Chapter Text
Jason breathes.
In for five, out for five.
In for five, out for five.
Again, in for five out for five.
Why does he do these things.
———
The day was pretty normal, all thing considered. Well, having come back for the dead and training to be an assassin normal. It was still pretty normal. clean the dishes, fight the ninja, sweep the floors, break some skulls in, you know normal.
Until this guy came, weird one. Tall and blonde says he’s from this “st damas” thing, not that Jason knew what that was. He had a woman dressed in religious garb and a man dressed in one of those Hawaiian shirts super cheesy- with him, not sure why he was there didn’t catch the name but you know how it is.
Well it wasn’t until later that he got interested and tailed them out, not exactly sure what Jason was expecting but he followed. Eventually they fell in a hole for some reason, he watched from above as the blonde one put on a mask, red and black one. And watched as he cut through the net that was in the hole, Jason didn’t mention the net did he.
He watched for a while, eventually the blonde one came back he looked worse somehow. He got the little posse out of the net and went back wherever it was they came from.
Jason being a curious bastard wondered what was in the hole, anyway he went down.
And down and down, and came across a broken lab, and a guy? Robot? Looked pretty dead.
There was so many animals there too, wow this is a mess.
“Hello? Any evil assassins? Would love to- you know punch you but I’m just exploring. Oh what’s this?”
Jason bent down to the small thing, he looked.. it was a baby.
“Oh fuck.”
Jason checked the little guy’s pulse, there wasn’t one. He picked the baby up and just ran.
“Hey little guy”
Jason runs huffing and panting and getting out of the hole
“you know the one good thing about running with the Al’Ghuls is that they can revive little guys like you. Don’t worry I got you”
Jason knew he’d get in trouble but it was a baby. A BABY!
———
He dunks the little guy in, so small. The little guy fits in one of his arms, under the water slowly and carefully. Jason seethes a little as the Lazarus pit’s water laps against his arm.
Then the baby stirs, the little guy stirs and he’s okay.
“Oh that- fuck. Hey little guy”
Jason holds the baby close to his chest under his shirt, he read that skin to skin contact made babies better. Or something.
The baby coughs, and starts weakly crying.
“Hey. It’s okay. It’s okay sh~ it’ll be okay”
Jason took the little guy back to his room, fuck Talia was going to kill him.
He put the little guy down on his bed, the little guy coo’s so small.
“Hey little buddy, I’m going to go get some baby formula since I don’t have tits. I’ll be back soon.”
The baby rolls around slightly just barely it’s so small.
As soon as he lets the baby down the guy starts crying.
“Sh~ it’s okay, it’s okay.”
Jason rocks the baby slowly in his arms, well this is bad.
Jason sighs and makes a makeshift sling under his shirt and places the baby carefully in. Is this his life?
———
Jason arrives at the nearest civie shops with baby formula, he grabs the baby stuff. This little guy was smaller than a newborn- and gets a baby bottle, some diapers, and stops by a nearby clothing story to get baby clothes. He quickly realised none of it would fit the baby.
He sighs, and heads back. Talia is used to his night outings it’s not that weird, but well a baby?
No, she had been going off the deep end ever since she had Damian. He was only 8 and yet Talia was cruel to him, brutally cruel.
He didn’t want her to find the baby, he could just give it up. But there’s not adoption agency’s or orphanages here, plus the baby is just so tiny.
————
He’s back in the room again, he fed the baby and now it’s tiny tiny hands keep trying to grab Jason’s.
“Your adorable, just.. small.”
The baby can’t even open it’s eyes yet, it’s just so.. tiny. This was a bad idea wasn’t it?
Jason cuddles the baby close, tomorrow he’ll figure it all out