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It was a relatively early Sunday morning, just past seven, when Shawn woke up. He turned over to gently kiss his sleeping wife’s forehead, doing his best not to wake her, before getting up and heading to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. It was funny—for the better part of his adult life, Shawn had hated waking up early, usually sleeping in at least until 10, if he was up then at all.
As of late, he found he didn’t mind early mornings anymore.
With the coffee brewing, he headed back toward the bedroom, stopping to lean in the doorway, his gaze automatically finding Juliet, still sleeping soundly. She looked so peaceful, so beautiful, all he could do was stare. He’d spend his whole life staring at her if he could. And then he smiled, because, yeah, he actually kinda did get to spend the rest of time staring at Juliet, hence the whole wife thing. He still couldn’t believe it sometimes.
Perhaps sensing his presence or, more likely, smelling the coffee brewing in the kitchen, Juliet began to stir, her eyes opening slowly, finding him standing in the doorway.
“How long have you been watching me sleep?”
Which, yeah, fair question. He honestly wasn’t sure. A minute or two, probably, but he could easily spend an eternity lost in the thought of her.
“Not nearly long enough,” he finally answered.
She stretched, taking her time, before getting up and walking over to wrap her arms around him.
He held her a while, just basking in it, before pulling back to gently kiss her.
“Good morning, Jules,” he said quietly.
Later, when they were sitting at their little kitchen table, having coffee in silence, he found himself staring again. He’d been doing that a lot lately. She looked up from the newspaper and stared back for a moment, searching his soul and coming up with nothing.
“What are you thinking about?” she asked.
The answer, to his surprise, was… not much of anything, actually. Usually, Shawn’s brain was on a roll, going from thought to idea to person to memory at a million miles a second, and it was hard to stop all that momentum. He rarely found a moment of peace in his own thoughts. But when he looked at her, his head went quiet for once. It was nice.
(Admittedly, not completely quiet, but the usual chatter was drowned out significantly with the overwhelming thought of holy shit, she married me.)
He snapped back into reality, because, hey, Jules asked you a question, Shawn, focus.
“Nothing. And,” he added. “And everything, I guess.”
He had work to wrap up at the psychphransisco office, and as much as he wanted to spend his Sunday with her doing nothing at all, he had a deadline to meet. He left Juliet with a kiss goodbye and a promise to bring back dinner that night and headed out to meet Gus.
He found himself distracted the rest of the day, not as productive as he should’ve been, but he couldn’t quite place why. He kept thinking back, for some reason, to when he first returned to Santa Barbara in his twenties.
A question he’d pondered for years was why he came back, and for a long time, he didn’t have a good answer. He was low on money, that was no secret to anyone, but he’d gotten by just fine beforehand. He could’ve worked something out. It wasn’t until almost 20 years later that he finally understood what brought him back.
Shawn was lonely.
As his mom had pointed out, once, Shawn went on a lot of first dates. She wasn’t wrong. He just never really connected with anyone, not out on the road, and not for a while after he got back. It wasn’t, he realized, until that day at the diner.
He’d liked Jules a long time, pretty much the second he met her. Anyone could see that. Admitting he loved her, that took a lot longer, a lot more work through his commitment issues. And it wasn’t until now, years later, in his office in Chinatown, in the middle of working a robbery case, that he realized he always had.
He had always loved her.
The signs were there, even if he was too afraid to see them. She was always on the back of his mind, always considered in every decision he made, always a part of his future, whether or not he realized it. And he was just happier when she was around. The air was a little warmer, the room got a little brighter when she walked in.
He wasn’t a psychic, but there must have been something magic about her, the way she instantly changed his whole world. Everything just made sense.
And then he freaked out a little, because, hey, this was kind of a lot for a Sunday afternoon, so he dumped all his thoughts on Gus, who just hit him with a “Yeah, I know that. Did you seriously not know that?”
Shawn had not known that.
But he knew now. And he couldn’t just sit there.
He grabbed his jacket, immediately heading for the door. Gus tried to protest, but Shawn insisted he had to go home.
“I’ll stay late tomorrow, I promise,” he said, and they both knew he wouldn’t.
Arriving home, he found Juliet reading on the couch. She stood up, surprised.
“Shawn? What are you doing home so early?” She asked.
He didn’t answer, instead cupping her face in his hands and kissing her deeply.
Because there was no easy way for him to say oh, I just had the sudden realization of how I’ve always loved you, and how you’ve changed my life completely, and how I never really understood anything about anything until I met you.
Well, come to think of it, he could just say that. But he was a little caught up in the moment, his brain uncharacteristically quiet as he found it often was around her, so he decided to show her instead.
He pulled back after a moment, one hand resting softly on her cheek, the other finding her waist.
“I just missed you,” he finally answered, and it was the truth.