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Serves me right.
I kept running, running, always running.
I was even hoping someone would just spit it out for me.
Well, I got exactly what I wished for, didn’t I?
Ahh…
I want to disappear.
. . .
Mizuki stood at the edge of the bridge, staring out at the sky.
It was sunset, and everything was lit with a bright orange glow that was slowly fading to red as the sun sank towards the horizon. The ground glinted far below them. A gust of wind ruffled their skirt, but they took no notice of it.
They gripped the bar of the low metal railing. It really was quite small, they thought. Something like that could be considered a safety hazard.
Not that they were complaining.
They took a deep breath. The sun was bright and hot, even though it was setting, its light shining onto their face.
I never wanted it to end up like this.
I’m so selfish, aren’t I?
Yeah… I can never face them now. Not even Ena.
Ena… Oh, Ena.
“There’s something wrong with me,” they whispered, “isn’t there?”
Hey, Mizuki.
Mizuki shut their eyes. They didn’t want to hear this. Not them. Not now.
Oh, it’s you, Akiyama.
Yo, Akiyama.
Mizukiiiii!
The voices kept coming, more and more of them. They covered their ears, but it wouldn’t stop.This can’t be real, this can’t be real, this can’t be real. Everything just got louder, and louder, and louder, and it wouldn’t stop.
Mizuki-kun?
Amia.
Oh, Amia.
Ugh, Mizuki, come on!
“Shut up,” Mizuki hissed. “Shut up, shut up, shut up shut up shut up shut up.”
Thank you, Mizuki.
Mizuki, you…
Hey, Mizuki!
Mizuki!
“Mizuki.”
. . .
Their eyes opened.
They were standing in a SEKAI. But it was a strange SEKAI, one they had never seen before. The scenery was pure white, with little gray triangles floating here and there without reason.
They still stood before the railing, but now it stretched out to either end as far as the eye could see. The sun, which before had been a burning orange color, was completely black.
“What…?” They turned partway around to see who had spoken.
It was Miku. Just plain old regular Nightcord Miku, except that her eyes, which were normally two shades of blue and pink, were a blank, flat gray.
“Mizuki,” the gray Miku said again, her voice as monotone and robotic as ever. Mizuki flinched, preparing themself for… something, but the Miku just gave a little shake of her head. “I’m sorry,” she said. “Are you alright?”
And somehow, at those words, a dam inside Mizuki broke. “No,” they whispered, and then they slid down to the ground and started to cry.
“I hate this. I h-hate this. I keep– I keep telling myself, it’s not real, it’s not real, but it is, and it’s unbearable!” They couldn’t explain why they were screaming out all of their pain to a Miku they didn’t know, but the tears kept coming nonetheless.
“I waited, and waited, for so long, to– to tell Ena, to tell her about it, all of it, and now it’s ruined, and even if I go back, they won’t talk about it, they’ll all be s-so kind to me, and I hate it!”
The gray Miku looked down at Mizuki with an expressionless gaze. Mizuki took a deep, shuddering breath, and let it out with a humorless gasp of a laugh. “I want to disappear. I want to die, Miku. What am I supposed to do?”
The Miku said nothing for a long moment. Then, she knelt down on the ground and looked Mizuki in the eye. “Please don’t die,” she said gently. “Then I would be sad. And so would they.” She closed her eyes, as if remembering something.
“All of your friends, all the people you know. They all want you to come back. They believe in you, Mizuki. They believe you can keep living, too.”
“They don’t,” Mizuki said, even while some part of them begged to hear the Miku out. “They’re all too good for me. They’ll forget me as soon as I don’t come to school tomorrow, I know it. I know it.”
The Miku fell silent again, her gray gaze lowering to the floor. Then, slowly, she stood up, straightening the front of her dirty white dress. She stared down at Mizuki once again, but was it a trick of the light, or were her eyes not as dull as they had been before?
“I see,” she said at last. “I may not be able to change your mind, Mizuki. But… I know there is someone who can.”
. . .
“Hey.”
Mizuki blinked. Suddenly, they were back on the bridge, staring down at the ground far, far below.
They knew that voice. They had heard it almost every day for the past few years. But never before had that person sounded anything like this.
They turned their head to look, knowing exactly who they would see. Sure as day turns to night, there was Shinonome Ena, looking just like she did on the day that Mizuki had first seen her face.
“Hey, Amia,” Ena said, her voice wavering. She was trying to put on a brave face, but it was clear that she was failing. “Think you can run away from me?”
Mizuki felt their throat tighten. They opened their mouth, to tell her to leave, or to cry, or scream, or to say something, anything at all.
“Wait.” Ena said quickly, before Mizuki could speak. “Just… Wait a second. I…” She paused, searching, her face desperate. Then, finally, she put her head in her hands.
“Oh, God. This is all my fault, isn’t it?” She cried hopelessly. “If I had just gone with you, or if I hadn’t listened to that stupid, stupid kid… Everything would be fine. It would be, I know it would.”
Mizuki’s eyes widened. What…? What is she…?
But Ena barreled on, oblivious to Mizuki’s confusion. “And I know– I know you hate this, maybe you hate me, even. And I promise you, if you want, we’ll go our separate ways, maybe we’ll never talk to each other again after this, but please, please you have to come back please…”
Ena’s voice broke. She took several deep breaths, trying to keep herself under control. Mizuki tried to speak again, but the words wouldn’t come.
Finally, Ena steeled herself enough to go on, but her words were choked and quiet. “Because…” She took a shaky step forward, hands pressed to her chest. “Because…!”
Her voice rose to a crescendo, filled with desperation and abandon as she cried out, “I love you, Akiyama Mizuki!”
The world went quiet.
Mizuki could no longer hear, no longer think. Their head was empty of everything but Ena’s words. I… Love… You?
In slow motion, like the air was made of pure heat haze, Mizuki turned around.
Ena, Ena, oh, Ena.
All this time, I thought I was the only one with a secret like that.
They didn’t remember how close they were to the railing, didn’t remember how low they had noticed it was.
Until they stumbled, and, with that sick weightless feeling, found that they were toppling backwards over the edge, with nothing there to stop them.
That split second felt like a thousand years.
Their hair flying in their face, obscuring their vision.
Ena’s strangled gasp, her horrified expression frozen in time.
Their skirt fluttering in the wind, just past the tipping point.
Their eyes wide, their arm outstretched, the feeling of terror and horrible resignation that settled in their chest.
After all, it ends like this…?
A pale, faintly glowing hand reached out and clasped their wrist.
Suspended above the water, rays of the sun’s light piercing their eyes, Mizuki stared up at the person who had caught them. Who…?
But then the hand was gone, and it was Ena who grabbed their shoulders and pulled them back to earth.
Mizuki stumbled forward, unsteady, and crumpled to the ground, nearly collapsing onto Ena as they did so. Ena sank onto her knees as well, arms still wrapped around Mizuki’s shoulders.
“Oh, my God,” Ena whispered, her voice wavering. “Yeah,” Mizuki mumbled, and they began to cry again in earnest.
They knew that this had to be embarrassing, and their makeup would surely be ruined, but huddled in Ena’s arms, their face buried in her left shoulder, all those things seemed pointless and trivial.
“A-Ah, shoot, are you crying?” Ena gasped. She untangled herself from the hug, and began to wipe at Mizuki’s tears with the back of her hand. “I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t apologize,” Mizuki said, gently taking Ena’s hand and moving it away from their face. They smiled through their tears. “You know, I think… I think I love you too, Enanan. How about that?”
Ena’s eyes widened, and they seemed to Mizuki to be as bright and clear as stars. Ena laughed, sniffling as she leaned her forehead against Mizuki’s. “How ‘bout it, huh? And after all that time you spent teasing me at the festival, too.”
Mizuki shuddered, memories of the school festival rising unbidden in their mind, but Ena gave their hand a tight squeeze. “Hey, no. Knowing what I know isn’t gonna change how I feel,” she said. “Secret or no secret, you’ll always be Mizuki to me.”
Ena laced her fingers with Mizuki’s. “I’m glad you’re still here,” she whispered, and then she leaned in and kissed them.
It was only for a second, just barely a brush of Ena’s lips against their own. Almost nothing, as kisses go. But for Mizuki, it was everything they could have wanted.
I’m glad you're here too.
Ena drew back, breaking the kiss, and smiled. Her cheeks glowed pink with embarrassment. “Hey,” she said, a little breathlessly. “Do you… Do you want to stay at my place tonight?”
Mizuki chuckled, a little of their old humor floating back to the surface. “That’s a bit forward, don’t you think? This was only our first kiss.”
“N-No!” Ena cried, her face flushing an even more adorable shade of red. “It’s nothing like that, you…!” She sighed. “It’s just, my house is closer than yours from here. And…” She gripped their hand just a little tighter. “I don’t want to leave you alone right now.”
She had a point. And while Mizuki’s chest still smoldered with fear and shame, the desire to stay with Ena overwrote everything else. They took a deep breath, in and out, and said, “Okay.”
“Okay,” Ena repeated, as though making sure she hadn’t just imagined Mizuki’s words. “Okay.”
She stood up, helping Mizuki to their feet as well. They stood side by side, still holding on to each others’ hands, the wind ruffling both their skirts as they faced away from the sun. In the sky, far above their heads, a crescent moon was beginning to rise.
Ena began to walk ahead, but Mizuki took one last look back at the bridge. For a split second, the railing seemed to stretch on endlessly, but then they looked again, and it was perfectly normal.
The ghost of a smile passed across their face. Thank you, Miku.
“Mizuki?” Ena asked. Mizuki glanced over at her. She was gazing at them intensely, but her voice was gentle. “Are you coming?”
Mizuki took a small step forward and nodded.
“Yeah,” they said finally. “I am.”