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It had been a year, three months, one week and seventeen hours that Damian had been living in the manor. How did he know that? He counted it. Counting all those days was a very easy task, especially for him to organize himself.
As stupid as it seemed, he still hadn't gotten used to his new life with his father. Everything was still so confusing, the rules, the displays of affection, the freedom with which his brothers talked and played with his father, the lack of training.
Yes, father wasn't giving him any training! He didn't even make him Robin! Did father think he wasn't capable? He didn't know, it was all so confusing, but he didn't dare ask, he liked not having to train.
But what if his father was already evaluating him? Seeing if he was really good enough? If so, how long would he do that? Damian needs to prove himself, and it definitely won't be with a stuffed elephant – no offense to Richie.
Damian waited until everyone was asleep so he could sneak out of his room and train in the cave's training room. He hadn't been there much, but he'd explored enough to know where the equipment was. Damian grabbed a wooden sword - the only one available - and began practicing a few strikes, being careful not to make too much noise because he knew Drake and his father were extremely light sleepers.
Damian stopped when he heard a noise on the stairs, he went to the door of the training room to spy on whoever it was, but failed miserably due to the lack of lighting. The person began to approach and Damian left the door to hide in the shadows, trying to control his panting and not make any noise.
The person approached him and sighed. Perhaps he had disappointed her with his failure to hide.
"Dami, what are you doing here at this hour?" Richard asked, bending down to be face to face with the child.
"I was training." Damian said simply leaving Dick confused. "Training? It's two in the morning, Dami." Dick knew Damian would start training sooner or later, but he didn't expect it to be so late at night. "Come on, I'll take you back to bed." He opened his arms and waited for Damian to come closer so he could carry him back to bed.
"But the training..." Damian began and pressed the wooden sword against his body "you can train tomorrow, I can even help you if you want, but now it's time to sleep, okay?" Dick placed his hand gently on his cheek and caressed the place to convey comfort to Damian, who gently released the sword and approached his brother.
Dick picked up his little brother in his arms, carrying him back to the room. "Why are you awake?" Damian asked, already feeling sleepy. Richard smiled, his little brother was so cute, "I can't sleep, so I decided to go over some reports but I ended up seeing a small shadow in the training room." He explained, stroking Damian's back.
Damian groaned sleepily "sorry for disturbing you." He said, tightening his arms around his brother's neck. Dick squeezed the little body in his arms "you don't disturb me, Damian. You're my little brother, I don't mind having to take care of you, I want to do it actually.”
Dick enters the room and takes Damian to the bed, carefully placing him on the mattress. "Where's Richie? Do you want to sleep with him?" Richard asks, smiling as he remembers the stuffed elephant he had given the boy a few weeks after he arrived at the manor. Damian points to the small shelf full of things that Damian found beautiful. "And all these things? Do you like to collect?" Dick goes to the shelf and picks up the stuffed animal "I also liked to collect things when I was your age. I liked to collect pretty rocks that I found while traveling with the circus." He explains and gives the elephant to Damian who grabs the stuffed animal as if it were going to run away "I think I still have them stored somewhere, if you want I can give them to you. I guarantee they are very beautiful.”
"Richard?”
“Yes?” He sat down next to Damian and ran his hand through his black locks.
"Can you stay here...for a while?" Damian asked, taking a moment to speak because of sleep.
Dick smiled sweetly, "Do you want me to sleep with you?" Damian mumbled something inaudible, but moved to the side so his brother could lie down next to him. Dick lay down next to Damian and cradled the boy in his arms, in this position he could smell his brother's baby shampoo, he couldn't help the smile that appeared on his face at that. "Good night, Dami." He kissed the top of the boy's head who was already sleeping peacefully.
★
Damian woke up when he no longer felt his brother's warmth beside him, becoming alert. But he soon relaxed when he saw the man carefully leaving his room.
He showered and got ready, taking off his pajamas to put on other comfortable clothes - Damian didn't understand why he would take off one comfortable outfit to put on another comfortable outfit - and went down to the kitchen in the hope of finding Alfred.
On the way to the kitchen, Damian thought about how to show his father that he was capable of becoming Robin. He couldn't do it by killing someone, since that was the first rule, - which he didn't understand, since in the league killing someone of 'higher level' was considered a very good thing - especially after he had almost killed Tim twice.
If he wanted his father's approval, then he would have to do it himself. Like he always did.
When his father went out on patrol with his brothers, he would run away, he would go after them. He would take care of the case. Alone.
It shouldn't be hard, he'd already faced worse when he was four. Just a few henchmen wouldn't be anything compared to Ra's treatment.
He just had to beat up a few people and then get back to the mansion. It's not complicated.
At least that's what he thought.
It wasn't long before night fell and everyone was putting on their suits to go out on patrol. Nightwing approached him and kissed the top of his head "we're going, okay? If you need anything call Alfred or call me, I'll come as soon as possible." He said, it was always the same speech. Damian doubted that anyone would come quickly just because he needed something.
"Don't give Alfred a hard time, kiddo." Jason walked over, ruffling Damian's hair and grinning mischievously. Damian likes Jason and he knows the feeling is mutual. Jason took care of him for the first three years of his life and Damian was a key player in getting Jason's memory back after the Lazarus Pit. Maybe that's why he feels more comfortable with Jason.
Damian doesn't blame Jason for leaving him in the league, but sometimes he wonders 'what would have happened if Jason had taken me with him?' Maybe he wouldn't have all the scars, maybe he would have been a normal kid, or maybe nothing would have changed at all.
"I won't." He rolled his eyes, he wasn't a bother, he barely left the room! Behind Jason, a little away, he saw Timothy. He and Drake didn't get along at all at first, but now the man seems to want to get closer to him but doesn't seem to know how to do it. It's not like Damian would make it easy, he still blamed himself for trying to kill his brother and probably wouldn't forgive himself, making him shy away from any chance of talking to Timothy.
"Good. See you tomorrow, kid." Jason tried to ruffle Damian's hair again, but got a slap from the boy which made him laugh.
"Go on, you idiot." Damian said, rolling his eyes when Jason stuck his tongue out at him. "TT”
"Bye, Dami. No training until we're done, understood?" Damian waved and Dick smiled before heading towards Tim and Jason.
An hour had passed since his brothers and father had left. Damian stood up and grabbed the medium-sized box from under his bed. Inside the box was a uniform he used to wear in the league. The outfit was entirely black with a mask to cover his mouth and a hood that covered his face with a dark shadow. A common ninja outfit if it weren't for the corset that helped him maintain good posture and the fabric of the suit, made of elastane, being tailored for him. Normally, the fabric of the suit is cotton, being a little loose to allow access to movement.
He carefully opened the window and began to leave, it was not an easy task to escape the mansion, but Damian made sure to disable the gate's shocks and memorize the traps. They were not for him, since he had stopped trying to escape after three months of living there, this was just security.
Damian had a hard time getting through the traps, but he still got through. Maybe it was because he had stopped training over a year ago. Don't get him wrong, all this change is so confusing, the freedom, the lack of pressure, no one demands or fights him to do something. They give him space, privacy. Father gives them a few lectures, obviously, but nothing he says can overcome the punishment his brothers would get if they were in the league. If they were lucky, they might spend two days in the well or in the middle of the desert, alone, without food or water.
He also got a small belt from the training room, he kept a spare cell phone and some weapons there (his sword, a dagger and some bandages and painkillers in case he needed them).
The night was peaceful, if not for the abandoned warehouse full of criminals moving kilos of drugs to a truck. It was a small case, but Damian was just warming up, and it was the only crime he'd come across anyway.
He crept through the shadows, his steps completely careful and silent. He approached the truck, where the driver stood nonchalantly with the door open and completely immersed in his phone, not noticing the small figure that materialized from the shadows beside him.
Damian covered his mouth as soon as the attack so as not to risk others finding out, he slammed the man's head hard into the top of the steering wheel, making sure not to hit the horn in the process.
He did it one by one, pulling them into the shadows and leaving them unconscious - not dead - to tie them up and then call the police with an anonymous tip. But when Damian went to capture the second-to-last criminal, he broke free, throwing him where the others could see him.
"You shitty boy, you think you can capture me like that? Find someone your own size, shorty." The man held his revolver and pointed it at the boy's head. "Only if you fight someone your own level, you piece of trash." Damian attacked with his sword, ducking and dodging the shots fired in his direction.
He lunged from the side, making a shallow cut on the man. Damian kicked the man behind the knee to make him fall.
He kicked the man in the head again, knocking him unconscious. He turned to the other two who were even closer than he thought. One of them attacked with a knife while the other went for a gun. The man with the knife attacked, trying tirelessly to hit his head, Damian dodged his attacks to get a good distance to attack. I can't kill, he repeated in his mind as his anger grew.
Damian couldn't attack, not at that distance, but the man was almost throwing himself at him with the knife, and because of Damian's short stature this gave the man an advantage in hitting his head and other lethal points.
Damian heard a noise, a gunshot. He didn't care about it because he had gotten enough distance to disarm the man and slam his head into the wall, leaving him unconscious as well.
He looked to where the man should be, but saw no one, he had fled. Damian arrested the two unconscious men along with the others and called the police using a voice modifier, he gave all the necessary information and then threw the cell phone in a trash can so as not to be traced.
He quickly left the place to go back home, to the comfort of his bed, where he shouldn't have left. He felt something wet pass over his hand and quickly went to check. Had he gotten wet? No...there was no water there…
He went to a streetlight to check the liquid on his hand. Blood. He was bleeding. It took Damian a second to understand, but he soon turned his body a little just to see the large stain of blood that was increasingly soaking his uniform. He can't stay here, there's no time to bandage it, his father will be here soon. Of course Batman would know about something like that and, as much as he needs to prove himself good enough, his father can't know that he got hurt, it would be so embarrassing, and his father would be disappointed.
His mother would be disappointed.
Damian ran back to the manor, trying all the while not to put too much pressure on his injured side. He climbed in through the window and went straight to the bathroom. Behind his hair creams was a small suitcase, Alfred probably already knew about it, with bandages, saline solution, alcohol and more painkillers.
He took off the top of his uniform and looked at the wound. The bullet had grazed him, not making a deep cut near his left rib. Damian hadn't felt the slight sting because of the adrenaline and the fact that he had some resistance to pain - which he had obviously learned from his training in the league.
He took a shower and disinfected the wound, then wrapped the bandage around his torso, being careful not to wrap it too tightly. As soon as he went to bed, his father opened the door.
Damian lay still, breathing calmly beneath the covers. He felt the mattress dip slightly beside him and a hand rested on his shoulder.
"Sleep well, son." A chaste kiss on his forehead "I'm sorry I didn't get to spend as much time with you as I’ld like." He brushed a strand of hair away from his boy's face and smiled before leaving.
Damian fell asleep from exhaustion but happy to know that his father came to say goodnight to him.
★
The next morning, Damian woke up sore. The wound hurt and his arm was numb and tingling, he must have slept with his bad side on top of his arm. How great.
He went to the bathroom to check the condition of the wound, opting for a quick shower with a mild soap. It couldn't get infected or hurt too much, otherwise he would have to tell his family.
He cleaned and bandaged the wound again, put on light but warm clothing to protect him from the Gotham cold, and went down to the kitchen.
There was no one - besides Alfred, of course - awake so he would have some peace. He saw Alfred making coffee and heating up some water separately to make tea. Damian doesn't like coffee very much, neither he nor Jason drink it, they always opt for tea - Jason especially only drinks Alfred's and an Arabic tea that Damian makes when he wants to sleep. Maybe he'll show up today, Damian misses him - even if he'll never admit it.
Tim drinks energy drinks, which Damian thinks is fine if he doesn't mix it with coffee. He thinks the combination is weird, but his brother says it's great for staying awake, but that he shouldn't copy it for health and healthy sleep.
Richard would only show up at lunchtime because he was busy - sleeping. Damian went to stand next to Alfred to watch him do things. Alfred smiled slightly, "good morning, young master Damian." Damian nodded, not wanting to talk.
Alfred made a quick sandwich for the little boy and offered it to him, Damian gladly accepted, being at least a little happy that Alfred had made it. Damian went back to the table and ate his sandwich in silence, thinking about things to do today.
He could take over the movie theater and stay there all day, it would be comfortable and quiet, with no people bothering him or making him upset. Or he could spend the day with his sisters, he misses Steph and Cass but it would be hard to deal with Steph's antics because of the injury. He could also start a new book that Jason has been bugging him to read soon or start a new painting.
He is so lost in his thoughts that he doesn't notice Tim sitting across from him with a can of energy drink and a computer. He has dark bags under his eyes and he looks tired, a common occurrence for anyone who lives with him. "Good morning." He says quietly to no one in particular, "good morning, Master Timothy. I see you haven't slept again tonight." Tim sighs, but doesn't try to argue.
"Pennyworth is right. You should get some sleep, Drake." Damian said indifferently, not even looking at the older man. Tim looked at him confused, Damian barely spoke to him and when he did it was always something negative. Maybe he was delusional. "Yeah, I definitely need to sleep." He picked up his notebook and turned to leave the kitchen.
The morning was quiet, his father hadn't shown up for breakfast, Jason hadn't shown up yet, Richard wouldn't be home any time soon, and Tim was supposedly asleep. Damian grabbed some blankets and pillows and made a cozy corner in the movie theater, he asked Alfred to make him some popcorn, and then he locked himself in the dark room. He must have been there for at least two hours before someone came looking for him, which he thought was great.
"Hey kid?" Jason opened the door and found Damian in the middle of a pile of blankets, an empty bowl beside him as he stared at him with big green eyes. Cute. "Dickie's been desperately looking for you, you know?" He walked into the room and looked at the screen "do you like Disney?" he asked, "what's Disney?" Damian was confused, wasn't that tangled..?
"Disney is an entertainment company, in this case, Tangled, Zootopia, Little Mermaid and those movies are from Disney. But it doesn't just have animated movies, you know? It has the park, interactive services, movies, there's a ton of stuff. Got it?" He explained, listing the children's movies that Damian liked to watch the most - according to Dick and Bruce. Damian nodded and got out of his cocoon of blankets, feeling cold.
"Sometimes I forget how cold it is here." Damian grumbles, Jason runs his hand through his head, playing with his hair "it's hard to get used to it. Coming from the fucking desert to Gotham is quite an experience." They walked into the living room and found Dick scolding Tim for not getting at least six hours of sleep, he thinks?
"I found the kid." Jason announced, sitting sloppily in the armchair next to Tim. "Dami!" Dick smiled without showing his teeth, approaching his little brother for a hug. Damian didn't know what to do, Richard's hugs are tight - and very comfortable, by the way - and that could make his injury hurt. Damn, if he were in the league, hiding an injury would be so easy, but he can't anymore, he can't lie to his family.
"No hugs." He said without looking at his brother. He had to be strong. "No hugs? I thought you liked hugs." Richard looked confused, this was the first time in a while that Damian had refused hugs. "I like it! I really do. I just can't be hugged." He explained simply.
"Can't be hugged? Damian, if it's something related to you being a former assassin and stuff, you can rest assured, we don't..." "I'm injured." Damian said simply, not wanting to expand on the explanation. It was an uncomfortable feeling to have to confess this, he felt so weak after finally telling them. He didn't like it.
"Injured?!" His brothers shouted together worried for the boy "how did you get hurt? Did you fall down the stairs or something? No, I would have heard if you had." Tim said quickly and corrected himself, not understanding how Damian could have been hurt so much that he couldn't hug. "I was shot." Damian said again without looking at the three.
"What?!" They yelled again "How the fuck did you get shot?" Jason asked, outraged and confused by the situation.
"He ran away."
Bruce walked into the room, his phone in his hand as he showed a video of a child fighting with a grown man while another man is holding a gun, the recording cuts from there. You couldn't see Damian's face at any point in the recording, but Bruce knew where the uniform was from and knew even more who used the same fighting tactics.
"Do you want to explain to me why you ran away? I thought we were past that." Bruce looked disappointed, but not angry - which Damian thought was even worse. "I-I thought... I thought I needed to prove myself to be good enough." He said sadly, he didn't want to disappoint his father. What if he gave up on him? What if now he really sent him back to the league? He doesn't want to go back. He can't go back. He…
"Damian, look at me." His father called out to him, kneeling in front of him to match his height. Damian felt tears pricking at the corners of his eyes the more he thought about all the torture and abuse he had suffered in that place.
"Don't cry, there's no reason to cry, honey." Dick cooed, calming his boy's little heart, they were all on the floor surrounding him, even Timothy was there. "Why did you need to prove yourself 'good enough'?" "I-I you didn't charge me anything, no training. I thought you would evaluate me to see my potential to become Robin, but you didn't. I thought, I thought you were already evaluating me. That it was only a matter of time before you discarded me, returned me to the league, I..." He was hyperventilating, his sobs becoming violent. He hated this. He was so, so weak. His grandfather would be so disappointed, he would have gotten a grounding of at least a week.
Tim hesitantly pulled him into his lap, he knew what it was like to need a hug, an affirmation that he wouldn't go back to the hell that was dealing with Ra's and his own parents. Damian let himself be cradled carefully in Timothy's arms, feeling terrible about everything. "You don't have to prove yourself to be good enough, Damian. And if B tried to return you to Ra's, I'd cut his dick off myself." Jason said seriously, earning an unfriendly look from Bruce "Son, I wasn't giving you any training because you're too young, you've been through a lot already, I just want you to be a kid for once. I'm never going to return you to the league, if you do something wrong then I'll correct you, I'll teach you that it's not right and expect you to listen to me. Besides, you have your brothers and Alfred to help you. You're not alone.”
Damian calmed down a little more with that, tears still rolling down his slightly red cheeks. "Let us see the wound, love." Tim said calmly, stroking his black hair. 'Love', Damian liked the nickname, it was the first time Tim had referred to him in an affectionate way.
Damian lifted his shirt slightly, revealing the bandage, which was slightly stained with blood. "It's not a big deal, the bullet grazed it. The guy looked too scared to shoot properly, so he ran away." He explained, Bruce nodded, "Still, I'll ask Alfred to take a look." He got up to look for the older man, but was stopped by Jason, "Hey, B. Can you pass me the video? I'm going to hunt down the guy with the gun." He said simply, Bruce sighed, not liking the attitude at all, but if he didn't pass it then Tim would.
Damian spent the day with his brothers, they made sure to stay with him in the movie theater where they put on several comedies and movies to 'give the kid culture' - as Jason put it. Alfred took a look at his wound and applied a product that Damian had no idea the name of, but it stung like hell. He changed the bandages for a clean one and told him not to overexert himself.
"You are safe." That's what his brain was repeating at this moment.