Chapter Text
Her hands were scratched with and she was bone tired after the series of exercises Luke had her go through for hours on end. She was used to scrapes and cuts from her scavenging days, but she felt entitled to complain, in his absence.
“Could you find a worse place?” Rey was muttering under her breath while she was gathering wood for the fire.
She wasn’t really mad at him because her faith in Luke was unshakeable and she believed he had a reason to choose that part of the planet for the lessons. She had a healthy awe for the legend of Luke Skywalker from childhood. Meeting Leia had sown a strong seed of trust in her brother. Getting to know Luke, living with him, being his student had turned the seed into a mighty oak. The shadow of that oak was that his devotion to her training had spoiled her just a little. Rey the orphan was sometimes acting up like the only child of a doting single parent.
It was getting dark and when she tripped on a root she said something very unladylike about her Master.
He was waiting for her outside the cave, having the nerve to look worried about her. She passed by him and threw the kindling in the makeshift fireplace. She liked the neat way in which he had arranged the stones. She was still unhappy about being in that cave instead of her bedroom in the temple so she decided not to smile or say anything nice. Like that was a decision she could stick to around him!
Luke arranged the kindling in a pyramid shape and Rey charted every one of the small, precise movements. She was always fascinated to watch him work. During their training sessions, he was a force of nature. Every time her concentration wavered, he would capitalize, always point out weaknesses she should improve. She had a collection of healed bruises on her body from their physical combat lessons, and a collection of scorches on her robes from their lightsaber training. This man was able to touch her with the lightsaber with such precision that he would only singe her clothes, and now he was using the same attention working with wood and stone to make a safe fire. She shook herself knowing that he was uncomfortable when he caught her being too reverent.
“Do we have anything to eat?” she asked trying to make it sound like “did you manage to find something to eat while I was doing all the hard work gathering wood for the fire”.
“In the backpack,” he said.
She opened it and frowned to find a single ration, neatly packed. It looked small and dry to Rey who had gotten used to the food grown in the temple’s garden. It wasn’t a matter of size. It just… didn’t fit with this paradise. Eating that spaceship food she found completely devoid of taste after he got her hooked on fresh salads. It felt wrong. She took a bite and then she realized it was the only food they had. She broke it in half and gave him the other piece.
“I had one earlier,” he said smiling.
She knew he was lying but that smile lit up the cave and she couldn’t call him out on the lie. She ate it slowly, but she still coughed barely able to swallow the dry food.
“Thank you,” she told him and meant it.
He looked at her, and she knew he could see she was disappointed with the food. She was beginning to feel like an ungrateful brat when he sighed and reached into his pocket.
“I have something else, but I would have rather you not eat it at night.”
She perked up at the way he said this. It sounded mysterious and delicious. And not to be eaten at night? She absolutely had to try it. He shook his head, resigned to indulging her again.
He extended his arm and in his palm was a leaf and on that leaf a small pile of delicious looking beads. The smell coming from them made her mouth water. They smelled like the hot chocolate he sometimes made for her, but with a hint of… she couldn’t say what.
“They are cacao beans. They’re sweet on the outside, but the inside is bitter. The flavor is more intense but you have to prepare for the bitterness.”
She took one at first, then, seeing he was still holding his hand out, she took most of them. He closed the leaf back over the ones she left and put them back in his pocket.
“Why shouldn’t I eat them at night?” she asked with her mouthful and her eyes closed, savoring the taste and the aroma.
“They are… energizing. You might have trouble getting to sleep.”
She considered swallowing the bitter, amazing tasting bean she was sucking on so that she would sound more outraged but couldn’t bring herself to give up the pleasurable sensations.
“Then why did you give me this?” she said, sounding intimidating not at all.
Luke didn’t even pause from arranging the sleeping bags to answer her.
“Come on, after what you’ve been through today? You’re already half asleep.”
She wanted to argue for the sake of arguing with him. Instead, she yawned. She crawled into her sleeping bag. It was the one closest to the fire, she noticed. He was always so kind to her, she thought drowsily.
“Thank you,” she mumbled drifting to sleep, and she smiled content as a kitten to feel Luke’s hand patting her shoulder and mussing her hair a little.
She woke up abruptly. It felt like she only slept for five minutes but the fire was gone. She looked at the pathetic cinders and wished she had gathered more wood. The sounds coming from outside the cave were making things even worse. It was raining. Not only she heard the incessant sound of water falling from the sky, but the occasional flashes scarring the sky offered enough light for her to see the torrent.
Rey wasn’t afraid of the storm. After the first months on this planet, she got used to the abundance of water. What still bothered her was the cold. She willed her body to remain calm. Shivering was a sign of defeat. Not to mention she might wake up Luke. Bothering him was the last thing she wanted. As if he heard her thoughts, Luke’s voice broke the silence.
“The rain will stop in a few hours. Here, have this,” he said.
She felt the weight of another blanket on her and she turned to face him.
“Are you crazy?” she asked looking at him, covered only with his robe while she had his sleeping bag as a second blanket on top of hers.
“I’ve been through a lot worse,” he said.
She knew about Hoth. She knew that he nearly froze to death on that planet. She decided there was no point in arguing with him, so she just unzipped her sleeping bag, inched her way closer to him, pulling her sleeping bag from underneath her. She put both sleeping bags on top of them.
“Don’t say you’re not cold,” she warned him, feeling him try to get away.
She was nestled against his chest now. His body was as cold as hers. She put an arm around his waist and his arm instinctively closed around her shoulders. She was so tired, but the fluttering in her stomach was chasing away the sleep as much as the cold. She shouldn’t have eaten the damn, delicious cacao nibs. His beard was ticking her face. She could feel herself further and further away from sleep. She sighed. Her breath probably bothered him because he fidgeted, trying to find a better position. After a few more attempts to find a comfortable position herself, Rey regretfully turned his back to him.
She missed the feel of his strong body under her arm. She missed the way her palm rested against his back. She even missed the tickling of his beard. The new position had advantages though. Now his arm was draped across her waist. She felt more comfortable. Her back seemed to fit perfectly against him. She snuggled into him. She closed her eyes and listened for the beat of his heart. It was strong and fast. Like the rhythm of a war song. This man that meant safety for her was a fearsome warrior. She smiled and tried to get even closer to him, knowing it was impossible but relishing the attempt.
Luke’s arm was no longer on her waist. His hand gripped her hip and held her still. Her heart stopped. She felt a tinge of something harsh in the Force.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Nothing. Just stop squirming and go to sleep.”
She huffed.
“I can’t go to sleep, can I? Those cacao nibs are tickling me right here,” she said and took his hand placing it on her lower belly where she felt the constant fluttering.
Luke was taken by surprise enough to allow her to move his hand. It was her turn to be surprised when his hand slid a little lower and his hips bucked against her ass. He pulled his hips away from her instantly, and put his hand on her hip again. Too late. The damage was done. Everything had changed. She identified that vague tickling sensation as desire. Only minutes ago she had been cold and now she was burning. She tried to push against him, but his hand was firm. She desperately wanted to confirm that her desire was reciprocated.
“Stop it,” he said and meant it.
“But…”
“I’m not dead, Rey,” he interrupted her. “But I am your teacher. And your friend. I’m asking you to let this go.”
No. Not asking. He was begging her to help him stay true to himself. She could feel it would take very little for her to break through. One more touch. One kiss.
Her body cried out in desperate need. Her heart, which already belonged to this man, was urging her onwards. She wished she were the spoiled brat he had encouraged her to be. She wished she would dare to take what she wanted. With that simple, unconscious movement, he had opened her eyes. She could finally see that the trust and adoration had turned into love. With that gesture he had let her know she was his equal, and worthy of his desire.
“This does not end here,” she told him and felt his grip tighten on her hip.
“It ends for now,” he whispered.
She could live with “for now”.