Chapter Text
Over the course of the next week, I slowly figure out what I want to write for my poem.
I work slowly, thinking carefully about what I’ve experienced recently that would be worth writing a poem.
Simultaneously, I keep circling back to my promise to impress Natsuki, and so I keep thinking about writing some kind of silly love poem.
Will I really be able to impress her again, now that she’s about to become a professional author and I’m exactly as experienced as I was in high school?
While at work, I thumb through a few poems by Shel Silverstein to hunt for ideas.
In spite of myself, I feel kind of embarrassed. Isn’t this kind of childish?
Not to mention unoriginal. I should try to write something that’s my own.
Do I even have any poetic thoughts? I’ll have to reflect on it.
…
It’s Thursday night, and I’m starting to get high-school-type anxiety about this whole poem thing.
Should I just say I couldn’t think of anything?
Or is that as cheap a cop-out as it sounds?
I shake my head. I owe it to the club to put in an effort.
I’ll just sit down at my desk and write what comes to mind. It might not be good, but it’ll probably sound like me.
As I sit next to the window in my room, I look out at the streetlight.
We share a moment, and then I nod, suddenly knowing what to write.
—
The Streetlight
The streetlight
Is always right.
She sends me off to bed.
The streetlight
Is always right.
That’s why she’s never left!
—
I chuckle, proud of myself as I think of that little pun at the end. But…
Isn’t this kind of short?
I want to add to it, but the more I look at it, the more I like it at just this simple length. It says all it wants to say.
I look down at the blankness of the rest of the page, and remember the Shel Silverstein book I looked through.
Underneath, I make a crude little drawing of a streetlight shining down on a stick-figure, who looks up into its light.
After a bit more thinking, I draw a little bow on the top of the streetlight, and giggle to myself.
…
As much as I liked my short little poem after I’d written it, I’ve started to feel pretty insecure about it today.
Will it be insulting to the other girls, who have probably spent the whole week crafting theirs, to show them something I hurriedly scribbled down the night before?
Unfortunately, I’m out of time to try anything else, as Monika and Yuri come in the front door together, seemingly having met outside.
Yuri has her hair down today. Monika has hers in that classic white bow, seemingly for nostalgia’s sake.
Monika greets me cheerily.
Monika: “Hi, Mochi! Excited to share poems today?”
I chuckle, betraying my nerves.
Mochi: “Heh, yeah, I’m sure you guys all wrote something awesome!”
Yuri: “Well… do not sell yourself short by excluding yourself from that corpus. We all wrote something awesome.”
Yuri offers a forced-looking grin.
Mochi: “Uh, thank you…”
I’m not sure how to take that.
Suddenly, Natsuki bursts in, wearing a black crop top and a black denim skirt, with some fishnet leggings and her pair of Demonias.
I blush at the sight of her. Sometimes I can’t believe I’m dating someone so…!
Natsuki: “Heyyy, Monika!”
Monika: “Oh! Hi, Natsuki.”
Natsuki stands up and leans forward, smirking at her.
Natsuki: “Hope you’re ready to be totally blown away by my poem.”
Monika: “Well, it’s not a…”
Monika starts a canned response about how poetry isn’t a contest, but she stops, seeming to notice something.
I can see gears turning in her head. Finally, she smirks and returns Natsuki’s energy.
Monika: “I’m sure you’ll have plenty to say about mine, too.”
Natsuki seems satisfied with that response.
Yuri looks over at me, confused. I look back, and shrug. To be honest, I hardly understand it myself, but it’s obviously something that works for them.
Mochi: “So, down to the meeting spot?”
Monika: “Down to the meeting spot, Miss Vice President!”
I bring us down the long staircase and through the cramped bookshelves to our little clearing in the basement. Yuri takes a seat on a cardboard box.
Monika: “So, um… how was everyone’s week?”
Natsuki: “Pretty great!”
Mochi: “Yeah, good for me, too.”
Yuri lets out a noncommittal grunt. Monika tries not to let it ding the mood.
Monika: “Mm. Well, I can say I had a pretty good one, too. I finally managed to kick my insomnia, at least somewhat! Ahah!”
Natsuki and I share a knowing look.
Monika: “Um… this would be where I would normally just have you guys putter around and do what you’d like…”
Monika: “So, I suppose, if you’re interested in doing that, we could go explore all these books and find something fun to pick out and read!”
Monika: “How does that sound? And at 4:30, we can meet back here and exchange poems.”
Mochi: “Sounds good to me. Nats? Yuri?”
Yuri nods silently, while Natsuki responds verbally.
Natsuki: “Sure!”
Monika: “Well, then…”
Monika claps her hands.
Monika: “Go ahead and find something you like!”
Monika glances back at us as she vanishes into the bookshelves.
After a couple seconds of deliberation, Natsuki looks over at me, as if for approval. I nod my head, and she follows Monika.
I’m left alone with Yuri, who is simply perusing the books on the nearby bookshelf.
Mochi: “So… did you read what you picked out last week?”
Yuri nods.
Yuri: “I found it quite interesting.”
Mochi: “What was it about?”
Yuri: “It might be easier for me to show you…”
She picks out a book from the bookshelf and brings it over to me.
The title reads Concrete Teeth, by Gabi van den Burgh. I remember putting some copies on our front bookshelf since it gained a cult following on the internet.
Mochi: “Oh, this is the thing with all the footnotes?”
She nods, starting to smile.
Yuri: “It makes numerous innovations on the form of a novel and how it presents its narrative.”
Yuri: “I found it strikingly intricate and wonderfully challenging. I read it twice this week, and I still believe I need to read it again to get everything straight.”
Yuri: “The disorientation and unreality in its narrative structure are intentional to put you in the mind of its main character, who has lost all of his memories.”
Yuri: “He wanders the streets of Amsterdam and tries to piece together his life. The first thing he sees is his teeth scattered on a concrete bridge.”
Yuri: “I do not want to spoil anything, since half of the enjoyment of the book is deciphering meaning from the book’s confusing and disorienting signals.”
Mochi: “Wow…”
Mochi: “That honestly seems too heady for me.”
Mochi: “Like, I had trouble getting through Romeo and Juliet in high school…”
Yuri giggles softly, and shakes her head.
Yuri: “The English they speak in Shakespeare is quite difficult. It is not quite what we are taught in school.”
Yuri: “Even so, it is certainly not for everyone. Yukio quit it after the first chapter because he did not enjoy the amount of work required to derive meaning.”
I grit my teeth at that name.
Mochi: “Man, how come Yukio always seems to have the exact wrong opinion on everything?”
That observation makes Yuri snicker, though she hides her mouth and tries to stop it.
Yuri: “It is really funny how poor of a fit he ended up being, isn’t it?”
Yuri: “I saw him reading a Duskbell book and that was all I thought I needed.”
Her voice gets a little softer, a little more hesitant.
Yuri: “If I were a little less shallow, I suppose I would have stayed with Natsuki.”
I throw up my eyebrows.
Mochi: “Whoa, were you two a thing?”
She shakes her head, blushing to her ears.
Yuri: “Not in any real sense… we were just close friends until I pushed her away in my mania.”
Yuri: “I do not remember if I actually did have feelings of attraction toward her…”
Yuri: “…or if my memories are tainted by the appeal of her current aesthetic.”
Her eyes widen suddenly.
Yuri: “Um—”
Yuri: “I don’t mean any encroachment on your relationship—!”
I laugh, shrugging my shoulders.
Mochi: “No, it’s okay. She really is hot, isn’t she?”
She has trouble responding, and just nods.
Mochi: “You’re allowed to think that. I can’t exactly be that protective of her, considering she’s asking out Monika right now.”
Yuri blanches at that.
Yuri: “What? Mochi, is she—?”
She pauses as if she expects to be cut off. I stay quiet to let her finish, but she doesn’t complete the thought.
Mochi: “Uh, no, she’s not cheating, if that’s what you mean. We talked it over together.”
Mochi: “I think they’re cute together, and that Monika can make Natsuki really happy.”
Mochi: “Ultimately, her being happy is what I want.”
Yuri sighs, looking down at the formless, green-and-beige-and-red pattern on the carpet.
Yuri: “Wow…”
Yuri: “Open relationships, and experimental arrangements…”
Yuri: “That all sounds really wonderful. Being able to ensure that all your partner’s needs are met without the threat of inadequacy or settling…”
Yuri: “I guess I really messed up, getting married so quickly.”
I purse my lips, tucking the corners of my mouth into my cheeks.
Mochi: “I wouldn’t really say you messed up.”
Mochi: “It doesn’t seem like it was your fault, to me.”
Mochi: “I mean, he should have realized that you were dealing with something awful…”
Mochi: “If I were in a situation where a girl just lost a friend and tried to rebound by obsessing over me, I’d probably feel super rotten and guilty about it.”
Mochi: “It honestly sounds to me like he was just taking advantage of the state you were in.”
Yuri sighs through a clenched jaw, closing her eyes.
Yuri: “That is a very… merciful way to view it.”
Yuri: “I am not confident that I deserve the leeway you give me.”
Yuri: “But thank you.”
Suddenly, Monika emerges from the bookshelves, red-faced and out of breath. Natsuki jogs after her, similarly out-of-breath.
Monika: “Okay… it’s… time to share poems!”