Chapter Text
JULY 4TH
Sawamura_Daichi has added Misshimizu to FORMER DADS (WE VISIT ON WEEKENDS) at 10:28AM
grumpycatislol: oho?
hoot@meme: ohohoho
grumpycatislol: ohohohohohohohoho
hoot@meme: ohohohohohohohohohohohohohoho
grumpycatislol: ohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohoho
hoot@meme: OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO
[cut for length]
vcomein✌: are you fucking kidding me?
vcomein✌: do you have nothing better to do?
grumpycatislol: nope
hoot@meme: nah
Sawamura_Daichi: Guys, way to make a good first impression on our new roommate.
vcomein✌: WHAT?
vcomein✌: whos misshimizu
Misshimizu: Hello…
Sawamura_Daichi: Shimizu Kiyoko, the old manager from Karasuno when we were third years.
Sawamura_Daichi: She needed a place to stay and so I offered her the other bedroom at our place.
vcomein✌: BOKUTO. KUROO. I AM GOING TO END YOU.
vcomein✌: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU TWO?
grumpycatislol: oho?
hoot@meme: ohohohoho?
vcomein✌: NO STOP. NO. YOU FUCKING SPAMMED THIS CHAT
vcomein✌: Hello, Shimizu-san. I see you couldn’t keep away from the great Oikawa-san
vcomein✌: (๑ゝڡ◕๑)
grumpycatislol: dude shes gonna know that you shit and your farts smell like ass once she moves in later 2day
hoot@meme: HOOT HOOT
vcomein✌: YOU KNOW WHAT KUROO
vcomein✌: at least i shit diamonds and my farts look like rainbows
Sawamura_Daichi: You know that she’s a part of this chat and that she can read everything you two are saying?
vcomein✌: STFU SAWAMURA
Misshimizu has changed FORMER DADS (WE VISIT ON WEEKENDS) to OIKAWA TOORU HAS NO CHILL at 5:01PM
vcomein✌ has left OIKAWA TOORU HAS NO CHILL at 5:01PM
grumpycatislol: OMG
hoot@meme: I HAVENT MET YOU YET BUT ILY
grumpycatislol: ily2
grumpycatislol: like in a none creepy way
hoot@meme: not sure if my love is creepy or none creepy but either way ILY
Misshimizu: Don’t let noya or tanaka hear you say that
Sawaramura_Daichi has added vcomein✌ to OIKAWA TOORU HAS NO CHILL at 5:07PM
vcomein✌: kill me now pls
Misshimizu: Arsenic or gunshot?
gumycatislol: DAMN SON
hoot@meme: DAMN BOI
hoot@meme: SAWAMURA BRO
grumpcatislol: y didnt u tell us that shimizu san is swag at hell
hoot@meme: FLY AS FUCK
grumpycatislol: THE BEES KNEES
hoot@meme: THE CATS PAJAMAS
grumpycatislol: brO
hoot@meme: BRo
grumpycatislol: i am touched bro
hoot@meme: i always got ur back bro
grumpycatislol: marry me bro
hoot@meme: we already r bro
grumpycatislol: bro i am crying
hoot@meme: i will catch your tears bottle them up and wear that bottle as a necklace so i can always have a part of you with me
grumpycatislol: bruh
Sawamura_Daichi: Please stop.
Misshimizu: Yes please do
Sawamura_Daichi: I’m so sorry. You can back out now if you want.
Misshimizu: Considering that I’m outside your door I don’t think I can
vcomein✌: could this day get any worse?
Misshimizu has changed OIKAWA TOORU HAS NO CHILL to ALIENS R 4 LOSERSSSSS at 10:57PM
vcomein✌: I AM GOING TO END YOU
JULY 13TH
ALIENS R 4 LOSERSSSSS at 4:01AM
hoot@meme: FOR THE RECORD OF THIS CHAT
hoot@meme: OIKAWA CANNOT WIN AGAINST A GIRL
hoot@meme: NAMED SHIMIZU KIYOKO
hoot@meme: AND I LOVE HER
hoot@meme: AND SHE WILL BE NOW KNOWN AS MY WAIFU
hoot@meme has changed ALIENS R 4 LOSERSSSSS to SHIMIZU KIYOKO IS MY WAIFU at 4:04AM
Misshimizu: Go to bed Bokuto-kun
hoot@meme: ILY
hoot@meme: MY BEAUTIFUL WAIFU
grumpycatislol: SHUT THE FUCK UP BRO
grumpycatislol: I CAN HEAR YOUR ANNOYING ASS OWL NOISES FROM MY ROOM
grumpycatislol: I HAVE A FUCKING EXAM IN THE MORNING YOU MORON
grumpycatislol: STOP SHOUTING ACROSS THE APARTMENT
grumpycatislol: NO I AM PULLING AN ALL NIGHTER
grumpycatislol: LITERALLY JUST SAID BRO
grumpycatislol: I HAVE FUCKING EXAM IN THE MORNING SO NO I WILL NOT PLAY COD WITH YOU RN
grumpycatislol: tmrw bb
grumpycatislol: GO 2 BED
Sawamura_Daichi: I swear to god, you two, go to bed.
Sawamura_Daichi: Now.
SHIMIZU KIYOKO IS MY WAIFU at 8:29AM
vcomein✌: what the
vcomein✌: >>hoot@meme has changed ALIENS R 4 LOSERSSSSS to SHIMIZU KIYOKO IS MY WAIFU at 4:04AM
vcomein✌ has changed SHIMIZU KIYOKO IS MY WAIFU to ALL HAIL OIKAWA-SAN at 8:37AM
Misshimizu: Good luck on your exam Kuroo-kun!
Misshimizu: I hope you got the coffee and muffin I left for you before you left ^^
grumpycatislol has changed ALL HAIL OIKAWA-SAN to SHIMIZU KIYOKO IS A GODDESS at 11:12AM
JULY 16TH
SHIMIZU KIYOKO IS A GODDESS at 12:18PM
Sawamura_Daichi: Is it alright if I have some people over to stay this weekend? Well more like one night.
hoot@meme: ohohoho?
grumpycatislol: ohohohoho?
grumpycatislol: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
vcomein✌: who?
Sawamura_Daichi: Um...
vcomein✌: pls don't let it be who i think it is
vcomein✌: go to a hotel or something
vcomein✌: my innocent nature cannot handle this
Sawamura_Daichi: What?
grumpycatislol: "innocent nature"
hoot@meme: HA!
hoot@meme: GOOD SHIT GOOD SHIT
hoot@meme: A++++++++
hoot@meme: 7/10 for creativity tho
vcomein✌: what are you talking about bokuto?
hoot@meme: o was that not a joke?
vcomein✌: you are dead to me
grumpycatislol: awk bruh
Sawamura_Daichi: It's the second and third years from Karasuno. They are coming up for training with the Fukurodani Group and the third years want to visit colleges while they're up here and the second years just want to tag along I think.
vcomein✌: ohhhh
vcomein✌: well then
vcomein✌: any chance to point out to tobio-chan how much better i am at life than he is
vcomein✌: is a welcome chance in my book
hoot@meme: MY CROW SON
hoot@meme: HINATA SHOYO
hoot@meme: my salty bean pol
hoot@meme: TSUKKI
hoot@meme: I LOVE THEM
hoot@meme: HINATA CAN SLEEP IN MY ROOM
hoot@meme: TSUKKI CANNOT
hoot@meme: MY TINY SON
Sawamura_Daichi: Wait, what did you mean innocent nature? Who did you think was coming over?
vcomein✌: ...
Sawamura_Daichi: Oikawa.
grumpycatislol: OH SHIT
grumpycatislol: they have to apply to colleges dont they
grumpycatislol: i should txt kenma
grumpycatislol: he should get on that
Sawamura_Daichi: Oh, Kuroo, Bokuto, you should ask Kenma and Akaashi to come over and hang out this weekend too. Kenma is friends with Hinata and I'm sure Tsukishima would like to see Akaashi.
SHIMIZU KIYOKO IS A GODDESS at 1:00PM
grumpycatilol: bokuto bro did you kno?
hoot@meme: wut bro
grumpycatislol: i just txted kenma to ask him if he wants to go college visiting this weeknd
grumpycatislol: w me
grumpycatislol: and he said he already went to see colleges a few weeknds ago
vcomein✌: wow the suspense is killing me
vcomein✌: please continue with this revetting tale kuroo
grumpycatislol: stfu trashkawa
vcomein✌: HEY
vcomein✌: only iwachan is allowed to call me that
hoot@meme: was that it bro?
hoot@meme: i was expecting more
hoot@meme: im not angry
hoot@meme: just disappointed
grumpycatislol: NO THAT IS NOT ALL
grumpycatislol: APPARENTLY HE WENT TO VISIT COLLEGES WITH AKAASHI AND DIDNT TELL ME
hoot@meme: WAT
hoot@meme: HOW COULD AKAASHI NOT TELL MEEEEEE
hoot@meme: I THOUGHT AKAASHI N I WERE BROS
hoot@meme: HOW COULD HE NT TELL MEEEEEE?
grumpycatislol: I KNO RIGHT?
grumycatislol: I AM FEELING SO BETRAYED RN
grumpycatislol: kenma says its bc we r apparently embarrassing
grumpycatislol: and he knew that we would want to tag along
grumpycatislol: and he and akaashi after that ONE TIME
grumpycatislol: dont like going places with us in public anymore
grumpycatislol: I AM SO HURT
hoot@meme: COME FIND ME AND HOLD ME KUROO BRO
grumpycatislol: ON MY WAY BRO
grumpycatislol: WHERE R U?
Misshimizu: Yes that's fine if Karasuno come to stay
Misshimizu: Just please make sure that Hinata Tanaka and Nishonoya don't go near the coffee machine or else none of us will sleep
Sawamura_Daichi: Don't worry. I am at the store buying child locks.
JULY 18TH
SHIMIZU I LUV U SHIMIZU I DOOOOOOooOO at 4:43PM
vcomein✌: what a shit show you two put on
vcomein✌: in case you dont remember
vcomein✌: i sent you both a ton of snaps
vcomein✌: and i have more videos in case you want to see
Sawamura_Daichi: I have made the gravest mistake of my life.
Sawamura_Daichi: I feel like I should go to church and repent and I wasn't even the one to do anything.
Misshimizu: I told you not to let them near the coffee machine
Sawamura_Daichi: I thought child locks would work, but I forgot that while Kuroo might look dumb, he's actually smart...
Misshimizu: An awful combination
Sawamura_Daichi: I am so sorry, Shimizu
grumpycatislol: wat a nite
grumpycatislol: wat a nite
hoot@meme: YEA BOI
vcomein✌: did you get my snaps?
vcomein✌: i also posted videos on fb
grumpycatislol: i have done nothin i am ashamed of
grumpycatislol: hbu bro?
hoot@meme: SAAAAAAAME
hoot@meme: BEST NITE EVRRRRR
Misshimizu: Do you even remember your "best nite evrrrrr?"
grumpycatislol: some parts r vv blurry...
hoot@meme: BUT IM SURE WE WRE SWAG AS HELL
Misshimizu: You should check fb
Misshimizu: And watch the video of you guys singing
hoot@meme: KUROO BRO WE LOOK FINE AS FUCK
grumpycatislol: HELL YEA WE DO
grumpycatislol: LOOK AT OUR HARMONY
hoot@meme: ON PNT BRO
hoot@meme: WE SHOULD B OPERA SINGERS
hoot@meme: THAT IS HOW GOOD WE SOUND
grumpycatislol: ANGELS IN HEAVEN WERE CRYING
hoot@meme: i am so glad that oikawa was smart enough to get that whole beautiful moment on film
hoot@meme: so blessed to be alive rn
grumpycatislol: more like so blessed that oikawa is never not with his phone
Sawamura_Daichi: So, neither one of you is embarrassed that you sang some sort of ode to Shimizu outside the apartment building literally butt naked with Tanaka and Nishinoya at 3 in the morning?
hoot@meme: literally wat is there 2b embarrassed abt?
grumpycatislol: only regret i have is y we decided a funeral march would be the best music to put it to
grumpycatislol: short lapse in judgement there
hoot@meme: naw bro
hoot@meme: we thought it would give it AESTHETIC
hoot@meme: we hd like a 30 MIN convo abt it w noya n ryu
hoot@meme: how gone wre u that u cant remember that
grumpycatislol: apparently goner than i thought
grumpycatislol: but still no regrets
Misshimizu: I bought new locks for our doors so when the two of them go out at some point we can change the locks
vcomein✌: for once you and i are on the same page shimizu chan
JULY 19th
LET US IN WE R SRRRRRRRY at 1:23AM
vcomein✌: how the fuck does that video that over 800 hundred likes already?
vcomein✌: seriously more than my prof pic?
vcomein✌: seriously?
vcomein✌: what is the world coming to?
Misshimizu: Clearly the world has turned decided to take out the trash
vcomein✌: (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
vcomein✌: you are the table
Misshimizu: You are still trash
JULY 20TH
HAPPY BIRTHDAY OIKAWA-KUN at 8:03AM
Misshimizu: Happy birthday Oikawa-kun
Misshimizu: I left you some coffee milk and milk bread on the counter
Misshimizu: To call a truce for the day
vcomein✌: if you wanted me so badly you couldve just asked
vcomein✌: ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)
Misshimizu: I threw out your Star Wars DVDs because I thought you would get lonely in the dumpster
grumpycatislol: BURN
grumpycatislol: great way to start the morn
grumpycatilol: http://i.imgur.com/DKYnDdo.gif
grumpycatislol: hb oikawa
hoot@meme: HAPPY BDAY OIKAWA
hoot@meme: http://i.imgur.com/YJC7xRO.png
vcomein✌: YOU DIDNT THROW THEM OUT DID YOU?
vcomein✌: YOU WOULDNT DARE
Sawamura_Daichi: Happy birthday, Oikawa. I made a reservation for us to go out and eat tonight at your favorite restaurant. I made it for 7:30PM. See you all later.
vcomein✌: thx guys
vcomein✌: ON MY BIRTHDAY TOO
vcomein✌: OK IM SORRY
vcomein✌: IM SORRY
vcomein✌: I WILL STOP HITTING ON YOU
vcomein✌: YOU DIDNT THROW THEM OUT DID YOU
vcomein✌: I KNOW YOURE READING THESE
Misshimizu: I accept your apology and I will hold you to what you just said
Misshimizu: No I did not throw out your DVDs
Misshimizu: I hid them in the cupboard behind the rice
Misshimizu: Ok Daichi-kun
JULY 21st
vcomein✌ has changed HAPPY BIRTHDAY OIKAWA-KUN to MITTY IS A JEDI MASTER at 12:03AM
hoot@meme: for once it wasnt me
hoot@meme: BUT MITTY IS STILL MY WAIFU
hoot@meme: DONT U DARE STEAL HER AWAY FROM ME
hoot@meme: AND NOYA
hoot@meme: AND RYU
hoot@meme: SHE IS STILL MY WAIFU BEFORE THEIRS
hoot@meme: DONT TELL THEM I SAID THAT
grumpycatislol: oikawa dude we can hear your crying from here
grumpycatislol: mitty i think u broke him
Sawamura_Daichi: At least we know that he likes his gift of extended blueray edition of Star Wars.
MITTY IS A JEDI MASTER at 3:58AM
grumpycatislol: omfg
grumpycatislol: is he watching it with commentary now??
grumpycatislol: OI
grumpycatislol: OIKAWA WATCH IT W HEADPHONES
grumpycatilol: I CAN HEAR IT BLASTING FRM UR COMPUTER FROM HERE
grumpycatislol: I KNO U CAN HEAR ME EVEN IF U LOCKED UR DOOR
grumpycatislol: OUR ROOMS R RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER SHITTYKAWA
grumpycatislol: I WANT TO SLEEP
MITTY IS A JEDI MASTER at 5:01AM
grumpycatislol: I S2G I AM GOING TO BREAKDOWN UR GODDAM DOOR ASSHOLE
vcomein✌: tbh i dont know why youre complaining...
grumpycatislol: I AM COMING IN
JULY 28th
MITTY IS A MEME QUEEN at 6:30PM
hoot@meme: LET IT BE KNOWN
hoot@meme: FOR THE RECORD OF THIS CHAT
hoot@meme: MY BEAUTIFUL WAIFU
hoot@meme: MITTY
hoot@meme: IS A MEME QUEEN
hoot@meme: AND I THOUGHT I COULDNT LUV HER MORE
hoot@meme: BUT I WAS WRONG
Misshimizu: Kouta kun please put a shirt on
Misshimizu: Oikawa kun is a virgin
Misshimizu: And you are upsetting his delicate maiden sensibilities
vcomein✌: i hate you so much
vcomein✌: you have all betrayed me
vcomein✌: you especially mitty
vcomein✌: i told you that in confidence
vcomein✌: when i was drunk
vcomein✌: you took advantage of me
Misshimizu: You took advantage of me
Misshimizu: I didn't ask you to take me into your confidence
grumpycatilol: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
hoot@meme: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOl
vcomein✌: you are dead to me mitty
vcomein✌: DEAD TO ME
Misshimizu: Then may I have the Star Wars DVD back? I think there is a 30 day refund policy
vcomein✌: OVER MY DEAD BODY
grumpcatislol: hahahaahhahahahah
grumpycatislol: sawamura where r u?
grumpycatislol: u r missing gold rn
grumpycatislol: oikawa went and locked himself in his room
vcomein✌: i'm going to bed
grumpycatislol: its 6:40
vcomein✌: whatever
vcomein✌: i'm sick
Misshimizu: Of being a virgin
vcomein✌: I HATE YOU
MITTY IS A MEME QUEEN at 9:28PM
Sawamura_Daichi: Shimizu isn't going to kill you Oikawa. You can come out. She says she'll apologize.
Misshimizu: Because dadchi scolded me
Misshimizu: I am sorry Oikawa kun
Misshimizu: That I told everyone about your virginity
Misshimizu: And how you are waiting for that special someone
Misshimizu: Like a pure innocent maiden
vcomein✌: YOU
vcomein✌: ARE
vcomein✌: GOING
vcomein✌: TO
grumpycatislol: DADCHI?
vcomein✌: DIE
hoot@meme: DADCHI?
vcomein✌: A
vcomein✌: seriously guys?
vcomein✌: i was on a roll
vcomein✌: wait what??!?!?!?!?!
vcomein✌: dadchi?!?!?!?
grumpycatislol has changed MITTY IS A MEME QUEEN to MITTY CALLED HIM DADCHI FIRST at 9:33PM
Sawamura_Daichi: Et tu Shimizu?
Misshimizu: Oops
vcomein✌: you are partially forgiven for your treason
Misshimizu: I was so worried
Misshimizu:（￣～￣;）
vcomein✌: bullied
vcomein✌: all the time
vcomein✌: i am telling iwachan
Misshimizu: Tell him I said hi
Sawamura_Daichi: Ask him if he wants to come over for dinner tomorrow.
hoot@meme: TELL IWAIZUMI I WILL DEFEAT HIM AT ARM WRESTLING
grumpycatislol: TELL IWAIZUMI THAT I AM PUTTING MY MONEY ON HIM TO DEFEAT BOKUTO AT ARM WRESTLING
hoot@meme: rly bro i am hurt rn
grumpycatislol: u kno u have a man crush on him 2
hoot@meme: ...yea but still
grumpycatislol: u r my #1 bro
grumpycatislol: but he is an arm wrestling pro
hoot@meme: dont talk to me rn
grumpycatislol: im srry bro
grumpycatislol: bro
grumpycatislol: my brorrito
grumpycatislol: im sorry
grumpycatislol: bro if you wont talk to me jus listen
grumpycatislol: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6m4FHjYINdA
hoot@meme: BRO
hoot@meme: BRO Y U KNO ME SO WELL
grumpycatislol: bc u r my one and only bro
grumpycatislol: also come out here and help me rek dadchi at mario kart
grumpycatislol: he has no game
hoot@meme: LOL son he skrewd
vcomein✌: i need to see this
AUGUST 7th
BADDE$T BITCHE$$ at 10:31PM
YachipersonB: so
YachipersonB: i thought you were kidding when you told me before
YachipersonB: but after this past weekend....
YachipersonB: they really DON’T KNOW?
YachipersonB: ლ(ಠ_ಠლ)
Misshimizu: I’m so embarrassed for them
Misshimizu: ALL of them
Misshimizu: I’m most embarrassed for Oikawa kun and Testsu kun…
Misshimizu: Mostly because they’ve spent more years together
YachipersonB: omg. OMg. omG. The kings have met their match. OMG.
YachipersonB: ༼ つ ◕o◕ ༽つ
Misshimizu: It’s been a month…
YachipersonB: ???
Misshimizu: Of living here and watching them all be…
YachipersonB: idiots???
YachipersonB: stupid????
YachipersonB: dense???
YachipersonB: dumdums???????? ―●○◎
Misshimizu: Emotionally constipated
YachipersonB: HA!
YachipersonB: ʕ̡̢̡̡̢̡̡̢♡ᵒ̴̷͈艸ᵒ̴̷͈॰ʔ̢̡̢̢̡̢̢̡̢✧
YachipersonB: so...youre certain that the other person feels the same way?
Misshimizu: There is no doubt
Misshimizu: It’s as bad if not as worse of Dadchi and Sugamama
YachipersonB: (◍˃̶ᗜ˂̶◍)ﾉ”
YachipersonB: well then…
YachipersonB: what are you going to do about it?
Misshimizu: (•ิ_•ิ)?
YachipersonB: youre going to do something about it right?
Misshimizu: …?
YachipersonB: KIYOKO-SENPAI!
Misshimizu: What?
YachipersonB: i mean, Kiyoko-senpai…it is the perfect chance
Misshimizu: ಠ , ಥ
Yachiperson B: for you to have some fun!!!!
YachipersonB: ಠ‿↼
Misshimizu: Hitoka-chan! I am...
YachipersonB: (╯•﹏•╰)
Misshimizu: So proud of you
YachipersonB: (⌒▽⌒)☆
YachipersonB: (☆▽☆)
YachipersonB: whats the plan capn? 1st lieutenant yachi reporting for dutyヾ(´(ｴ)｀ﾉﾞ
Misshimizu: Reliable as ever Hitoka-chan _へ__(‾◡◝ )>
Misshimizu: I think the first will be Testu kun
YachipersonB: ⁽(◍˃̵͈̑ᴗ˂̵͈̑)⁽
YachipersonB: keep me updated, Kiyoko-senpai!
Misshimizu: Always
Misshimizu: Good luck on your test tomorrow <3
YachipersonB: YOU BETCHA SENPAI!!!!
YachipersonB: ＼（＠￣∇￣＠）／