Hen says, and she kisses Karen before following Buck out, stopping to hug Eddie goodnight. “Mind dropping me off at the Han’s?” Hen asks Buck, who throws an arm over Hen’s shoulder and kisses her cheek obnoxiously. Buck hovers, looking at Eddie, then steps up to hug Karen before turning to Eddie and holding his shoulder firmly.
“Call me,” and then Buck’s off, getting into his Jeep, and Karen waves to them both while Eddie stares.
Once they’re on the road and the Jeep’s tail lights go around a corner, Karen turns to Eddie, and he steps inside. Karen passes Buck’s bottle of wine silently to Eddie, who holds it reverently in his hands. He leans against the front door while Karen goes around and blows out the candles. Thankfully, Eddie doesn’t notice, just shifts to sit on the couch woodenly and rubs at his neck, letting his hand rest on his shoulder.
Sitting down, Karen pats Eddie’s knee, and he jolts to look up at her. She smiles at him knowingly, and he groans, dropping his head into his hands and rubbing the heel of his palms against his eyes.
“How obvious was it?” Eddie moans, and Karen hums.
“Well,” she starts, and Eddie groans louder.
“Actually, please don’t say anything.”
Karen mimes zipping up her lips. She looks down at the wine and winces.
“I’ll go get the large glasses.”
“Please.”
4.
You couldn’t technically call it a wine night. Wine nights are exclusively Eddie-and-Karen time, sat in either of their living rooms, typically sans kids, gossiping for several hours to the latest album they’re obsessed with. But screw it – Karen’s already a few too many glasses of wine deep into the evening to really care about technicalities right now. She’s alone with Eddie in their little booth, their friends having all fucked off to who knows where so goddamnit, Karen’s calling it a wine night.
“Eddie,” Karen says, though it comes out a little slurred. It does the job, though, Eddie perks up and looks at Karen, turning from where he was watching Buck laugh at the bar as he ordered their next round. Hen was in the restroom with Maddie, and Chimney was trying to get the jukebox to work. It’s just Eddie and Karen. Wine night.
“Wine night,” Karen explained, and Eddie frowned at her but nodded back encouragingly.
“Wine night?” He repeats, and Karen nods enthusiastically.
“Wine night!” She exclaims, and Eddie laughs.
“I don’t get it,” he starts, but then Karen’s leaning over and laying a hand flat on the table in front of him.
“You need to get Buck, Eddie.” She says seriously, and Eddie opens and closes his mouth like a little fish. Ha, that’s silly. Cow eyes, fish mouth. He’s a cow-fish, Karen thinks, his moon eyes wide, and then she shakes her head. The line for the women’s bathroom is only so long, and Chimney will eventually figure out the jukebox. And Buck will be back with their drinks, and then Karen’s chance will be lost.
“What,” Eddie starts, but Karen interrupts.
“Get him before someone else does, Eddie. Look at him,” they both turn and watch as Buck taps his credit card on the bar top, dancing on the spot and wiggling his hips, mouthing incorrectly to the lyrics as the bartender makes their drinks. Karen winces, turning back, but she catches how Eddie’s face is so soft and open, curling at the edges with sappiness, and Karen snaps her fingers in his face. Eddie jars back and looks at her, bewildered.
“Do you understand?” Karen hisses, and Eddie frowns back heavily.
“Wait,” Eddie says, face haunted as he thinks. “Someone else? Who else? Does Buck like someone? Does someone like Buck?” Eddie starts rambling, and Karen raises an impatient eyebrow.
“Come on, Diaz. Think about it. What if Buck starts dating again, don’t you want to tell him before someone else comes along? Tommy’s old news by now, Buck might start to try again,” Karen warns him, and Eddie’s mouth twists in an unpleasant pout as he pulls a vicious gulp from his beer.
Karen’s got him now; surely she does, and she goes for the jugular to try to seal the deal. “Do you want to lose your chance here? I’ve heard Maddie say she’s going to set him up on a date with Josh soon if he doesn’t find someone else first.” Lies, Karen’s a huge, enormous liar who lies, and this will probably bite her in the ass, but what if she’s the hero here? What if she gets the two biggest, most oblivious idiots in Los Angeles together? The mayor will give her a medal. Her wife will take her on a second honeymoon, and she’ll get a key to the city, and they’ll let her go to space whenever she wants in recognition of her work for world peace.
“Josh?” Eddie asks, spitting it out like it’s spoiled milk in his mouth, and Karen gives him a look. “Maddie said that?” Wisely, Karen doesn’t say a word here, but it’s fine because Eddie’s talking to himself, anyway. “He doesn’t like Josh, not like that. He’s never mentioned him. What would he want with Josh? They’ve hung out before, and there wasn’t anything romantic there at all.”
The lady doth protest too much.
“Maybe he’ll give it a shot,” Karen slaps her hand on the table again as if she’s a detective about to get her suspect to confess. “Maybe Buck will call him, and they’ll go on a date, then another, a third, fourth, and you’ll just have to watch it. Do you want that, Eddie?”
Eddie’s face is blank, processing, and Karen takes a deep breath as she sits back, realizing how intense she’s being. Clearing her throat delicately, she backtracks a little. “You know, whatever. I mean, who knows? Just uh, think about it. If you want.”
He’s frozen in a deep frown right as Hen finally gets back to them. Maddie goes to collect her husband from his misery at the jukebox while Hen looks at the two of them, and she sighs audibly.
“I’ll go help Buck with the drinks,” Hen announces, rubbing Karen’s shoulders as she moves past her seat, and then Karen pats Eddie’s hand for a moment, the guilt twisting up her stomach.
“Hey,” she says softly, coming more and more to her senses. “That’s all speculation; it doesn’t mean anything. Ignore me, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be pushing you,” Karen feels quite shitty all of a sudden for forcing Eddie to make a move if he isn’t ready to, but Eddie doesn’t seem to be upset with her. No, no, if anything, he’s got resolve on his face as he looks at Buck, heading this way with Hen.
The two of them return and dump the round on the table, and Buck smiles, arms outstretched, as Maddie and Chimney finally return. “I got us drinks! Here, Eddie, you have to try this,” Buck hands his cocktail over to Eddie, who looks at Buck’s hand. “Come on,” Buck encourages softly, and Eddie reaches over to hold it, his whole hand covering Buck’s and tangling their fingers together.
Karen watches, not moving, not breathing, as Eddie locks his eyes on Buck’s as he takes a sip, their hands still intertwined on the glass. Buck’s chest stutters on a breath and Karen’s mouth falls open as she watches, her gasp thankfully hidden by the music playing.
Eddie pushes the drink to the table, their hands finally pulling apart, and wipes his mouth. “Delicious,” he finally says, voice hoarse. Buck doesn’t respond.
Standing up, Eddie keeps his eyes on Buck and then holds a hand out to him. “Come with me to the pool table?” He could have said anything, Karen bets, and Buck would still have done the same response: he nods eagerly, getting up and taking Eddie’s hand as he leads them away.
Karen watches them, leaning this way and that to catch sight of them in the crowd before finally turning back to her drink, smiling widely into it. Hen knocks a shoulder into her, eyebrows raised over a pleasant smile, and Karen gets a little lost staring at her wife, the tempting, gentle curve of her lips, and she runs a thumb over Hen’s cheekbone.
“Uh, guys?” Chimney says, breaking the moment. Maddie is snickering beside him as he looks blankly at them all. “What the fuck was that?”
5.
It’s a few weeks later before Karen and Eddie can do another wine night. They had too many school projects and work shifts and parents visiting and mayhem all around them to coordinate anything for a while, but when Eddie lets her know that Chris is gone on a camping trip and he has the house to himself, Karen’s kissing Hen and her kids goodnight before making her way over.
She’s had some time to reflect after how she handled everything last time, and she’s decided to drop her scheming. She shouldn’t be trying to nudge Eddie to confess before he’s ready, or make Eddie gush over Buck, or try to force them together like Barbies, or, worst idea of all, get Eddie to act out in jealousy. She’ll let them figure it out. And maybe, in five years, if they’re still not together, she’ll blow up California and put them all out of their misery.
By the time Karen’s walking up to Eddie’s place, he’s already got the door open, phone pressed to his cheek as he hugs her and invites her in. He’s got a lock of hair flopping over his forehead, and he looks a little flushed as he talks into the phone.
“I know, Buck. Yeah. Of course, whatever you think. I trust you,” Eddie says gently, and there’s a pause as Eddie listens to Buck, evidently on the other end, and a bright smile carves itself into Eddie’s face. Karen watches it like a sunrise. “Okay. Yeah, okay. Great. Yeah, you too, have a good time. Love – love you guys. Bye.”
Karen tries not to widen her eyes as she desperately looks away from Eddie as he hangs up, but she still catches the way Eddie rubs his face and tugs at his hair. “Buck volunteered to go camping with Chris and his class for the next two days. He wanted to know if I thought it would be a good idea for Chris to stay up with the others past his bedtime.”
Silence. It’s the most damning piece of evidence of how their Diaz-Buckley family dynamic works, just like the shared calendar the three of them use, and it’s almost nauseous in how sweet it is. In a moment of weakness, Karen blurts out the first thing she can think of. “That’s nice. Great weather we’re having, isn’t it?”
“Karen, we live in Los Angeles.”
“Oh, right.”
Eddie falls onto the couch, and Karen sits beside him. She does what she did the first time around, what she should have kept to.
She lets Eddie come to her.
“I think I’m ready to talk about it,” Eddie says to the fireplace, and Karen inhales sharply before trying to let it out slowly, calmly. She is a level-headed, responsible adult. She can be composed, chill.
“Tell me everything,” she demands immediately and then winces while Eddie lets out a little laugh. He rubs a hand over his face, catching himself rubbing at his mustache before he sits up and clears his throat.
“I think I’ve been in love with him for a long time, Karen.” Eddie starts, a wondering look in his eyes as he starts to pour himself out in front of her, and she clenches her fist tightly because beyond her being excited for her friends or wanting to see this all unfold, she’s being trusted by Eddie right now and that means the world to her. “Before he came out, before the lightning, the shooting, the will,” the will? What will? “I think it’s been him for a long time; I just didn’t think it could ever be like this. Like wanting him to be the first person I see in the morning, wanting to make mistakes and know he’ll be there to help me fix them, to grow old with him, and to embarrass Chris with him. He’s my person, you know? I just…” Eddie swallows heavily, and they aren’t even a glass into wine night yet, and this has already clinched the top spot for best wine nights in history.
It's not Karen’s fault she gets a little misty-eyed as she listens to Eddie talk about Buck, about how much his love expands and takes over him, how he feels it in the air, the wind, in the sun shining down on his face. She tries to subtly wipe at her eyes as Eddie keeps going, his smile widening as his face crumbles hopelessly. “I’ve spent so long alone, trying to be the best version of myself for Chris, for my friends, the 118, and myself, and it took a long time for me to believe that I was doing that. And when I finally started feeling like I was worth something, it just wasn’t enough. Because then I wanted to be worthy of Buck, of his love, his care. And that’s a whole other ballpark. I don’t know if I’ll ever be worthy of that, and it terrifies me to think about it most of the time, but I want to spend the rest of my life trying.”
“I think you’re worthy,” Karen implores. “I know it.”
Eddie smiles briefly before looking down from the mantle above the fireplace and staring directly at Karen for the first time since he started talking.
“This won’t pass, Karen.”
“I know, Eddie.”
“Yeah,” Eddie nods, and he stares across the room to the mantle again at the framed picture of Buck and Christopher standing on it. It’s beside another picture, one of the three of them dressed up for a school dance. There are pictures on the mantle, and magnets on the fridge, and stickers on Eddie’s phone, and a will, apparently, and Buck’s laugh in Christopher’s smile and Eddie’s heart tucked in Buck’s hand. “Yeah.”
+1
The rest of that wine night was quieter than usual, music playing in the background as two friends reminisced about old times together. Karen hugged Eddie tight as she left that evening, her mind in a haze as she mulled over Eddie’s confession to her, and she fell into Hen’s arms when her wife got off work the next morning.
It was a surprise to her, then, when only a handful of days later, Eddie asked if they could do another wine night as soon as possible. Karen agrees, though given the short notice, the kids were still home with them, as was Hen, so Eddie comes over for dinner, too. He plays with Denny and Mara for a little while before they go to bed while Hen washes dishes and Karen dries.
When bedtime was announced and hugs given, Hen pats both their cheeks. “There’s no way I’m surviving one of your emergency wine nights. If you need me, I’ll be in our room, babe,” Hen says, kissing Karen’s cheek before waving them goodnight. To be fair, the last time they did an emergency wine night it was because Helena called Eddie at the same time that Karen’s boss berated her publicly at work, and it was an ugly night for everyone else involved. Karen and Eddie had a great time letting of steam, though.
There’s something to Eddie’s energy that whole evening that Karen can’t put her finger on. He’s a little more frenetic than usual; he’s had a glow to his eyes all evening, and a smile hardly left his face. Karen can only speculate for so long before she needs answers.
“So,” Karen starts as she pours them a glass each. “What brought this on?”
Eddie takes his glass, and the same smile still lingers on his face. “What, we need a reason for wine nights now?” He asks, and Karen scoffs.
“Obviously not, but this seemed pretty sudden and so soon after the last one. What’s going on?” Karen takes a small sip from her glass, watching Eddie bashfully look down into his own.
“Nah, nothing,” Eddie brushes off, and then he tells Karen about a patient they treated the day before, and then he launches into a story about how one of Christopher’s teachers got caught stealing laptops from the school, and Karen tells him about her coworker getting moved to another team which basically means he was fired, and after a few hours they’ve gone through all their gossip, and several glasses of wine.
There’s a brighter shine to Eddie’s eyes now, and Karen offers for him to crash on the couch when she gets up and stretches, yawning slightly, but Eddie shakes his head vehemently.
“No, no, it’s okay, I’ll get a ride,” he says, staring intently at his phone until he’s satisfied he has done whatever he needed to to get a lift home. Karen puts her hands on her hips, narrowing her eyes at him, and Eddie whistles innocently.
After a few minutes of this back and forth, Eddie finally cracks. “What?” He asks defensively, and Karen harrumphs.
“What’s with you tonight?” Karen accuses, and Eddie shakes his head.
“I’m normal, nothing weird going on with me,” he reassures casually. It’s so bizarre for Eddie to say it like that, but he’s stubborn about it, so Karen lets it go.
She’s got one foot on the stairs as she raises her hands. “Alright, alright,” she relents, and then she comes back once she’s changed for bed and has a blanket over her shoulders. Eddie’s on his phone, looking intently at something, though he closes it once he hears Karen walk in.
“Ride’s around the corner,” Eddie announces, getting his things together in a rush and moving to hug Karen hurriedly.
“Woah,” she says, stumbling slightly as Eddie pulls away to open the front door. “Where’s the fire?”
Eddie opens the door, even though no one knocked, but it’s like he has a sixth sense because on the other side of it, with his fist raised, is Buck.
“Oh,” Buck and Karen both say in unison, and Eddie’s whole face lifts as he looks at Buck. Karen almost feels like she’s intruding, then she worries if maybe Eddie had a little too much to drink and will do something he regrets when Eddie –
Oh. Oh. They’re, um.
Eddie’s kissing Buck.
Karen feels a little weird watching them, kind of like it’s her brothers making out, but she also can’t actually believe it’s really happening live, right in front of her eyes. She doesn’t take in the details, like how Eddie presses into Buck and lifts a little onto his tiptoes or how Buck curls a hand over Eddie’s waist and into his back. Instead, Karen’s just open-mouthed, watching, as if she’s seeing Bigfoot for the first time. Though Buck does claim he once saw Bigfoot, that’s beside the point.
The point being, Eddie and Buck are still kissing.
By the time they finally part, shallowing breathing and slightly out of breath, the two of them are gleaming behind their smiles, and Buck does a double take when he sees Karen behind Eddie’s shoulder.
“Karen, hey! Sorry, didn’t see you there,” Buck says, waving with one hand as the other remains planted on Eddie’s hip.
“I live here,” Karen says faintly, and Buck nods seriously.
“Right, my bad. How’s work?”
Karen raises both eyebrows and throws her hands out between them both. “How’s work? What are you talking about?” Karen hisses, aware of the kids sleeping upstairs, and Eddie and Buck both look up at the ceiling as Karen whispers. “What is going on? You – you kissed! You kissed?”
There’s a look on Eddie’s face, one Karen’s never seen before, and it makes him look years younger. It looks a lot like love, happiness, relief.
Oh.
“Oh, you told him?” Karen asks Eddie, who blushes furiously before nodding, clenching his fingers tight in Buck’s shirt.
“Figured it’s only right you knew first, or, well, second, after Chris. But, uh, surprise?” Eddie waves to Buck, who gives them a thumbs up, and it finally snaps Karen out of her shock.
She laughs, shaking her head as she clasps her hands together.
“You guys!” She exclaims, and they all hug in a little circle, Karen making them all jump up and down.
Buck lets them know that Chris is in the Jeep, snoozing, and they’ll need to get him to bed soon. Karen wishes she didn’t see the heated look flash in Eddie’s eyes over Buck saying that, but she’s giving them a pass for today, and today only.
The two of them head back to the Jeep, and their headlights disappear down the street. Karen grabs two clean wine glasses, fills them up, and joins her wife upstairs as she tries to tamp down on her grin.
In bed, Hen’s reading a book. Her attention jumps to Karen the moment she’s in the room, and she closes her book to roll over and smile at Karen.
“Oh, a Pinot Noir? Is the wine night being extended to include me now?” Hen teases and Karen sets her glass down so she can hold Hen’s face in her hands. Hen lets out a little “babe?” as Karen moves, and she stares up sweetly while Karen holds her.
“Everything in my life includes you, Hen,” Karen reassures, watching the softness melt over Hen’s face. Karen kisses her lips, cheek. “And I’m better for it.”
Karen lays in bed. She giggles as Hen tickles her. They sip wine and talk about Hen’s new book, a murder mystery set in an old people’s home. Buck recommended it to her, and she liked the main character. She talks, and Karen listens to the sound of her voice. Thinks about Eddie for a moment and smiles to herself because she bets he’s doing the exact same thing over at his place. Hen sips her wine, laughs over a dumb comment Karen makes, and brushes the hair from Karen’s face.
I love her. I love her. I love her.