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“And what did you get up to on your summer vacation, Seresin?” Carlisle asked, flashing a toothy grin at Jason as he slumped into the chair he had claimed around the table in their team’s briefing room.
Bradley was a step behind him, the two of them some of the last to arrive for their first official after action review as a full unit since the leave they were forced to take. He settled into the chair to Jason’s right with a suppressed laugh over the communal groan from the others present in response to that question, assuming that they had each been subjected to a similar interrogation during the course of everyone trickling in and were getting a little tired of the repeated back and forth now.
“Oh, you know,” Jason began with a nonchalant shrug, throwing an arm over the back of Bradley’s chair as he made himself more comfortable. “Logged some quality time with my mom, soaked up some of that sweet ass Cali sunshine, found out my best friend’s spent the last decade secretly hooking up with my baby brother… pretty standard stuff really.”
“Jesus, Jace,” Bradley muttered, cringing over the horrified silence the room had been stunned into. “I thought you said you weren’t going to tell them.”
“I said I was thinking about not telling them,” Jason corrected. “Turns out I still need you to suffer.”
Bradley huffed out a defeated laugh. “You’re not getting any more handouts from this, man, you’ve milked that shit for all it’s worth the last couple weeks.”
“A goddamn decade, Bradshaw.”
“Yeah, I’m aware.”
“And you didn’t even come clean yourself, I had to call you out on-”
“Okay,” Bradley said in a loud and obnoxious tone to draw attention, shifting his chair far away enough that Jason was temporarily disbalanced by losing the support he had been leaning on. “Don’t we have a mission to debrief? Where’s Alvez and Davis?” He added once he clocked that their team leader and the Lieutenant Commander in charge of their unit weren’t yet present. “Let’s get this show on the road, huh?”
Carlisle pointed across the table at him, as if he wanted to make clear that it was naïve to think he might be let off the hook that easily. “I have so many questions.”
“Sucks you aren’t getting any answers.”
A crimson heat crept up the back of Bradley’s neck while he worked to avoid everyone’s gaze. He felt caught out and put on the spot by Jason making that announcement, even though he should have known to expect as much when his friend was feeling rawer over all of the secret keeping which had been going on behind his back than he appeared at face value. After all, once the initial shock and confusion had subsided for Jason, there came the realisation that the two people whom he trusted most in the world had been deceiving him so wholeheartedly about something so significant for longer than he could really fathom in one sitting. He was still a little peeved about the entire concept of them being anywhere close to romantically involved too, and that was without the added insult of Bradley refusing point blank to divulge anything about the true nature of his relationship with Jake until after he had Jake’s signoff about what he was and wasn’t allowed to share.
If it were up to him, Bradley wouldn’t have many reservations about bringing Jason into the fold on all the gnarly details, the highs and lows, the mundane, and the explicit, because despite all evidence to the contrary, secrets weren’t kept between them. He had his loyalty to Jake to factor in here as well though, and he couldn’t in good conscience have some big, confessional, tell-all conversation with his best friend until after Jake had had the chance to set whatever parameters he wanted for him to work within. Jason and Jake were brothers. Bradley had to imagine there were different rules to what they shared with each other than there were with him.
And then there was the fact that Jason was pushing for him to define the relationship when Bradley didn’t yet know where he and Jake now stood with one another. He had high hopes, of course, that they had finally figured things out and were going to give themselves a real shot at going the distance, he just wanted to make a point of actually having that conversation. Since Jake was still, so far as Bradley knew, out in the middle of the ocean on an aircraft carrier somewhere working on the mission he and his squad had been training for for the last few weeks, he had no idea when they were next going to get a chance to talk, let alone see each other in person. It was ironic that this shift in their relationship had taken place when only one of them had the downtime to spend thinking over the situation, not least because it was the one who didn’t do well with too much time to think. Jake had been busy shipping out to participate in what Bradley now knew (without ever having directly been told) was effectively a suicide mission though, so Bradley had had to accept not being situated at the very top of his current priorities list.
That wasn’t to say Bradley had spent the entirety of his leave just hanging around missing Jake.
He had missed him. With everything they had been through over the years though, that was a familiar state for Bradley to exist in. It was more the case therefore that Jake continued to live rent free in the back of his mind with more presence than usual whilst the majority of his focus was on dealing with the sudden, but somewhat expected, death of his uncle.
It had been a long time coming.
Ice’s battle with cancer spanned decades, almost as many as Bradley had been alive.
Bradley was glad he wasn’t suffering anymore. That was the one small mercy carrying him through where the seemingly endless process of losing people he loved threatened to beat him into submission.
He had stayed beside Sarah for every second of it, glad that he was around when she most needed the support. Jason had stayed for most of it too, his only departure coming a few days prior to their return to work, to satisfy his need to dote on his mother. The two of them had more or less flanked Sarah through the hardest parts, at the funeral especially, and in the moments where it later hit that the love of her life was gone.
Though they saw Jake with Mav and the rest of the squad whom they were working with in passing at the funeral, there hadn’t been much time or opportunity to stop the rest of the world and talk about any of the things that they needed to. If not for Jake strong-arming Bradley away from the crowd of well-wishers to steal some privacy for a break he hadn’t even known he needed until he was burying his head in Jake’s neck and breathing deeply through his fracturing composure, they might not have directly interacted all day. Jake took up position by Bradley on the opposite side to Sarah for the remainder of the funeral and departed long after everyone else had taken their leave with a silent goodbye in the form of a quick, perfunctory kiss only once duty compelled him to.
Even after that, they didn’t talk much, the concept of keeping in regular contact by calling or texting still a little too novel, given their history, for them to break the habit of a lifetime like it was nothing more than the flip of a switch. With a measure of trepidation, owing to their understanding that something big they weren’t supposed to know about was going down in the world of naval aviation, Bradley and Jason responded to Mav’s summons to meet him at the Hard Deck the night before they shipped out. Bradley lasted all of twenty minutes bonding with his uncle before he was mumbling a half-hearted promise that he would ‘be back in a minute’ and following Jake, who was more than transparent about the fact that he had simply been waiting for Bradley to break that entire time, straight out the door and all the way to his house on base without a single backwards glance or ounce of regret.
At no point did they veer into some soft, sweet, heartfelt kind of state which reclassified their fucking into lovemaking – that wasn’t possible when they were both so conscious of their pending separation – but they were a hell of a lot more tender than usual. Both in the moment, and afterwards when Jake was grumbling his way through cleaning up, and dragging Bradley back to bed without bothering to ask out loud if he was intending to stay the night, and leaving all the rest of it unspoken because they had an agreement about saving that conversation for when it was really needed.
Jason’s abundant displeasure over the dishevelled state Bradley returned to Sarah’s in the next morning did a lot of work to temper how outwardly Bradley showed his feelings about the great strides their relationship had started taking.
When he smiled in response to the complaints Jason voiced about the brand-new hickeys peeking out of the edge of his collar, Bradley ended up in a headlock as punishment.
That reaction had breezed past him at the time in favour of him contemplating the pattern developing, where Jake seemed to be staking a claim he had no plans on taking back. Now that Bradley thought about it however, his and Jason’s little talk discussing whether he would tell the team about his discovery had taken place before that morning. So, maybe it was the case that he had decided to drag out the punishment even further once he saw yet more evidence than he wanted of his brother and best friend’s sex life?
Whatever it was, Bradley couldn’t bring himself to care.
If a bit of judgement for his poor decision making from the team was the price that he had to pay for getting Jake exactly how he wanted, then he had no qualms going broke over the matter.
Bradley ignored the others as best he could whilst they waited for the last few stragglers to arrive and kick off their briefing therefore, less embarrassed over the way they were attempting to interrogate him than inclined to keep such matters private.
The small degree of vindication he did earn from being thrown into the spotlight like that was the fact that, as soon as the taunting gained some real momentum, his uncompromising silence only encouraging the guys to get more graphic with their questions over time, Jason looked more than a little regretful that he had been the one to broach this subject in the first place. It looked like his whole plan for making Bradley suffer had backfired spectacularly.
“Okay, okay,” Bishop waved for the others to be quiet, a devious gleam in his eye which had Bradley feeling nervous. “I just got to ask this and then we’ll let it go,” he promised even though Bradley knew for a fact that he was lying and that the team as a whole would never drop this entirely now that they knew about it. He arched his brows expectantly nonetheless, inviting him to get to the point. “Because you’ve told us some about some pretty nasty shit you’ve gotten up to in the past, and it ain’t like y’all usually keep secrets from each other…”
“I don’t like where this is headed,” Jason muttered.
“Have you ever bragged about fucking Seresin’s brother in front of Seresin without him knowing it’s his brother you’re on about?”
“No,” Bradley said with an awkward laugh, hating that he had to respond to that question where he had ignored all the others just to shut down the implication being made there about the transparency between him and Jason in every other respect of their friendship. “The fuck is wrong with you? Why would I do that?”
“I don’t know,” Haskell sucked on his teeth like he didn’t believe Bradley. “That was a pretty quick denial, Bradshaw…”
Jason twisted in his chair to eye Bradley suspiciously. “Have you?”
“No, man. What could I possibly gain from that?”
“Bradshaw, I swear to God-”
“Jace, if I was going to be that much of a dick about it, don’t you think I would’ve answered any one of your questions already instead of saying I can’t tell you anything ‘til I’ve cleared it with Jake first?”
“Oh, it’s Jake now, is it?” Bishop drawled to a round of laughter whilst Jason just harrumphed over the logic of that argument rather than admitting that Bradley was right.
“That’s literally his name, man, don’t make it weird.”
“Aw, Bradshaw,” Carlisle cooed. “Why so defensive?”
Bradley flipped him off just as the door opened behind them and breathed a silent sigh of relief when Alvez walked in and called them to attention, Davis and her little army of administrators a step behind him.
It wasn’t an easy debrief by any means, but so far as Bradley was concerned, it was a significant improvement over the speculation about him and Jake.
Having to wade through their mistakes as a unit, rehash the same arguments they had already had about who dropped the ball on intel gathering and why that hadn’t been picked up on soon enough to make a difference, and justify every shot they had fired as well as the ones they hadn’t… it was an exercise in frustration, designed to pick apart their faults until they figured out a way to learn from them as much as it was to improve the plan they were putting together in preparation for when they were given the greenlight to redeploy.
After their review was completed, Davis and her people led a mass exodus of the briefing room in a flurry of activity, eager to get the team back in action as soon as possible.
Their shared disappointment over the fact that they were still stuck waiting around for new orders meant that the team as a whole were slower off the mark to get moving. Bradley was first out of the door by some margin despite sharing in that feeling, eager himself to reclaim his phone from the security lockbox all electronics were stored in during their meetings. Just in case Jake might have reached out to confirm that he was home safe in the last hour or so that Bradley hadn’t been able to obsessively check it for updates.
There was nothing of note for him to see when he initially glanced over the notifications he had missed, something he had to stifle his disappointment over as the team started to catch up with him.
They headed down the hall towards the room their possessions cages were located in, boisterous and overexcited. Even while they were stuck on the bench, after all, there was work to be done. They had a million and one drills to run through to get back into their usual groove after so much downtime, something which Bradley was looking forward to for the simple fact that some hard exercise with his brothers would be a welcome distraction from everything else he had loitering in the back of his mind.
The room was decently sized for what it was. Nine floor-to-ceiling cages were spaced out three to a wall around the edges, six in active use on adjacent corners while the three spare were used for storage. A wide metal table sat in the centre of the room, random gear from multiple owners strewn all across it in the process of being cleaned or otherwise reorganised. The wall that the door was located on was littered with health and safety posters, photographs of different iterations of the team over the years since Alvez had been leading it, and a large calendar for the year, which detailed very little about their actual day-to-day schedule, but did record important dates for all six of them and their respective families. Alvez bought a new one every December and would spend the next few days copying it out, leaving it pristine and perfect for at least until the New Year when the rest of them gained access to it and his colour-coded system gradually descended into chaos.
Bradley made the most of the brief reprieve that he was allowed before the teasing over Jake resumed with increased fervour as Bishop, Carlisle, and Haskell talked over one another to loop Alvez in on what he had missed when the subject was originally broached. When his phone lit up with an incoming call from a blocked number, Bradley answered it with relish for the welcome excuse it provided to escape the amused and horror-filled degrees of judgement their team leader was sending his way.
“Sir, I’m calling to notify you of a service injury sustained by Captain Peter Mitchell,” a brusque voice explained after confirming Bradley’s identity in the process of him crossing to the opposite corner of the room from his cage to handle this conversation with a degree of privacy.
Bradley’s pulse spiked uncontrollably with how blindsided he felt. He had always known that he was one of two people listed as an emergency contact for Mav, but had more or less forgotten about it. This was the first time that he had ever actually received one of these calls. It was strange to feel so powerless all of a sudden. Bradley tried his best to stay composed regardless, pressing his free palm against the wall he was facing in search of strength. An ancient photo of one of his and Jason’s first missions working under Alvez stared back at him, everyone dirtied from the desert they had been working in at the time and looking much younger and less jaded by far than they did now.
“Captain Mitchell was involved in an emergency ejection scenario in active combat undertaken over the last few days,” the officer continued. “He is conscious and in a stable condition, but is in the process of being transferred for further examination of his right arm and shoulder.”
“Further…” Bradley echoed, his mind reeling over the wider implications of what he was being told here. “Is he- he’ll still be able to fly, right? What’s-”
“That’s unknown at present, sir. We can make arrangements for you to be kept updated accordingly once he’s stateside, or assist with travel arrangements if you-”
“Where’s he being transferred?”
Bradley pinned the phone between his shoulder and ear as he strode back to his cage to grab a pen and jotted down the details he was given on the back of his hand, humming along to the officer’s instructions about who to contact if he had any questions. It was only when he started wandering absentmindedly in Alvez’s direction that he clocked that the teasing looks had dropped from the others’ faces in time with when they had presumably realised that he might be dealing with a crisis.
“Sorry, sir, um, just to confirm,” the officer added once the administrative side of their conversation had been dealt with. “We have noted on the Captain’s personnel records that you’re only to be contacted in the event that Admiral Kazansky cannot be reached, but…” they trailed off, as if not quite sure how to finish their sentence.
“Right,” Bradley said around the lump forming in his throat as it finally clicked why it felt so wrong to be in this position. Of course he had never been on the receiving end of one of these calls before. Ice used to handle them and then only share the details with Bradley in the direst of circumstances. “Yeah, he, uh…” Bradley clenched his jaw as he stopped beside Jason, who was situated in the cage between him and Alvez, struggling to say the words even though the officer on the other end of the line surely had to know some of the details already. “He passed away a couple weeks ago. We’ll get the paperwork updated.”
“I can make a temporary note on this end to that effect with your permission, if you’d like?”
“Yeah, that’d be helpful, thanks.”
“Is there anyone else you’d like us to assist with notifying?”
“No,” Bradley shook his head with a resigned sigh. The only other people he could feasibly call on in this situation would be Sarah or Penny, but he couldn’t burden the former with such a thing when she was still knee-deep in the grieving process herself, and he had no idea how the latter would feel about it when she and Mav were as on-again, off-again in their relationship as him and Jake. “No, it’s just me.”
“Understood,” the officer murmured. “Please don’t hesitate to reach out if there’s anything else we can do to help.”
Bradley sighed again as he ended the call, looking to Alvez first as he started hedging his bets on how likely it would be that he got the signoff needed to fly all the way back to California after just having spent the best part of a month of downtime out that way already.
“Who died?” Alvez asked.
“Ice.”
Though his expression hardly changed, it was obvious that Alvez had been caught off guard for once.
The entire team knew about Bradley’s patchwork family network, but Bradley supposed it had been long enough since the shock wore off about the status of his connections that it might not occur to anyone that the uncles he always referenced in his stories were in fact the same high-ranking officers everyone in the navy knew the names of without him drawing direct attention to it.
“When exactly were you planning on bringing that one up?"
“When it became relevant.”
Alvez scoffed and shook his head to himself before asking, “and now you’re needed elsewhere for…?”
“Mav. Emergency eject on mission, he’s being transferred to North Island.” Bradley spared a quick look to Jason to apologise for the blunt delivery, and the fact that there had been no way to glean from his conversation about Mav’s condition whether they also needed to start worrying over Jake.
“You know, it is customary for officers to inform their chain-of-command of bereavements, even when they occur in downtime,” Alvez drawled with an arch tone. “Compassionate leave is a thing which exists…”
Bradley frowned confusedly, not really understanding what Alvez was getting at. “I don’t-”
“Go take care of your family, Bradshaw.” There was something more than sympathy in Alvez’s tone. Bradley didn’t care to read into that however when he was too busy deflating with relief over how easy that had been. Something Alvez had to have noticed since he made a point of adding, “keep your phone handy. I can’t guarantee we won’t need you when shit kicks off again.”
“Got it.”
Bradley patted Jason’s shoulder in acknowledgement of his request to be kept in the loop, as if that wasn’t a given with them, his nerves for his brother showing through strongly enough that he seemed to think it couldn’t be overstated.
In the quick round of farewells which were sent Bradley’s way there was also a teasing comment thrown in from Bishop, most likely just to lighten the mood, about whether Jason would be able to survive on his own without Bradley, a comment they might have laughed over if only it hadn’t ended up becoming some sort of self-fulfilling prophecy.
Jason’s phone started ringing in his hand just as Bradley turned towards the door. A sense of foreboding washed over him as he watched Jason hesitate before moving to answer it over the other side of the room in an echo of Bradley earlier. Jake and Jason were each other’s first point of contact for emergencies to save their mother from worrying unnecessarily, after all. With all the relevant context accounted for, there was only one logical explanation.
“His brother was slated to fly the same mission as Mav,” Bradley murmured when he met Alvez’s gaze again, stifling a wince over the ripple of discomfort which spread through the room.
Though it was a running joke the team loved to fall back on for an easy laugh, Bradley had to assume that no one actually wanted something so serious as their closest family members being endangered in the exact same circumstances to prove the theory that Bradley and Jason were attached at the hip, incapable of functioning without one another.
It only took a few minutes for Jason to talk through the details himself. To return to Bradley’s side, steal his pen, scribble something on the back of his own hand, and tilt it for him to see whilst he was still mid-conversation so that they could compare notes. To end his call and look beseechingly at Alvez like he knew he was pushing the limits of his patience here but didn’t really care when he had his brother to prioritise… it felt like forever though when it was filtered through the complex spiral of emotions that Bradley had to contend with.
“When you guys get back, we’re going to have a long talk about how much of a pain in my ass the co-dependency thing still is.”
Jason sighed and said with obvious reluctance, “I can stay if-”
“Just go,” Alvez intoned. “I don’t need to spend the next however long dealing with your pining.”
Bradley huffed a laugh in spite of everything he was feeling and shoved at Jason’s arm to get him moving in the right direction before he could take offence to that comment or Alvez could change his mind. It was a miracle they were being allowed to go in the first place, they didn’t need to waste time questioning their luck.
There was another chorus of farewells and well wishes on their way out of the room and then the two of them were alone, striding down the hallway at the exact same pace without conscious effort.
They barely spoke outside of what was strictly necessary through the entire process of flying back to the west coast. It was a testament to their shared understanding of one another and their focus on the situation that they didn’t need to.
Bradley wasn’t sure what to expect once they arrived. He was familiar with hospitals. There was no way for him not to have been with how many people he had lost to terminal illnesses in his life. He had been too young when his mother was going through chemo to be considered her primary carer though, and too absent to be much help with Ice. Being on this end of things was a new experience. Which said a lot about how much Ice had been in charge of, Bradley realised after the fact, when Mav wasn’t made out of Teflon and had a tendency to push the limits of his physical capabilities on a pretty regular basis just because he could.
He split off in a different direction to Jason after they checked in. Both of them were focused on the task of tracking down their respective charge, but they did manage to share one quick look before separating which confirmed that they would regroup at the car that they had rented from the airport as soon as they could. After all, they were operating on the assumption that, should there be some bigger issue here that they weren’t yet aware of, then they would need some time away from it all to work the problem.
“Baby Goose!” Mav crowed when Bradley let himself into his room, making him cringe for the childhood nickname he had once adored being called by his uncles as much as the strangely enthusiastic reaction to his presence.
The nurse, who was stood by his bed glancing over his chart when Bradley arrived, smiled in return when he nodded her way in deference, though Bradley barely noticed that as he began assessing Mav’s condition for himself.
He had his right arm in a sling and looked quite obviously worse for wear than usual. The smattering of scratches across his skin and the large bruise which was starting to darken the hairline on one side of his face did little to indicate how bad his landing might have actually been. His pupils were dilated almost to the point of disappearing his irises and he looked every bit his age for the first time that Bradley could ever remember. He was still in one piece though, and that was the only takeaway which really mattered.
“There’s my boy,” Mav continued, beckoning for Bradley when he didn’t immediately move closer. “You know, he looks just like his dad,” he added for the nurse’s benefit. Bradley took his hand and pressed his fingers to the pulse point in his wrist to reassure himself that, even though it was slightly elevated, it was still beating away as healthy as always in time with the beeping of the machines around them. “Spitting image. Could be his clone, really. It’s-”
“Okay, thank you, Mav,” Bradley chuckled awkwardly. “Take a breath, yeah?” He took a beat to check Mav wasn’t going to start running his mouth again before asking the nurse, “is he okay?”
“We’ve got him on the strong stuff,” she murmured, “so he should be feeling pretty good right now.” Bradley huffed a laugh when Mav nodded enthusiastically in agreement of that assessment. “I’ll just inform the doctor you’re here; she’ll be able to give you a full rundown of his condition.”
Bradley nodded his thanks as she left the room and looked back to his uncle, taking in the state of him with a measure of amusement now that his initial fear and confusion had been somewhat abated. When Mav caught his eye again, he tugged his arm for him to move closer, only really seeming satisfied once Bradley hauled the spare chair behind himself near enough with his foot that he could take a seat.
“Do you have any idea how proud I am of you?” Mav asked, catching Bradley far enough off guard that he wasn’t capable of articulating a response. “God, we all are. Your mom and dad. And Ice, he said it all the time, I should-”
“Mav-”
“I should say it more.”
“Hey-”
“I know we don’t always see eye to eye. I know you hate me. I-”
“I don’t hate you, Mav,” Bradley said in what he hoped was a patient tone. “Jesus, what the hell did they give you?”
“Good stuff,” Mav murmured with a lazy grin.
“Mhm, I can see that.”
“We should go somewhere.”
“What?”
“Yeah, when this is gone.” Mav waved his bad arm like a pinioned wing. “Remember that time we just up and drove to the Grand Canyon? You could’ve only been about seven or so?”
“Uh, not really?”
“Your mom was so mad at me when we got back,” Mav laughed. “I don’t know why, I texted her where we were going. It’s not my fault she didn’t see it ‘til after she got off work that afternoon…”
“Maybe because that sounds a few shades short of kidnapping?” Bradley murmured, wondering if he was supposed to have known about that part of the story already or if it had been kept from him because of how young he had been when it happened. He couldn’t remember his mother ever having been angry in the first place, after all, let alone at Mav.
“We should do that again,” Mav said as if Bradley hadn’t spoken. “Get on the bike and just go.” He underscored his point by whooshing his good hand through the air with sound effects and everything. “What do you think?”
“Uh-” Bradley tried not to look too outwardly relieved when the door opening saved him from ever needing to finish that conversation. One long lecture from the doctor about the importance of rest as a healing factor later and he almost wished that he could go back to it.
Though he felt marginally better informed afterwards – a dislocated shoulder was far from the most concerning injury that Mav had ever sustained in the line of duty, even if this was the second time in as many months that it had happened – that didn’t mean that Bradley knew how to handle playing nursemaid to the kind of patient Mav would end up becoming. He was only docile and compliant now because the doctor had dosed him up with painkillers after even the most basic of checks revealed how sensitive the strain on the muscles surrounding his shoulder had left him.
The damage seemed to be causing a loss of sensation down his arm, but any worries Bradley had had about the future of his career were assuaged by the doctor insisting that he simply needed time to rest and heal.
Bradley knew it had to be showing in his expression just how surprised he was by the news that this wasn’t the first crash landing Mav had been in so far this year, because the doctor walked him through the meagre details which were available in his personnel records unprompted, and reiterated her warning about rest being the most important thing before leaving Bradley with nothing but Mav’s discharge instructions to distract him. One dislocation might not have been such an issue, but two in such quick succession had the potential to cause significant problems if Mav wasn’t careful. There was nothing Bradley could do about that here and now however, especially not when Mav was only getting more disconnected with reality as time passed and exhaustion set in.
Once he was cleared to, Bradley tackled the challenge of wrangling a barely lucid Maverick into a wheelchair, as per the hospital’s requirements. A fact he made painfully clear that he had zero control over after hearing one too many times about how it wasn’t Mav’s legs which were damaged and that he could prove that was the case whenever Bradley liked so long as he ‘let him get out of the goddamn chair’.
The walk across the parking lot felt at least a hundred times longer now than it had when Bradley arrived, which seemed significant when Jason had chosen the closest spot to the door as possible. Realistically, it could have only taken a matter of minutes, at most, for them to get to the car, and Bradley was a caregiver by nature, he liked providing and he liked being there for the people he loved, but the short measure of patience he usually spared for his uncle was already well past its limits by the time he got him settled in the passenger seat.
When Mav started trying to ramble his way down memory lane for the millionth time, Bradley snapped at him a little too harshly that it was time for him to go to sleep whilst they waited for however many Seresins would be joining them, more focused on trying to get him belted in than indulging him any longer. The reprieve he took by leaning against the hood of the car instead of getting in to keep Mav company was very much needed.
He breathed out a heavy sigh and buried his head in his hands for a long moment, allowing his composure to break for the first time since he had gotten the call about coming here.
Bradley wasn’t sure that he would have survived any worse of an outcome. Ice’s death had been a maddening enough impossibility to comprehend. Everything Bradley had ever known hinged on the fact that his uncles were invincible. Being shown that they were in fact every bit as mortal as regular people was something that he would probably never come to terms with.
After pulling himself together again with the general squashing down of everything that he was feeling, Bradley slipped his phone out of his back pocket as a means of distraction. He had to swallow his disappointment over not having any messages from either Jason or Jake waiting to let him know what was happening on their end of things, and then bit at the inside of his cheek as he grappled with the uncomfortable realisation that he should probably call Sarah.
He hadn’t wanted to burden her, but Bradley knew from first-hand experience just how fast the navy rumour mill could work, and the last thing she needed was to hear about this from any other source than him.
“Hi, sweetie,” she said when she answered his call, confusion colouring her tone. “I wasn’t expecting to hear from you so soon?”
“Uh,” Bradley started, his voice getting stuck in his throat. Mav was fine, he reminded himself, going so far as to straighten up and turn to set eyes on where he had finally passed out in the passenger seat to soothe his nerves before settling into the same lean again. “Yeah, it, uh-”
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s Mav, Sare, he- he had to eject on mission a couple days ago. Dislocated his shoulder on the landing, I’m told. He’s fine, he just needs to rest up now, so I’m sorry to bother you, I just-”
“It’s no bother at all,” Sarah promised. “Where do I need to go?”
“Nowhere, I-”
“Bradley, where is he?”
“North Island, he was transferred earlier this morning.”
“Oh, that’s handy, I’ll just-”
“No, Sare, I’m here, I’ve got it handled,” Bradley interrupted, his guilt amplifying with how badly he had explained himself. “I’m not calling because I expect you to do anything, I just wanted to let you know. You know, so that you heard it from me.”
After a long, charged pause, Bradley thought he heard an upset sniff on the other end of the line. He had chance to worry over what he had said wrong before Sarah spoke in a voice thick with emotion. “That’s- God, I always forget just how much like Tom you are.”
Bradley squeezed his eyes shut. “I-”
“What can I do?”
“Nothing, Sare, I’ve got it cove-”
“Bradley, let me help.”
“You have enough going on, I can’t ask-”
“You’re not asking anything, sweetie, I’ve played this game more than enough times already. Your uncle never was one for soft landings.” Bradley huffed out a defeated laugh, unable to argue with that observation. “Where are you staying?” There was another tense pause as Bradley struggled to think of an answer that didn’t reveal his current lack of forward planning. “Don’t tell me you’re taking him back to that dang trailer of his?”
“It’s not that bad.”
“Of course you think that.” Bradley smiled in spite of himself over the blatant despair in his aunt’s voice, recognising that tone from her reaction to some of the more gnarly details of the stories he and Jason could tell about places they had been forced to bed down in the past when needs must. “Your frame of reference is the ground, you don’t get an opinion.”
“Sare-”
“No, I can’t allow it. Bring him here.”
Bradley dug the palm of his free hand into his eye socket like that might somehow make him feel better. “That’s really not-”
“I’m not taking no for an answer, Bradley. I’ll go get the beds made now.”
“No, Sare,” Bradley sighed out a groan for how badly he had mismanaged this. “Jace and his brother are here with us too. Jake was on the same mission, he- he’s injured too, and I-”
“Bring them with you, it’s no issue.”
“-can’t dump this all on you. It’s not fair. That’s not why I called.”
“I know, Bradley. Stop fretting.” Bradley breathed out another sigh, hating how easily won over he was in spite of his fears over being a burden when she added, “I have the space, I could use the company, and I’d never turn down more time with you whilst you’re around, sweetie, you know that. Bring them here. Please?”
“Alright,” Bradley reluctantly agreed.
They chatted for a few minutes more before Bradley noticed Jason and Jake exiting the hospital out of the corner of his eye. He had already promised Sarah that they would be fine with whatever arrangements she wanted to make, mostly because he didn’t want to put her out any more than he had already, and wrapped up their conversation now with the assurance that they would soon be on their way. He pocketed his phone, glanced over his shoulder to check that Mav was still as knocked out as ever, and straightened up in time to take the last few strides needed to close the gap between him and Jake.
“Are you okay?” Bradley asked as soon as Jake was in earshot, eyes darting over him as he tried to assess for himself whether he should even be up and walking around right now. The sling he had to match Mav’s was hard to miss, after all, as was the general air of exhaustion surrounding him and the fragile way he was holding himself.
Jake scoffed, “peachy keen, Bradshaw. Never better.”
Bradley rolled his eyes and looked to Jason for an actual answer.
“Four broken ribs, hairline fracture on his collarbone, and a mild concussion. Not to mention how black and fucking blue he is. How’s Mav?”
“Nerve damage from dislocating his shoulder, but they’ve said he should be fine if we can keep him fixed in place long enough for some R-and-R,” Bradley replied distractedly, gaze already set back on Jake with a distinct measure of reproach this time for the fact that he had tried skipping past giving him a diagnosis.
“That why he’s drooling over our rental at the moment?”
Bradley glanced around again at his uncle and huffed a laugh to himself over the picture he made, dead to the world with his head tipped back and mouth wide open. “Yeah, I think we should make the most of how quiet he is while it lasts, to be honest. I don’t know what the fuck they gave him, but he was talking out his ass while he was awake.”
“Lucky him,” Jake muttered.
“Huh?”
“This one’s not allowed the hard shit because of the concussion, and he was pissy enough to be a dick to his nurse about it,” Jason explained, gesturing at Jake with his thumb.
“Oh, duh,” Bradley chuckled whilst Jake just rolled his eyes.
“Anyway,” Jason grabbed Jake to tug him a few steps closer to the car. “This is great and all, but let’s get home before you’re out like Mav.”
“About that…” Bradley said as he followed along behind them. He breathed out an awkward laugh when Jason threw a frown over his shoulder, ignoring the creeping suspicion in his expression as he explained, “I spoke to Sarah, just to loop her in, and she kind of bullied me into agreeing we’d all stay with her.”
“She bullied you?”
“You try saying no to her!”
Jason scoffed and shook his head, which Bradley knew was just his way of avoiding having to agree with him. “Does she even have space for the four of us? I mean, I know she has a big place and all, but-”
“There’s the pullout in Ice’s office, which she said you can have since Mav and Jake’ll need to claim the actual spare beds, and I…” Bradley faltered midsentence as his gaze flickered between Jason and Jake and the whole uncertain mess that was their current situation hit him like a gut punch in the time between when Jake’s brows rose expectantly, like he was daring Bradley to try his patience by acting like he didn’t want to be right by his side for even a second, and Jason’s eyes narrowed, like the last thing in the world he wanted to hear was anything even remotely close to Bradley being presumptuous about his place at the moment. “Will also be there.”
Jake snorted, “smooth, Bradshaw.”
“Okay,” Jason squared off as he gestured between the two of them, “I need y’all to-”
“Actually,” Jake said, cutting his brother off. “Now that Bradley’s brought it up-”
“I’m not sure I brought anything up…”
“-there is something I need to do.”
Before either Bradley or Jason could react, Jake lunged at his brother and, grabbing one of his shoulders for balance, he kneed him in the balls.
Jason crumpled into himself with a weak groan.
As Jake stepped back, he glanced to Bradley reprimandingly, making it clear that he didn’t appreciate his poor attempts at keeping the peace. Picking a side between Jake and Jason was a no-win situation, but Bradley knew better than to point that out right now.
Though he had been too slow off the mark to prevent Jake from attacking in the first place, he was quick to reach for his arm and provide support when he struggled to find his feet once he was clear of his brother. His chest was heaving from the pressure that must have put on his ribcage just as hard as Jason’s, who had since fallen into a crouch and was now using the car for support, one hand pressed to the tarmac the other cupping himself.
They both wheezed through the pain.
“The fuck, Jake?” Bradley asked with an awkward, half-aborted laugh. Jason raised his head at that question, glaring hard enough to show that he was also hoping for a damn good explanation even though he couldn’t voice as much for himself just yet.
“That’s for punching my boyfriend after you found out we were together, dickhead,” Jake hissed through gritted teeth.
“You snitched on me?” Jason snapped at Bradley, his voice tinged with betrayal.
Bradley shrugged, feeling more and more confident with every passing second that, despite it technically being about him, he didn’t want to get involved with this brotherly spat any more than necessary. He also used that gesture as a convenient excuse to wind his arm even further around Jake’s waist. The title he had referred to him with hadn’t slipped his notice, after all, he was just biding his time on being able to circle back so that he could address it with all the veneration it deserved.
“He saw the bruise.”
“And?”
“I don’t lie when he asks about my injuries. I learned the hard way that doesn’t end well.”
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Jason muttered to himself as he gingerly rose to his feet.
When Jake shifted like he had every intention of a reprise, Bradley tightened his grip, using what little leverage he had to intervene and put an end to this. “You’ll hurt yourself if you’re not careful,” he murmured, his lips brushing past Jake’s ear as he spoke before he pressed a kiss to his temple. Jake simply leaned pretty much all of his weight on Bradley in response, all of the fight leaving him in an instant.
Jason fixed an apprehensive look on them, staring for a few long seconds before he met Bradley’s gaze. “So, you’re boyfriends now?”
“Seems like it, yeah.”
“And I just have to be cool with that?” Jason added, focus switching to Jake.
“Yeah, Jace. You’ve never cared who I dated before, why start now?”
“Because this is a pretty fucking unique situation! It’s Bradshaw for fuck’s sake.”
“Hey,” Bradley pouted, “you said yourself, he could do worse.”
“Far from the point I’m trying to make, man,” Jason said. “How am I even supposed to-” he gestured between them again, “who gets a shovel talk here? Whose ass am I supposed to kick when you guys fall out again and end up breaking each other’s hearts? What am I-”
“Jace,” Bradley interrupted with a forced laugh. “C’mon, we’re pretty late in the game for shovel talks, all things considered, and-”
“Let’s just work on the assumption that Bradshaw’s ass is my responsibility from now on, whether it needs kicking or otherwise,” Jake finished for him, leaving Bradley to cringe away from the incensed look which flashed across Jason’s expression.
“This is my hell,” Jason declared, turning to open the back passenger door of the car with enough finality that it seemed he wanted to draw a line under this conversation. He visibly stalled as his fingers landed on the handle however, and twisted to fix another glare on his brother as he asked with blatant suspicion, “did you pull this stunt now because you’re injured and you know I can’t hit you back?”
“Obviously,” Jake replied, deadpan, making Bradley choke on a laugh and unwittingly annoy Jason even further.
“Fuck you both.”
Jason strode around the car to get in the driver’s seat without assisting his brother any further, leaving Bradley to open Jake’s door and help him get settled. He hurried around the other side to climb in himself before Jason could get too tempted to drive off without him. Jake scooted over in his seat with the aim of getting closer to Bradley once they started moving, which only made Bradley smile.
Though Jason squinted at them in the rearview mirror periodically, he didn’t speak again for the duration of the drive. Bradley wasn’t naïve enough to think that would be the end of it. Jason had a long adjustment period to work his way through. They all did. This would take a hell of a lot of work from all three of them before it felt normal and stable and like it was actually going to work out in what, Bradley hoped, was the way they all wanted. He couldn’t bring himself to care about that in the moment. Not when he knew, without a doubt, for the first time ever, that he and Jake were on the exact same page about their relationship.
They were doing this.
For real.
After years of heartache, confusion, and despair, Bradley was finally getting what he had always wanted from the man now seeking comfort from his mere presence.
Though Jake drifted in and out of consciousness during the drive, he was lucid enough to bitch about the ‘goddamn mansion’ that he thought Bradley and Jason had been holding out on sharing with him before now once they arrived. Bradley ushered him inside with a pointed warning to not be weird about Sarah’s home in front of her whilst Jason, quite gladly from what Bradley could tell, took point on waking Mav up and coaxing him out of the car as well.
After her earlier bulldozing, Bradley was adamant that Sarah not lift a finger she didn’t need to in the process of getting Mav and Jake settled in their respective rooms, something Jason supported him in without question. It was easy to leave Mav alone for the evening, surrounded by pillows for support to ensure he didn’t inadvertently roll over and do more damage to himself in the night, his painkillers and water left on the nightstand for if he needed them. Jake, however, only agreed to lie down once Bradley promised that, much to Jason’s displeasure, he would be back to share his bed just as soon as he had done his due diligence in catching up with his aunt.
Everything about this entire process went far smoother than Bradley ever could have expected considering that they had ejection injuries, and classified mission details, and his and Jake’s brand-new relationship to complicate matters. Once he got over the initial shock and confusion of being startled awake in the middle of the night by Jake shouting himself out of whatever nightmare had been haunting him therefore, Bradley wasn’t surprised to have encountered a hurdle which needed overcoming. After all, this was something he had been through before. He had had to walk back from this ledge himself countless times. He had had to walk Jason back from it more than he liked to think about, too. It stood to reason that it was Jake’s turn to come back in the exact same way, trudging through every painful step of recovery that he had to until the bad dreams were nothing more than an echo replaced by far better memories.
Jake flinched away when Bradley first orientated himself enough to reach out, his breathing harsh and loud, and so obviously hurting with how hard it was making his chest work in spite of his injuries, before he caught up with reality and realised who it was next to him.
“What do you need?” Bradley murmured into his hair as Jake suffered through the process of tucking into his side like he was trying to hide away from the world.
“Ugh,” Jake shook his head, burrowing even further into Bradley for a moment before he attempted to sit up. “Bathroom.”
Bradley slipped off the bed first so that he could support the bulk of Jake’s weight. They stumbled down the hall together, moving as fast but as stealthily as they could so that the rest of the house wasn’t disturbed. Jake hadn’t been all that loud waking up, after all, and it had been a difficult enough day for everyone already without adding an audience to Jake’s weakest moment.
“Here,” Bradley flipped one of the glasses Sarah kept on the bathroom counter over and filled it from the tap in front of them whilst Jake dry heaved his way through trying to figure out how his stomach was coping with this unexpected wakeup call. “Take a drink, baby.”
The light in the bathroom was startlingly bright even without being compared to the darkness of their bedroom. It made Jake look more hollow and washed out than felt fair given everything he was going through. He had changed into shorts to sleep in, but had been reluctant to try tugging a t-shirt or sweater on over his head in case it aggravated his broken and fractured bones. The bandages covering his chest, the sling still in place, the scratches and bruises he had earned from his ejection were all there plain for Bradley to linger over with the desperate wish that he could somehow save Jake the pain he was going to have to deal with during his recovery.
Jake took a few careful sips before tossing the rest of the water down the drain and placing the glass back on the counter with a shaky hand. The light clinking sound, which it made when it landed, seemed to fracture something deep inside Jake. He twisted to lean against the counter and buried his head in his free hand with a quiet sob.
“C’mere,” Bradley murmured, winding his arms around Jake’s shoulders. “It’s okay, baby, it was just a bad dream,” he added, smoothing one hand up and down Jake’s spine with the hopes of offering him some comfort as he struggled to compose himself. Jake shook his head, his hair tickling where it brushed against the underside of Bradley’s chin. He mumbled something incomprehensible. “Huh?”
“I don’t know what’s real anymore,” Jake repeated once he dropped his hand to land hesitantly upon Bradley’s hip. His forehead was still resting against Bradley’s chest, but he was easier to hear now, so Bradley considered that progress until he processed exactly what he was confessing. “I can’t- I’m not supposed to be here. I wasn’t supposed to-” Bradley’s heart seized in his chest, but Jake straightening up prevented him the chance to read too much into where that sentence had been headed before he cut himself off. He was forced to loosen his hold as Jake squared his shoulders and raised his hands instead to smooth around Jake’s neck, thumbing back and forth over the hinges of his jaw. “This- it-” Jake raised his hand to encircle his fingers around Bradley’s wrist. “I don’t want this to be a dream, but there’s no way it’s real…”
“Baby, you’re not dreaming now,” Bradley replied, keeping his voice low to not unsettle Jake any further than he was already feeling by letting his own nerves show through. “You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be, you’re here with me. This is real.”
“It can’t be, Bradley. This ain’t-”
“I love you.”
Save it for when I really need to hear it, Jake had said just a few weeks ago.
Bradley had to imagine this was the exact kind of scenario he had had in mind when he made such a request. It made sense that he would have wanted this to return to, even if he hadn’t known at the time that he had asked that the big, bad unknown which he was staring down the barrel of was a suicide mission. And, should he have royally messed up here and misunderstood what Jake wanted from him both back then and here and now in the moment, there wasn’t anything else Bradley could have thought of to say to help ground him in the present.
“I love you, Jake,” he said again, tilting Jake’s chin a little further upwards as he stared directly into his eyes and implored him to accept what he was saying as the only truth he ever needed to rely on in the future. “I’ve loved you almost as long as I’ve known you, and it has been hell every fucking step of the way.” Jake choked on the wet chuckle he breathed out. The tears which had been making his eyes glisten before now trailed down his cheeks when he blinked. Bradley thumbed them away before ducking in to press a soft kiss to his lips. “Don’t tell me this isn’t real, baby, I couldn’t bear it.”
“I’ve been dreaming about this moment since forever,” Jake replied with the ghost of a wry tone. “I don’t know that you’re proving your case…”
Bradley snorted in spite of himself and threw half a glance around them before meeting Jake’s eye again and raising his brows with a heavy dose of scepticism. “This moment exactly?” He asked. “Because I have some questions if we were ever three feet from a toilet in my aunt’s house in any of those dreams…”
Jake winced as he laughed and pressed his free hand against the bandage around his ribcage, paying the price for his amusement. “Don’t make me laugh.”
“Can’t help it, I’m hilarious.”
“Yeah, keep telling yourself that.”
Bradley grinned, allowed Jake a moment to breathe, and then cocked his head a little as he asked, “do you believe me?” When Jake nodded, Bradley leaned in and kissed him again just as softly as before. He knew Jake was going to tire of being handled with care sooner rather than later, but for now, he could enjoy the drastic shift in their dynamic for what it was while it lasted. “Good,” he added, running one hand back to knead at the muscles at the back of Jake’s neck. “My next tactic would’ve been to prove just how much pain you’re in right now and that’s way less fun…”
Jake snorted, “you’re such a romantic.”
“I know. You’re so lucky.”
Jake hummed noncommittally, settling further into his lean against the counter as he did what little he could to tug Bradley closer. He looked exhausted and uncomfortable, but Bradley could sense without needing to ask that he wasn’t quite ready to go back to bed yet.
“Here, baby,” he murmured, easing out of Jake’s hold enough to run his hands behind his thighs and get the leverage needed to hoist him up onto the edge of the sink. He stepped back in-between Jake’s knees, holding him in place with both hands on his hips. His thumbs kneaded against his skin in an attempt to ground them both in the moment. It wouldn’t be comfortable for long, but this bought them some time to settle Jake’s nerves before they tried returning to the bedroom. “How’s that?”
“God, I love how easy that is for you,” Jake replied as he slumped back to lean against the mirror behind him, the flush now crawling across his cheeks doing an awful lot to reassure Bradley as it brought some colour back to his complexion.
“Yeah?”
“I love everything about you.”
“Took you long enough to say so.”
“You thought I hated you.”
“I thought a lot of things over the years, I don’t…” Bradley shook his head, his mood dipping as he tried to figure out a way to express himself without kicking Jake whilst he was down.
“I put you through hell.”
“We don’t need to do this now.”
“No, but we should at some point,” Jake insisted, his expression twisting with something which looked awfully close to regret. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry, too.”
“You don’t have anything to-”
“It’s not all on you, Jake,” Bradley insisted. “I was just as bad.”
“Yeah, but I-” Jake sighed, looking down to where he had taken to toying with the tie of Bradley’s sweatpants. The fingers laying against his chest thanks to the sling flexed frustratedly. “We were finally getting somewhere, and then I got scared and stupid, and I ruined it when I should’ve just talked to you… I can see that now.”
“We’ve never been very good at the talking part.”
“No…” Jake sighed again, eyes flickering up to meet Bradley’s. His expression was hard and remorseful, but also open and resolute. “But I knew it’d fuck with your head when I met Luke and I nearly married him anyway.” Bradley was unable to suppress a flinch despite how much he wanted to pretend like hearing that put so bluntly didn’t bother him. “I liked how jealous you were, and how bad you were at hiding it from me. I liked that you didn’t like him when everyone else did.”
“Jake-”
“I even…” Jake laughed ruefully. “Fuck, I even liked that it was Catelyn you tried moving on with because she’s nothing like me. That’s how I got through knowing you were together, I told myself that’s why you chose her.”
“It was,” Bradley admitted with a shrug, wanting to prove he could be just as forthright as Jake when it mattered. He wasn’t quite at the stage of self-awareness where he could acknowledge that their differences had only made him think of Jake more often, but it was something he knew he should reflect upon at some point, even if just for his own peace of mind. Theirs hadn’t been a healthy relationship for a multitude of reasons, after all, but it would be unfair to blame everything on Catelyn.
Jake’s breath stuttered and he winced in pain as a result, but before Bradley could voice his concern, he said, “and I’m happy about that, I-”
“It’s in the past,” Bradley cut in, not so much because he believed that, but more to diffuse the fight this could turn into before it even started.
“It’s not,” Jake insisted, smoothing his good hand back up Bradley’s chest to land against the crook of his neck so that he could bring him close enough to knock their foreheads together. “It won’t be for a while yet.” Bradley sighed once he straightened up to meet Jake’s gaze again, at a loss for what else to say when they both knew Jake was right. “It’s always been you, Bradley,” Jake continued with heartbreaking sincerity. “I just never thought you cared enough to want more before…”
“So, this is happening?” Bradley asked in a low voice after taking a beat to process, uninterested in spelling out the obvious any more than he already had.
They could debate the reality of Bradley’s emotional constipation until they were blue in the face, but that wouldn’t change the fact that Jake had spent the last ten years not noticing all the different ways Bradley had tried to show that he cared when he hadn’t been capable of saying as much out loud. Whilst they were at it, they could spend some time on Jake’s struggles with emotional vulnerability in return. Neither of them were perfect, and making things as complicated as they had become had always been a joint effort between them. To Bradley, digging down into all of that right here and now felt like it would be a wasted effort.
They would have to go there eventually, of course.
It wasn’t going to be easy. It would go against both of their natures, and it would most likely crop up a whole host of other issues they weren’t yet aware of regarding their past selves’ fundamental inability to communicate, but it would also keep for another day. It wasn’t the kind of conversation which needed to take place in Sarah’s bathroom in the middle of the night just so that they could say they had dealt with it at the earliest opportunity that they had.
“Because this has to be it, Jake. We can’t half ass this shit anymore. I don’t-” Bradley blew out a weighty breath, enough latent fear surfacing to make him doubt himself. “I’m going to have to leave again. Soon. And I don’t want to go thinking we’re good and then come back to find I’ve lost you again. I can’t go through that again.”
“You won’t have to,” Jake promised as he tilted Bradley’s chin up to initiate a careful, soothing kiss. “This is it.” He hummed approvingly when Bradley’s hands secured around his waist a little better to support even more of his weight. “This is real.” Jake inhaled a slow breath, like he was bracing himself as much as he was able to with his injuries taken into consideration, and let it go again. “But you have to keep coming back to me.”
“I always have.”
“No, I fucking mean it,” Jake insisted, as if Bradley’s response had somehow seemed disingenuous. “You’ve got to let go of that stupid goddamn death wish you have and-”
“I don’t have a death wish,” Bradley cut in with a dismissive chuckle, long since familiar with this strange little hang-up of Jake’s.
“You do. I know you, Bradley.” Jake’s voice cracked under the weight of the passion he was speaking with. “And I get that you have some bullshit saviour complex going on to keep the rest of your team safe because you’re scared of losing people, but-”
“Jake…” Bradley warned, a painfully familiar burn of resentment tightening like a noose around his heart as he was reminded at the absolute worst possible time just how well Jake could find the wrong buttons to push when he felt like it.
“Don’t make me bury you.” Jake crashed their lips together, his every move fraught with the kind of tension which implied that this was something he had been stewing over for a while now. “You promised me a future, Bradley,” he murmured against his lips before kissing him again intensely enough that he seemed half convinced Bradley would disappear from beneath his fingertips if he wasn’t careful. “Don’t go short-changing me.”
“I-”
“Please.”
“It’s my time, when it’s my time, baby,” Bradley said with as much assurance as he could muster as he made a point of swallowing down his earlier frustration. “There’s nothing either one of us can do to change that.”
This was the exact attitude that Carole Bradshaw had adopted when she first received her cancer diagnosis and had to find a way of explaining to Bradley that she would be leaving him alone in the world against her will. Bradley hadn’t truly appreciated the wisdom of it until after one of his Green Team instructors took it upon himself to beat his hesitancy to act without thinking out of him. As a result, he had come to terms with his own mortality a long time ago. Whether the same could be said for Jake, Bradley wasn’t sure.
“Look where we are,” he continued with a crooked smile, hoping that he didn’t sound too patronising. “Look at why we’re here.” His gaze dropped down to where the sling filled his vision before he met Jake’s gaze again with a measure of reproach he wouldn’t have been able to suppress even if he had been aware of it. “You really want to make out like I’m the only one who likes to play the hero?”
“Bradley-”
“You know I do get it, right?” Bradley continued with a scoff, his frustration with Jake’s hypocrisy getting the better of him. “It’s the same goddamn thing for me. I can’t stand seeing you hurt. I-” Bradley’s breath caught in his throat and his eyes welled up as reality hit in a much more real sense than ever before. “What are we supposed to do, Jake?” He asked, voice lowered as he made an effort to rein in his emotions. “Live in fear for the rest of our lives? Give up our careers because, all of a sudden, we can’t hack ‘em? Do you really want that? Do you really expect that of me?”
“No, I-”
“I have spent the last ten years coming back to you, even when you didn’t want me to.” Jake huffed out a laugh that sounded equal parts amused and heartbroken, seeming unperturbed by being cut off so quickly but devastated by what Bradley had actually said. “You can’t go losing faith in me now, not when we’re finally giving us a real shot at happening.”
“I’m not,” Jake promised. “I’m not, Bradley, I swear, I just… this ain’t something I would usually bother talking to you about so I- fuck, I’m trying, Bradley.”
Every ounce of fight left Bradley in an instant.
“Goddammit,” he forced out a laugh. “We really are doing this, huh?”
“Shut up” Jake intoned, rolling his eyes as he hauled Bradley in for another kiss. No doubt they would pick up right where they had left off later – never letting things go was their kind of thing – but Bradley couldn’t pretend not to be relieved that neither of them had the energy to keep up with the debate right now. “Fucking try and shake me, Bradshaw, I dare you.”
“Even though Jace hates it?”
“That’s just an added bonus, baby.” Something wicked enough to make Bradley wonder if he should be nervous crept into Jake’s expression for a split second before it disappeared behind a soft, affectionate smile. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” Bradley replied, patting at Jake’s hips encouragingly afterwards as he sucked in a breath through his nose. “C’mon, let’s get you back to bed. We can circle back to the rest of this shit later.” Jake huffed out a short laugh in agreement, and yet he tightened his hold on Bradley rather than releasing him. “What, do you want me to carry you? Is that what’s happening here?”
“Do you think you could?”
“Probably, yeah.” Bradley scoffed when Jake’s grin widened. “Much as I’d love to show off right now, I’m not risking it when you’re already injured.”
“You’re going to make me walk?”
“Yes, your highness, you have to walk about five steps down the hall. Think you can manage that?”
Jake breathed out a long-suffering sigh even though he was smiling. He nudged Bradley back a step and slipped to his feet with only a slight grunt to hint at his discomfort. “You’re losing points for this.”
“Sure, I am, baby,” Bradley agreed with a suppressed chuckle, guiding Jake through the door with a palm against his lower back as he switched off the light on their way past. “Whatever you say.”