Chapter Text
“Bye bye, pretty butterfly,” sang Ladybug. “Miraculous Ladybug!”
There was the customary explosion of her Lucky Charm as a befuddled milkman sat up on the ground. He shook his head and looked around dazedly as the last effects of the akuma faded.
“That was, by far, the worst akuma we’ve ever faced,” declared Chat Noir in an unusually grave voice.
Ladybug satisfied smile changed to a quizzical one as she shifted her attention to him.
“The worst?” she repeated. “He wasn’t that dangerous. The worst he did was offend those vegans when he changed their water into milk.”
“I disagree, my lady,” said Chat in the same serious tone. “The worst damage that he did was offend me. You spent most of the battle too far away to hear my dairy puns, and he,” Chat turned to the milkman and advanced, “didn’t understand them at all.”
Ladybug rolled her eyes and her miraculous beeped warningly. “Bye, Chat!” she said, and dashed off.
“I was churning out puns,” Chat continued, oblivious, “but he didn’t laugh, or groan, or— or anything! How dairy not acknowledge my comedic genius!”
The milkman gazed up at Chat blankly.
“You see?” Chat exclaimed, turning back to Ladybug. She was already gone, a flash of red disappearing around the corner. He stood there stunned for a moment, then sighed heavily and twirled his staff. He leaped away from the scene as well just as the news reporters spotted him.
Several blocks away, he settled on the rooftop of a bakery. He paced moodily, staff still in hand.
I just wanted to be cheesy, he thought. Why are akumas always laughtose intolerant?
Of course, nobody was around to appreciate this brilliant new pun. Chat sighed once again and sat down, hugging his knees to his chest.
In truth, it wasn’t just the puns that were getting him down. As Adrien, he’d been pulled out of school for a weeklong fashion event in Milan. He’d been forced to behave professionally the entire time and had always gotten to bed far too tired to reply to Nino’s texts. Today was his first day back in Paris. The akuma attack had showed up out of nowhere, as usual, and he had jumped for joy at the thought of reuniting with his lady and exchanging the banter that he missed so much. However, the fight had taken longer than usual, and conversation had been limited. He was back in Paris, had seen his lady, and yet he was still starved for social interaction. It was frustrating…and lonely.
Chat didn’t notice the dark butterfly fluttering towards him. It landed on his staff, which he was still clutching, and he felt a strange rush. He sat up straight. A strange symbol glowing pink appeared before him.
Punisher, said a voice in his head. I am Papillon. You want Ladybug to be impressed by your quick wit. I can help you, but I’ll need something in return—
Chat cut him off with a snort of laughter. “Punisher!” he repeated, and lay back on the roof, nearly howling. “Punisher! That’s hilarious!”
Chat Noir, said Papillon sternly. His voice was a little quieter.
Chat was laughing too hard to respond.
Stop laughing, demanded Papillon, sounding as though he were calling to Chat from very far away.
Papillon’s symbol faded, and a butterfly detached itself from Chat’s staff. It was no longer completely black. It was now speckled with splotches of white, and it fluttered unsteadily. Chat’s laughter halted as he watched it with fascination. It flew slowly in small circles, as though unsure of itself. Then it froze, shivered, and crumbled into dust.
Chat stood and back away hastily. A slight breeze came and blew the dust away.
I need to tell Ladybug! he thought, then paused. I can’t tell Ladybug. She would ask why I almost got akumatized, and I… I can’t let her know. She’s so strong, how could she ever understand…
He stood alone on that rooftop, irresolute. Then he shook his head. This was a moment of weakness, he decided. I won’t let it happen again. I’ll be strong for you, my lady.
He turned and dashed away, feeling disturbed.