Chapter Text
Some people who got separated from their Visions had issues with memory loss.
According to the Traveler, there had been many such cases in Inazuma during the Vision Hunt Decree. Allogenes who became mere shells of themselves and could barely remember their names or who they were before, losing sight of important events and people that had been a part of their lives. A tragic event, indeed.
But every so often, Diluc wished that had been his case.
Sure, he had felt like a shell of himself during those years spent apart from his Vision, and he was aware now that the emptiness he felt then was more than just his despair over the fact that his life had completely crumbled in front of him. However, the memory loss hadn’t been an issue.
As a matter of fact, the event that had been replaying in his mind for the last couple of hours, as he lay awake that night, was so deeply ingrained in his brain that it never left him, not even for a single fleeting moment. He wished he could erase it, even if just temporarily, though he was not sure if he deserved the reprieve he would get from this small glimpse of amnesia.
It had been worse when he wasn’t home, for a myriad of reasons. The proximity to the occasion, the hole left in his soul - both by the absence of his Vision and the constant meaningless slaughter -, the nightmares that were way more frequent back then… still, even after coming back to Mondstadt and re-establishing a somewhat cordial relationship with his brother, the mere sight of Kaeya could still trigger sleepless nights fueled by guilt, in which he would constantly torture himself with all the things he could’ve done differently, all the details he would fix if he had the chance to do it all over again.
Nonetheless, there was no such thing as a do-over, and he would have to live the rest of his life with the heavy weight of regret sitting on his shoulders…
Perhaps he should try tricking his mind into thinking about anything else just so he could finally fall asleep and hopefully have some dreamless rest, because Archons know this issue would come back to haunt him sooner rather than later anyway.