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James knew his soulmate's biggest secret. That wasn't exactly unique to him, everyone had their soulmate's biggest secret written on their body somewhere. James was just thankful he could easily hide it. His parents hadn't told anyone the secret, and they also kept it covered. Some people didn't do that, which James found rude.
He'd been raised with respect, and he'd been raised with knowledge on werewolves and the discrimination they faced in the wizarding world. James had decided at a young age that he'd do whatever he could to make his soulmate's life better as soon as he figured out who his soulmate was.
It took him three months in Hogwarts, sharing a dorm with Remus, to figure out the truth about his monthly disappearances. If he'd just vanished once a month he wouldn't have thought anything about it, but he go irritable the days going up to the full moon. Then he vanished on the full moon, and spent the days after in pain and exhausted.
James had been raised learning everything he could about werewolves, and his dream was to come up with a potion to help relieve the symptoms. While he spent so much time obsessed with quidditch, he spent just as much with his nose in a potions book. He knew Remus was a werewolf. He knew that there was good chance Remus was his soulmate. And he knew it was best to wait for Remus to tell him when he was ready.
So James waited.
He waited, and concocted plans on how he could help Remus.
And he waited more.
And he waited for even longer, and researched how to put his plan into action to help Remus when he finally told them.
And he waited a bit more.
Remus didn't want to tell them. James had realised that after a few years. It wasn't that he didn't trust them, James understood that. It was more likely that Remus was scared. James had to admit that he had every right to be. He knew what could happen to werewolves, and he knew the sort of reaction people could have to that.
Remus didn't get to tell them in his own time. Sirius had brought it up. He hadn't been rude about it, but he had sort of put Remus on the spot. James had tried to shut the conversation down, but Remus finally told them the truth. Peter had been scared, which Remus had understood. Sirius had been too upset that Remus hadn't trusted them, and too happy that he'd been right, to really react to the news.
James had waited for the other two to leave before he told Remus anything. He'd had to bring up his idea of becoming illegal animagus to offer support during a full moon. He'd sort of phrased it in a way to make Sirius and Peter think it was their idea, just to get them to eave without him.
Remus watched him closely. James supposed that made sense. He hadn't exactly given anything away. Well, Remus knew he was willing to help, but other than that he hadn't said anything
"I knew," James said finally, looking away. He didn't want to see Remus' look of betrayal.
"You knew?" Remus asked after a moment.
"I've known since first year," James told him, looking up. Remus' was watching him closely, his head slightly tilted as he took the information in.
"You didn't tell anyone?" he asked. James shook his head.
"And put you in harms way? I would never," he said. "My soulmate is a werewolf, I was raised on books about werewolves and the discrimination they face. I know the danger they could be in just for being a werewolf. Something that in most cases they don't have any control over!" Remus was blinking at him, blinking fast too. He moved his hands up slightly to cover his face and then brought them back down.
James smiled at him as he processed his reaction. Remus moves his arms about as if he were gesturing along to a very passionate conversation. He looked adorable, James realised. It wasn't the first time he'd had that thought. It probably wouldn't be the last time either. He glanced away and took a moment to shut his own brain up.
It wasn't his turn to be the centre of importance. Their conversation was about Remus, and how he'd known he was a werewolf. James had only offhandedly mentioned his soulmate to explain why he knew so much about werewolves. He wasn't going to mention his hope that Remus was his soulmate. James could find Remus cute when he wasn't panicking over James knowing the truth.
"Why didn't you bring it up sooner?" Remus asked, his eyebrows sort of scrunched together. James shrugged.
"I was waiting for you to be ready to talk about it," James told him. Remus froze again and started blinking rapidly. "It's your secret, it's for you to tell."
"James, are we soulmates?" Remus asked. James shrugged.
"I mean, maybe?" he said, blushing slightly. Remus laughed and nodded.
Remus knew his soulmates biggest secret. And he knew his soulmate knew his, it was that part that scared him. It was the fact that someone out there had the words 'is a werewolf' written on them. Someone had a mark on them, more permanent than a tattoo or a scar, unable to be covered, announcing to the world that their soulmate was a werewolf.
His was better. The words, written on his pelvic bone, while confessing to a crime, weren't dangerous to his existence. They were easy to cover up, in fact it would be harder to put them on display. 'Is an illegal stag animagus'.
Sometimes, when he felt hopeful, Remus liked to think it was connected to him being a werewolf. He doubted it though. Who was going to become an animagus for their werewolf soulmate?
Then he'd met James. James seemed like the sort of person to become an illegal animagus. Remus could see him doing it for any number of reasons really. He'd been a bit lost when his secret had gotten out, and James had been so supportive.
His mind had latched onto the soulmate comment. How could it not? James could be brash, and occasionally cruel, but he was always kind to his friends. He was sweet, and he was good looking. And he could make him laugh. He made him feel special sometimes.
He'd been hoping for a while that James was his soulmate, but Remus had sort of accepted that he wasn't his given he'd never brought up the werewolf thing. He'd resigned himself to a life of unrequited love, which despite soulmates, wasn't actually all the uncommon. Then James had said his soulmate was a werewolf.
Remus hadn't let himself get his hopes up too much. After all, both his other friends were going to become animagi too.
James sprouted antlers one morning. Partial transformation for animagi wasn't uncommon, especially in the early stages. But sat atop James head was the confirmation Remus had been looking for. They were all in their dorm room, and James had been complaining about a pain in his head before it had happened.
"Bloody hell James mate, look at you!" Sirius said, pointing to his head. James seemed horrified as his hands gently brushed over the antlers sticking out of his skull.
"What if they don't go away?" James asked turning to Sirius. Remus shook his head. It wouldn't be a secret if the antlers stayed.
"They will," Remus promised him. James spun around to him, his hands still holding onto the new addition to his body.
"How can you be so certain about that?" Peter asked. Remus shrugged slightly, but he kept his eyes on James. He hoped he could read his expression, see what he was trying to say in his eyes.
"I just am," he said. James nodded and slowly lowered his hands from the antlers.
"I can't go out there like this," James said. Remus hummed, it was true. James looked at him, practically begging him with his eyes to come up with an excuse for the two of them to stay behind together.
"How about you two tell Madame Pomfrey I'm aching again, and James has volunteered to stay behind to help me?" Remus suggested. Sirius and Peter nodded. It wouldn't be unbelievable, the full moon was coming up.
James and Remus watched as the pair walked out the room and then stood awkwardly in silence.
"So," they started at the same time. They both laughed and Remus smiled at him. James nodded to him, telling him to go first.
"Wouldn't be much of a secret if the antlers stuck around," Remus murmured.
"We're soulmates?" James asked. Remus shrugged but nodded.
"Well your soulmate is a werewolf, and mine's an illegal stag animagus," he said. James laughed slightly.
"Ah, no proof then," he said, laughing as he did. Remus laughed slightly too. "You know, I'd been hoping it was you."
"Yeah?" Remus asked.
"Yeah," James said stepping towards him. Remus reached out for him. James wrapped his arms around Remus' neck, though he was blushing slightly. Remus let his hands settle on James' waist.
"Can I?" he asked. James grinned at tilted his head back slightly, before nodding.
"Please do," he said. That was more than enough for Remus. He leant in and carefully brushed his lips against James'. It was barely a moment but James clung onto him. Remus pulled back slightly, but James pulled him in again. Their lips smashed against together, and Remus pulled him closer to him. They were as close as they could get, but it didn't stop James trying to pull him closer.
They pulled apart, both breathless and flustered. They awkwardly smiled at each other, before laughing. It would take a little while, moving their friendship to a relationship. They'd probably keep it quiet for a while, just as they got used to each other in a new way. They'd figure it all out, they were soulmates after all.